Strong Steele
by ellabankss
Summary: I am not the same naive girl anymore. I am wide-awake. I am strong. I am Anastasia Steele.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello there! This is my first time to write a fanfic. I've read most of stories here (so many favorite stories!) and including those cheat ff. Well, this is a Cheat story, too. BUT, instead of focusing about the past and cheating, my story will be all about Ana and her fight to have a new and simple life. For the past few months, I followed and read a lot of cheating ff, I must say, some of em are new and interesting but it always end the same way. Christian begging for forgiveness, changing back to Heart and Flowers guy, being sweet and understanding Father and Husband again, and other things a cheating rich husband would do to take back his family and then Ana giving him another chance and BAM, HEA. Don't get me wrong, I love the original Christian from FSOG, its just that I want to give Ana a chance to get know what its like to have her normal life back, to get to do normal things without the influence of a hot-shot husband and have a relationship with a low-profile guy. And I apologize for all of my mistakes, not a writer, more like a reader.

So let me know if I should continue this or not. Reviews are highly appreciated.

I do not own the characters. Just the story.

* * *

A brand new day. It's been 5 months since we moved in this apartment in downtown Portland. It's has one bedroom, a living room and a small kitchen. It's smaller than the apartment I used to share with Kate years before, but it will do, for now. And today is my first day at work in a small bookstore two blocks from here. I know its not a publishing house, but still, it a start of something new and that is still related with books. The difference is that, I will be selling, not reading. But that's fine. The pay is a big addition with my remaining budget for bills and rent. It's been hard. These past few months, I remained tight with just spending necessary things for me and Ted. But with Teddy's massive appetite, I never think twice in spending food to feed my 4 year old child.

The other reason I chose to work in Al's Bookstore is that there's a day care center just across the street. I can't leave Teddy alone at home or with a baby sitter, _wish I could afford to pay one_, while I'm at work. So when I saw the day care center, I didn't think twice to accept the job knowing I could visit Teddy anytime I want just across the street.

As I open the front door, Teddy, being Teddy ran out, as he was excited to go out and play in the day care center. I was just locking the door when I hear a yelp and sound of boxes being thrown on the floor. I turned and saw Teddy giggling and a man on his ass on the floor with clothes, oh my wait scratch that, boxer shorts all over his face. Mister Boxers. _Nice petname_. I can tell he's laughing too cause his shoulders are shaking.

"Woah, little man. You sure have strength of a bull to knock me up with just one move, eh?" Mr. Boxers says while removing all those boxers covering his face.

"Sowry mister" Ted still giggling though I doubt he means it.

"Teddy!" I called while making my way to help the poor Mister from Ted's assault. "What did do you do this time? How many times did I tell you to not run like that in the hallway?" I crouched down to pick up the other boxes from the floor.

"Hey, it's alright." Think I heard Mr. Boxers says.

"I'm sorr-" I couldn't finish what I was going to say when I turned to the man who was now also picking up the contents of the box he was holding. OH. MY. GOD. I am now looking at a pair of light blue-ish eyes, perfect jaw line, prominent nose and OH those lips and a short dirty blond hair to complete the perfect assessment of this perfect looking man who's staring and grinning at me. _He knows I am checking him out! GET A GRIP STEELE!_

"Um" I faked a cough. "I-I'm sorry for being assaulted by my son." Why am I stuttering? This is not good.

"Assaulted?" He laughs. "I told you it's alright. You sure have a very energetic little guy here. And just leave this small mess to me. Looks like you're on your way to somewhere that made—"

"Teddy" I voluntarily gave Ted's name, because calling him a "little guy" won't really describe how big he is for a four year-old kid.

"Right, that made Teddy, excited and ran off like that." I looked at Ted who's now jumping and whining telling me to hurry up.

"Ted, wait a second, ok? We have to help Mr. Boxers here and then we can go." That made Teddy laugh. Oh shit. Did I just say that out loud?

"I told you, I can handle th—, wait. Did you just call me Mr. Boxers?" I can tell he is holding off his smile because of the amusement in his face.

I blushed. "Um, yeah I think I did. Sorry, its just that when I first saw you, you were covered with boxer shorts." That made me blush even more.

He gave in and laughed so hard. "Well that's fine, as long you don't call me that in front of my mother, she'll surely agree with you and might change my name permanently. And that would be telling." He winks.

Oh my. I think my heart just stopped beating. _GO, NOW!_

"Are you sure you don't need help with these?"

"Yeah. I will be just fine. It's all part of moving, you know."

Oh. So he's our new neighbor. Ever since we moved in here, we never had a neighbor. That's why I felt comfortable for Teddy to run like that whenever we go out.

"So you're the one who's gonna occupy the other apartment in this floor. I apologize again for a messy welcome greeting by Ted." I say as I stand up.

"No worries. Well, since we're going to bump into each other us being neighbors, why not start with a welcome bump?" I smiled. "You should go, and maybe we could do a proper welcome party later. By the way, I'm Gavin Boyle."

As I take his hand, I felt two things that I haven't felt for a long time now; safe and warm. _Maybe I'm just imagining things_. "Anastasia Steele. But you can call me Ana."

"Ana." He nods and smiled.

I blushed. _What the heck is wrong with me?_ "We got to get going, first day at work and don't want to be late!" I quickly reached for Teddy who is now trying to reach the call button for the elevator. "Nice to meet you, Gavin" I waved as the doors open. We make our way inside.

"Bye, Mr. Boxers!" Teddy waves too. And before the door closes, I see Gavin waving back and flashed that panty-combusting smile that could make any woman melt. _Oh boy_.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: OMG. I can't believe it. Over 500 views. 41 follows, 10 favorites. A MASSIVE thank you to all of you who took time to read this story of mine. I never imagined to get such attention. I was so nervous yesterday, wondering if someone will actually read my story. And to those who reviewed and sent messages/questions, HUGS~~ for you guys. Here's some answers you want to know:

First. Yes Christian will be in this story. He's Teddy's dad and I believe Ana still has that kind heart and not that evil to take away that right from him.

Second. Yes they've divorced. Ana changed her name back to Steele cause she doesn't want to get attention or influence from the name Grey. And they moved to Portland. A neutral place.

And lastly, As I've said, this story will focus on Ana's recovery from the divorced. She married so young and with the very first guy she became attracted to (or should I say, lost her virginity to). And she didn't get the chance to get to know more people outside the Grey family and their lifestyle. And Christian always get what he wants! So unfair. So let's give Ana's character a chance to grow and experience life without the Christian Grey Package. lolx

A massive shout out to SmileRose! Thanks for the full support xx

Hope you like this chapter. THANKS SO MUCH! ~~

Sorry again for the mistakes. Reviews and suggestions are all appreciated.

* * *

"Be a good boy Teddy and I will see you at lunch time, ok?" I kiss my baby boy's chubby cheeks before he goes off the far corner which is full of toys.

"Don't worry Ana, Teddy will be in good hands. And you can come and check on him anytime you like." Says Mury, who is the head facilitator of the day care center. I think she's in her mid thirties with a long blonde hair and friendly green eyes.

"Thank you, Mury." I say with a smile. "I'll be just across the street, so if anything happens just let me know and I'll be here in a heartbeat."

"Of course. Good luck with your first day at the bookstore. And give the old man Al a 'hello' from me."

I waved. "Will do. Thanks again!"

I made my way to the bookstore and as I close the door, I saw Al behind the counter reading stack of papers. He's a fifty-five year old widower with no children. He's not that tall with gray hair and moustache. I wonder why he didn't remarry again, I must say he's still a good looking guy despite his age.

"Good morning, Al." I greet with excitement in my voice.

"Oh, Ana. Good morning to you too." He gestures for me to come around the counter. "I was just checking all the list of new books delivered yesterday. Most of them are YA books, boy, these kind of books sure sell a lot these days." I look at the corner he was pointing "so I want you to help me out to organize these books and then I'll leave the counter to you while I check all the new books in the right places. If you have any questions about the long list of the books, just go find me anytime, ok?"

I nod. It will be a long day. "Sure, let's get started then." And with that my first day went off without any glitch.

"Mommy!"

"Hey there, baby boy." I say as I catch my raging-bull like son. "I missed you." I nuzzle his chubby cheeks. Even though we had lunch together that was 4 hours ago, it seemed like forever when I last saw him. I just can't bear to be separated from my son for too long.

"Mommy, mommy! Jamie said I haf same name as Mr. Bean ted bear. Ish that twrue? Can I haf a ted bear too and name him Teddy like me, Mommy?" He says looking with those puppy blue eyes. I guess my son made a friend today and that gave him an interest with teddy bears. He had many of them even before he turned one. But he didn't even notice them because of the massive train sets and legos.

"Yeah, well that's true. We'll see if we can find a bear that looks like you, alright? But I think I already have the cutest teddy bear in the world." And I started tickling him. It really feels great to end a working day like this.

"Say good bye to Ms. Mury now."

"Good bye, Ms. Mwury!" I can't help but smile hearing Teddy's cute voice.

"Bye, Teddy! See you tomorrow! Bye, Ana." I wave as we started walking back home.

As we step out of the lift, I saw few men carrying plastic bags enter Gavin's apartment. _Hmm, a welcome party_. There goes our 'proper welcome party' with Mr. Boxers. Maybe some other time. _What are you thinking, maybe he doesn't mean it_.

Oh my god. What is happening to me? Fussing over some new guy I just met. I never learn do I? Maybe I am just over reacting. This is the effect of not being able to have male friends from the past few years. Being controlled and monitored, even having a polite conversation with mail man and worst not being able to have normal phone conversation with my few male friends because of a body guard hovering nearby or him listening intently beside me. Him. _Oh no, stop. Don't go there_.

A ringing sound coming from my phone, a cheap one not a Blackberry, stops my inner monologue. I grabbed my phone from my walmart bag and glanced at the screen. _Mom_.

I make my way to the kitchen before I answered the phone. Don't want to disturb Ted with him watching his favorite cartoon show.

"Hey Mom."

"Ana, baby girl, how are you?" My mom sounding like her usual self.

"Doing just fine, Mom. Just got back from work."

"Oh yes, I remember it's your first day in the bookstore! How was it? Is you boss treating you ok?"

"Everything's good. You know my love for books are like going to be for forever. And Al is a very nice man. He is very patient and taught me a lot of things today." I said with a smile in my face. Even if I'm not in publishing, the smell of books is like home to me. And I really enjoyed my first day.

"Good to hear that, baby girl. How's Teddy? Did he behave himself while you were working?"

"I guess so, he's new friend Jamie made him interested with teddy bears because he has the same name." I laugh. "And he wants to have one and he's going to name the bear Teddy too." This time I laugh so hard because I just remembered how Teddy was so serious and excited about the whole Teddy the Bear thing.

I heard my mom sobbed. "Mom? Is there something wrong?" My voice full of alarm. Did she have a fight with Bob? Or maybe someone is sick?

"Oh Ana, nothing's wrong," she said in between sobs "it just good to hear you laugh like that again…" _Oh mom_.

"Seriously, what's not to laugh Mom? Teddy's a good reason to smile and laugh." It's true. After everything that happened the last few years, Ted's been the sole reason why I'm here, standing with my own feet and starting a new life.

"Mom, I'm fine, Teddy's fine, well he's perfect. We're doing well here so stop the crying. I am satisfied with what we have right now. I couldn't ask for more."

"I am so proud of you, Ana. You're such a brave woman. I love you, you know that right? You can call me anytime, if you need anything, I'll be here. I miss you and Teddy.."

A tear rolls down from my cheek. No, stop, I can't breakdown right now. I've cried an ocean already, I'm done with that. "We love you too, Mom. I wouldn't know what to do without you or Ray. So, thank you, always. Don't worry, we'll be alright." Yes, this is the new me. No more negative thoughts. No more "what ifs". It's not going to be easy, but I will try, no matter what.

After a few more minutes with mom on the phone, we finally said our goodbyes. She promised to visit us soon. once Bob settles his leave from work. I can't wait to see familiar faces again. Though Ray is just a couple of hours away, I don't want to cause any trouble, especially now he's living with his girlfriend. I don't know if that's the right term, with their age, I'm not sure if boyfriend/girlfriend still suite them. I giggle at the thought.

I am very happy for Ray, at last he found someone after Mom. At least someone is going to look after him now, mostly with the cooking. I would never know how he survived the take-outs.

After dinner, I tucked Teddy to bed. We used to share the bed, but day after day, I find it hard to sleep beside a wrestler-in-the-making baby boy. He can surely throw a painful punch even in his sleep. So couch it is for me. I don't mind at all. I got this with 50% off sale and it's very comfortable.

* * *

_"Why did you do this Christian?" _

_"Ana… baby, please listen to me. It's not what you think." _

_"Not what I think? I am not fucking blind, and don't you baby me! How could you? I trusted you, I gave you everything and this, this is what I am going to get." _

_"I love you Ana, only you. I don't want to lose you. You're my life. Please listen to me… Ana please don't go." _

_I stared at my husband's face, tears streaming down his cheeks and part of me wants to wipe them and hold him and tell him that's everything going to be alright. But, no. I feel so betrayed. _

_"I knew it. I fucking knew it. I would never be enough." And with that I turned around and lift sleeping Teddy into my arms, and walked out the door without looking back. _

* * *

I woke up with the sound of my boy singing what seems like the Sesame Street song. "Sunny day, lalala! La la la…" Oh he's just so cute. He's very opposite of me, a morning person, has a sweet voice and very smart just like- doesn't matter. If I have to wake up early morning to play with Ted, I'll do it. I will even buy more alarm clocks just to not disappoint my baby boy.

"Good mowrning mommy!"

"Morning, baby boy. What do you like for breakfast?" I say as I shower his chubby cheeks with feather like kisses.

It's a bright Thursday morning and everything is going well in the bookstore. Al is so right about the YA books being so popular these days. I've read a few, but English literature would always be my favorite. Al would let me read whenever its downtime like in the afternoon.

Lunch time comes, and I'm off to get Teddy at the day care. We usually eat at the diner nearby called DANNY'S. Teddy loves their burgers and it's very affordable for its size. I don't like to make Teddy wait for his food so instead of going back home and cook, Danny's the perfect place for lunch.

Teddy's playing with a boy with blond curls which he introduced to me this morning as Jamie. I'm glad he's being friendly with other kids. I would never want to see my child alone and left in the corner. In the future, I would love to give him a little sister or a brother. Being an only child, I definitely know what it feels like to be alone. And I never want Teddy to feel the same way while growing up.

"Ted, let's go, time for lunch." Ted makes his way like a raging bull, as always.

As we walk our way to Danny's, my phone starts ringing. _Who could this be?_ It's an unknown number. I stop, and contemplated for a second, should I answer this?

"Mommy, thewre's a puppy!" Teddy says trying wriggle out of my hold.

"Teddy, wait a second." Okay, here it goes. "Hello?" I can hear some rustling sound from the other line but no answer. "Hello?" I tried again. But nothing. A few more seconds, and the line went dead. Who was that? Could it be…

"Mommy! Look! Mommy!" As I turn to look where my son ran off to while I was on the phone, didn't even notice he was not beside me anymore, he was holding a brown puppy that looks like it needs a serious scrubbing.

And then like a slow motion in a movie, an SUV and a motorcycle round the corner of the street like they were in drag racing. The SUV turned left all of a sudden causing the motorcycle to lose control.

And before I knew it, the motorcycle is coming straight toward this way, no not where I am standing. But to where a small kid who's a holding a puppy in front of a flower shop.

Oh no.

"TEDDY!"


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry for the late update, I was supposed to post this chapter yesterday but work got in the way. Work's a b*tch, ya know? So I wrote a longer chapter 4,000+ words. Whew. A lot of you have **tons** of **questions** about the story.** AND I DO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS.** Please be patient, and you will get those **answers** chapter by chapter. I promise. I read all your reviews and messages. It means a lot to me that you take time to read and follow this story. and favorites too!

Some of your** questions** will be **answered** in this chapter, so hope you enjoy.

And you will get some hints about what happened to Ana and Christian's marriage from Ana's dreams/nightmares.

**MASSIVE THANKS** again and leave reviews; positive or negative, I don't mind. All of them are appreciated.

Sorry for the mistakes!

* * *

"TEDDY!"

And before I get to Teddy, a police officer quickly grabbed Ted to the side as the motorcycle hit the sidewalk bumping into the front of the flower shop knocking down a bunch of flower arrangements.

I quickly run into the other side where the police officer is carrying Ted with the puppy still in his arms.

"Teddy!" As soon as he jump off the officers hold, I hugged him so tight like he's my lifeline. "Oh baby boy, are you ok? Are you hurt?" Though he looks just alright. I just needed to be sure.

"Mom, so tight-squeeze-the puppy!" I release my hold from him, just enough to look at waggling little creature that he's still holding. I checked his arm for bruises or any signs of injury. _None_. Thank god. "Look, Mr. Boxers! Puppy!" He turns to the police officer, who's now talking with another officer. I guess his partner or back up. Wait. Did he just call him…?

"I'll make sure first that the boy is alright. Give me a few minutes and I'll check on what you got." Then he turns around. "You did good, Ted boy, you saved the puppy!" I am now standing face to face with the police officer who just saved my son's life. And he really is Gavin. Wow. Mr. Boxers the police officer, who would have thought? I didn't recognize him 'cause of I was so focused and worried with Ted and the accident that just happened. He looks… so hot in uniform. _Oh my_. It's this weird feeling again. After not seeing him for a few days, I thought he didn't really exist and that he was just a dream. And now, here he is. Looking extremely hot in uniform. _Hello? Steele? Wake up!_

What am I thinking? My son has just almost run by a motorcycle and here I am ogling the police officer who turns out to be Mr. Boxers.

" … and maybe you should go home for the day. I will try to—Ana? Are you okay?" Oh shit. I was so caught up with my inner monologue that I didn't notice he was talking to me.

"Sorry, Gavin, I was just… "

"Hey, its alright." I feel his warm hand wrapped my upper arm, soothing. _Hmm_, "I understand you're still a bit shaken after what happened." I just nodded. Well he's right, part of me is still shocked with the small accident. But I was also got distracted by him, showing up looking so hot in uniform. _Oh just stop it_.

"As I was saying, Ted seems to be ok, no injuries or bruises. But just to be sure we can bring him to the emergency room to be checked out and then get you home. I don't think you'll still be in the mood to work the rest of the day."

"No, I don't think we need to go to the hospital. We'll just go straight home and rest for the day." I sighed. "You're right, work would be the last thing I want to do right now." I say as I watch Teddy play with the puppy. I take a mental note to call Al and Mury to inform about what happened.

"Okay," as he takes his hand back. "I just need to check the situation, it won't take long, since few other officers have just arrived. I will take you home—"

I cut him off. "No, it's fine. It's isn't necessary for you to do that. And you have a job to do. Saving Teddy awhile ago is more than enough of what you did. I don't even know how to thank you. If it you weren't here at that time," I closed my eyes, imagining what could have happened if Gavin didn't make it on time to grab Teddy.

"Hey," his soft voice shaking me from the horrible thoughts that's flooding through my mind "everything's fine now. Good thing that I was in the area and saw through the situation before it could happen."

"Thank you," I say with my most sincere voice, "first being trampled by my son, now this," I sigh "I owe you big time."

"Oh, no you don't." Shaking his head with a small smile, "Even if I have to throw myself in front of a tank," _Tank?_ I giggle, "just to save Teddy, I'd do it again." He says standing straight up, looking like he's making a promise of a lifetime. "And with me being 'trampled' by Ted," his small smile turning into a full grin "was the best welcome greeting I've ever had in my life so far."

I can't help but return his smile. He has this _superhero_ vibe that makes everyone, especially me, feel safe around him. He looks so manly and strong that he can solve any problem in the world. We just stared at each other for a few seconds and before I get lost in the magic of his light blue eyes I looked away and reached for Ted. _Good move.._

"I would like to thank you again, Gavin. I wish I could do something to show my gratitude. We're going home now, I am sure Teddy's starving." He's about to say something so I quickly added, "Really, you don't need to take us home. It's just a few blocks away. I think I'll manage to hold on to Ted til we reach the apartment." I really need to compose myself before I do or say something stupid.

"Okay," he says defeated "but can I check on you two this evening? I would like to make sure you're fine and Ted."

"Sure." And before I could stop myself, "why don't you join us for dinner? Let us give you a proper welcome party and a bit of appreciation of what you did today."

"I would love to join you for dinner." He says with that panty-combusting-smile and because he's in uniform it won't just melt a woman but will make her forget that underwear does exist. _Steele, you're in trouble! _

Holy shit. Am I making a mistake of inviting him for dinner? I am just being friendly and really want to thank him for saving Teddy, so guess not. "Great. What time should we expect you?" I ask before I make myself look like a fool just staring at him. _Oh, you're hopeless!_

"I get off at 6, so maybe around 6:30. Would that be alright?"

I nod. "6:30 then." When I turned to grab Teddy's hand, I just noticed a dark brown-haired boy maybe 3 or 4 years older than Ted, talking with my son and now holding the brown pup.

"He's my puppy Jonas. I just left him for a second and then he's gone. I'm so glad you found him. Thanks" He lets Teddy pet the pup one more time before he waved goodbye. I can tell my son is a bit sad now that he knows he can't take home the pup. _Oh my baby boy_.

As I went down so that I could see he's pouting face, I noticed that a crowd had gather around the area. "Mommy, no more puppy." He looks so adorable even when he's about to cry. I need to cheer him up.

"How about I cook your favorite mac and cheese for lunch with chocolate marshmallow ice cream for dessert then we can watch Finding Nemo or Madagascar or both . What do you think?"

"Wreally?" Ted says lifting his head with excitement in his eyes. _Gotcha._

"Yes." I say with a huge grin on my face.

"YAY"! he jumps frantically up and down and then grabbing my hand leading the way back home. I waved at Gavin who just nods. And with that, the puppy and almost motorcycle accident have already forgotten by my four year old boy's innocent mind.

* * *

After Teddy woke up from his afternoon nap, which was cut short 'cause he managed to finish the two animated movies after lunch, I start preparing for dinner. I think he didn't really notice the small accident because he had his full attention with Jonas the pup. Which is a good thing. I don't want my son to be traumatized and be scared in motorcycles for life. Well I'm not sure if he will be interested in motorcycles when he's old enough to drive. He's a boy, he will surely love to have those mean machines that men love.

"Boys and their toys." I mumble to myself.

I stopped in my tracks. I closed my eyes trying to block the memories that come along with that phrase. _Stop please_. It just came out of my not-so smart mouth thinking about Teddy's future interest in cars and such. Shaking my head, I tried to just focus on putting finishing touches to my Turkey Fettuccine Skillet. I don't want to ruin this night by fussing over those unwanted memories.

I glanced at Teddy who's busy playing with toys while mindlessly singing in a low tone "I Yike to move-et, move-et. I Yike to move-et, move-et". Oh my, that song again from Madagascar. It's going to be stuck in his head for days. The first time he saw the movie he was just 2 and half years old, and he liked it right away and watched it almost everyday. He's so adorable I don't think I'll ever get tired of watching him like this.

Few minutes later, after arranging 3 empty plates on the table, I heard a knock on the door. He's here. I looked at my watch and it says 6:29. A minute early. After making a quick swipe of my hands through my simple yellow dress, I make my way to open the door. _Good luck, Steele._

"Hi."

_Oh. My. God. _I thought that Mr. Boxers in uniform was the only one who can make any woman forget about the existence of undies, boy I was wrong.

"Hey. Come on in, you're just on time." I stand back to let him enter the apartment.

He changed into a blue v-neck shirt and jeans that shows off his muscular physique. He doesn't have a wrestler-like body, it's just perfectly fine for his hot-cop-hero-looking image. _Swoon_. His hair still wet from the shower and his spicy scent made him manlier and _extremely_ sexy. _Hold it together, girl_.

"Take a sit first I will just make sure everything's ready then we can eat." That's a lie. Dinner is absolutely ready. I just needed space to breathe.

"Sure, take your time." He smiles, but I didn't miss a hint of awkwardness from his eyes. Is he nervous?

He looked around before settling down the couch, taking in our small apartment. His apartment has 3 bedrooms and a bigger kitchen, I checked both apartments first before deciding to take the smaller one. It's not that bad even if its smaller, polished floors, a queen size bed, modern bathroom with a tub big enough for me and Ted, 'cause we bath together sometimes. I know I should have chosen the bigger one. Its not that I could afford it with my own money, with Ted's child support from his _father_, we definitely can pay the rent. But with the recent events in our life, I really like to reconnect with my son. And the only way I know how is to keep him close to me. And this small space that we have right now is making it possible and at the same time it's really comforting to feel normal again being able to make my own decisions.

We're not going to stay here for a long time. I don't want to be a selfish mom. I have decided to only use the money from Ted's child support for food, considering my son's massive appetite I don't want him to starve just because of my stubbornness of spending his father's money, _it's his right anyway_ and when he starts kindergarten next year. I am already searching for an apartment near the private child development center that I've chosen for Ted. For now, I am satisfied with our living conditions.

When I came back to the living room after a few minutes, Ted is now on Gavin's lap, talking animatedly about the movies we watched this afternoon. Ted has this magic charm that would make anyone be fond of him.

"Dinner is ready." Ted hurriedly jumps off Gavin's lap and make his way to the kitchen. "Ted, don't forget to wash your hands first."

Gavin awkwardly followed behind me as I help wash my hyper active son's hands. There is no way I'm going to make him to do this task on his own.

"I hope you'll like what I've prepared. It's nothing fancy. Turkey Fettuccine Skillet and Orange-Maple Glazed chicken." Ted's another favorite.

"Smells good." He says but I can tell something is bothering him. "Uhm, are we not going to wait for your husband to join us?"

Oh. So that is what making him awkward all along. He thinks I'm married. _Duh, you have a son, that's normal for him to think you're married_. But I'm not wearing a ring. I wonder why would he think I'm married.

"We don't have to, 'cause I don't have one."

He visibly relaxes after that. "Sorry, just thought that you're with someone even if you're not wearing a ring." I know he wants to say more but decided against it.

"It's fine." I don't really like to discuss the details in front of my four year old son, so I decided to change the topic by asking him about what happened to the guy in the motorcycle.

"He just had some bruises but nothing serious. He said when the SUV almost hit him, he had trouble with the breaks, luckily a few feet away from Ted, he was able to hit it that made him crashed lightly into the flower stand."

"Good thing that he wasn't that hurt."

"Well, yeah, but we still had to question him with the stunt he pulled with the SUV, they were both over the speed limit. So we took him with us to the station and soon followed by the SUV driver that was stopped by another officer."

"I hope you won't let them off the hook that easily. They sure violated traffic rules and almost hit an innocent kid and damaged some property." I say angrily after knowing how irresponsible these people are, they could have caused more damaged.

"Don't worry, everything's taken care of." He says taking my hand and squeezing it lightly. He took me by surprise, so before I could respond, Teddy happily shouts "Mommy, I'm done!" then hops off the chair asks if he can go play again. I nodded and watch him run back to the living room.

I can still feel his hand on me, so I looked down and he noticed it and pulls his hand back. "Sorry, I was caught up watching how healthy and bubbly your son is. I guess he's just doing fine after what happened this afternoon. Plus your hand feels so soft." He said seriously.

I blushed. Who wouldn't? _Breathe, Steele_.

"And you cook so well. I never had a fettuccine like that before. Best ever. Would you mind if ask for the recipe?"

"You cook?"

"Well, yeah, but not as good as you." He smiles. Oh my. A cop who can cook. Can Mr. Boxers be more than perfect than he is right now? "My mom made sure to teach me one or two new recipes every time I visit her and dad. She told me that cooking is the best way to woo a girl that I like. But I didn't tell her I disagree. Second best maybe, but the best way?" He shrugs. "You know what I mean." He looks at me straight in the eyes that sent some kind of weird electric feeling all throughout my body.

Good god, I definitely know what he means.

I decided not to respond to that. "I see. No, I don't mind. It's just easy anyway." I get up and head to the fridge. "Do you still have a room for dessert?" He nods and we continued to talk more about his family.

His parents live in San Francisco where he also lived before moving here. He has an older sister who is now based in New York. She owns a photography studio and is 6 years older than him. He said he's been avoiding his sister these past few months because his sister wants to take photos of him in uniform and make it like a sample/model for her studio in New York. I asked why he doesn't want to, and he just simply said 'I am not a model, I'm a cop.'

And I also learned that the night he moved into his apartment, the guys who I saw entering his apartment that time, were his fellow officers from Portland Police Bureau. Apparently, they helped with the move and decided to give him a welcome party. _Oh that's why_. And the reason why I nearly thought he didn't really exist and disappearing for a few days was that he was working for 2 shifts two straight days now. And that's the only time I notice those not-so dark circles under his eyes.

He asked about my family and I told him about my Mom who lives in Savannah with Bob, husband number four. And of course, Ray, who I consider my dad, even though he isn't my biological father. And I also mention Ray being an ex army. That seems to get him more interested.

"What about Teddy's father? He asked after a few seconds of later. "I apologize again for assuming you were married. Even if you aren't wearing a ring, you're too beautiful to be a single mom." _Oh, really?_ "I mean, if I were Ted's father, I would marry you right away, so no other men would have a chance to steal you away from me."

I gave a shy smile. _A charmer, eh? _I sigh. I knew he would ask. "Divorced. Over a year now."

He expression change from curiosity to … suspicious?

"Don't tell me you're already over 35 and that you're just using those anti-aging cream that my sister is also using?" I laughed out loud. His facial expression is just too funny.

"No, sorry to disappoint you, but no." I continue to laugh. "I'm just 27 silly."

"Oh, thank god. My sister would be over the moon, if told her that I found someone who's also using the same brand and that person turned to look like just 23." I look three years younger? Somehow, I doubt that.

"Why would you think I'm over 35 who's using an anti aging cream?"

"Because you look too young to be divorced." He said honestly.

I just shrugged. "I married young, so."

"You're still young. I'm 31 so don't feel bad about 27 not being young anymore."

He smiled sweetly.

"You know, you're the only person who managed to make an awkward conversation into a hilarious one. You're not just a cop, a cook and now you're also a clown. Very talented, I'm impressed." More than impressed actually.

"Talents? Oh no. You haven't seen them all, yet." He said with his voice laced with extreme sexiness and that panty-combusting smile that would make any woman forget about – I don't remember anymore!

Holy shit. I'm in deep trouble. Why does he have to sound like that? Why does he have to smile like that? _Because he can._

I need a distraction… Teddy!

"Uhm, I-I think we have to check on Teddy, I'm sure he's ready for bed." _Here we go again, stuttering. _

We head to the living room, me a head of few steps, and found Teddy curled up on the couch, already asleep. TV still on with some weird cartoon show.

"Let me help you carry him to his bed." He volunteered.

I changed him to his pyjamas since he's already dead to the world, there's no way I would wake him up to give him a bath first.

After we tucked Teddy, we head back to the living room. "I think its time for me to head back to my own apartment." Oh. "Seeing Ted sleeping soundly in bed, made me miss my own bed. Those double shifts are definitely reminding me that I'm due to some workout." I mentally raised an eyebrow. Workout? With that Greek-god like body? _You got to be kidding me. _

Before he opens the door, he turned back to face me. "Thank you for inviting me to a wonderful dinner. Don't forget to share that recipe of yours."

"You're welcome. It's the least I can do to show my gratitude of you saving my son from getting hit by a motorcycle this afternoon."

"I told you, I'd do it again." He said with full confidence.

I gave him a shy smile. We stared at each other for few seconds before he opens the door.

"Good night, Gavin."

"Good night, Ana. Be sure to lock the door after you closed it."

I nodded. And after one final wave and a smile from Mr. Boxers, I closed and door locked it. Part of me is relieved that he decided to call it a night. But, also, small part of me is a bit disappointed that we weren't able to talk more. _Small part? Be honest, Steele._

I sighed. What am I doing? Why am I feeling like this?

Deciding to just leave those questions unanswered for now, I made my way to the bath to clean up then curled up on the couch with a Jane Austen book.

* * *

_"What are you doing here, Christian?"_

_"Ana, I came here because I would like to let you know that even though I signed those separation papers, I am not giving up, I will fight for you, for us." He steps closer, and I took a step back. "I love you, I will do everything to get you back. I will make everything right."_

_I didn't say anything, but I kept my head help up high._

_"I miss you so much, and Ted. You two are my world. Since the day you left," he closed his eyes for a moment before he continued, "I couldn't function anymore. You're all I think about."_

_He looked disheveled and hasn't shaved for days. Oh fifty._

_No. He did this. Not me. I need to be strong._

_"I fucked up, big time. I'm so sorry. I don't want to lose you. Please just give me chance. You're the only one for me Ana, no one else. Only you."_


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry again it took me few days to update. Had a long weekend 'cause of the Chinese New Year celebration. But I'm not Chinese :P . Anyway, I would like to clarify this, **I AM AN FSOG fan**. I love the book, not the best BDSM story but it was ok and I loveee the characters. I won't be writing this or even READING FSOG fanfics if I'm not a fan. So please stop assuming I am not one. and** I do not HATE CG**. I wrote a long note back at chapter 1 explaining what I'm going to do with the story. If you took the time to read it but did not like it, **THANK YOU, move on and find another story,** as simple as that. I **respect** all your reviews/comments/suggestions. I did say **POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE REVIEWS**. Negative, about the story itself not what I like and what I hate. Don't make any assumptions. It's kinda rude and discouraging. I now understand why some stories were stopped because the writers doesn't feel like continuing the story anymore. I am saying this to prevent more assumptions coming. Not just for me and this story but also for **other writers out there**.

And to make my other readers **happy**, I am going to change their apartment to 2 bedrooms. *_So Ana can also bring home a guy and have some privacy right? hihihi_* - NOT A SPOILER x

So thats it. I hope I made everything clear. **AGAIN MASSIVE THANKS** to all reviews,follows and favorites. And to those **Guest** reviewers who were very supportive and gave kind words. Thanks much!

Sorry again for the mistakes!

* * *

Friday morning went by smoothly. More YA books were sold and I'm sure Al will be calling for another set of deliveries for these books next week. Maybe I should start writing a story about a teenage wolf that fell in love with a teenage vampire who's actually in love with a wizard who had a one night stand with the teenage wolf. A very complicated love triangle that will surely sweep every teen or even adult readers off their feet. I'll definitely make my first million after a few months of this story being released.

Anastasia Rose Steele, New York Times Bestseller. _What a joke._

I laughed at that thought. Nah, I am not cut for that thing. I would love to write a book, maybe someday but not right now. I've got to think about my son first_. Ted_. Despite of me being satisfied with where we are right now, everything is just temporary. I need to focus on his future. I need to give him all the stuff that he deserves. He's my life now. So I'll do everything to make him happy.

I'll start with the search of our new home. I need to start making calls to ask information about the apartments that I saw online. Then a stable job. I enjoy working at Al's, but in 3 months, Jenny , who gave birth to a baby girl just 2 weeks ago, will be back to resume her job as Al's help at the bookstore. And that's my job, at this moment of course. I am just a temporary replacement 'cause Al can't do everything on his own. I unintentionally heard their conversation about finding a temporary replacement when I was buying something at the bookstore one morning. I thought about it as a good opportunity to start building up my self confidence in working again. So the next day I talked to Al about applying for the job. And he gladly accepted me and asked if I could start in 3 days.

_It's alright, everything's going to be alright. You can do this, Steele. _

I just got back from lunch break when my phone rings. I glanced at the screen, _Kate._

"Hey." I tried to sound cheerful but I guess I failed.

"What is that tone, Steele? Don't you even miss me?" She said with a bit of hurt in her voice.

"Of course I do! Stop being over dramatic, Kavanaugh." I roll my eyes.

"Well, you sound like you're not so happy to hear from me." I can tell she's pouting from the other line. Crap. Crap. Crap. How could I forget?

"No, it's just that, I've been kinda busy these past few days that I completely forgot about the plans this weekend." Get ready for the Kavanaugh Inquisition. _Its Grey now, remember?_

"Oh. Busy with what exactly? I know you've just started your temp job at a bookstore, you told me few days ago. But I don't think that would actually make you forget about Ted's monthly visit to his father." She said giving me that reporter voice that works all the time. Oh, she's good. How did she know I've been distracted by something other than work? _More like someone._

I don't like to admit it, but yes, I totally forgot that Kate's coming to pick Teddy up tomorrow to spend the weekend with his father and the Greys. _Because you can't stop thinking about a certain someone_. Geez, not that really, well yeah that's half true. But also because of that small accident yesterday. _Yeah right_.

It's part of the divorce settlement that Ted would spend 1 weekend every month with his father. I know I've not been the perfect mother to Ted, and the last thing I want for him is to grow up without a dad. And even after what happened to my marriage with his dad, I won't take their right to see and spend time with each other.

Kate or Elliot would always come along with the security to get Ted. They're really close to him. So I guess they don't want Teddy to get bored or be alone with the security during the ride to Seattle. And because of that, I couldn't love them even more.

I sighed. I guess giving her a bit of information would feed her curiosity for now. "It's Ted. He almost got hit by a motorcycle yesterday."

"WHAT? Is he okay? What happened?"

"Yes, he's perfectly fine. No bruises or injuries. We were heading for lunch when suddenly a motorcycle lost its control and went straight to where we were standing on the sidewalk." I saw a couple entered the bookstore. "Good thing a police officer was just nearby and was able to grab Ted before he got hit."

"Thank god, nothing bad happened. How's Ted? Was he scared? Does he remember what happened?"

"No, thankfully, no. He was so preoccupied with the puppy he found while we were walking so didn't notice the accident."

"That's a relief. And thanks to that officer who saved Ted. The street these days aren't that safe anymore."

"Yeah, I'm going to be extra careful now, and I won't let Ted out of my sight. I've never been so worried and terrified at the same time in my life like I did yesterday."

We continued to talk briefly about the time that she's going to reach Portland using Charlie Tango. It's the fastest way to get to Seattle compared to hours of driving. I gave a quick goodbye when I saw the two customers approaching the counter.

I smiled as I reached for the book that they were purchasing. "The Ultimate Guide To Anal Sex for Men by Bill Brent". _Oh_. I looked back at the couple and noticed that the woman who has a red hair is trying really hard to hide her grin. And the guy, who I thought was her boyfriend, looked so embarrassed and shy.

"That would be for $13.15." I quickly wrapped the book and hand it back to them.

"Thanks." Says the red head before walking back to the door. And before they made it out, I heard the guy say, "It was so embarrassing! I can't believe you made me buy this book."

I shake my head and smiled. I have to agree with him. I don't think I have the guts to buy that kind of book in a bookstore. Well, there are other ways to buy those things you think would be embarrassing to buy in public. Like ebooks on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. It's not that I'm going to buy one or anything. _Really, Steele._

Thinking back with Kate's call, I still can't believe myself. I need to refocus. I am starting again and can't be distracted like that by someone I just met. _Well, Mr. Boxers is really distracting_. I don't know, it's just that I can't help but feel safe around him. After the divorce, my self-esteem really hit its low. I never felt like that before and only because of Ted that I told myself to stand up again and be strong. So I started to rebuild everything from self confidence to learn who to trust, especially men. I don't think I can trust and love any man my whole heart and soul again. I won't let myself fall for same tricks. If the time comes that I'm ready to fall in love again, I will make sure everything is equal—love, trust, respect and loyalty. I can't love someone more than myself again. It'll definitely break me if I let myself fall for the same trap.

_Yes. Stronger and smarter now._

When we got home, I gathered all the things that Ted would need on his backpack. He doesn't really need to bring a lot of things, 'cause every time he gets back from Seattle, he brings home boxes that are full of toys and clothes, which I am sure from his father and the Greys. I don't mind at all. It's all for him and I'm happy to know that they really care for my son.

Kate arrives early morning the next day. She's still that as gorgeous as ever with that now longer strawberry blonde hair. Even after having Ava, she never gained extra weight. And motherhood gave her more glow and beauty. Even if we're not sisters-in-law anymore, she's still my bestfriend and will always be.

As much as Kate wanted to stay longer and chat more, they needed to get going to reach Seattle before lunch. "Ana, we need to go out the next time I'm here, I'll bring Elliot next month to get Ted and I'll stay the whole weekend with you. How's that?"

"That would be wonderful, Kate. I can't wait to catch up with you. I missed you too..." And with one final hug and a kiss from Ted, and they're off.

* * *

The bookstore is open only until 1pm on Saturdays and closed on Sundays. So I have the whole afternoon for myself. I decided to go try and see the new bakeshop just a block from the bookstore. Maybe I could try a few cakes or cookies that Ted would love and I'll show him as soon as he comes back.

When I reached the bakeshop there were only few tables left. I'm so glad to come here early. This place is sure packed on a Saturday afternoon. It's very spacious and relaxing. I sure hope they do serve teas too.

I chose to try Lemon Meringue Cake and ordered Twinings English breakfast tea. Yes, they do have my favorite tea. I sat down at one of the remaining tables. And after few more customers, the bakeshop's already full. I watched as the other customers left no choice but to take out whatever they bought.

This is what I enjoy the most when Ted is not around. Don't get me wrong, I love my son and I miss him every time he isn't with me, but after being married I never had the chance to be like this. Alone in a public place, being able to relax and watch people do their normal routines from afar. No security or whatsoever to watch my every move or go wherever I go. And do things like seat in this bakeshop anytime I want without waiting for the approval of someone.

As I continue to watch people, I see the two customers from the bookstore yesterday enter the bakeshop. The red head and the gay guy. Well, I'm assuming he's gay because of the book they bought yesterday. They were looking for a table when the red head saw me staring at them. I turn to look at other people so they wouldn't think I was giving them dirty looks because of yesterday.

"Hi!" I turn to see the two of them standing in front of my table. "The place is pretty full today, can we share the table? Or are you with someone here?" Says the red head. Oh great, what do I do?

"No, I'm alone. Yeah sure, I don't mind." I gesture for them to take a seat. Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to have some company.

"Thanks. You're the lady at Al's bookstore, right? I'm Tiffany by the way." I shake her hand and smiled. She looks so carefree and friendly.

"Ana."

"And this is Cameron." I shake his hand also. "Don't mind him, he's just shy and quiet and boring." She says, emphasizing the last word while rolling her eyes.

"Hey! I'm not boring. I am just embarrassed with her." He points at me. "You shouldn't have suggested for me to buy that book at Al's. I could have searched online and have it deliver to my doorstep."

"But you did not. And where's the fun in that?" She says trying not to laugh, but failing miserably.

"Cameron, it's alright. Don't be embarrassed. It's not that I'm judging you or anything." I shrugged.

"See? So stop whining and tell us if the book was effective!"

What? He read it already? I got to hear this.

"Omg." He says, his ears turning red. "Are you serious? In this place?" He says whispering like it's a top secret.

"Why not? That's why you called right? Come on now, Camy-baby. Spill the beans."

"Stop calling me that, Fany-honey." I couldn't hold back any longer so I laughed at how they called each other with those petnames.

"Sorry, guys. It's just that those names are too cute and it rhymes." I say still laughing.

"See, she loves 'Camy-baby'. Camy suits you fine."

"No, she loves 'Fany'."

"Eew. I hate that name. It's Tiffany or Tiff. Nothing else. Got it, Camy?"

"Fany. Fany. Fany. Fany. Fany. Fany." He says with an exaggerated tone of the letter "F" that made us all laughed out loud.

"Oh, god. Seriously, you two." It took us a few more seconds to calm down and I noticed that some customers were now giving us some dirty looks.

"Okay, enough of changing the subject. Did you do it?" Did what?

Camy sighed. "Nothing happened."

"What? What happened? Didn't the book told you how to do it the first time?" Oh I think I get what they're talking about.

"Uhm, is he...? I mean, are you still.."

He looks at me for a second then down to his coffee. "Yeah, still have my V-card."

_Wow._ I wonder how old he is. He looks 20 something but not more than 25. He has a short black hair and he reminds me of Keanu Reeves on his younger years. These days its kind of hard to find a good-looking virgin like him.

"Look, I can't tell the details right here. It's so uncomfortable and what if someone hear us?"

"Okay, fine. How about tonight over a few drinks at Bar 360?"

"Alright. The usual time?"

"Yeap. 8ish. You should come too, Ana. It's going to be fun!" She says like a 5-year old

"Come with us, Ana. I think I need a fresh piece of advice on dating. ''I'm so sick and tired Fany's raunchy ideas." He says with that puppy look and a disgusted face. How did he do it, I don't know either.

"Hey! They aren't that bad." Tiffany argued and if I'm not going to cut them off they'll be going at it again.

"Okay, okay, I'll go." I grin. And that made them squeal with excitement.

Tonight is going to be fun. _I hope._


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! I cut the chapter into two parts so I could post one today. A valentine treat for you guys for following and reading my story. **Thank you so much for the massive support** and all those encouraging reviews are giving me more self confidence to continue this story.

Hope you enjoy this one. Reviews are all appreciated.

Sorry again for the mistakes!

* * *

NIGHT OUT PART 1

I am dressed and ready for my night out with Cam and Tiff. I chose to wear skinny jeans and a short denim jacket over a white top then black pumps. I applied mascara, a bit of eyeliner and nude lipstick to complete the look. I let my hair fall down my left shoulder. I don't want to go over the top so I didn't go for a dress. I want to relax tonight and have fun. It's been months or a year, I can't remember anymore, since the last time I had a drink.

I am waiting for Tiff to pick me up. She said 10 before 8. She dropped me off my apartment after the long chat at the bakeshop. We're just going to meet Cam there, since he lives near the bar.

They end up arguing whenever I call them Camy or Fany, so I went with the safer names. Those two were pretty hilarious when they tease each other. This afternoon, I felt so relaxed and carefree. I've never laughed so hard in my life when they were telling me the story about how they met.

Tiffany was in the ladies room of Bar 360 when she accidentally heard Cam and his then boyfriend, now ex, arguing about how slow and boring Cam when it comes to kissing. The boyfriend started calling Cam names that I didn't even know exist, and even mentioned Cam's virginity when suddenly Tiffany pulled Cam for a long-hot-french-kiss. The boyfriend was so shocked then Tiff called him a beef-eyed-cock-sucker and told him to fuck off and run and beg for his Grandma to teach him how to kiss, 'cause he's the one who suck at kissing. After the boyfriend walked out, Cam threw up in front of Tiffany. The reason why he puked was that he had never kissed a girl before, and he find it, I quote, 'verrry disgusting'. Cam always exaggerates letter 'f' or 'r' whenever he talks. And I find it very funny. And since then they always meet at the bar for drinks and boy hunting.

They asked about me and I told them I have a son and divorced. I didn't give much details and luckily, then didn't ask for more. They didn't believe it at first, Tiff thought I was still a university student and I was like 'no freaking way'. They asked where Ted was and if they can meet him. I told them that Ted's with his father for the weekend and will be back Sunday evening. I showed them Ted's picture in my wallet and they said they couldn't wait to meet him and pinch his chubby cheeks. Cam laughed at my horrible expression when I looked at Tiff's pointy red nails. I told her a big "NO".

After a few more minutes, I received a text from Tiff saying she's already downstairs. I gave her my number so she wouldn't have to come up to get me.

Tiff's dressed for the kill. Short tight skirt and silver top with knee high boots. She's like Kate, I think everything she wears suit her perfectly. We spotted Cam on a table near the bar and make our way to the spot. I saw heads turning in our direction and I'm definitely sure it's all because of Tiff.

"Hey girls. Just on time. Should I do the honor of ordering our first round of drinks?" Cam says like a gentleman.

Tiff chuckles. "Don't get fooled Ana. He's never a gentleman." She said like she can read my mind. "I'm going for frozen margarita." Oh, sounds good.

"I'll have the same one I guess."

"So it's Frozen Margaritas night! Coming right up, mi ladies." Cam said making us laugh before he went to get the drinks.

"So, Ana. How old were you when you got married? I know your not comfortable talking about your divorce this afternoon. I'm just curious because believe me you look too young to be divorced and be a single mom." I sighed. Guess I can't really evade questions like this.

"I was 21 and just graduated from university." Sensing my discomfort Tiff gave my hand a soft squeeze.

"Hey, it's alright. I won't ask more questions about that topic, okay? So relax and we're going to find you a hottie tonight!" Uh oh. I'm not sure about that.

Cam's back with our frozen margaritas and after a few sips he started telling us what happened with his attempt in giving away his v-card. Apparently, he got so nervous that he freaked out when he felt his partner's tip on his ass. He thought that it was kind of big for him. So he asked for a few more minutes before they tried again. But then again, when he felt the tip on his ass, he ran off to the bathroom and threw up. When he came back to the bedroom, his partner was long gone. Tiffany was laughing so hard after he told us the story. _Oh, poor Cam_.

This was the first time that I ever heard or talked about gay sexual intercourse. Back in WSU, me and Kate knew few gay ones but never been closed with them and never get the chance to hear their sexual escapades. I feel bad for Cam. I can tell he's very frustrated that it didn't happen.

"I swear, I read the book all afternoon. I'm a total failure."

"Oh, god. Camy, maybe we should crown you 'Throw-Up Queen of the Century'."

"Hey, maybe you haven't found the right guy yet." I say trying to lighten his mood. "Your body will definitely know the right man when the time comes."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You may know everything by the book, but your body will know the perfect moment to do it." I say with a smile. Though when I lost my virginity it was in middle of a discussion about soft and hard limits. I was not sure if it was my mind or my body who decided to do it. But at that time, it felt so right. _Sadly, you were never enough for the man._

Stop. Stop. Stop. This isn't about me. It's about Cam and his v-card. And I won't let this night ruin by those thoughts. So I stood up and offered to buy the next round of drinks.

As I make my way to the bar, I notice that the place is really packed. And the good thing is that it's quite spacious so everyone has a room to move, dance or do whatever they want to. The sounds are all good too, not too loud, not too low. It isn't like other clubs where you can't hear someone unless you pull your body together and shout til you lose your voice.

I made it to the bar without any special appearances of 'Ana the Clumsy'. Even after years of wearing high pumps, there would be always that moment where I would trip or lose my balance. _Old habits die hard._

"3 frozen margaritas, please." The bartender nods and I look around while waiting for the drinks.

"So I guess you're new here." I turn to my right and see a guy with a mustache leaning in to my side. "We haven't seen such a beauty like you around here." Says another guy with a tattoo on the right arm beside him. I tried to move to my left but a tall guy who's barking orders to the bartender is making it difficult for me to move away. The mustache guy is really making me uncomfortable and he looks like he had too many drinks already.

_Stay calm, you can handle this._ "Yes, I am." I answered as cold as possible hoping they would get the message. I guess not, cause they just smiled at me like I told them they won the lottery. _Creepy_.

"Feisty. I like that. Let us buy you a drink, sugar." Says the mustache guy. Uh oh. Here comes trouble.

Luckily, the bartender comes back with the margaritas. Time to make my escape from these two creepy guys. "No thank you. I already have 3 here, so.." But before I could turn around, the tattoo guy blocked my way and now he's almost touching my bare shoulder. I regretted immediately that I took my denim jacket off already.

"Easy, sugar. Just one drink. We won't bite. Not yet." He says while grinning like a dog.

I could hear Ray's voice in my head about the perfect time to defend myself. The tattoo guy came closer like his going to kiss me but before he got closer, I kneed him in the balls. Hard. He stumbled back cursing. Take that asshole.

"You bitch!" I turn to see the moustache guy raise his right hand to slap me. It's too late to evade it so I just closed my eyes and prayed that it won't hurt that much.

A few more seconds and I didn't feel anything hit me, I opened my eyes and saw the mustache guy being pinned down face to the floor with his hand twist behind him by a man.

"Gavin!"

"You heard me, you fucker!? If I ever see your face again or that friend of yours, I am going to throw both of your asses in jail for sexual harassment. You got me?"

"Y-yes officer, ugh, I got you." And with that Gavin stood up and let the two securities help the two creepy guys stand up and escort them out of the bar.

Wow. Mr. Boxers in action, again. Too bad I didn't see how he took the mustache guy down the floor. He must be so fast that he got him on time before I got hit. I was so sure back then that I was going to be slapped. _1,000 points for Mr. Boxers_.

"Hey, are you alright?" He asks pulling me close to him. I just nodded. The adrenaline that I felt awhile ago is now wearing off and my knees are starting to shake. Gavin noticed so he wrapped his arms around my shoulder.

"Whoa, steady. I got you." I tried to compose myself but when he tightens his hold on me, his spicy scent didn't help at all and instead, it totally made my knees weak and I completely melted into him. "Let's get you a seat. Are you with someone here tonight?"

Somehow I managed to find my voice. "Yeah, Tiffany and Cameron."

"Ana!" I see Tiff and Cam rushing towards us.

"Let me take you back to your table, Ok?" He led me back to our seats then I heard him ask Cam to get the drinks and that I left at the bar and a glass of water.

"What happened? Are you alright?" Tiff asks with worry written all over her face. "We were waiting for you and the drinks then suddenly we heard some commotion at the bar and then we saw him holding a guy down." She says then points at Gavin.

I am fully aware of Gavin's right arm still wrapped around my shoulder. His scent is intoxicating and is really making me weak. _Breathe Ana, breathe_.

"I was waiting for the drinks when the mustache and tattoo guy started talking to me and asked if they can buy me a drink. They look creepy so I said no and then the tattoo guy blocked my way out and was coming closer to me so I kicked his balls." Ray would be proud of me. I remember the last time I defended myself like that was when Jack Hyde made his move on me.

"Way to go Ana!" Cam who just got back with our drinks.

"Those assholes. I knew they were trouble. The guy with the tattoo tried to hit on me and touch me but when I told him I'd cut his balls if he ever talk to me like that again he took off." I can't help but smile at Tiff. She's so like Kate.

"Here. Drink this first." Gavin handing me the glass of water. "You did good back there, your dad will definitely be proud of you." He says, giving me that panty-combusting smile that is surely melting Tiffany and Cameron's right at this moment.

"I really thought I was going to get hit. Thank you." I say and giving his hand a tight squeeze.

"Hey, that was nothing. You did the balls-kicking and I was just a back up." He winks. Then his eyes went from playful to dangerous. _Oh my._ "And besides, I would never let that fucker hit you or touch you even a strand of your hair. He's lucky I just twisted his arm and didn't break it into four." He says with that murderous look on his face. Surprisingly, I don't feel scared at all. It's the total opposite. When he was holding me in his arms awhile ago, I felt totally safe and warm. _Oh boy, I am so confused right now_.

"Thanks again," looking sincerely in his light blue eyes "you seem to be always there when I'm in trouble. Are you a superhero or something?" I ask making him laugh.

"No ma'am. Not a superhero. Just your plain new neighbor Officer Boyle, always on duty." He says complete with a salute. I grinned at him. _How can he be funny, cute and hot all at the same time?_

And before I could answer back we heard a loud cough that reminds me we're not alone. "By the way this is Tiffany and Cameron. Tiff and Cam, this is Gavin."

"You're an officer?" Gavin nods. "Are you new? I haven't seen you before. I know some guys down the station."

"I just moved here in Portland. And Ana and I are neighbors." He says, giving her a sweet smile.

"Oh I see." Then Tiff giving me that 'we're going to talk about this later' look. "And what are you doing here? Good thing you saw what was happening with Ana." Oh god, I swear. Tiff is the red head version of Kate. She's giving Gavin the "Katherine Kavanaugh Inquisition" at the moment.

"The other guys from the station were already here and they invited me to come after my shift. I was on my way to the bar to get a beer then I saw Ana, I was going to say hi and when she kicked the fucker's balls, I knew she was in trouble and quickly grabbed the other fucker's wrist when he tried to hit her."

"Do you want to go now, Ana? We won't mind. We could go out some other time. I swear if I ever see those assholes again, I won't cut their balls, I will tie them up and drag those balls at the back of my car." Tiff says making us all laugh.

"No Tiff, we stay. It's too early to go home. I'm fine. And besides we were just starting!" I say taking a sip of my frozen margarita. I won't let those losers ruin our night. I can't go out like this when Ted's around so I have to make the most out of tonight.

"That's the spirit! Let's go hurry up girls, after the third round of these sweet margaritas, we're hitting the dance floor!" Cam raising his drink up. Oh no dancing.

"Where's Ted by the way?" Gavin asked.

"He's with his father, he'll be back tomorrow evening." He just nods.

"I'll go get a drink and check up on the guys then I'll be back." He stands and I just noticed he's wearing a white v-neck shirt with a leather jacket over it. Good god. I won't be able to look at the other guys wearing a v-neck shirt the same way again without comparing how it perfectly fits Gavin.

"Go, I am sorry I am keeping you with your night out with the guys. You don't need to come back. Just go and have fun with them." I say giving him a small smile.

He leans in, and touches my left cheek with his knuckles. "You never keep me from anything or anyone. Remember, for you, I'm always on duty." He said the last three words in a very slow manner while looking at my lips, my nose then my eyes. And with one last panty-combusting smile he turned around and walked away.

Holy shit. I downed the last drop of my margarita and handed it back to Cam. "I think I will need more of this, please."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Here it is! Sorry it took me 500 years again to post this. I got distracted and couldn't put my kindle down because of this new read Grounded by RK Lilley third book from the Up In The Air series. Trust me, if you loved FSOG trilogy and the Crossfire series, you most certainly love this series too!

I really enjoy reading all your reviews. Please keep them coming!

Warning: If you don't want Ana to get intimate with another guy other than CG, then skip this chapter. But if you're dying to know where the hell is Christian, then do read this one!

Sorry again for the mistakes!

* * *

NIGHT OUT PART 2

"Ana, awhile ago we were talking about waiting for the right guy for me, right?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I found him. He's looking straight at me." Me and Tiff both glanced at the direction Cam was looking and I was met with those light blue eyes that's been shaking my inner thoughts for days now.

Tiff burst out laughing. "Are you already drunk, Camy? Unfortunately, you need to wait for your Mr. Right, 'cause hot cop there has his eyes only for Ana."

"Lucky girl." Cam muttered. Then Tiff turned her attention to me.

"Are you sure that you're not together?" I rolled my ayes at her. "I swear, if he keeps on staring at you like that, when were done, you'll be walking out here naked." I laughed.

"He isn't staring at me, so stop it. And we aren't together, how many times do I have to tell you that?" I say while sipping my fourth frozen margarita. It's making me a bit dizzy now. After this one I may need a glass of water. I can't get drunk seeing Cam's a bit tipsy now. Tiff may need help in carrying him back home.

Tiff noticed the worried look on my face because she grabbed both mine and Cam's hand and led us to the dance floor. "Time to shake our booties!" The song changed to 'We Found Love' and that seemed to wake Cam from his almost drunken state.

"Oh, I love this song!" He shouts and starts twirling and turning. Tiff bumps into me and start shaking her hips. I laughed and joined them as I try to sway my hips a little. I am definitely not a dancer. So I just followed their lead and let myself get lost in the music.

We continued to dance for few more songs. A tall guy started to dance with Tiff. And Cam seemed to be satisfied dancing alone. I decided to walk back to our seats when I felt more guys were starting to intentionally bump themselves into me. I was certainly not comfortable with that.

I went straight to the bar to get a glass of water and another round of frozen margaritas. I'm sure both of them would need some after 'shaking their booties' on the dance floor.

"You do have some moves back there." I hear someone mutter behind me.

His spicy scent filled my nose in an instant and made me dizzier.

"Hey." I turned and realized he's only few inches from me. "I definitely do not have the moves." Crap. He saw me making a fool of myself dancing._ So what if he saw you dancing like a fool? _

He smiled. "That's not what I saw. Maybe you could teach me a step or two?"

I snorted. "I'm afraid, I can't help you with that Officer. Cam, my friend would love to if you like." I said and smiled.

"Well, I was actually hoping for a blue-eyed brunette with very soft hands would save me from my dilemma of having two left feet." He leaned closer as he spoke. Making our faces just few inches away from each other.

"I'll try to help you find that blue-eyed brunette then." I am surprised that I could still say those words straight. His closeness was just making me dizzier twice the effect of the margaritas I had.

"I think there's no need to find her. She's exactly right where I want her to be." He said with a husky voice that made my insides clenched. _Good god, is he going to kiss me or not? I'm dying here! _

We stared at each other for a long moment. It's like he's waiting for my permission to do exactly what we both want to do.

Do I really want to? Am I just feeling like this because I had too much drink already? Or is it too soon for me to do something like this? Am I rushing things just because I'm feeling something whenever he's around? Do I like him? Does he even like me?

Before I get a chance to answer my own questions, the bartender handed our drinks and that seemed to break the 'moment' that we were having.

Gavin sighed and looked away for a second before he turned his gaze back to me and offered to carry the drinks. I can't tell if he was disappointed or not. The connection between us was there, no doubt a about it, but I just can't ignore those nagging questions in my mind.

We make our way back to our seats and saw Tiff was already seated and talking with the tall guy she was dancing with a little while ago. The tall guy looked so captivated by her as he listened intently to whatever she was saying.

"Ana!" She called as I took my seat and Gavin beside me. "I wonder where you went," and smiled as she took one of the drinks, "thought you were kidnapped or something, but as I can see, you're perfectly safe with Mr. Hot cop." She then winked at Gavin.

"Mr. Hot Cop?" Gavin asked with brows furrowed.

I just shrugged then gave Tiff a pointed look. She just laughed_. The witch._

Gavin then leaned closer and whispered. "I think I preferred the 'Mr. Boxers' than that one." I blushed furiously. Oh god. He still remembered! I tried to say something but he cut me off and placed a hand on my burning cheek.

"You look so beautiful when you blush like this." He muttered looking at me with those intense light blue eyes_. Oh my_.

"Mr. Boxers it is then." I said in a small voice. I couldn't find anything else to say to that remark. It seems that my mind goes blank every time he looks at me like that. It's like he's making a spell on me and I couldn't seem to break away from it.

Cam came back after few more minutes and realized that he was the only one without a partner beside him. Tiff said she would share the tall guy who's name was Mike, if he like. We all laughed when Mike stood up and looked like he was ready to run. And sat back down when Tiff calmed down from laughing and said that she was only joking. Cam looked a bit hurt but when I mouthed him 'the right guy' he smiled and turned to Tiff to tease her about things that would make Mike run from her too.

We continued to chat and drink for an hour half and decided to call it a night. Mike already went ahead because he had to wake for an early flight the next morning. We all kind of thought that Cam's teasing worked and that Mike was just running for the hills. Tiff said she doesn't really care if Mike won't call her after tonight. Gavin's right arm was permanently glued to the back of my chair all night long. It's not that I mind but it didn't help to lower the tension that was building up between us.

I was about to say no when he offered me a ride home but Tiff told me that I should go home with Gavin as she was going to make sure Cam would make it home in one piece. I looked at Cam and he does really need some assistance seeing he can barely walk by himself. I asked if Tiff would need help in carrying him and she just waved me off and gave a 'just go with Mr. Hot Cop' look.

I sighed defeated and waited for them to buckle up safely and waved them off.

Gavin led me to a black Range Rover and opened the passenger side door for me. This car totally suited him. Big black mean machine for a cop. _Hmm, very manly. _I watched as he climbed into the driver's seat and asked if he could put my seat belt on. I just nodded and can't help but get lost into his spicy scent. I loved how he asked permission first before doing things like putting on the seat belt. It was very refreshing. And it felt good knowing I can say no anytime I want.

"You have a nice car."

"'Nice' isn't the best word to describe this." He said gesturing the massive space inside the car.

I giggled. "It's 'nice and big' then." I could feel my eyelids slowly getting heavy.

"Then just close your eyes and enjoy the big and nice ride, Ok?" He whispered and I felt him kissed the top of my head before my eyes totally closed.

I felt being lifted and carried out as I try to open my eyes. I must be really tired to fall asleep in the car. I heard the elevator doors opened and Gavin stepped inside with me still in his arms.

"Hey, I can walk now."

"Are you sure? Don't you feel a bit dizzy?"

"Yeah. It's Ok. I think I can manage a few steps to make it to the apartment without tripping. And I'm a bit heavy—"

"Oh, I assure you, I could run a hundred miles with you in my arms and can still kick some ass."

I laughed and smacked him playfully in the chest. "Okay, superman, I believe you. But I'm fine really. You can put me down now." He did but kept firm hand on my waist.

We walked out of the lift a few seconds later and make our way to my apartment. He waited until I could unlock the door. I don't know if I should invite him inside or not. Right now, I am too tired to have an inner war whether what I am doing is right or wrong.

"Ana." Gavin breaking the silence between us. "Do you mind if I could cook you breakfast for tomorrow? I am sure with all the margaritas you had tonight, you'll be nursing a bad headache when you wake up in the morning."

"Who would say no to that? Thank you, that would be wonderful, Gavin." I said and smiled sweetly at him.

As I looked him in the eyes I saw him staring intently at my lips and before I knew it, he has me pinned on the door and covered my mouth with his in a hungry kiss. After a few seconds of being stunned, I found myself kissing him back. His mouth was so warm, the caress of his lips softer than I could have imagined. He tasted tentatively with his tongue and then I felt him bit my lower lip.

"Ana…" I opened my eyes as he brought our foreheads together and ran his nose along mine. "I am not sorry that I kissed you, but I am sorry I lost myself control when you smiled that sweet smile of yours." He opened his eyes and traced my bottom lip with his fingers. "You have the softest and sweetest lips I ever tasted in my whole life." I was lost in words and didn't know what to say. So I just grasped his front shirt with both hands.

We stared at each other for a long moment. And after he gave me a long kiss in the forehead, he stood back and opened the door to my apartment. He motioned me to step inside and before he turned around "Breakfast. Tomorrow." He said then walked away.

After closing and locking the door, I closed my eyes and touched my lips. _Oh. My. God._

* * *

"Christian, what are these?" I said gesturing around my office.

"Flowers. All for you, my love." He said giving me that mega watt smile.

"I know they are flowers. But why too many of them? I don't need all this."

"I am willing to give everything I have. Even if I have to buy all the flowers in the world just to get your attention, I will do it."

"You can't buy my forgiveness with flowers, Christian." I crossed my arms and watched him twitch at the sound of my voice.

"Ana. I'm not buying you're forgiveness. I would never do that."

He stepped closer and kneeled down in front of me.

"What are you doing?"

"I will give up everything I have right now just to get you back. I will do everything to show you how much I am sorry and how much I love you baby." I could see he was trying to fight back the tears forming in his eyes. "If you're not yet ready to hear what I have to say, I will wait. Even if it takes a lifetime. I will wait."

* * *

I woke up with loud knocks on my door. I groaned and glanced at the clock. _7am_. _Who the hell?_

I closed my eyes and I wasn't surprised that I have a pounding headache.

I quickly grabbed my robe and wrapped it around myself. I didn't bother to look at the mirror or brush my hair as I make my way to the door. I couldn't remember if I was expecting someone early Sunday morning. Then it hit me. _Gavin!_

It was now too late to go back to the bedroom and fix myself. So I just prayed that I don't look that bad as I opened the door.

"Gav—" I stopped when I recognized that it wasn't Gavin who was standing outside the door.

"Anastasia." I just stood there and looked at the person that I never expected to see so soon after a year.

"Christian."

* * *

A/N: I hope I did ok with the kiss. Let me know what you think of this chapter! All reviews are appreciated. Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

"Christian."

From the very first time I looked into those piercing grey eyes, I knew that was it. He got me. He was the person I thought I would be spending my whole life with. I gave him my all. I did everything to be what he deserved. I was willing to do everything as he pleased. With just one look, he could make me bend to his will. But now as I looked straight into those grey eyes, it just made remember the things that broke us apart. Scratch that, the things he did that broke us apart.

"What are you doing here?"

"Good morning to you, too." He said in a polite tone.

"You didn't answer my question. And where's Teddy?"

"Aren't you going to invite me in first?" What was he playing?

"No. Unless you tell me what the hell are you doing in front of my doorstep at this hour? And where's my son?"

He smirked. _The nerve!_ "That smart mouth of yours never changed, huh?"

I closed my eyes. A hangover plus a smirking Christian Grey in an early Sunday morning wasn't a good combination to wake up.

What was he doing here? I didn't see this coming. All I wanted to do right now was to curl up in bed to nurse this hangover. Oh shoot. Maybe Kate told him about the incident with Ted. _KATE!_ This is going to be a fight. I wasn't even ready to face him yet. He hasn't changed a bit. He was wearing his signature button down shirt, top two buttons undone and the way those pants hang from his hips. And his just-fucked hair. All the same. Christian.

As I opened my eyes and expecting a raging fifty, I saw different. He was just standing there and looking at me like he just found a lost treasure. _Don't fall for the trap, Steele. You know better._

So, I joined the staring contest. He looked just like a lost boy. _My lost boy_. NO! If I was the same Ana a year ago, I would definitely lose it and wrapped him in my arms and assure him that everything's going to be fine. But I'm stronger now. I worked so hard to build my old myself again. After I found out of what he did, I thought my world was over. I became miserable, couldn't eat or sleep. I blamed myself for not being the perfect wife. For not being enough to tend to his every need. I pushed everyone away. Even my family and Kate.

But one day I just snapped out of it. Teddy woke up in the middle of the night crying. I tried to calm and comfort him but he just pushed me away and said that I didn't love him anymore, that he was all alone and that no one loved him except for his favorite toy at that time, Mr. Parker a stuffed lion. It was like he punched me right in the face. It broke my heart into pieces as if it's not already broken. I felt so guilty seeing my boy like that, and knowing that I was part of the reason why he was hurting. And so even if he kept on screaming and kicking, I hugged him tight and told him a hundred times that I love him and that I was sorry for being such a failure as a mother. We stayed glued to each other until he fell asleep. And the next morning, I did what I needed to do. I filed for divorce.

Christian was the first one to look away and sighed. "Teddy had a tantrum last night while we were watching his movie Madagascar and said he wanted to go to the zoo. I told him that we're going today but he said he wanted you to come with us." He was watching me carefully waiting for some kind of reaction but I just nodded for him to continue. "I tried everything I can to make excuses that you can't make it but he was having none of it. So I told him I was going to ask you first if you wanted to join and that seemed to calm him down. I called mom so she can call Kate to inform you about Ted's tantrum. But after half an hour, Kate called Mom back and said that you were not answering your phone. And she just left a few texts so you could call back." My phone! I am guessing it was on silent mode and I forgot to check it when I got back home.

"I got so worried when after midnight there was still no response from you. God, Ana." He said closing his eyes and running his hand through his copper hair. "We flew here first thing in the morning. I needed to check if you were alright. Where were you last night? Did you go out? What time did you go home?" He asked. His tone was accusatory so I didn't stop myself from raising an eyebrow.

How dare him asked with that kind of tone? He won't get an answer until I got all mine answered. "So, where's Ted?"

He flinched at the tone of my voice. "At the Heathman. He's with Sawyer eating breakfast. He was so busy eating yogurt that he didn't even glance at me when I said that I was coming here."

I nodded. "Can you call Sawyer? I'd like to talk to my son."

He frowned and I could see he wasn't happy that I didn't answer any of his questions. He was about to say something but I hold up my hand to stop him. "Christian, I don't want to be rude but you went here uninvited early in the morning and I have a hangover headache that I just want to get rid off right now. So don't expect me to do things your way and don't expect me to answer your questions like I've done something wrong last night."

And that seemed to hit him in the face. He looked defeated as he grabbed his phone and dialed Sawyer's number.

I looked down and just noticed that I was stepping on a small piece of paper. I went down and took it. It was a note.

_Ana, I got a call at __5am__. I will be running late. Be back as soon as I can. Don't do anything, wait for me. Hope you see this. - Mr. Boxers_

I almost forgot. I thought Gavin was the one at the door awhile ago because he's going to cook me breakfast. But I felt relieved that he got called on duty. I wasn't sure what would Christian think if he sees Gavin preparing food for me. _Another pissing contest, that's for sure._ And he seemed to be clueless about the incident with Ted, which was a good thing. He would definitely over react and go ballistic.

"Sawyer. Give the phone to Teddy, tell him it's Ana." Christian eyed the note as he passed me his blackberry. I grabbed his phone, careful not to touch his fingers. Before there was always that connection when I touch his skin, now I don't know if its still there. And I'm not interested to find out.

"Mommy?" I hear Ted's voice on the other line.

"Yes baby boy, it's me." I smiled my first smile of the day. Hearing my son's voice does all the magic to calm me down whenever I feel not so good. Oh, I missed him.

"Mommy! Go to zoo!" Ted said excitedly.

"Yes, I know. Your daddy told me. Listen, Teddy, mommy's not feeling well this morning. So I don't think I can come with you and your dad." Before he could answer, because I know he would be throwing fits I quickly added "But, I would try to rest for few hours then I will follow you in the zoo after lunch." I could sense that my baby boy was pouting. I don't really want to break his heart by not joining them in the zoo. But I wasn't ready yet to spend the whole day with Christian. Least I could do was to compromise.

"Ted, do you remember when Mr. Parker was sick?" That seemed to get his attention. He accidentally ripped his favorite stuffed lion's left foot and he watched me stitched it back for an hour. At first he wanted to still play with it even it was kind of 'disabled' so I made it as an example of being sick and that it needs to heal for a few hours before he could play with it again. "It's the same with mommy. I need to rest so I could join you in the zoo. And then maybe we could buy a Teddy Bear for you! Are you fine with that?"

"Really, Mommy? Buy Ted Bear?" Aww my baby boy.

"Yes, baby. So, wait for mommy, okay? And be good with Daddy. I will see you later. I love you Ted." I could see Christian watching me closely.

"Bye Mommy!" I end the call and gave the phone back to Christian.

"Ana—"

"Problem solved. Anything else, Christian?"

"You don't really want to come this morning? Is that how much you don't want to be with me?"

I sighed. "This isn't about you and me. This is about Ted. This is your time to spend with your son. So if I were you, you won't be wasting your time in here asking me unnecessary questions."

He didn't look convinced but he just nodded. "Your, uhm hangover, do you want Taylor to get you something? And breakfast?" Oh his love for food.

"Thank you, but I can take care of myself and cook my own breakfast." Its not that I was lying or anything. True, Gavin would be cooking breakfast today but I could definitely prepare something with or without hangover.

He looked dejected but said nothing. I could tell that there's something brewing in his head. "Ana, could I take you out for dinner sometime next week?" He asked with full of hope in his voice.

He knew that I was going to say no, so he added quickly "It's been a year now. I gave you the space that you've wanted. I am so lost without you. The divorce, it broke me. I signed it because it was what you wanted. I would have fought for you, for us. But you wouldn't even talk to me, hell, even see me."

The headache that I was feeling suddenly doubled the pain. I didn't expect to see him today and not so much of hearing what all he wanted to say. My life was beginning to become normal the way I want it. And there's no way that I would let him ruin it for me.

"Ana—" I cut him off before he could say anything else.

"Stop. Christian just stop." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I opened them again. "My answer will be a 'No'. No matter what you say right now. I am not yet ready to hear any of it."

His face turned dark, jaw clenched and his lips were tightly pursed. It's like he turned into his full CEO mode. "I understand. But let me tell you this." He took a step closer. "I will do everything to take you back and make you my wife again. I love you. And always will. I'll wait, Ana. Until you're ready to see me and talk."

I just stared at him. His voice was full of confidence like he was so sure of himself_. Let's see about that Christian Grey._

"Before you go, please do tell Taylor or Sawyer to meet me at the zoo entrance at 1:30. So I could locate you and Ted easily. That's all."

He nodded. "See you later, Anastasia."

And with that he turned around and walked away. I shut the door closed. I feel exhausted after the impromptu meeting with my ex-husband. And with a pounding headache, I didn't have the energy to go back to the bedroom. So instead, I settled on my couch and fell back to sleep.

* * *

_"Christian, why didn't you tell me?"_

_"Ana I was angry, really angry at that time. And you continued to avoid me. I was losing control. All the frustration from the failed two mergers added to the tension I was feeling back then." He closed eyes, tears streaming down his face._

_"And I can't do that to you. I know your pain limit. You won't be able to take it." He looked down to his lap._

_"After all the intense session with Claude. It wasn't enough. I need my control back"_

_"Do you love her?" I choked a sob._

_"No! Please believe me. No. I don't and won't love her. It is only you. My first and only love. Please Ana… You are my life and Teddy."_

_"I promise you. I will be honest. I'll tell you everything you wanted to know. Full disclosure. Just please don't leave me. Please Ana… Listen to me please"_

_I closed my eyes. I didn't know if I could take it. But if it there was still a way to fix my marriage with the man that I love, then I would do it. Not just for me, also for Teddy._

_"Then tell me. Everything."_

* * *

I woke up again from the sound of few knocks on my door. They were softer compared to those that woke me awhile ago. Oh shit. What was the time? I looked at the wall clock and saw that it was already 9. It must be Gavin.

I quickly fixed my robe and tried to comb my hair using my fingers hoping it would help to make me look a bit better. Geez, my head was still pounding like hell. I don't know if I would be drinking margaritas again any time soon.

I opened the door and my jaw dropped.

"Good morning sunshine." A grinning Gavin in an apron greeted me.

Holy shit. I didn't know a man in an apron could look as sexy as him right now. He was wearing a black tank top underneath and jeans so it was giving me a sinful view of his broad shoulder and bulging biceps. A tattoo! On his right bicep. It's an American flag that looked like its bursting out of his skin. I wasn't a big fan of tattoos but it suited him perfectly.

_Oh my god._ Just few hours ago, I met my ex husband after a year. And now I am openly ogling my hot cop neighbor. _Get a grip, Steele!_

I cleared my throat and smiled. "Good morning, Gavin. I saw your note around 7 so I went back to sleep. What time did you get back? You should've woken me up"

"Around 8." He said his eyes roaming from my messy hair to my bare feet. "But that's okay. I wasn't back that long. Hangover?" I nodded. "Thought so. Breakfast's ready in 5. Do you think you could be ready by then? So you could take an advil to get rid of the headache." He said with a hint of concern in his voice.

"I'll be ready in 5."

"Just go straight in. No need to knock." He winked before he walked back to his apartment. I couldn't help but stare at his sexy back.

Anastasia Rose Steele, you have a long day ahead of you.

* * *

A/N: Holla! No pissing contest, yet! Thanks for the **massive support**, especially with the last chapter. Just because Christian's now in the story, it doesn't mean that they are **getting back** together. We have a stronger Ana here, people. Keep that in mind.

Thanks again for reading! All reviews are appreciated.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Hey guys I'm back! SORRY it took me few days again to post this one. Blame my job! but here we go. I first wrote this chapter with the breakfast scene plus the zoo. BUT due to insistent public (readers) demand, I made this a solo chapter for the breakfast scene! **TEAM GAVIN** put yer hands up!

And don't worry guys, that **alien** guest reviewer didn't do any permanent damage because a lot of you **defended** me from that very offensive comment. and for that **_I LOVE YOU_** and a **MASSIVE THANK YOU!**

Special thanks to Guest Reviewers **Hallow**, **Autumn**, and **Just Me**. Thank you! I wished you would register so I could send a PM and thank you directly :)

and to SmileRose! ever been supportive from the start. Do read/follow her story Meet at Graduation: Remember Me? if you haven't read it yet, you're missing one of the good FSOG fanfics ever. :)

I'm in a good mood to mention all of you who are reading and supporting this story 'cos its FRIDAY! (**bottom page for the shout outs!**)

And again, please be patient with the 'cheat story' of Christian and the mistress. Like what I've told you, we're not focusing on that..

Again thanks for reading and keep those reviews coming!

Sorry for the errors x

* * *

Chapter 8 - Breakfast with Mr. Boxers

I quickly dressed and washed up in 5 minutes. I just pulled on my sweats because I really don't have time to dress up fancy. _Geez, it's only breakfast, not a date! _

I also made a quick detour to check my phone. _5 missed calls and 7 new messages_. 4 missed calls from Kate and 1 from an unknown number. _Another unknown number_. Next time I will make sure to check my phone often. Sometimes I just tend to forget that I even own one. I don't have time to read all the messages so I just stuffed it back to my purse.

After I gathered my hair into a messy bun in a lighting speed, I made my way to Gavin's apartment. I didn't knock like what he told me and as soon as I entered the door, the smell of what's like the breakfast he was preparing hit my nose. _Hmm, smells good_.

"Gavin?" I called out. Not sure if I should head to the kitchen or stay put in the living room.

"Hey there." He peeked out from a room at the far left corner of the apartment. "In here." He said motioning me join him. His apartment was very tidy and clean. Not so much furniture, just a white couch, a coffee table then a massive flat screen TV and an Xbox on the side. _One of his past times, I see_. There were picture frames hanging on the wall, family and some of him in uniform with fellow officers. All in all, the usual bachelor's pad.

"Take a seat." He said pulling out a chair for me. _A gentleman._

He already took off his apron. As much as I like the apron on him, the top that he was wearing didn't even hide his abs and muscular chest. Is that my breakfast for today? Hard abs and chest then he would add some maple syrup and he would let me lick it all over him. _Oh my._ **Hyperventilating**. Someone, I need a paperbag!

_Chill the fuck out, Steele. You're here for food not his body. _I mentally slapped myself for having such raunchy thoughts. I need a distraction. I don't think my ovaries would survive another minute if I kept on gawking at him. _Ovaries, seriously?_

"Tea or Coffee?"

"Tea. Black and weak."

"A tea lady, I see. Good thing I have both." He said winking at me. "Coffee guy." As he handed me my tea.

He placed a plate of omelet in front of me. "Smells good. What kind of omelet is this?" I say while taking a spoonful of the dish.

"Cinnamon Apple Omelet. My own recipe." He said giving me that panty combusting smile. "How is it?" He asked looking like he was waiting for the most important verdict of his life.

I tried to chew exaggeratedly while frowning then took another spoonful of the omelet. "Hmmm..." He chuckled. I chewed again then I licked my lips.

"Yes?" He said now looking at my lips. I bit my lower lip like I was thinking for the right word to say and that seemed to change the look on his eyes from hopeful to dangerous. Oh my. What am I doing?

"Doesn't it taste good?" He muttered still staring at my lips.

"Uhm, I don't think it taste good…" I say trying to get his attention away from where he's staring at.

That seemed to work because I have now his full attention. He looked like a child who got rejected in buying a new toy. How can he be both so hot and cute at the same time? Again, I have no answer to that. "It doesn't taste good because… it tastes heavenly and divine!" I giggled. It looked like a ton of weight had been lifted from his shoulder from my comment. "Now I'm totally impressed with your talents Officer Boyle." I said and smiled sweetly at him.

"Well, I'm glad you liked it." He winked and gave a shy smile. "Like what I've told you before, I had other talents that you haven't seen. And if you aren't ready to know those other talents, I highly suggest that you refrain from licking and biting those lips then smiling sweetly at me." He said giving me his most seductive heart-stopping looks.

I blushed furiously. _God have mercy_. I certainly don't have an answer to that. So I just continued to feed on my omelet and grabbed a bite of bacon and cheese that he also prepared.

How can a breakfast conversation switch from playful to lustful in just a second? I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I am definitely attracted to him. How can I not be? Mr. Boxers in uniform. A gentleman. Cooking. Beating up an asshole in a bar. The kiss last night. The list is endless. _And he's not overbearing and a control freak!_

I mentally shook my head. Right now, I don't want to think about Christian and how will I survive the whole afternoon with him. I'll deal with that later.

I noticed that we were both silent for a moment. I could smell the sexual tension building between us so I decided to break it up.

"I didn't expect you to be an apron guy." I say, settling on a safer conversation.

"Oh? Did I look like an idiot in it?" His brows furrowed. "I knew it, my mom tricked me and said that I looked just 'Okay' wearing it. Damn it." He said more on himself.

"Hey I didn't say that. I think you actually look cute in it." I flushed. His eyes lit up as soon as my words registered on his mind. I mentally rolled my eyes. _Cute? There were these words hot-sexy-steamy-edible-delectable-luscious that would actually suit him._

"You think I look cute in an apron?" He frowned for a second then asked "is cute a good thing or too gay for you?" I laughed out loud. His expression was just priceless.

"Because if I looked cute-gay in it then I won't wear it again, ever."

I continued to laugh. "Cute I mean, manly cute not gay." He looked relieved. "When I saw you at my doorstep wearing an apron first thing in the morning, I thought that was a cute sight."

"Okay then, I'll wear that damn apron everyday so that I would look manly-cute for you every time you see me." He said flashing me that panty-combusting smile that's doing a good job of being an alternative advil for my hangover headache.

"And I won't care if people would think I'm gay if I wear one, as long as you think I look good in it." He muttered, again more on himself.

_You have this Greek-god like body so I doubt someone would actually think you're gay just 'cause you wear an apron while cooking._

"I'm sorry?" Oh shit. "I have a Greek-god like body?" He said in a teasing tone while grinning. I blushed. Crap. Shit. Crap. Did I just say that out loud?

"Err. Did I say something like that?" I tried to look innocent but I doubt its working because his grin just got bigger.

"Hey you got something here." He said reaching up with his thumb finger and wiped something out from the upper corner of my lips. His thumb went directly to his mouth and took his time licking whatever there was to lick.

"Hmm. Cinnamon plus Ana. My kind of taste." He said in a very seductive voice. Holy fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

My heart just stopped beating. Oh my god. Did he just do that? I thought he was a cop? Did he also have a Master's Degree in Seduction? _Breathe, Steele. Breathe_.

I need another distraction. I noticed that he was also done with his breakfast so I quickly stood up, taking both plates to the sink. I cleared my throat before speaking, not trusting my voice in this kind of heated situation "I'm going to clean his up. You did the cooking, I'll do the cleaning."

I feel him standing behind me.

"Ana."

The two plates were easy to wash so I was done in two minutes. Not a good choice of distraction. At the corner of my eye I saw the two advils and a glass of what seemed to be an orange juice so I quickly took one hoping it would somehow help stabilize my heart condition at the moment. _It's a pain reliever, you dummy!_

"Ana."

I sighed. "Gav—" I bumped into his muscular chest when I turned to look at him and I lost my balance.

"Hey, easy." Gavin caught me by the waist. "You alright?"

"Yeah, thanks." I say looking at his neck. Now I'm trapped between him and the counter. No way out. _Good luck, Steele._

"Ana?"

"Yes?" I said without looking at him.

"Look at me." My eyes automatically meet his intense light blue eyes.

"Hey, listen." He gently cupped my cheek. "I don't want you to do something you don't want to do." He muttered seriously. "But I want you to feel something." He says while taking my right hand and placed it to his left chest. I could feel his heart beating so fast. Oh my. "Do you feel it?"

I just nodded. I couldn't find my voice at this moment.

"This is your effect on me." He's so close that he could do anything he wanted if he would. But he's giving the space, the choice. "The kiss last night, was heaven... but it didn't help to make me satisfied to end the night. I wanted more but I didn't want to take advantage of you."

His eyes roam from eyes to my nose then to my lips.

"Push me away." He stepped closer. _Oh my god_.

"Push. Me. Away."

Looking straight into his eyes, it's like I was being hypnotized by those intense light blue eyes. My voice and strength all left my body and I was frozen in that spot. And when his lips came down on mine, all I could do was to moan into his mouth. The kiss started slow and sensual. His tongue stroked my lips and my mouth opened for him. Our tongues met and wound around each other. He grabbed my waist and pulled me closer as I wrapped my arms around his neck. We got lost in each other for a few moments before he pulled away.

"Ana—"

"I am a divorcee." I say trying to catch my breath. But as soon as the words slipped from my tongue, he pulled me back again kissing me hot and urgent.

"I have Teddy." I said again when he came up for air but he sealed again my lips, his tongue stroking mine like he was answering me back with the kisses.

"I. Don't. Care." He said in between kisses. "And Ted's a sweet boy. I don't mind sharing my Xbox with him." He said giving me that boyish smile.

I gave him a shy smile. All those nagging thoughts and inner war just disappeared into thin air. Somehow he managed to break all my defenses with his simple gestures and he clearly adores my son. He didn't push me with what he wants. He gave me a chance to runaway from him. But I didn't have the strength to that. It just feels so right with him. Even if I just met him, I feel safe and protected.

"Please go out to dinner with me tonight?"

I smirked. "So is that the new trend these days? The kiss comes first before inviting a girl out on a date?" He laughed.

"Well, would you blame a guy like me if I was this close to a 'girl' like you and not do this first?" He gave me a light peck on the lips.

"That wasn't what you did a while ago." I said flirting all the way.

He growled. "Ana…"

I laughed. "Hey. Just kidding." I sighed. "I can't tonight."

"Teddy? We can bring him with us. What time is he coming home?"

"He's already here… with his father."

"Oh."

"My ex-husband gave me a surprise visit this morning."

"That's why you were up at 7am?"

"Yeah. Apparently, they flew here early morning from Seattle because Ted wanted to go to the zoo and he wanted me to go with them." I traced the tattoo on his arm. "I said I would join them after lunch because I have a raging headache and Ted seemed to be okay with that so…" I shrugged.

"Are you on good terms with him? Your ex?" He asked curiously.

"No. It was the first time that I saw him again after a year."

"I see." He said not pushing for any more questions about my ex. _  
_

"Can I get a rain check?" Perhaps I should give this a chance. I've never been with anyone after the divorce. Few men tried to approach me but it just that I wasn't really interested and ready in getting involved with someone at that time. _Don't put your guard down, Steele._

"Of course. Would Wednesday be alright with you? I am off today that's why I thought about inviting you tonight." He shrugged.

"Wednesday would be fine." I smiled.

"Does Teddy like burgers? Maybe we could try this new place that serves huge burgers and steaks just 20 minutes drive from here. I hope that would be okay with you." He said excitedly. How could I not like this guy? He also thought about what my son would like. _Another 1,000 points for Mr. Boxers! _

"Yes he does. That would be great. Thank you."

He beams at me. "Your boy seems to have a massive appetite. I swear, no other man was able to take me down in just one push. Just Teddy."

I laughed. "So, Officer Boyle does have a weakness."

"One of my weaknesses." He corrected. "The other one is this beautiful brunette who's standing in front of me right now." He said staring intently into my eyes.

I don't know how I could blush so much in one day. Mr. Boxers really does have his ways.

"You really look extra beautiful when you blush like this." He muttered gently brushing my red cheek with his knuckles.

We continued to just stare at each other for few more seconds when his phone started ringing. He gave me a quick kiss before picking up his phone from the counter top.

"Boyle." He listened for a bit and I could tell that it something serious. "Again? I'll be there in 20 minutes."

"Duty calls?"

"Yeah. They need more guys at the station." He said one hand on his hip and the other pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Walk me back to my apartment?" I say offering my hand to him.

He grabbed my hand and made our way out the door.

As we reached my doorstep, he pulled me to stop. "Hey, can I get your number?" He said looking like a nervous teenager who's asking a girl to be his prom date.

His expression was just too funny so I laughed out loud. "Oh god, Gavin. Do you always do things backwards?" And before I knew it, he has me pinned against my door again and his mouth on mine, giving me a hot and hard kiss.

"Only with you."

* * *

THANK YOU FOR READING! Hope you liked it. Team Christian please don't hate me! lolx

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	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Hi! Sorry again for such late update. I'm glad most of you liked the last chapter. It's my favorite one so far. lol x

This one's a longer chapter than the usual so I hope it's worth the wait. Thanks again for reading!

All reviews are appreciated. Hope you enjoy this one.

Sorry for the errors!

* * *

_"Oh my god." I gasped at what I saw. The backyard of our home has been transformed into a paradise. Flowers and colorful candles everywhere!_

_"Christian, you didn't have to do this. It's –"_

_"But I wanted to." He cupped my face with both hands. "You deserve this and more. You did nothing but love me and all. And I did nothing but hurt you and make you cry all the time."_

_"Christian—" He placed a finger on my lips to stop me from speaking._

_"You don't know how happy you made me by giving me this chance to make things right. I know I have to work harder to gain your trust back. And I'm willing to do just that, whatever it takes."_

_He's right. After everything that happened, it's not that easy to give all my trust again. I will still have those thoughts every day that he isn't at home and working. What was he doing? Who's he with?_

_But if I continue to doubt him, we will never get pass this. We won't be able to save our marriage. Right now, I just have to stick with my decision. I love him and seeing his efforts from the past month made me think twice about the divorce on my mind._

_"Thank you, baby. I will make it up to you. We'll start again and I'll show you how sorry I am from all the mistakes I made. I love you Mrs. Grey. Only you."_

* * *

I wasn't surprised to see Taylor and the black Audi SUV waiting for me outside the apartment_. Same old Fifty taking control again_. I wouldn't be also surprised if it was Christian himself. Old habits really die hard.

Taylor and Gail were like family to me and Ted during my marriage with Christian. Gail was very close with Ted. She would always be there whenever I need advice and help being a mother and a wife. And I know that even if she still works for Christian, her bond with me would always be there.

"Ms. Steele." Taylor greeted me when I reached the SUV.

"Taylor, how are you?" I say as he opened the back passenger door for me.

"I'm doing just fine. I trust that you do the same?"

"Yes, I'm doing the same, thank you." I buckled up as Taylor climb into the driver seat and we head off.

We were both silent for awhile so I decided to break up the awkwardness between us. "Taylor, how is Gail doing?"

"Gail is doing great. She is spending time with her sister today and will be back tomorrow." He said looking through the rearview mirror. "She told me to send her regards and is wishing you well."

I smiled. "Tell her I said thank you for taking care of Teddy whenever he visits. And tell her that I missed her and hoping to see her soon."

"Will do, Ms. Steele." He nods.

"So, Christian hasn't changed a bit, has he?" I sighed. "I told him to ask you to meet me at the entrance of the zoo, not outside my apartment." I said rolling my eyes.

"Yes, that's what Mr. Grey instructed me to do, Ms. Steele."

"Oh. Then why did you—?"

"I apologize for my actions, Ms. Steele. But I did this because I wanted to talk to you about something. And picking you up from the apartment would give me time to do just that without Mr. Grey knowing." I frowned. This must be something important seeing Taylor did move on his own accord.

"Is everything okay, Taylor? Did something happen with Ted in Seattle?"

"Everything is fine, Ms. Steele. I'm afraid this isn't about Teddy or Seattle." I felt relieved. "This is about the security detail that I hired to watch over you and Ted."

"What? What security detail?"

"After you left Seattle, Mr. Grey instructed me to hire a security for you and Ted to check on you 24/7. Knowing you never liked being surrounded or followed by the security, Mr. Grey told us not to let you know and just watch over you from afar. "

How dare him! Hiring security and not letting me know about it? _Vintage Christian Grey, Steele_. I thought escaping Seattle would give me back my freedom from being shadowed by someone. I was so wrong. "Why are you telling me now?" I asked not hiding the anger that was building up on me.

"Mr. Grey's instruction was to let him know if anything happens regarding your safety and to report him your whereabouts if you aren't at home or work." Report him my whereabouts outside home and work? _What did you expect from Mr. Stalker himself_?

"Unbelievable." I muttered under my breath. Oh, wait. "If you had someone watching over me, then he knew—"

"He didn't know, Ms. Steele."

"But why? You said his instruction was to let him know right?" Now I'm confused.

"Yes. But like what I've told you, I hired the security so most likely they report to me not to Mr. Grey."

"You didn't tell him where I was last night?"

"Yes, you're right." He glanced at me through the rearview mirror. This was getting really confusing. I know Taylor's very loyal to Christian, so why would he do such thing?

"Why?"

He sighed. "First of all, I would like you to know that I highly care for you and Teddy. Even when you became Mrs. Grey, you never changed from being the same Ana Steele that I first met. When you married Mr. Grey, it made you our official employer too but you never treated us like a staff, we were like a family to you, especially Gail." I nodded for him to continue. "Don't get me wrong, Mr. Grey is still my employer, but I thought it was very unfair to you to give him every details of your life, knowing you were trying to start again after the divorce." Oh Taylor.

"So, when I got the report that you went out last night, I just kept it to myself knowing that it was your first time to go out after a year with new friends that you just met. I also know about the small trouble that happened. The security was about to help you but someone else beat him to it. So instead, he went out to find the two punks that tried to bother you and warned them to stay away from you."

"Christian was trying to get a hold of me last night, but I didn't notice that Kate was calling because my phone was on silent mode. What did you tell him then?"

"That's what I thought. So, I told him that the security thought you were asleep already and didn't notice that you went out late at night and you came back home a few hours later."

I giggled. "Good excuse. He must be very mad last night."

"Yes. But that was nothing new, Ms. Steele." He grimaced.

"Thank you, Taylor. Please call me Ana. I don't know how I could repay you from protecting my private life from Christian." I grinned. "Though it's quite funny to think that you were being paid to protect him." I laughed.

He smiled. "You're welcome, Ms. Ste—"

"Ana." I cut him off.

"Ana." He nodded. "But if there would be threats to you and Ted's safety, I wouldn't think twice of reporting it to him."

"I understand. Are there any?" I hate to admit it, but I felt relieved to know that Taylor's watching us from afar. I'm still mad that Christian would do something like this behind my back. But when it comes to Teddy's safety I would do anything even if agreeing to have an unknown security. As long he keeps his distance from us. That would be just fine with me for Teddy's sake.

"At this moment, no threats or anything."

"That's good then." Though I can't think of anyone who would do such thing as hurting us, especially Ted. _Duh, He's Christian Grey's son, that's one good reason, dummy_.

I get that his father is a multi-billionaire and there might be people who were after him, but Ted's just a sweet little boy. Only evil would do such thing.

"I also know about the incident that happened last Thursday afternoon." Taylor muttered after a minute of silence.

"Oh, that. Does Christian kn—?"

"No. I didn't tell him. I didn't think it was necessary to inform him after digging through it and found that it was a plain accident. No foul plays or anything like that."

"That's good then."

We arrived at the zoo just on time. I think Christian wouldn't have the slightest idea of Taylor's little stunt and talk. It's a sunny day in Portland and I wasn't surprised to see that zoo was packed. We haven't been here since we moved, no wonder Ted's too excited to have a 'family' day at the zoo.

Taylor opened the door for me and I hugged him tight and after few seconds of being stunned he gave me a brief hug too. "Thank you again, Taylor. I am grateful that you're still trying to look after me and Ted. I got mad when you told me about the security, but not at you. And when you explained the circumstances, I feel much relieved and relax knowing you're there watching us from afar."

"You're very much welcome, Ms— Ana. It's the least I can do for the kindness that you've shown to me and Gail. And you deserve to be happy and I know that deciding for yourself is one of the things that make you happy." I gave him a shy smile. I knew it from the start that despite his steady and controlled appearance, he definitely was a thoughtful man.

"And I think that it would be best if you won't confront Mr. Grey about the security detail. He would know that I told you all about it." He was right. I can't jeopardize his job by letting my anger get to me and confront Christian.

Taylor made a phone call before we made our way inside the zoo. I guess it was Sawyer giving us their exact location. I still don't know how I would survive the afternoon with Christian. It had been a year since the last time we had a normal conversation. And his sudden visit this morning was still a shock for me. His timing was not really good. I could have been more civil to him if I wasn't having a hangover headache. And thank god for Gavin giving me a nice and relaxing breakfast. It made me calm my nerves and gave time to clear my head for this afternoon's unexpected turn of events. _More like a steamy breakfast with Mr. Boxers_.

I don't think Christian would be happy with the way things are going with Gavin. I know he was very possessive of me. But now it's not my problem anymore. We've divorced and we're living separate lives now. He can go thermo nuclear all he want but I wouldn't let him interfere with my private affairs. It's time to think about myself. I've always thought about my family first before my own needs. I made sure that they would be taken care of. And with Ted, I'll always make him my first priority but with Christian, not anymore. He would still have that spot in my heart as my first love and Ted's father, but that would be all of it. Nothing more. _Are you sure about that, Steele?_

This morning with Gavin was simple but intense. He wasn't discreet in showing his intensions but didn't push me to it. My body reacted to him and I couldn't control it. Not that I would want to control my body to push him away. I feel something for him that I couldn't explain. It's very liberating to know that I have a choice to explore this or not. His charm and sex appeal would never be a question. With just one look, he could stop my heart from beating. His humor and the way that he can make an awkward situation into a funny one, very refreshing. His easy going personality and he seems like a patient guy. He didn't get upset that I got a little drunk last night and was too happy to take care of me by cooking breakfast. _Plus 2,000 points to Mr. Boxers! _And of course his acceptance that I was once married and that I have son. How could I not like him with all this positive characteristics of him? And the bonus point is that the sexual pull between us was very natural. The way he kissed me like I was most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. He didn't go more than that. It was like he was respecting my limits until he gets my permission that he could touch me in an intimate way.

Taylor's voice shook me from being lost in my own thoughts. "Ana? Are you alright?" He asked with worry written all over his face.

"Yes, I am. I was suffering from a headache when I woke up this morning. But I feel much better now." Oh my god. What was I thinking? Here I was, going to spend the afternoon with my son and ex-husband and finding myself getting lost in thoughts about another man. I need to get a grip. I would be civil for Teddy's sake. I hope Christian would do the same.

"If you are sure." Taylor just nodded. "There they are, Mr. Grey and Teddy." He said pointing to the crowd and I immediately saw my son on his father's shoulders.

They were looking at the cage of tigers and lions. Teddy looked so happy bouncing from Christian's shoulders. He's going to break his father's collar bone if he won't stop bouncing. I watched them for few more seconds before calling my son's name. It was such a good sight to see Ted and his father together. Even if Christian and I aren't together anymore, I hope they're relationship as father and son will always be strong. Aside from the monthly visit, I also allow Ted to Skype with his dad every week. That way they could still be connected even if they don't see each other that often.

"Teddy!" My son turns his head in my direction and waves like there's no tomorrow. _Oh my sweet baby boy_.

"Mommy!" He shouts still waving.

Christian hurriedly put Teddy down and now he's running off towards me like a raging bull. I hugged him so tight and showered him with kisses. It was just a day since I saw him but it felt like a year for me.

"Hey there, baby boy. I missed you." He lets me kiss him one more time before he pulled me up and towards Christian who's watching us closely and standing just a few feet away from us.

"Come on, Mommy. Alex! Alex!" Teddy says excitedly while pointing at the lion. Oh his love for Madagascar.

"Anastasia."

"Christian." I nodded at him.

"I'm glad you made it. How are you feeling?" He said in a polite tone.

"Of course, I would be here for Ted. And I'm feeling much better, thank you for asking." I said in a kind of a formal way. I didn't mean to sound rude or anything. But it was the truth.

He just nodded looking like a lost boy again. But he managed to mask it with excitement when Ted wanted to ride his shoulders again.

"Hey Ted. Have you seen Marty yet?" The zebra from the movie.

"Oh, Marty! Marty! Daddy, go Marty!" I bet he had already seen the zebra but just wanted to go see them all over again.

Teddy's energy lasted all afternoon. He was all over the zoo, waving and talking with the animals. He was even singing his favorite lines from the Madagascar song whenever we go back to see the animals from the movie. Some other patrons at the zoo were even watching him and telling how cute Ted was while singing. Christian seemed to be enjoying himself. He was very attentive to Teddy. We managed to relax around our son. I guess Ted's excitement doubled up because Christian was with us after a year.

Teddy didn't have his usual afternoon nap, so I suggested that we should have an early dinner knowing my boy would be knocked out soon from exhaustion.

We went to the diner with the burger that Ted loved. At first I wasn't so sure of this idea of having dinner together with Christian but seeing my son happy like this, who was I to spoil his time with his father?

"Ana, thank you for joining us today. I haven't seen Teddy with so much energy and excitement like he did today." Christian said after we made our orders. Ted was now occupied with his new Teddy Bear courtesy of his father.

"You're right. Ted was hyper today. In a normal day, he should be yawning right now and would just settle watching his favorite cartoon show. But looking at him seems like he's still good to go." I chuckled. Ted's energy was infectious. I wasn't that really tired considering we toured the zoo like 3 times all afternoon just too see his favorite animals all over again.

"I hope you did enjoy too. Today was the most relaxing day for me so far after," He closed his eyes for a bit and when he opened them, I could see multiple emotions flowing through his grey eyes. Sadness, regret, emptiness and hopelessness. "after you left."

I knew he would bring this up. But before I could answer back, our food arrived and we started to eat in silence. Christian didn't attempt to start a conversation again. He seemed to be lost in his own thoughts all through out the meal.

After seeing Teddy yawn for the first time in the course of the day, we decided to head back to the apartment so I could still give Teddy a bath to wash away the scent of the zoo from his body.

Christian carried Ted all the way up to our floor. I did invite him to get inside the apartment this time. His eyes roamed around the apartment. I could tell he was just trying to hold off everything that he wanted to say seeing our apartment was pretty small for his liking.

"Christian please take a seat. Before you go, I wanted to talk to you about something but this will just be quick because Ted might pass out any minute and I still need to give him a bath."

He did what I told but when he tried to open his mouth to say something, I quickly cut him off by holding up my hand. "First of all, I wanted to apologize for my rudeness this morning. I was pretty shocked about your surprise visit and having a hangover didn't help that you woke me up very early." He just simply nodded for me to continue.

"And I would like you to know that you can see Ted not just one weekend a month. Maybe two weekends would be okay. Just let Kate or Elliot know and the same routine of them picking up Teddy from here to Seattle." I already made this decision since last month. I believe Ted would need to spend more time with his father. And seeing how happy and carefree he was today, I knew I made the right decision.

"Thank you, Anastasia. It means so much that I will get to spend more time with Ted. Every time he visits, the house feels like home again and mom would definitely be happy to see Ted more than just one weekend." He said sincerely and I know that he truly wanted to spend more time with his son. After seeing him with Ted today, I felt a bit terrible for limiting his right to see Ted. I know what he did to me was unforgivable, but I can't let my personal relationship with him affect his chance to be a good father to his son.

"And it isn't necessary for Kate and Elliot to pick him up. If it is alright with you, I would like to do it personally." Oh I didn't expect this coming.

"Christian, before I answer that, can I ask you why? Why just now?"

He sighed. "Ana, I know you didn't want to see me anymore and even want to talk to me, but all I wanted to do every single day of the past year was to come here and beg for your forgiveness. I wouldn't mind to get on my knees in front of your door until you agree to talk to me and a lot more ways that I was willing to try just to get your attention. But deep down I knew it wouldn't work, that you needed time and space away from me.

I asked Flynn for some advice of what would be the best thing to do at that moment. And he said that I did the right thing of not coming after you after the divorce. So I waited and tried to change myself so that when the right time comes, you'll atleast give me a chance and will listen to everything that I would like to say. But I guess this morning I was stunned with the way you looked. You didn't change, you were still that beautiful even when you just woke up. So, I lost control and messed up again. Plus the worry that I felt the night before when Kate couldn't get a hold of you. It all just mixed up."

I don't know what to say. I don't know if I should believe him or not. His expression tells me that he was sincere and telling the truth. But part of me thinks that it was all an act so that I would fall for the same trap again. _Are you sure he didn't do anything from the past year like contracting a new sub? Or did he come back to her and finished what they started?_

I closed my eyes and felt the exhaustion building every second. I can't think of this right now. He can't just come back and try to make things complicated again. I have the choice now and I wouldn't let him screw with my head once again.

"Christian, if you want to come and pick Ted up personally, that would be fine. But don't expect me to give you a warm welcome everytime that our paths would cross. And I'm not yet ready, and I don't think I would ever be. Right now, this is all I can give you, Teddy and his time. I am doing this for Ted's sake not for me or for you but Ted's."

I stood up and made my way to the door and opened it for him.

He stopped before me and looked directly into my eyes. "I understand. I respect your decision. You're doing an amazing job as a mother to Ted. I wish I could be the same, but I don't think I was born to be one. But I will accept everything that you're willing to give right now and I promise you that I would try my best to become the father that our son deserved. And I won't give up Ana. I will make it my life's mission to make us a family again. I love you and I will wait."

And after one last glance at Ted then back at me he nodded and he was out the door.

* * *

After giving a sleepy Ted a bath, it was my turn to lose myself in the tub. I think back of everything that happened the whole weekend. From seeing Kate yesterday morning to meeting Tiff and Cam in afternoon then the night out and the margaritas with some slight action featuring me and Gavin. The first kiss that I shared with him then the steamy, flirty and hot breakfast with Mr. Boxers himself. Taylor's admission of the security. The 'family' time at the zoo with Christian my ex-husband. And lastly the small talk that we had awhile ago.

I giggled. That was one hell of a weekend roller coaster for me.

My train of thought got interrupted by the familiar ping of my phone. It's from Gavin.

_Hey, you still up? – Mr. B_

Yep. – A

_Whatya doing at this late hour? – Mr. B_

Enjoying my tub. What about you? – A

_Whoa! Hold it right there. You're in the bath? Now I'm wide awake! – Mr. B_

LOL Perv! – A

_Hey, it was your fault! If you didn't mention the word 'tub', I wouldn't have such thoughts. Forgive me. – (just a man with many weaknesses)Mr. B_

Well you asked what I was doing, so its your fault. And don't worry. I accept your forgiveness, Just-a-man-with-many-weaknesses lol – A x

_Thank you My Lady. I assure you that I won't do the same offense in the future. – (gallant)Mr. B_

Gallant? Are you some kind of a knight? – A x

_If you would allow me, My Lady, I would like to offer my life in serving and fighting for you. I will be devout, loyal, courteous and generous. So please, My Lady, accept me as your Knight in Shining armor. - Mr. B_

Oh god, Gavin. I can't stop laughing here! I will give it to you, you are good at this knight thing. – (still laughing out loud) A xx

_I'm glad then. Do you feel much better now? I hope every time you laugh, you'll be thinking of me ;) – Mr. B_

That isn't hard. How did know that I wasn't feeling that good awhile ago? – A x

_I knew you had a long day and maybe I used some of my supercop power to detect your mood – (concerned supercop)Mr. B_

*sighs* I did have a long day. But thanks to a certain someone who made me mouthwatering breakfast and now is making me laugh out my lungs, I was able to survive the day. – A xx

_Wow, I didn't know that my mouth was 'mouthwatering' :p – Mr. B_

Oh shut up! *embarrassed* I meant the Omelet! – (hmp) A

_LOL I know, I was just kidding ;) – Mr. B_

Whatever. – (pissed) A

_Oh no no no. My Lady, I sincerely apologize for embarrassing you. I would accept any form of punishment. – Mr. B_

My lips will now be off limits. That will be your punishment. Can you accept that? – A x

_Yes, My Lady. I will accept it. :(__ - Mr. B_

_But I don't think I would survive living without it. So might as well take my life as a punishment, My Lady. – Mr. B_

Omg. Seriously Gavin! I'm running out of breath from laughing! – Axx

_Really? I had a BLS training, I know how to do the mouth to mouth resuscitation. I'm coming, wait for me! – Mr. B _**(*BLS- basic life support)**

Stay right there Mister! – Ax

_Just kidding. So, what do you think about my suggestion with the punishment? – Mr. B_

No punishment, silly! I was just kidding. I'm heading to bed now. Exhausted. – Ax

_Alright. Me too I guess. Rest well. Hope you dream of me. – Mr. B_

Gavin, I won't be laughing in my sleep! Lol x Goodnight – A xx

_Oh, yeah. My bad. But rest assured, I will be dreaming of you tonight ;) – Mr. B_


	10. Chapter 10

PART 1 Dinner with Mr. Boxers

After the roller coaster weekend, Monday seemed to be a normal day. I went to work after dropping off Ted at the day care. Even now that I know about the unknown security, I won't let my guard down in case something happens again like the incident last week. I can't let Ted out of my sight ever again. That incident was like a warning that small accidents can happen anywhere, anytime to anyone. I couldn't help but to look around and try to see if I could locate or identify the security detail that Taylor hired. But as the day went by, no such luck. Everywhere I look, I couldn't really find any familiar faces that could have been the team that has been following me and Ted for the past year.

But nonetheless, I'm kind of grateful to Taylor that he's making sure that we are safe. If something might happen to me, someone would be there to secure Ted. _It's still Christian's orders. He's trying to control your life again._

Christian didn't make any surprise appearances again. I honestly thought that he was on Stalker Mode and would just pop out anytime of the day. _Were you disappointed that you didn't see him again?_

Shaking those thoughts out of my head, I tucked my boy into bed. I decided to open the cheap wine that I bought on our way back home. It seemed that the margaritas had awakened my long lost appetite for alcoholic drinks. I settled on my couch to watch the rerun of The Walking Dead. This TV series got my attention since it's not about the usual drama that involves hospitals, doctors, teenage vampires or wolves, high school drama and other crappy TV shows these days. I do love some comedy ones, with the influence of Kate of course, like How I Met Your Mother and New Girl.

As the scenes switch from Rick and his group in the Prison to Andrea and the Governor, _oh I hate that guy_, my phone lit up with a new text message on the screen. _Tiffany_.

_Ana! – Tiff xo_

Hey, what's up? – Ana x

_How are you? Did you receive my text yesterday? – Tiff xo_

Oh shoot! I forgot to respond to Tiff's message yesterday.

Yes, I did. Sorry forgot to reply. Had an unexpected visitor yesterday and been occupied the whole day – A x

_No worries, its fine. So? Did something happen last Saturday with your Mr. Hot cop?;) – Tiff xo_

Passed out in the car. He carried me then but woke up when we reached the apartment. – Ana x

_That's it? Oh, no. Come on. Spill! – Tiff xo_

I swear, this girl is just making me miss my bestfriend more. I'm sure Tiff and Kate will definitely hit it off. _They'll make a great Inquisition Team_. I laughed at that thought.

Alright. Calm down, k? He kissed me goodnight – A x

_WHAT? Just a kiss? No wall banging and mind blowing sex? – Tiff xo_

Sex? LOL No. We just met Tiff. – A x _Wall banging and mind blowing sex? Oh, god. Tiff is just too funny._

_Jesus Ana. He was eyefucking you the whole night! – Tiff xo_

He wasn't. How about lunch tomorrow? I'll tell you all the details – A x

_Fine. We have to plan something or __Cam__ will make his move! – Tiff xo_

Seriously? lol See you tomorrow. Night – A x

Tomorrow's lunch with Tiff would be a riot for sure. Even though I just met her and Cam, I feel so comfortable with them. All my four years in WSU, only Kate and Jose were my close friends. I felt always carefree with them. I didn't have to change the way I was just to be friends with them. Ana Steele quiet and a bookworm, always in sneakers and jeans. They accepted me as who I was. And now, I'm having the same feeling with Tiff and Cam. I just hope that they wouldn't change once they know the identity of my ex-husband.

Before I shut my eyes to sleep, I notice one more unopened text message.

_On duty but can't stop thinking of you. Goodnight and sweet dreams – Mr. B_

The lunch with Tiff the next day was just like what I predicted, a riot. We had to keep a child friendly conversation because my 4 year old son was with us. Tiffany managed to do so and tried to use alternative words like "mating" and "coupling" that made me laughed like there was no tomorrow. She was quickly taken by Ted's cuteness. She said that he was so adorable and asked if she could take him home. My jaw dropped at that comment and that made her hysterical and couldn't stop laughing at my expression. Seriously, the lady was just not like Kate, she have this Hurricane Mia in her blood too.

I also told her about the breakfast with Gavin. But I didn't give all the details. She would definitely ask me again a million times why we only kissed and no sex. And because I don't want my son to hear details of his mom exchanging tongues and lips with another man.

She gave me few advices of what to wear to dinner tomorrow with Gavin. I told her that Teddy would be with us and there was no need to dress up like we're going to have an intimate dinner. She offered to look after Ted the next time Gavin ask me out. So that I could dress up like a siren to make Mr. Hot cop lose his control and enjoy the whole night without any interruption. I think Tiff's number one mission at the moment was to help me get laid. _Seriously_.

I also gave her a brief rundown of our zoo trip the other day. I was thankful that she didn't press for more details about my ex's surprise visit. Cam, who's an interior designer, wasn't able to join us because he was meeting a client. Whereas Tiff being a web designer doesn't require her to meet clients even at lunch time.

When Tiff begun to ask Ted about the zoo, it was a never ending babbling from my son. He told her about the all the animals he saw and even sang again the Madagascar song. _Oh Teddy baby_. The other customers of the diner were also fascinated by my son's story telling that they couldn't help but listening too and heard them say :Aww, he's so cute'.

I had to cut off Ted's babbling by asking if he'd like an ice cream, because if I didn't, I won't be able to come back to work once he's done. It seemed to work because before I knew it he was dragging us out the diner's.

It had been a long Wednesday for me and Al at the bookstore. Today was the release of a new YA book from a New York Times Bestselling author. Al anticipated that there would be a lot of customers today but I wasn't expecting that there would be a long line and the books were sold out. Al didn't expect it too, so now he's busy making calls for a new delivery of that YA book.

I was doing the last re-checking of the inventory when I heard someone clear his throat. _Another customer_. "I'm sorry but—" I wasn't able to finish what I was about to say when I looked up and saw a smiling Gavin with a bouquet of roses in hand. _Oh. My. God._ He looked devastatingly handsome in his signature white v-neck shirt and a brown leather jacket. His spicy scent was now filling the whole place and he's sporting a 5 o'clock shadow. Holy shit. I couldn't stop staring at him. _Steele, wake up!_

"H-hi." I managed to choke out a word before I could make a fool out of myself.

"Hey." He said flashing that panty combusting smile. "Sorry for interrupting you at work, I thought I could surprise you but I didn't know you were still busy…"

"No, it's fine. I was just finishing up." Good thing I was done and was just re-checking everything. "Give me 5 minutes."

"Take your time. I'll stay put."

I quickly cleared the counter and made my way to find Al. He was still on phone and just mouthed that I could go. I waved at him and returned back to the counter to grab my purse and jacket.

I found Gavin staring at the empty shelf of the book that was sold out today. "Hey, I'm good to go."

"You sold all copies in 1 day?" He asked looking amused.

"Yeah. Crazy right?"

"Beyond crazy." He said shaking his head. "Oh, these are for you."

I took the flowers from him and brought them to my nose. "They're beautiful. Thank you." I said giving him a shy smile.

"You're very much welcome." He offered me his left arm and I took it. "Let's go get Teddy?" _Geez such a gentleman._ I smiled and nodded then we made our way across the street.

We found my son in a deep concentration playing legos with his friend Jamie. It's funny to watch his eyebrows furrowed forming a "V" just like mine. _Christian_ _used to trace that often when you're in deep concentration too_.

I mentally slapped myself. I couldn't believe I was having thoughts like that.

"Ana!" Mury the head facilitator heading towards us.

"Hi, Mury. How's Ted doing?"

"Teddy is such a sweet boy. He's doing just fine. I can say that he's an aspiring singer. He loves to sing all day!" Oh, god. Don't tell me that song still stuck in his head?

"The Madagascar?" I smiled shaking my head.

Mury laughed. "Yes that one." She noticed Gavin and gave him a quizzing look. "Excuse me Mister. Are you Teddy's father?" She asked curiously but in a polite manner.

"Good evening Ma'am. Officer Gavin Boyle of Portland Police Bureau and I'm Ana and Teddy's neighbor." He said offering his hand and flashing that killer smile that should be banned illegal in public places.

I loved how he answered Mury's question without using the words 'Yes' or 'No'. "Oh, I'm sorry officer. Ana. It's just that it was the first that I saw you here so I thought…" Mury said blushing. Aside from being embarrassed I knew it was because of the man beside me. _The magical effect of Mr. Boxers._

"It's alright Mury. We're just about to get Ted…"

"Mommy!" As I was just to mention my son, he came crushing on me like a raging bull.

"Hey there baby boy." I say kissing his chubby cheeks.

"Mr. Boxers!" Teddy threw himself at Gavin.

"Whoa. Easy there Ted boy." Gavin lifted my son in his arms like he weighed nothing. He tickled him and Ted's sweet laughter filled the entire room.

"We're heading now Mury. Thanks for taking care of Ted." I said to the poor woman who was still under the spell of Gavin. I mentally rolled my eyes.

"Oh yes. You three take care. Bye Teddy! Ana and Officer Boyle." She waved goodbye and I just nodded.

"Do you need to get back to the apartment first?" Gavin asked.

"No, we're fine. We can go straight to dinner now." Actually yes, I want to get back first and apply some make up! Thankfully, I decided to wear a short silver dress with blue blazer jacket, sleeves rolled up and brown ballerina flats. I was just not sure about my pale face.

"Teddy, are you up for some big burgers tonight?" Gavin asked my son who literally bounced up and down in his arms when he heard the word 'burgers'. I would be worried about Gavin's arm if I haven't seen his buff biceps. _Oh god, those muscular arms wrapped around my waist…_

_STEELE_. What was I thinking? My son's just a few feet away from me and having such thoughts… Geez, what's wrong with me? Shaking my head, I didn't notice that we already reached Gavin's Range Rover.

When he opened the back passenger door for Ted, I did a double look just to make sure that what I was seeing was a booster seat that would definitely fit for a big 4 year old child. How did he get…?

"You bought a booster seat for Ted?" I asked in shocked.

"Yeah. I just thought that it wouldn't be safe for him to be in the car without a booster seat since the seat belts won't fit him." He said looking unsure.

I was speechless for a moment. I watched him strap Ted into the booster seat which fitted my son's bigger than a normal four year old body perfectly. Teddy seemed to be very excited for having his own car seat.

"Ana? Are you mad?" He asked in a small voice.

I just stared at him. How could this guy be more than perfect? How could he be so caring and sweet all the time? How could he think about the things that would surely melt my heart? How could he know that nothing would make me happier knowing that my son's safe and secured? _Careful, Steele. You don't want to fall so hard easily._

"Hey, look, I'm sorry. I was—" I took him by surprise when I stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you. I was just speechless for a moment. That's so thoughtful of you to think of Teddy's safety in the car." I say grabbing his hand and giving it a tight squeeze.

He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it gently. "You're welcome. Yours and Ted's safety is one of my top priorities now." He said looking intently into my eyes.

He opened the passenger door for me and helped me put on my seat belt before he climbed into the driver's seat. "Gavin let me atleast pay you back with the money you used to buy the booster."

"Why?" He said eyes on the road.

"Because you didn't have to go into so much trouble of—"

"Hey." He grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together. "I did it because I wanted to, so no need to pay me for that. It was nothing. Don't worry. Alright?"

We reached the Big Burgers & Steaks place in 20 minutes. We just listened to Ted's babbling and singing during the drive. I couldn't swipe the smile off my face hearing my son's cute voice even if he was saying the same thing all over again. He's just so adorable.

The place was packed but we were able to get a table. After placing our orders, burger for Teddy and steaks for me and Gavin, my son started his story telling again about our zoo trip. Poor Gavin, I bet his eardrum needed to be seen as soon as possible. I guessed this was the first time he got to listen to a boy's never ending babbling. Every time he looked at me, I just give him an apologetic smile and he just grins while continuing to listen intently to my son. Ted only stopped when his burger was served. Thanks to the distraction.

"I'm sorry. My son is just too talkative whenever he gets excited about something." I said a little later while we watched Ted devour his burger. "Actually, he's just like that all the time."

Gavin chuckled. "It's fun to watch him so full of energy. No need to apologize."

"Thank you for bringing us here. The steak is really good." Watching my son eat really boost my appetite even I wasn't that hungry.

"I agree. I knew this would be the perfect place for our dinner date with Ted." He winked then flashed his boyish smile.

Oh my. Even with that simple wink and smile, he could melt anything in a second. Including me. _Food, Steele. Eat your food_.

The conversation flowed naturally. He told me about his night duty the past few days. How he gets bored when there were no calls all night. And what they do at the station to get rid of the sleepiness. He said that there would be consequences if an officer fell asleep on duty. I couldn't stop laughing when he told me the consequences and laughed harder because of his horrified expression. I asked him if he enjoyed being a police officer, he just shrugged and said that it was his childhood dream to become a crime fighter. So after being in the army for 4 years, he went back home and served at SFPD. He then asked me about my job at Al's, I told him that it was just a temporary one and that my previous job was in publishing.

After clearing our plates, Gavin told us that there was a mini cake store just across the street and that we should try it for dessert. Ted's energy went from 100% to 150%. Oh his love for cakes.

We weren't able to finish the whole cake so we decided to take out what was left. I swear, I've never been this full for the past few years. No wonder my baby boy's already yawning and his eyes were already getting heavy as Gavin strapped him back to his booster seat.

Gavin carried a sleeping Ted all the way to the bedroom. After tucking my son to bed, I saw Gavin stretching out his arms and said "Your boy sure got heavier after dinner". I just laughed and closed the bedroom door.

"Hey, do you want some wine? It's just a cheap one that I bought the other day." I asked when we reached the kitchen. I wasn't sure if this was a good idea, but I do know that I really enjoyed being with him and I don't want to end the night yet.

"Wine will be perfect. Even if its just water, I don't mind. As long as I get to spend an alone time with you."

* * *

A/N: Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed the part 1 of the dinner. I cut it into two parts, because part 1 they were with Ted. Part 2 it will be just Ana and Gavin.

300 reviews! YAY! **Massive thank you**! _shout out to guest reviewer **IZZY x** (300th review)_ ;)

I love the reviews from the last chapter! So glad that the story has kept you thinking of so many possibilities and ideas.

Thanks again for reading! Reviews please keep them coming.

And sorry for the errors!


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Hi! Part 2's here. Please be **easy** on me, first time to write some "**lemons**" lemme know what you think! x

This chapter is **RATED M**.

As always, thanks for reading! And I love, love your reviews. Keep them coming!

Sorry for the errors x

* * *

PART 2 Dinner with Mr. Boxers

"What? He was your first boyfriend? Lucky SOB." I laughed at his surprised expression.

After a few glasses of wine and listening to Gavin's past relationships, I just thought that it was just fair to share some details about my one and only experience with love. We were relaxing on my couch, shoes off and half a bottle more of wine. Gavin offered to massage my feet and I was more than happy to accept it. His hands were like magic that helped me relaxed more mixed with the effect of the wine. And I know that if I was going to start something with him, he needed to know that part of my life and what he was dealing with. I didn't mention any names for now. It would just ruin the perfect night that we were having so far.

I learned that Gavin had 3 serious relationships, 1 unrequited summer love and few one night stands. His face turned red when he was trying to count how many exactly he had and I just couldn't help but to laugh so hard. I was trying to cover the sound of my laughter with my hands because my son might wake up. He said that it was embarrassing to share his past sexual experience in front of the woman he was trying to impress. And that it all happened during his army days. I told him that it was okay that it was all in the past and I heard the worst already. _Thanks to your ex's choice of lifestyle._

"Seriously? Were the guys from WSU blind or something? How can they not be attracted to you?" He muttered and took a long sip of his wine.

"Just so you know, I was like the nerdy type back then. Pale face, always in sneakers and jeans and I didn't even know how to put on some make-up. Thanks to Kate, my bestfriend and roommate, without her I wouldn't have a social life during my WSU days."

"Hey, nerds are my type." I threw the small pillow in his face.

"Liar." He chuckled.

"Not really. You said you were a nerd back then, and you are my type. So..." He shrugged.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Whatever."

"Really, Ana. No one?" He wasn't going to drop this, was he?

I sighed. "Jose, a good friend of mine and Kate, who was also from WSU, made a pass at me." He frowned. "We went out for drinks to celebrate the last day of our finals. We were alone outside the bar because I was feeling dizzy already, so he tried to kiss me. I told him I don't feel the same and that he was like a brother to me."

"He took advantage of your drunken state." He said shaking his head.

"My ex came and saw what Jose was trying to do. I drunk dialed him because he sent me a package that I wanted to return." His hands went up to my ankles working his magic.

"I see. He was your knight back then." That was what I thought too, a white Knight. But boy, I was wrong. After he showed me his playroom, the thought of him being a knight disappeared immediately. There was no need to give him the full detail of Christian's stalker tendencies.

I shrugged. "Then after that he brought me back to his hotel room, and that was the first time we slept together." His brows rose. "I mean, sleep. We just slept in the same bed. Nothing happened."

"I wasn't saying anything." He said feigning innocence.

I playfully slapped his arm. "It was your expression!"

He chuckled. "Okay. My bad." He held up his hands in surrender.

"And after that, the rest was history. We got married after a month of being engaged. I found out I was pregnant days after my first birthday as a married woman."

"Teddy." He smiled his boyish smile.

"Yeah." I loved how he just listened. It was like he was satisfied with what I was willing to share for now and didn't push for more. And instead of being jealous about my past experiences with men, he was even making a joke about it. Who won't fall for this kind of man?

His concern and patience for my son was like the wall breaker for me. In just a short time, he was able to create a bond with Ted. Usually, I don't trust people to get close with my son, but with Gavin, from the first time met him he was natural. It must be the bump.

"Enough about my boring past. It's embarrassing enough to let you find out that I wasn't that attractive like you were implying."

All of a sudden, he was towering over me and I was fully lying on my back. "Well, that was their lost, my lady. Including your ex. They failed to recognize and hold on to a beauty that's was hard to find like yours."

He crushed his lip into mine. I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed him back. His mouth was soft and warm like what I've remembered the first time he kissed me. I was getting lost in the feel of his lips when he suddenly pulled back and opened his eyes.

"And you're an amazing mother. Did I mention that?" This time he kissed me hungrily. I opened up for him and let his tongue explore more. He trailed his fiery kisses along my jaw, down my neck and onto my collar bone. I groaned as he started to kiss my sweet spot and rubbed circles on my thigh. Right now, all I could think about was my desire for him. I couldn't deny myself anymore. I've been celibate for more than a year now and this man just awakened my body's craving for someone's touch.

His lips came back to mine as his hand made their way to the side of my breasts. It was like he's waiting for my permission to let him touch me. I answered his request by deepening our kiss and wrapping my arms around his neck. He gently cupped my breasts and started squeezing them through my dress. I groaned as I felt his erection pressed against me.

His hands left my breasts finding a way to remove my dress. When he pulled up, I laid on my front and let him undo the zip. Once he was done unzipping the dress, I quickly removed it and threw it somewhere on the floor. He sat back and took his time admiring my underwear clad body. Good thing I chose to wear my new black lacy bra and matching panties.

"You're a goddess." His eyes heavy and filled with wanton passion.

He attacked my lips once more, nipping and sucking. His hands were back on breasts, one pinching my erect nipple through my bra and the other squeezing and massaging.

He pulled up once more and ran his nose along mine. "Ana." He bit my lower lip and looked into my eyes. "Please tell me you want this too."

I smiled sweetly and grind my hips into his erection and moaned. "You're wearing too much clothes, Officer."

That seemed to set him off. He let out a sexy growl and started removing his shirt. _Holy hell_. I knew he was well built but seeing his hard abs and ripped chest sans the tank top, it almost made me come undone. I ran my hands over his chiseled abs up to his chest and brushed his nipples with my fingers. He moaned and pushed me back down kissing me hungrily like he couldn't get enough.

"I need to taste you first." I could feel the wetness building between my legs as his mouth began travelling south, trailing hot kisses to my neck, down to my breasts and ran his tongue down to my belly, over and around my belly button. He then kissed my pubic mound through my panties and slowly lick his way down getting my panties thoroughly soaked from my juices and his tongue. He continued to lick and kiss until he had me breathing heavily. He looked up at me and licked his lips. That was so hot. He pulled my panties down my legs and started kissing my feet. He took his time worshiping each foot with his tongue. Leaning in he pressed a wet, open-mouth kiss on my thigh and trailed his tongue across my skin until he reached the juncture of my thighs. I couldn't hold back a loud moan when his tongue dipped deep between my folds.

"Mmmm," he purred against my delicate flesh, a low sexy sound coming from deep in his throat. "Oh Ana, you are so wet," His tongue traced the edge of my lower lips slowly, taking his time, savoring "and you taste so sweet." He continued the slow torture when I felt his tongue brushed over my throbbing clit. My body jerked and I sighed with the pleasure. His tongue stroked my clit again and again and soon I was writhing beneath him. Then he moved lower and gently parted my folds with his tongue skimming over my wet core.

"Gavin." I called out as I grabbed his hair tightly and pulled him closer.

He licked slowly through my folds again and again, swirling his tongue through them, greedily lapping my damp core. Then he sucked my clit into his mouth, grazing it with his teeth. I was on the edge of orgasm and breathing heavily when he thrust a finger inside me. My whole body tightened and I squeezed my eyes shut. He continued to suck my clit and added another finger thrusting faster and soon I cried out in pleasure having his fingers inside me and climaxed instantly.

"Oh god." I said while catching my breath.

Gavin continued to kiss and lick me, lapping up every drop of my juices. He then stroked my thighs slowly easing me down from my release. I closed my eyes and felt him stood up unbuttoning his jeans. As I was to open my eyes I thought I heard a small cry.

"Mommy..." Oh fuck. Teddy!

I opened my eyes and saw Gavin pulling his jeans up. "Shit. Ana, it's Ted."

I quickly put on his shirt, the first clothing that I saw on the floor and ran to the bedroom, Gavin just right behind me. When I opened the door, I saw my son seating up on bed clutching his stomach.

"Ted, baby, mommy's here. What's wrong?" I touched his cheek and then his forehead.

"Mommy... Tummy hurts... Pee..." My son said in between sobs.

"It's alright, baby boy. I'll carry you to the toilet." My son just nodded and tried to lift him up. But I guess due to my short 'exercise' just awhile ago, I didn't have the strength do it. Gavin was now beside me lifting my son effortlessly. We made our way to the bathroom and I wished that he had just a full bladder. This was not the first time he woke up in the middle of the night sobbing. There were times that when he forgot to empty his bladder before bedtime, he would surely wake up a few hours later with the need of going to the toilet.

And we were right. Teddy took his time peeing and after washing his hands, Gavin carried him again back to the bed.

"Does your tummy still hurt, Teddy?" I said while softly caressing his curls.

My son just shook his head no and I watched his eyes slowly closed. After a few more minutes, his breathing became even and I knew he drifted back to sleep. I looked around the room and didn't find Gavin. I guessed he went back to the living room while I was watching my son go back to sleep. I found him sitting on the couch.

I took a seat beside him and it just dawned on me that we almost did it! If it wasn't for my son's interruption, I would be screaming in pleasure now from my would-be second orgasm of the night. _With Mr. Boxer's expert tongue and fingers? Maybe fourth or even fifth._ I blushed furiously at that thought. I could still feel him between my legs. And the sight of that was... Oh my god. I covered my face with both hands.

"Gavin." We've been silent for a moment now and I don't know what he was thinking about.

He didn't answer. I removed my hands and looked up and saw a grinning Gavin looking very amused from my embarrassment. I raised an eyebrow at him. "You look so cute when your face turned all red when you've just realized that if your son didn't interrupt us, we almost had se—" He wasn't able to finish what he was about to say because I quickly grabbed a small pillow and hit his face.

He just laughed. "Hey, I was just going to say that we almost had se—"

"Gavin!" I covered my face again with both hands.

"Hey." He said still laughing. _The nerve!_

He knelt beside me and tried to take my hands off my face. "I can't believe you. You already know that I was... and yet you... You didn't have to say it!"

"Ana." He took my hands off me and put a hand on my chin and tilted my head up. "You don't have to be embarrassed with me, okay?" He brought our foreheads together and ran his nose along mine. "Especially now that I already know how sweet you taste and I could still sme—"

My eyes widened with shock and grabbed the small pillow and tried to hit him but he managed to grab me and hugged me to his chest. His shoulders were shaking so much because he was trying not to laugh hard and wake up sleeping Ted. He was clearly enjoying my embarrassment.

"Geez Gavin, I hate you!" I said playfully slapping his hard chest.

"Oh no, you don't."


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Hi. Happy busy Tuesday! lol I apologize for making you wait for 3 days. You already know why.

Thanks so much for the positive reviews from the last chapter. Overwhelming gratitude.

For the **new readers(guests)** who left reviews from the last 2 chapters, hello to you all! Thanks for reading!

To josiewhyte87, hope this chapter would cheer you up! x

**I love you guys xo **

AND LET'S PUT AN END TO SOME SPECULATIONS, SHALL WE?

Sorry for the errors.

* * *

_"Sawyer, GEH please."_

_"Yes, Mrs. Grey." Sawyer said as he opened the back passenger door for me._

_"And there's no need to call __Taylor__. I want to surprise my husband." Sawyer just nodded._

_I decided to give my husband a surprise visit since we were both working late tonight. I just got back to work a week ago and all manuscripts that should been finished 2 months ago were all being rushed because of the long time I was on leave. And Christian had been busy with this new deal with the South Koreans. He had been neglecting his business for too long now, in the effort of fixing our marriage and spending time with me and Teddy, that's why I couldn't really blame his busy work schedule._

_And now, I knew he needed some breather that's why I was planning to get him to have an intimate dinner._

_When we arrived at GEH, I went directly to his floor since there were only few employees left in the building. I wasn't surprised to still see some even if it was already 8 in the evening. __Like their boss._

_Andrea's desk was empty so I decided to just go straight to Christian's office. I didn't bother to knock since I was so sure that he was the only one inside. But when I was about to open the door, I could hear a small cry and someone moaning._

_I froze in my tracks. No._

_No. No. No. No. No. No._

_I knew what was on the other side. I already knew it._

_I should get away from here right at this very moment._

_But the masochist in me wanted to see it in flesh._

_So, I opened the door._

_And the sight that welcomed me was like a bullet that went straight to my fragile heart._

_Again._

_No words were needed to be said._

_So I did what was needed to be done. I slipped the rings off my finger and dropped it on the floor. Then with my head held up high, I walked out._

_This time, for good._

* * *

The next morning I knew I was acting like a teenager who just got kissed for the first time. I kept on checking my phone every 5 minutes, waiting if there was a new message. I kept on staring into space, then sighing afterwards. I kept on checking my face and hair in my small mirror, trying to see if my hair was not being a bitch today and staying in style. My face if the small amount of make up doing a good job hiding my pale skin. _Chill the fuck out, Steele. You're a grown woman, act like one!_

Eve if I tried to focus on my job, last night's events was kind of hard not to think about. _Gavin_. The dinner with Ted, he was so attentive. It was supposed to be our date, but he didn't mind bringing my son with us._ The booster seat_. My god, that must have cost him over a hundred dollars. And he was so patient and focused on my son's every word. _Who would have thought he was a man of patience?_

And then, the after dinner chat with wine. The way he listened intently and didn't bother on drilling me with questions aside from the number of my non-existent admirers back in WSU. He was so relaxed and honest when he was sharing about his past relationships. He did even blush in front of me. _He was so cute_. It was like he didn't mind sharing it all and that he was not hiding some shocking secrets like owning a playroom or anything like it.

And lastly, he went down on me. I had my first orgasm with a man other than my ex-husband. And what I thought about it? I can't stop thinking about it! Damn. It was all I could think about ever since he went back to his apartment last night. I thought that after experiencing the best that I could ever had, _Christian_, it won't be same with anyone else. But boy, I was so fucking wrong. With Gavin last night? Hell yes. His mouth? His tongue? His teeth? His fingers? Fuck, yes, yes, yes, and yes! I couldn't even compare it because it was so different. He awakened that long lost desire in me. I was so accustomed of Christian taking control of everything in the bedroom. Hell, everywhere. But with Gavin, I didn't feel being controlled, I didn't even noticed anything aside from him after my orgasm and when Ted woke up and stopped what was about to happen between us. I wasn't sure if I felt relieved or disappointed that it didn't happen. I was so embarrassed last night, maybe it was because it was the first time experience with another man. _Lesson learned: Don't get married right after you lost your v-card. Explore more with other male species to gain more experience and to prevent __future __embarrassment._

My train of thought got interrupted by my phone ringing. I couldn't help but smile.

"Hi beautiful."

"Hey." I said with my voice even. Surprisingly.

"I'm around the area at the moment, so I was thinking if I could take you out to lunch?"

"Sorry, got other plans." I said dead pan.

"Oh." He said and he added after a few seconds "I see."

The line went quiet for about 30 seconds. I was really trying hard not to laugh when he spoke again.

"So, uhm. I got to go. I guess I'll just…" I heard him whisper 'damn' before he added "see you around." His voice full of defeat.

"Gavin, wait!" I knew he was about to hang up the phone and I couldn't hold back my laughter anymore.

"I was just kidding!" I was laughing so hard that I didn't notice that the line went dead already.

Oh shit. Did I piss him off? I quickly dialed his number again but it was busy. Fuck. _You messed up, Steele. Good job_.

After the fourth try of calling his phone, the doors opened and a smoking hot Gavin in uniform and black aviator sunglasses quickly approached me behind the counter. He removed his sunglasses first before he maneuvered himself and now was facing me.

I was about to open my mouth to speak but he quickly covered it with his, giving me a raw, passionate kiss. He pulled me closed by the waist, holding me tight to his body. It was like he was making sure that I was going nowhere but in his arms. So I grabbed his face with both hands, and I felt his slight stubble scratch the palm of my hand. I opened more for him. His tongue exploring my insides and slowly, his kiss turned gentle and soft. I moaned into his mouth.

"I thought you've just rejected me." He said with his light blue eyes gazing down at me.

I was still trying to catch my breath but I managed to speak. "I-I was just kidding."

"Don't kid like that again, please." I just nodded.

"Holy shit. That was hot!" I turned around and saw a grinning Tiffany and an open-mouthed Cameron. Oh my god. They saw us! I blushed furiously and buried my face into Gavin's chest.

Lunch turned out to be another riot. Cam and Tiff decided to join us since they were planning to invite me and grill questions about last night's dinner with Gavin. They weren't able to ask the R-18 questions because aside from Gavin, my son was also with us the whole time. So they settled with the safe and child "friendly" questions like 'where did we go', 'what did we eat', 'what did we do after' etc.

Tiff made some weird eye contacts, like she was trying to communicate with me. I couldn't hold back my laughter when every time she tried to do it and Gavin looked at her direction she would act normal again and tried to look at Cam and start a conversation. I think Cam was still shocked with the tongue exchange that he witnessed a while ago. His face was all red and no doubt that he was a 100% virgin. He couldn't even look at Gavin in the eyes.

Tiff was a different story. She was like a reporter getting a snoop about the hottest couple in Hollywood today. She had like 10 questions per minute. Unbelievable. Gavin just looked at me all the time with clear amusement. She even snapped a picture using her iPhone of us while Gavin was holding my chin trying to remove some melted cheese in my bottom lip. She showed us the picture and Gavin told her he wanted a copy. Tiff said she was going to post it on Facebook and I told her 'Hell No'. The picture wasn't that bad actually, it was like Gavin was going to kiss me while I was looking in his eyes. It's not that I was expecting people to recognize my face, it's just a precaution since my ex-husband's stalker tendencies knows no limit.

I was fully aware of Gavin's simple touches all throughout lunch. He would place a hand on my knee or would lace our fingers together. He was his usual attentive self, not just with me and Ted, but with Tiff and Cam also. He even offered to pay the bill. I tried to protest to pay for the half but failed when he gave me that "I am going to kiss you senseless in public if you insist on paying" look. I didn't know how he managed to pass on that kind of message in just one look, but he did. _Because he can_.

It was Friday night and I have just tucked my son in bed. It had been a busy week and I needed some alone time with my tub. I poured myself a glass of wine before heading to the bath. Thinking back this afternoon, I thought I saw Sawyer walking down the street. I was busy with a customer at that time so I wasn't able to look closely.

Maybe it wasn't him. _Or maybe it was him_. Then if it was him, what was he doing here in Portland? Was Christian with him? A business trip maybe? Then why didn't he even take time to visit Ted? _Why, because you wanted to see him too?_

Shaking those thoughts out of my head, I took a long sip of my cheap wine. After a few moment of silence, talking about my inner war, I was startled when my phone rang. I reached for it and looked at the caller. _Gavin_.

"Hello." It was already 11 at night. I wonder what he was up to.

"Hey, I was hoping that you're still awake."

"Yes I am." I lifted my arm to reach for the wine and created some splashing noise from the water.

"Ana? Are you in the tub right now?" He said whispering.

"Why are you whispering? Yes I am having an alone time with my tub."

"Shit." I heard him muttered. "Hold on a second." I could hear some muffled sounds in the background and a door being opened and closed.

"Gavin? Are you still there?"

"Yes, I'm here. Sorry about that."

"Where are you? On duty?" I sounded like a nosy girlfriend. _Seriously, Steele._

"Yeah, down at the station. I just went out because I don't want the guys hearing my phone call with you." Oh that explains the background noise.

"Bored? Sleepy?"

"Exactly. So tired hearing the guys talked about the hottest new spots that they could go next weekend. They even invited me, and I just told them I am not sure."

"Why? You should go. It's going to be fun for you guys right? Like a breather from the crime scenes." I tried to make it sound like a joke, and it did. _Were__you pushing him to go out and have some fun with other girls, was that it, Steele?_

He chuckled. "Nah. Maybe for them, yes. I am more interested to spend my off day with a blue-eyed brunette."

"Oh." I couldn't help but smile with that. "I bet there are a lot of blue-eyed brunettes who would love to spend time with you. Like for the example, you know the woman who's working at the flower shop just across the str—"

He laughed. "No." Then his voice suddenly turned from playful to lustful. "I meant the one in the tub right now." _Oh my_.

I couldn't find my voice to answer back. My body immediately reacted to his voice. I closed my eyes and the sight of him tasting me and the feel of his tongue clouded my mind. And I couldn't stop the moan the escaped through my lips.

"Oh shit, Ana. That just made me so damn hard." He said as let out a sexy growl.

"Gavin…" I said my face flushed.

I heard him opened his car door and closed it. "Ana." His voice filled with desire. "Did you know that you're all I think about everyday? That image of yours, spread wide for me, your scent, your taste and that sexy sound coming from your delectable lips. I think I could burst out any minute just by thinking about it."

A small smile crept to my lips. "Yeah?"

He groaned. "Ana… You're teasing me."

I giggled. "So… what do you want me to do?"

"Touch yourself." Oh my god. "Please." Could I do this?

I heard him unzip his pants. I couldn't help but imagine how big and hard he was. I wasn't able to see it the last time, but I could tell that it was huge and heavy when he was pressed against me. He seemed to read where my mind was taking me.

"That's right my lady. I am rock hard for you right now." I let out an uncontrollable moan that seemed to be like a go signal for him.

"Run you hand down your breast." He said breathing heavily. I did what I was told, and I softly squeeze my right breast. "That's it. Now slide you hand over your nipples and tease them." I used my forefinger and thumb to pinch my nipple, originating a wave of heat that traveled up and down my body. "Yes. You have amazing breasts, Ana. They're so soft and fit perfectly with my hands. I could go all day pinching, biting and sucking those pink little nipples." I moaned loudly. I couldn't stop my fingers from pleasuring my erect nipple. I did the same with my other breast and I could hear him chanting my name like I was a goddess that he was worshiping.

"Now slide your hand down and tell me how wet you are for me." I slowly ran my hand down my body, caressing my stomach and then inched it further down so I could trace my entrance with my fingers, moaning in the process. Gavin made a sound of approval as I moaned. "Are you wet for me, Ana?"

"Y-yes." I said as placed my phone between my head and shoulder.

"Damn right you are."

"A-are you touching yourself?" I felt myself getting so close, and I want him to find his release soon too.

"Yes, I have my hard cock in my hand and stroking it so fast. I wish it was your hand or that sweet mouth of yours… oh shit." He groaned loudly. "That almost made me come. Just by thinking about… damn."

My free hand started playing with my breasts again. I continue to trace the entrance of my lower lips and when I inserted a finger inside, I moaned loudly.

"Oh yes, let me hear you. Pleasure yourself with those fingers. I can't wait to taste your sweet juices again, Ana. I will lick and suck it all and tease that throbbing nub and suck it until all you can do is to call out my name and beg." I move my finger inside me and I could feel my insides tightening. I teased my clit again and again and I added another finger and moved faster, in and out, and after a few more thrust of my fingers, my breathing hitched and I moaned loudly as my whole body trembled with the waves of pleasure that took over my body.

I kept moving my fingers in and out of me, slowly now, as I came down from my high. Gavin was saying my name and groaning loudly. I only stopped moving and extracted my fingers from inside of me when Gavin went silent after a particularly loud growl.

Saturday morning, Teddy's baby sitter for the day appeared in my door step looking hot as ever wearing a white tank and blue pyjama bottoms. He pulled me out and pinned me against the wall, kissing me hard and fast grinding his morning erection to mine. He said that was just a morning greeting and when kissed me again it was slow and gentle and he said that was a kiss saying 'have a good day at work'. The goodbye kiss was a different story that involved kissing, sucking and biting my lower lip. _Hot damn_. I could get used to those kind of kisses everyday.

Gavin would be looking after my son until Tiff could come and get Ted after lunch to meet me since he's off the whole day. He declined our invitation to join us in the afternoon because he was going to meet an old friend.

Last night's phone escapade was definitely mind blowing. I don't even know if there would be words to describe once we've actually done it. I thought I was going to be uncomfortable at first. I did it in the first few years of my marriage with Christian whenever he was away on a business trip. I got embarrassed and shy at first because we do it on Skype with video. And I got used to it later on. There were few times that we only use the phone.

The difference with Gavin last night was that it was his mouth that I fantasized instead of his manly hood. I couldn't believe how fast I came with only that sight of him going down on me and just hearing his sexy voice. Oh my, I could feel myself getting soaked just by thinking of it. _Jesus, Steele. Focus, you're at work!_

Shaking my head, I sent a text message to Tiff that she could pick Teddy up from the apartment then I would just meet her here at the bookstore to buy the things we need for dinner tonight. She and Cam decided to join us and have a movie night at my apartment since we couldn't go out tonight.

We were on our way to the grocery store that was just a few blocks away from the bookstore when I caught a glimpsed of a familiar figure inside a coffee shop just across the street. When I tried to look closely, he was wearing the usual black suit and he was talking quietly with someone who I couldn't really see because some guy was blocking my view of him.

"Sawyer?" It was definitely him. Then it wasn't just an illusion that I saw him yesterday too.

"Tiff, can you stay right here for a moment with Ted. I'm just going to look at something." Tiff just nodded and as I was on my way to the coffee shop, the guy who was blocking my view awhile ago finally left and now I was staring at the person that Sawyer was talking to.

Oh my god.

No.

Why was he with Sawyer?

No. It couldn't be.

_"This is about the security detail that I hired to watch over you and Ted." _

No way. No.

_"After you left __Seattle__, Mr. Grey instructed me to hire a security for you and Ted to check on you 24/7"_

As I recalled Taylor's words last week about the security detail, I didn't know where I was getting the strength but I found myself walking towards them.

"Mrs. Gr—. Ms. Steele." Sawyer was the first one to see me and stood up mirroring the shocked look on my face.

"Gavin?" I managed to choke out his name.

"Ana." He said as he stood up. "Wait, how did you kn—" Right now all I could see was red. I couldn't hear anything else aside from the broken voice inside me. Betrayal. He wasn't able to finish his words when my right hand flew right to his left cheek. Hard. My hand hurt so much, but I didn't care.

"How dare you. You son of a bitch!"

* * *

A/N: Keep calm everyone! Wait for the next chapter! xx


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Here you go! I did my best to update as soon as possible.

Sorry for the cliffhanger lol x

And I just like to answer this GUEST reviewer's comment:

_Guest 3/5/13 . chapter 12_

_Just because some readers speculated that Gavin was maybe a security guard you actually write that._  
_What the hell are you thinking?_

What the hell am I thinking? **FYI**, I already wrote the storyline of this story. And just because the readers started speculating in the early chapters doesn't mean that I have to change it. It is **needed** in my story. That's the **HELL** I am thinking. And I have no intentions of upsetting people, I took a risk writing this story and wrote a long **A/N** back in **Chapter 1 **as a **WARNING**. If you didn't understand any word from that A/N, then that's your problem not mine. That's all. Thank you.

Sorry for the rant guys, the bitch in me couldn't hold it any longer.

And about Christian's cheating story *please don't hate him too much* bottom page please!

As always **MASSIVE THANKS** for reading especially with the last chapter!

Reviews, reviews, reviews please keep them coming!

Sorry for the errors xx

* * *

**GAVIN**

"How dare you. You son of a bitch!"

I stood there, shocked. I honestly don't have any fucking idea what was happening. First, I was just sitting back hoping to catch up with an old friend who just appeared out of the blue after 5 years of no contact. And then the next thing I knew Luke was saying something about me getting involved with someone. And then suddenly an angry as hell Ana came out of nowhere and gave me the most powerful slap that I've ever had. And fuck me it hurts.

Ana's eyes were full of fire and hurt. I've never thought I would see this side of her. Did something happen? Did I do something wrong to upset her this much? The hatred in her eyes was very clear as the sun. Was that because of me? Damn it.

Luke obviously knew her. He was surprised to see her too. I was about to ask her but she silenced me with that slap. And all I could do now was to stare at her, jaw clenched and shaking furiously. _Ana._

"You..." She pointed a finger at me. "Don't you come near me or Teddy ever again!" She said her eyes blazing with fury.

"Ms. Steele—"

"Sawyer, don't." She held up a hand to stop Luke from speaking but her fiery eyes still fixed on me.

"You all must be laughing at me now huh?" She said gritting her teeth. "Get out of our lives because we don't fucking need you! Stupid lying asshole!" And with that she took off without turning back.

I was stunned. What the hell? It took me few seconds to get my wits back and tried to follow her. "Ana!"

"Gavin, wait." But Luke stopped me even before I could even take a step forward.

"Get off me! I need to talk to her—"

"God damn it, Gavin. I said wait." Luke tightened his grip on me.

"Fuck off, Luke. How could I wait here and waste my time with you knowing she fucking hates me now without knowing why?"

"I know why she's so mad and you need to let her go for now."

That got my attention. "I can't let her walk away like that! And I still have no fucking clue what's going on!"

"That's why you are going to calm down and sit and listen to what I have to say." Luke said as he sat down waiting for me to do the same.

Part of me wanted to just ran and follow Ana but I have a feeling that Luke was here on purpose and it got something to do with Ana. "Fuck." I sat down feeling angry, confused and lost all at the same time.

I rubbed my face with both hands. We were fine this morning. And then this happened. She was boiling mad at me. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"Look man. I'm sorry this all got out of hand. I didn't mean to cause this problem with you."

"They why are you here?" I spat back angrily. "5 years, Luke. You just disappeared. And now you just showed up and you even knew I moved here in Portland. What's this all about, huh?"

He sighed. "I've been working as a part of security detail for a certain businessman for the past 5 years. Up until last year, I was the personal security of his former wife. I was on call 24/7, I was like her shadow, not leaving her out of my sight." What the hell? "That's why I wasn't able to meet up with you and the guys anymore."

Luke? A personal security? Why would someone need a bodyguard 24/7? That's bat shit crazy. Unless they were part of the royal family. But that's… Oh shit. Did he say 'former wife'? 'Last year'?

"You were Ana's bodyguard?" I asked as realization hit me.

"Yes." Holy shit. I did not expect that.

"Then what's it got to do with me? Why is she angry with me? Did you do something to her?" Jesus Christ, the confusion was definitely killing me.

"When Ana saw me talking with you, I suppose, she made a wrong conclusion about who you are exactly."

"What do you mean wrong conclusion? About who am I exactly? Look, this is all gett—"

"Gavin. Shut up for a moment and listen first, alright?" I just gritted my teeth but didn't say anything.

"Listen, this is why I wanted to meet up with you. I was going to talk about Ana. I didn't know that you know her or that you were neighbors until I saw this picture of you with her." He showed me his phone and there I was carrying a sleeping Ted and holding Ana's hand while walking outside the apartment. This was taken last Wednesday night after dinner.

"Where did you get this? Who took this picture?"

He sighed. "The head of the security, Jason Taylor, hired a secret security detail for Ana and Ted after the divorce. Her ex-husband wanted to keep tabs on her and wanted them safe even if they weren't together anymore. So, for the past year someone's been following and looking after them." What the fuck? "I am guessing by the way Ana reacted awhile ago, she already knew about the security. Taylor must have told her about it but didn't mention who the security was. I saw the pictures in his office and secretly took a picture on my phone." I looked at the picture again.

He continued. "And when Ana saw me with you, she jumped on the wrong conclusion thinking…"

"I am part of the security detail." I said finally connecting the dots even before Luke could finish what he was trying to say.

"Yes."

"But why would she think like that? Just because we were talking? She could've just asked first, right? I don't get it." I sighed in frustration.

"Let me ask you something first, man. What's going on between the two of you?"

"Why do you want to know? That's none of your business, Luke." I said irritated.

"Yes, you're right. But let me tell you this, I know her. She won't be that mad if she hasn't put her trust in you. Last year, she experienced the worst. But she was able to get through it. I don't know how she did it, but she did. She's one brave woman and I admire her for that. I can't blame her for reacting like she did. You need to understand, she has trust issues. She's moving on and all I want for her is to become happy again and get what she deserves." His eyes turned hard to soft and I could tell he really cared for her.

She experienced the worst? I knew she didn't want to talk about the details of her marriage and divorce. I thought that she was still young back then and made a mistake of getting married to a businessman. And I didn't push her because I thought it wasn't that a big deal for her. But I guess I was wrong. And now I couldn't wait to find out what that bastard ex-husband of hers did to her. With how she looked at me awhile ago with those fiery eyes of hurt and anger, she definitely had some trust issues. Maybe he cheated on her? SOB. My blood's boiling just by thinking of Ana crying and miserable because her husband did the worst betrayal ever. Whoever he was, I don't fucking care. He deserved to burn in hell. I would be forever thankful to the heavens that Ana left him for good.

"We're getting to know each other." I finally broke the silence. "When I learned that it was just her and Ted, I felt this strong need to protect them. Even though I just met her last week, it felt like I've known her for years now. She's different, I can't explain it but there's something with her that's pulling me closer. And I know even in just a short time, Ana and Ted are becoming important part of my life now." I said looking straight in his eyes.

After a few seconds of studying me, he nodded. "I understand. Thank you for telling me. I know you Gavin, you'll never quit until you get what you want but becoming involve with Ana, it won't be easy."

"Why? Because of her ex? Your boss?"

"Do you know his name?" I shook my head no. "I see. So Ana haven't told you yet." He shifted in his seat. "Her ex-husband, my boss, is a powerful man. It's not my place to tell who he is, it should be Ana. He was very protective of her and a very jealous man. I can say from the past year, he still loves her and wants her back. Right now, he doesn't have any idea that you are getting close with her ex-wife and son. And it will be just a matter of a week or hell, even days before he finds out about you."

"I'm not saying this to discourage you, Gavin. We've been through a lot. You're like a brother to me. I just want you to know first what and who are you dealing with. I don't know what's going be his reaction once he finds out that Ana's getting intimate with someone else. But one thing is for sure, it won't be good."

I frowned. "What, is he a dangerous guy or something? Is he doing illegal business? Why are you working for him if that's the case?"

He laughed. "No. He's not doing anything illegal. He's just very possessive of her."

"Then why did he let go of her? If he loves her, then why did they divorce? I don't think Ana is that kind of girl who's only after his money." No, I wouldn't think of her like that. I see her as an independent woman and an amazing mother. Not some gold digger that in just one look, you'll definitely know. Not Ana. She has this innocent beauty that captured my eyes from the first time I saw her.

"No. she isn't like that. Like what I've told you, it's not my place to say anything about their divorce." He was right. I would just wait until Ana's ready to share that information about her ex. "And now that I know that you have good intentions with Ana and Ted, I am now counting on you to keep them safe."

I nodded. "I will do my best, Luke. Now I understand and thank you for coming down here. Maybe it was better if we just had a phone conversation. Ana would never think of me as one of you if she hadn't seen us together."

"I agree, but I wanted to see you again, man. It's been too long."

"Yeah, and it's your fault. You could have told us that you're getting a new job as a personal security. It's like you've gone rogue or something." He chuckled.

Luke and I were on the same team back in our army days. Like what he said, we were like brothers already. We've been through a lot. We dodged bullets, survived ambushes, we fought together. But 5 years ago, after our weekend hiking with the guys from our team before, he just disappeared. We thought he'd gone rogue and went out of the country. And the bastard was just working as personal security without a life. And he was Ana's security. He said he was with her anywhere she went.

I felt a pang of jealousy at that thought. I mean, I know there was no reason to be jealous but I couldn't help but think that he must know her more than me. _Stop it, idiot. Try to think of how you are going to explain this to Ana than thinking about that shit._

I sighed. "Luke, I need to talk to Ana right away, and I'm going to need your help, buddy."

"Well, this was my fault in the first place so what's your plan?"

"It's just simple but we need to hurry and find her first."

* * *

**ANA**

_I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry._

I've been repeating the same mantra for god knows how long now. I've been holed up in the bedroom ever since we came back from the grocery store. After what I've found out this afternoon, it was the last thing that I would like to do but I made a promise to my son and Tiff and I didn't want to disappoint them. _I wouldn't ruin our day just because of that lying bastard. Hell no._

Tiff knew something was wrong but kept her mouth shut. _Thank god._

I hate to admit it but it hurts, not just my hand for slapping his face but everything. I couldn't believe how he fooled me. He could have told me he was one of them instead of playing with me and breaking those walls that I tried to build the past year. I worked so hard to repair the damages that had been made by my failed marriage. My self confidence, self esteem and my trust. I knew it. I fucking knew it. I shouldn't have given him a bit of my trust in the first place. What was I thinking? Was I that really weak? Was I the same naïve girl like before? Was everything I worked for the past year all just a joke?

I was starting to like him. I was starting to trust him even with Ted. He was so good with him. I felt safe with him. He awakened so many things inside me. And yet, it was just all fake. Oh my god. The things we did together. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I opened my eyes when I heard the sound of soft knocks at the door. _Shit. I must have fallen asleep_. I rubbed my eyes and got off the bed to open it and I did a double look just to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

"Ana."

"What the hell are you doing here? Didn't I tell you to stay away from us?" How dare him show his face again!

He sighed and looked defeated. "I know, but we have to talk." But before I could say something he held out his phone to me and I was about to throw it back to him he quickly added "Luke wanted to talk to you first."

"And why would I want to talk with him? Listen you—"

"Because he has your son." What? Teddy?

I quickly put the phone into my ear. "Sawyer? Where is Teddy? Why the fuck is he with you? And where's Tiffany?"

"Ms. Steele. I'm afraid I can't answer all your questions at once." I could sense him smiling on the other line. _The nerve!_

And before I could speak again he immediately continued. "Teddy is safe. We are just playing some video games with your friend Tiffany. I just wanted to tell you that Gavin isn't what you think he is. You've misunderstood. Try to listen to him first and he'll tell you everything you needed to know about why you saw us together this afternoon."

"Where—"

"Don't worry about Ted, we are just somewhere around the apartment." And with that he hung up.

"What the hell have you done? You even used my son for this trick. I can't believe you bastards." I said as I sat down in bed rubbing my forehead with my good hand.

"Hey." Gavin approached me and knelt in front of me.

"Don't touch me." As he tried to take my hand. "And if you have anything to say just make it fast so I won't have to see your face again."

He sighed and sat on the floor crossing his legs. "Alright. Ana, I told you before that I was with the army for four years right? Luke and I were on the same team. We were always being paired when we have the usual exercises and since then we became best buds like brothers who were inseparable." He and Luke were best buds?

"5 years ago, he just went MIA or simply disappeared without any warning. Me and the other guys from our team before thought that he went out of the country doing god knows what. But yesterday, I received a phone call from him saying he was in Portland and he wanted us to meet and catch up. Like what I've told you this morning, I was meeting an old friend."

"Are you telling the truth? Because I swear—"

"Yes I am. This afternoon was a shock to me when you just appeared so angry. I swear, I had no fucking clue to what you were saying." He said it with his eyes pleading innocence.

Oh my god. I just stared at him not knowing what to do.

What did I do? Was he really telling the truth? I see no point of him lying to me. He did say that he was meeting an old friend, I just didn't ask who because I don't know any of his friends. And Sawyer told me that he wasn't what I thought he was. Then it hit me. _He wasn't the security __Taylor__ hired_. Holy shit. Of course he wasn't the security! He just moved here a week and few days ago. And Taylor said something about the security had followed the two guys who tried hit on me outside the bar last Saturday and Gavin was with me after that incident.

How could I be so fucking stupid? Why did I just jump on the wrong conclusion and didn't use my head to think first? _Because you were afraid to get hurt again, remember?_

"Oh my god." I hid my face in shame with both hands.

"Hey." Gavin leaned closer and took my hands in his.

"Gavin. I, I—" I closed my eyes because I don't know if I could face him again after what I did.

"Ana, open your eyes." I did but I kept my eyes on my lap. "Look at me."

As my eyes found his, my heart skipped a beat. I thought he was going to be mad at me, lash out on me, but instead he was looking at me with pure desire in his light blue eyes. His eyes were like telling me he understands and that's everything's going to be alright.

"Gavin, I'm so sor—" I couldn't finish my apology because he attacked my lips and pulled me closer to him, kissing me hungrily. I melted into him, returning the kiss with the same fervor, our tongues clashing against each other in sync. He positioned himself in between my legs and as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He grabbed me by thighs and lifted me up to the middle of the bed without breaking the kiss.

Now, I was lying on back with him nipping, licking and sucking my lips, my tongue then down to my chin and neck and made his way up to my jaw then bit my ear lobes with his teeth.

I knew that in any second I would eventually get lost in his sensual kisses, but before that happens I need to apologize first.

"Gavin, I wanted to say I'm sor—" But then again he silenced me with his lips, taking every words that I was about say. I couldn't help but moan into his mouth. His hands began to roam from my thighs up to my sides then to my breasts. He cupped them through my shirt, squeezing and massaging.

I let out a loud moan that made him groaned as his lips traveled down south. He took his time worshiping my throat with his tongue. His hands found the hem of my shirt and slowly lifted it off me.

I closed my eyes as he lowered his head and brushed my mouth with his, once, twice. Then he thrust his tongue into me again and again, hard and fast. His hand went to my neck, stroking down between my breasts.

"Ana." I opened my eyes and saw him staring intently at me.

And that moment, I knew it was about to happen. And I don't have any intention of stopping it.

"Gavin…" My voice hoarse from the hard kisses and brought my hand to his cheek. "Please, make love to me."

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A/N: NEXT UP: **CHRISTIAN'S POV** xx


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: HI EVERYONE! I like to apologize for making you all wait and beg for an update. And here it is! Wow 560+ reviews. You guys rock! Thanks so much for the massive support. And I love the most recent reviews like the "Update Update" or the "Please Update soon I'm dying here!" LOL I love you guys :)

And I just like to say this before I let you read, writing CPOV wasn't easy. And I was not sure if I should post this or not. I think I suck at summaries. LOL seriously, I did my best here and I hope this would answer your questions why Christian cheated on Ana.

Sorry for the mistakes and Reviews are appreciated.

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CHRISTIAN'S POV

"No…"

"Please…"

"Don't…"

"Please don't leave…"

"Come back…"

"Ana!"

I sat up straight, drenched in my sweat, wide-eyed and panting from the same nightmare that had been hunting me every night for the past year. _She left_. The nightmares were back. But this time it was about her leaving, with our son Ted, they were slowly walking into a big black hole, I was running towards them but I couldn't catch up no matter how fast I run.

The worst was how to deal with it after I wake up. Before I met Ana, I used to play the piano after waking up from my childhood nightmares. But every time I try to play, all I could think about was Ana. Our memories together when I used to play for her, when I was trying to teach Teddy and when we play and sing together as a family.

Ana saved me. She was like an angel sent from above. She made the nightmares go away when we sleep together. She was my light. The only person who knew me from inside and out. She was always there to support me and understood and accepted my fifty shades of fucked-upness. I couldn't believe it at first, how could someone accept a broken person who didn't have a heart? Who was a tyrant? A control freak and overbearing like me? But then I underestimated her. She was the strongest woman I know. She stayed. She fucking stayed and married me. I didn't deserve her, I knew that. But I was a selfish man. I wanted her, needed her. She loved me. She amazed me. She beguiled me. And she wanted me. Fuck, I was a lucky SOB.

I thought about it as a miracle that happened into my life. But I fucked it up, as always. When Grace adopted me, I thought it was a miracle too, but no, the demons of my childhood with the cracked whore followed me so I fucked up. Brawling, drinking and rebelled. And then another miracle happened, Elena Lincoln. _Miracle you say? Fuck, Grey. It was more like 'Hell was even a better place than Elena's dungeon'_. Yes, it wasn't a miracle like what I thought it was at first. By Ana's words, I was manipulated, seduced and abused because I was still a child. And it took time for me to accept that she was right. Ana was right. My Ana was fucking right.

I made my way downstairs and went straight to my office and sat down to my chair and began scrolling and viewed the pictures of my family from the past few years. This was now my routine every time that I would wake up from my nightmares. Looking through the pictures helped me to reminisce the good times that we had and it would always make me remember of what I had lost in life from the mistakes I made.

Everything was perfect. It was a fucking bliss. The first few years of our marriage was perfect. Ted was growing smarter and bigger every day, Ana taking over Grey Publishing and doing a good job at handling everything. Business was all good at that time and it felt so damn good that the need to go the playroom was like non-existent. Yes, we still use the playroom but sometimes we just bring some of the toys to our bedroom but vanilla with a bit of kinky had been fucking perfect for me and my wife's sex life. I was in control of everything.

But everything went wrong when we had a heated argument one night. I was in the middle of two business ventures at that time when Ana came to my office and told me that she would be spending four days in New York to attend a certain seminar. She already mentioned it a month ago and that she was going with one of the newest acquired authors of GP. I already met that fucker who was salivating over my wife while having business lunch with her. I came to pick her up at that time and nearly punched the fucker because of the way he was undressing my wife with his eyes. Ana just rolled her eyes at me and said that I was just over reacting again. And damn I was not. I knew one fucker when I saw one. And Ana was just too damn stubborn to notice it. So I told her no. She got mad and told me that I was being unreasonable for not letting her go. She refused to back down until I say yes. My attention was now being taken away from the business deals that I was working and let Ros handled it at that time. I knew Ana wouldn't back down and I knew I just have to fuck her to submission. But after a day of mind blowing kinky fuckery, she said she would still go. I was about to argue with her when Taylor knocked on the bedroom door and told me that Ros was trying to reach me. Taylor was spending the weekend with Sophie and drove back as quickly as he can. It was Ros and said that we lost the deals. Apparently the investors wanted me to personally do the business with them not my right hand and were all disappointed. Ros was trying to reach me but my phone was turned off. I couldn't fucking believe it. I tried to contact again the investors but it was too late. But I didn't give up. I immediately went to Portland to try to fix things up. I warned Ana to stay at home until I get back.

The next day I went home with nothing. I fucking failed. I wasn't able to save the deal. Christian Grey CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc failed. I never failed. But I did. I was so fucking mad that I nearly fired everyone who were working with me for the deal, including Ros. But finding out that my wife and son flew to New York just before I arrived sent me to the edge. I was beyond livid. My wife defied me. I lost control of everything. And because of that the Dom in me went back to life in full force. I knew what I needed. So I went out on my own and found myself in front of one of the BDSM clubs in Seattle. I contemplated at first and decided to just go straight to the bar of the club. And there I met the bartender Carmela. She was a petit half latina brunette. She asked me if I was looking for a sub and I said no. She didn't believe me at first because she said I looked so stressed and that I needed some 'form' of release. She offered to 'help' and I declined. I was thinking if I could do this or not. But when the events of the last few days crept back to my mind, the Dom in me took over. After an hour of drinking scotch, I accepted Carmela's offer and took me to the back of the club where scenes were done.

We used one of the private rooms of the club. Thank fuck I remembered that I was a fucking CEO and that someone might recognize me. The other bartender was the only one who noticed me that night other than Carmela and she said that she was her bestfriend. Carmela didn't know who I was and I just kept it that way. She told me that she used to be a submissive but stopped when she couldn't find the right dom. I didn't pay much attention because my cock had begun twitching when I saw all the things that we could use in the room. She said I could use anything and would just safe word if it was too much already. So, I spent the whole night flogging, spanking, whipping and even canning her. And fuck she amazed me that she fucking enjoyed it as much as I did. Even if there was no sex I felt so satisfied and alive than I ever felt in years. I was like a vampire who tasted blood after a hundred years of waiting. And the feeling of being in control was like heaven.

After a few days, I was able to do some damage control. I felt more confident in handling the lost of the deals and did find some solution to the crisis that GEH was facing. Ana was back and all we did was to argue and fight and when I felt that I was losing control and almost took her to the playroom, I end the argument and quickly went straight to the gym. I knew it won't be enough but at least it would distract me from the thoughts of my wife in the playroom. She wouldn't be able to take the pain, I knew it. She left me once when I hit her with the belt and I won't let that happen again. And it went like that for few more weeks until I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to lose any more business deals and my wife. So, I let the Dom in me decide of what I've got to do.

I ran a background check to Carmela and found that she was telling the truth about being a submissive. So I called her and asked if she could meet me again. She was glad and said that she kept thinking about me and how I dominated her and made her submissive blood come back to life. She still didn't have the slightest idea of who I was, so I made her sign an NDA and introduced myself. I asked her to be my submissive for a month. I showed the contract and the benefits that she could have once she signed it. I knew she wanted to go back to college and finish her degree in Nursing. She was broke and didn't have any choice but to work first and until she could save some money for education. I even offered her a car and a new apartment. She almost declined when she learned that I was married and have a child. I told her that there would be no sex. In the end, I was able to convince her and made her sign the contract.

After a month, everything was back to normal. GEH was able to survive the crisis and business was stronger than ever. Ana and I did some serious talk and agreed to have a couple's session with Flynn and were able to talk about the arguments and misunderstandings that we had the past month. I didn't know if I should feel guilty or not about not mentioning the sub that I contracted for a month. I didn't see Carmela anymore after the contract ended. She tried to persuade me to extend the contract for another month but I declined. I knew it was wrong but it helped me to get my control back and it felt so fucking good. I just made a promise to myself that I wouldn't do it anymore and wouldn't risk losing my family over it. Even my security didn't know about it. I made sure to always go on my own every time that I needed to whip my sub. I didn't even think about Ana finding it out. I burned the contract just to clear any evidence of me contracting a sub for a month.

A month later, I was surprised when I saw Carmela waiting in front of GEH. I quickly dialed her number and asked what she was doing in Seattle. The last time I talked to her was when she left for New York to finish her degree. She told me she wanted to see me and talk about something. I refused of course, but she insisted that it was an emergency. I got no choice because I didn't want her to make a scene. Taylor would definitely know the situation so I decided to meet her. She asked me to dominate her one last time because she was getting married. She met someone in New York who was the man of her dreams except that the man was not a dominant. I said no at first but when she started to beg and cry I gave in. I knew of course that my body was craving for it too. She demanded a lot of things that night, that she wanted me naked too and that she wanted to taste my cum. I couldn't refuse that time because she started masturbating with a huge vibrator in front of me. She sucked me off and my body was in too much ecstasy to say no. She then wanted me to fuck her and that she wanted me to be still her dom even if she was about to get married. That woke me from being lost in lust with her. I dressed up quickly and told her not to show her face anymore and walked out. After a few days, Carmela tried to reach me by calling my phone and my office number. I warned her to stop or I would make sure to ruin her life in New York. That seemed to work because I didn't hear from her anymore. I thought that everything was going back to the way it was and no one would ever know what happened.

But I guess life had other plans for me. One night I went home and found my wife waiting for me in my study. She handed me a document and I got the shock of my life when I realized that it was the contract I had with Carmela and there was a note 'I fucking love his cum'. I was fucking sure that I burned it. And then it dawned on me that it was Carmela's copy. I stared at my wife who was trying so hard not to cry and was shaking furiously. She said that it was sent to her office that afternoon. She then asked me if the contract was true and if it really was my name and signature. She repeatedly asked if I had a sub and if I fucked the sub. I couldn't speak or move. I never thought that this day would come. I couldn't fucking believe that Carmela betrayed me and sent my wife her copy of the contract. She asked me if she could have a copy before because she wanted a reminder of our time together. I was so fucking stupid to think that she wouldn't do such thing. The next thing I knew, Ana's hand flew right to my face and hit me so fucking hard. She walked out and I followed her begging to listen to me first. She quickly packed some of her clothes and Ted and I was crying and begging for her not to leave. But she wouldn't have any of it and left with my son.

The security followed them and I found out that they went to my brother's house. I tried to talk to her but Elliot wouldn't let me in their home. She refused to see me. The next few weeks were like hell to me. She filed for legal separation. I signed the document just to show her that I was willing to do anything she wanted me to do just to prove that I was sorry and wanted to tell her everything that happened. My family didn't know the reason why we separated. I guess my wife was still trying to protect me from humiliation and disappointment. They were confused but I guess they suspected that I did cheat on my wife. I got a taste of the Katherine Kavanagh slap and accepted all the hurtful things that she was meaning to tell me ever since I met Ana. My sister avoided me like I had a contagious disease. Elliot tried to be civil around me but I knew he was just holding back out of respect for our parents. I spent the next month placating and wooing my wife. Every time I get the chance to talk to her I asked for never ending forgiveness and for another chance to prove my love for her.

After almost buying an entire flower farm just to give it all to my wife and endless begging, Ana finally gave me a chance to explain. I told her everything from the failed business deals to our weeks of fighting and how I lost control of the situation. I also mentioned my fear of hurting her if I took her to the playroom with me angry and unstable. I told her that she might leave me again if I hurt her. Then how I met the sub that I contracted for a month. The hardest part was when I was told her what happened the last time I saw Carmela. We both cried the whole night and I told her that I would respect whatever her decision would be the next morning.

And I didn't know if I was just a lucky bastard or that my wife was a saint, the next morning she told me that she was coming home with Ted and that she was willing to give our marriage another chance. I was like in fucking cloud nine at that time and I couldn't believe it. She then told me her conditions of accepting me again as her husband. One was to be always open and honest to her.

I quickly arranged a week of vacation in Hawaii when Ana agreed to my idea of a week away from the city with just us three. I lavished my wife with everything I could give her during that vacation. I knew that it won't be easy to gain her full trust again after everything that happened to us.

It was two weeks after the vacation when we decided to get back to work. I was so grateful to Ros because she handled GEH just fine when I was busy working things out with Ana. I also found out that the contract with a note that was sent to Ana's office was indeed Carmela's copy but the one who sent it was still unknown. I still couldn't believe that Carmela could do it since she was vocal that she didn't want to destroy my marriage. But the note was a strong proof that it was her who sent it to my wife. I also found out that Carmela was already married and settling down in New York. I decided to make sure that she wouldn't make any surprise visit again so I sent someone to watch over her in New York.

Then one night I was working late, because I've been away for so long, while I was busy with so many paper works, someone entered my office. I was shocked to see Carmela wearing a coat and was carrying a duffle bag. She quickly ran into me and started crying. I was so shocked that I didn't move for a few seconds. And when I recovered I tried to push her away but instead she knelt in front of me like in a submissive position. I told her to stand up and leave but she just stayed like that and didn't say anything. I was about to call Taylor when she muttered something. I made her repeat what she just said because I thought I heard the word 'dead'. Then she said it again, a bit a louder than before 'My husband's dead'. She wanted me to dominate her again to make her forget about the pain of losing her husband. I said no and told her leave but when she removed the coat, she wearing nothing underneath and made me stopped again in calling Taylor. She then opened her bag and took out a whip. She kept on begging me to control her again. And I couldn't stop my body from being affected by her submissive position.

I tried to fight the desire that was building inside me. But when I remembered the past few months of how I struggled to fix my marriage because of that copy of our contract that was sent to my wife, the anger and frustration that I felt at that time made me grabbed the whip and ordered her to bend over the desk. She quickly obeyed me and positioned herself. I began hitting her with all I got but she seemed to be enjoying the harder I did it. I saw a vibrator in the bag and turned it on and teased her with it. I was getting lost in whipping and teasing her and didn't realize that someone opened the door and was staring at us. I saw my wife standing with shock, hurt, anger, confusion printed all over her face. I dropped the whip and was frozen at the spot. Then I noticed Ana's eyes turned cold and blank. I watched as she slowly took her rings off her finger and walked out.

And all I could do at that time was just to stare at my office doors and cry.

* * *

A/N: Next up: Lemony goodness featuring Ana and Mr. Boxers xx


	15. Chapter 15

_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fifty Shades. Just this story. And NOT a professional writer. Just sharing my first ff.**_

A/N: Good evening! (GMT+8) I sincerely apologize for making you wait and beg again for this much awaited chapter. *squee!*

I haven't feeling well since last night. I guess, I used too much brain and energy from the last chapter and left me exhausted (lol). That's why the chapter was left unfinished until I could get some rest. And Finally, it's here!

And just like what the Guest reviewer said almost 100 reviews just for the last chapter! **WOW. Unreal**. If I could just host a party for you guys, all are invited of course, I would! (Too bad we live thousand miles apart) Just to show my gratitude for your continuous support and love for this story. **Thank you, with all my heart**.

And for the "**Plagiarism Group of Guest Reviewers**" maybe you need a legal counsel for your case guys? Seriously. You need to chill and consider your thoughts before you go **high and almighty** accusing me of such thing. My story doesn't deserve your crap. God bless you guys.

And to my ever loyal Guest reviewers, I would love to thank you guys personally so maybe its time for you to create an account like **Kayla the Guest reviewer**(lol) and **Ellie**?

And to those who reviewed the last chapter, thank you, sorry I couldn't reply to you guys the last time. And especially to those who sent me PMs encouraging me and left such kind words, you know who you are.** MASSIVE THANKS!**

**Love you guys**! Lemony chapter *nervous as always*

Mistakes are mine! Reviews are appreciated!

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"Gavin…"

He unclasped my bra and cupped my breasts with both hands. He took time fondling them like he couldn't get enough. He was clearly avoiding my nipples making me crave more for his touch and his mouth. _Oh his tongue, please_. He lips went down on mine, then trailed kisses to my jaw down to my neck then to my breasts. I moaned as I felt him drew my erect nipple to his mouth and began sucking it while the other one was receiving an equal attention from his forefinger and thumb. I grabbed his hair pulled him into me as I felt the wetness building between my legs. He did the same with the other nipple, he sucked, licked and bit until I could feel my release coming too soon. He then stopped ravishing my breasts and stood up taking off his shirt and pants.

And there he stood with that Greek-god like body. I licked my lips in anticipation as I noticed the big bulge in his boxers. _Oh yes, Mr. Boxers_.

"You lick that lips like that again, I'm afraid I won't last that long my lady." He said while stroking himself through his boxers. _God that was so hot._

He helped me out of pants and traced my soaked panties with his fingers. He groaned when he felt how wet I was. He brought his fingers into his mouth and allowed his tongue to taste my juices. He was about to lie down in bed again when I stopped him and sat up and kneeled in bed.

"I think I owe you something." I said as my hand roamed from his chiseled abs up to his ripped chest.

"Yeah?" He said and then his eye widened and a naughty smile played on his lips when he realized what I was trying to say.

"Yeah." I said now taking my time touching his broad shoulders and traced his sexy tattoo. I grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down for a kiss. Before he could deepen the kiss, I broke it off and trailed kisses down to his chest. He groaned when I took his nipple into my mouth. Then I cupped his now twitching crotch through his boxers and squeezed it lightly. _Oh my. He's huge! _

"Ana…" A sexy growl escaped through his lips.

I scrambled out of the bed and went on my knees in front of him. I bit my lip as I peeked at him though my eyelids. I slowly traced the waste band of his boxers then slid it off his legs and gasped as his erection sprang free.

Oh. My. God. He's not just huge. He's huge, huge, huge, huge, huge!_ Is it even going to fit in me?_ His throbbing shaft was long and thick that I couldn't even measure it correctly. Yes, my ex's was big enough, but not this big. _Enough about the ex,_ _let's get it on, Steele_!

"Ana, you don't have to…" He moaned as I slid my hand across his rigid cock. I firmly squeezed the base then slowly slid up his shaft pushing more blood to his head which was now excited to the point of leaking pre-cum. I took my finger tip and wiped the hot cum. I looked at his light blue eyes as I put my now cum covered finger into my mouth and sucked it while he watched. _Hmm, salty and spicy Mr. Boxers._

"Oh fuck, Ana." His voice strained with full desire then he groaned as I took him by surprise when I licked the tip of his cock. Taking my time, I slowly took him in my mouth. I sucked on the pulsating member, letting my tongue swirl over and around it. I wrapped my fingers around the throbbing shaft and could feel each beat of his heart as the blood pumped through the bulging vein. As I took more of him, he moaned loudly and I glanced up and saw his head back, eyes closed and clenched fists.

"Yes. That feels so good."

When our eyes met and his eyes widened as I took him deep and into my throat. "Holy shit. Ana…" He growled as I went back up and sucked then took him deeper again hitting the back of my throat. He put a hand at the back of my head and guided me gently up and down his shaft.

"That's it. I fucking love your mouth Ana." He started thrusting his cock into my mouth, plunging in and out matching my pace as I continued to suck him off. I grabbed his balls and massage them earning a loud moan from him. I felt him stiffen and I knew he was close. So I grabbed his ass and greedily took him faster and using as much of my tongue sucking him harder.

"If you continue like that, I will… Oh, fuck." I took him deeper one last time and felt his hot cream exploding into the back of my throat. He kept on thrusting his throbbing cock filling my mouth with his cum. I swallowed it all and licked every drop of his hot cream.

I was not done licking his cum from my lips when he pulled me up and kissed me hard as he pushed me back to the bed.

He kissed me hungrily. He bit, sucked and bit on my lip. I knew he could taste himself on me but he didn't mind and pushed his tongue deeper into mine.

"That was amazing." He said as he went up for air. "I could fuck your mouth all day, don't you know that?" I opened my eyes and saw him staring at me with those intense light blue eyes. He crashed his mouth on me again as I felt his hands slid my soaked panties off me. He sat and brought it to his nose before he threw it on the floor.

"You smell so sweet, Ana. I can't wait to taste you again." He kissed me once more and made his way down south. I felt him licked my belly button and nuzzled his way down to my pubic mound. He buried his nose on my crotch breathing in my scent then he extended his tongue started licking and lapping my wet folds. I looked at the sight before me and couldn't help an erotic sound that escaped on my lips as I watched him suck my wet core like it was it his favorite taste in the world. His light blue eyes met mine and I moaned loudly as he sucked on my throbbing clit. I pulled on his hair and grinded my hips on his face. Pushing my legs wider I felt him put one then two fingers inside. I could feel my juices oozing as he continued to suck on my clit while he fucked me with his fingers. My climax came too soon after he inserted another finger.

"Gavin! Ah…" I was now breathing heavily and trying to recover from that explosive finger fucking when I heard him tear a foil packet and positioned himself between legs.

"Ana." My eyelids were heavy as I opened my eyes and saw him staring intently at me. "I will take it slow, alright? And tell me to stop if it's too much. I don't want to—"

I grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down for a wild kiss. He kissed me back with the same intensity as I felt his tip teasing my hot wet core. I cried out as he finally pushed inside me, slowly, and I felt my walls stretched and filled by his rigid cock. I moaned as he started to rock gently his hips into mine.

"Okay?" He muttered with his lips on me.

"Yeah," I bit and ran my tongue on his lower lip "it's just that it has been so long since the last time."

"Fuck, you're so tight."

He kissed me hard and cupped my breasts again and started pinching and pulling on my nipples. I moaned into his mouth as he increased his pace, thrusting harder and faster. I squeezed his hard cock with my inner muscles as I could feel an orgasm building too soon again. I gasped as he found my G-Spot and stroked it over and over again. He continued thrusting and when he pinched my nipples hard, I came instantly.

"We're not done yet. I can't get enough of you." I kept my eyes closed and was now panting as he kissed me again hard and rough. I wrapped my legs around him as he continued grinding his hips on me, his throbbing huge cock inching in and out of me. The position kept him so deep inside me and the orgasm building quickly again. _Oh my god_. I panted as the pleasure became overwhelming.

"Oh, Ana. You're fucking amazing. " I felt him stiffen and knew he was close too. He reached down and found my clit and he brushed harder against my G-spot. He pounded into me hard and fast and within moments I was shivering on the edge of orgasm. I arched back, my body spasming as the waves of pleasure ripped through me.

"Ana." He continued to thrust into me and I could feel him shaking as his cock jerked within me and groaned as hips surged against me twice more emptying his hot seed.

He laid his head on my shoulder, breathing hard.

"Gavin, that was…"

"So fucking good." He pushed himself up and my head in between his arms. "Did I hurt you?" He said cupping and gently stroking my cheek with his thumb.

I shook my head. "I'm fine. I couldn't even describe it. You're just…" I said trailing off, lost of words to say.

He gave me that panty-combusting smile that sent shivers down between my legs. _Holy shit. How could I feel myself getting wet again just by that heart stopping smile?_

He stood up, discarding the condom and went back beside me. Thank god he had one.

"Yeah, I know." He leaned in and ran his nose along mine. "You're amazing Ana." He bit my lower lip and he gently brushed his fingertips from my cheek then to my lips and pushed one finger inside. "And this mouth… Fuck." He growled as I sucked on his finger.

He pulled out his finger as I feel his erection coming to life. Oh my. _Again?_

"What about my mouth?" I asked as I raised an eyebrow and tried to sound like I had no idea what he was talking about.

His eye turned dark as he attacked my mouth ravishing me with his tongue, stroking, sucking and nipping. He pulled up quickly even before I could kiss him back.

"You. Have. The. Most. Fuckable. Sweet. And. Luscious. Mouth. Ever." He said in between kisses.

I felt my face flushed. "I do not."

He chuckled as he laid on his side of the bed facing me and grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to him. "Oh, Ana. Like what I've said, I could fuck your mouth all day and I would still be wanting for more of this delectable mouth without that so-called gag reflex." He smiled his devilish smile. _God, he looks so hot_.

"Shut up." I smacked his arm playfully. Then I remembered something.

"Oh shit. Gavin, I'm so sorry I hit you. I didn't kno—" He stopped me by putting two fingers on my lips.

"Hey, it's alright. I understand. No need to apologize, okay?" He said softly.

I sighed and placed my right hand on his cheek that I slapped. I winced lightly as I still feel a stinging sensation on my hand.

"You hurt yourself too. Let's get your hand some ice." He said as he tried to pull my hand away from his cheek.

"No. I'm alright. I want to touch you." His face softened as he pulled me closer until our foreheads were touching.

"I still want to apologize for jumping into wrong conclusion." I closed my eyes as I continued to lightly stroke his cheek. "I was blinded with rage when my eyes found out who Sawyer was talking with. I thought you were… you were.—"

"The security detail that your ex hired to watch you." He finished it for me.

I nodded. "Sawyer told you."

"I insisted." He pulled my hand and brought it to his lips. "I'm sorry if I stepped out of the line by asking but I was so confused and frustrated with what happened and I just needed some answers." He said truthfully.

I gave him a slight nod. "It's fine. You have the right, anyway. Since I was the one who created the mess." I cringed as I remembered how I reacted this afternoon.

I really thought that Gavin betrayed me. I was so sure that he was just playing with me but I was so wrong. I didn't just hit him, I even shouted at him with so much hate. Geez, I hate myself. He must think that I have such temper and scandalous. I closed my eyes feeling the embarrassment building again.

"Hey." I opened my eyes and saw him staring at me like he could read my mind. I could feel him stroking my naked back. "Do you know what I really thought about you this afternoon?"

I shook my head no. I didn't know if I could take whatever negative thing he was going to say about me.

He chuckled. "Listen, because I'm still going to tell you." _Oh no, please._ I was about to close my eyes again when put a finger under my chin and lifted my gazed into him. "Don't. Trust me, just listen." I just nodded and swallowed as I waited for him to continue.

"You." I readied myself for the coming blow. "I'm proud of you. You are strongest woman that I know." I felt my mouth hang open. I didn't expect that. "What you did this afternoon was just so brave. You stood up for yourself, you could perfectly defend yourself." I just stared at him not knowing what to say. "You didn't want to suffer the pain of betrayal anymore so you fought back. And that amazed me the most. You're willing to fight."

"I know that at such a young age you already experienced a lot and I know you don't see yourself like this but trust me when I say this. You have a kind heart. You're smart. You're beautiful. You're sexy as hell. You're a perfect mother. You're selfless. You're amazing." He put my hand over his chest and I could feel his heart racing. "You do this to me. You've captivated me. You amaze me. And I'm so proud of you for being so strong."

I was speechless. I looked into those light blue eyes and all I could see was honesty, admiration and other overwhelming emotions that I couldn't explain.

Last year, I experienced the worst betrayal that a married woman could ever imagine. I felt everything from sorrow, hurt, anger, self pity, confusion, jealousy, and grief of everything that I've lost. The love of my life. My world. My bestfriend. My lover. My husband. My heart was broken into million, no scratch that, billion pieces. And I swore that no man would ever hurt me again. No man would ever gain my whole trust again. No man would ever own my soul again. No more second chances. I built such high walls around me. They would protect me from any emotional harm that would come my way. I would heal and wait and would take my time until I find that man who would be right for me and my son. I was willing to wait. And then this man came along.

He was able to get past through those walls. He didn't break in. He didn't force himself. He didn't break the walls. He was helping me. He was helping me rebuild those walls with life and color. He was helping me trust myself to trust those people around me. He was helping me to rebuild myself into someone that could believe again.

With my lips still lack words to say, I lunged myself at him, kissing him deeply and passionately, trying to convey the feelings that was now growing in me. He kissed me back with equal passion. Taking everything that I could give and giving everything that he got.

"Ana." he said taking my hand again and placing it over his wildly beating heart. "I know you're still not ready to start anything, but I would like to give this a shot." He looked at me his eyes soft, warm and unsure. "Would you let me show you how much I care for you? Uhm, wait. No not that. Would you let me show you how much I would love to take care of you?" His brows furrowed like he was replaying the things he said on his mind.

I couldn't hold back the laughter that escaped through my lips. I laughed at how cute his confused expression was. God, until now I still don't have the answer to how fast he could change from lustful, to playful, then to serious and then to being hilarious. _Oh my Mr. Boxers_.

Wait. Did I just say that through my mind? My Mr. Boxers?

"Why are you laughing at me?" He asked pouting and looking like a child. _He's so cute!_

I pulled his face with both hands. "No, I wasn't laughing at what you've said. You were just so cute pulling off that confused looked." I said but he continued to pout.

"Hey." I said grabbing his attention with a serious tone. "They're just the same. You care for me." I smiled at him shyly. "And I'm thankful for that."

He sighed in relief. "But I have one question."

"What is it?" He looked like he was getting ready for a million dollar question.

I waited for few seconds before I spoke again. I saw him swallowed twice waiting patiently for me. "Only me?" I said trying to keep a straight face before I could burst into laughter.

"Aye. We won't proceed without Captain Teddy's orders, Ma'am!" He said complete with a salute that made me laughed so hard for a full minute and that I needed to wipe a few tears that escaped through my eyes.

"Oh god, Gavin. You're just so—" I wasn't able to finish what I was going to say as his mouth claimed mine in a warm and hungry kiss. I kissed him back pulling his hair that earned me a groaned and he started grinding me with his now semi erect member.

My phone started ringing but I just ignored it and continued kissing Gavin. I trailed kissed down to his chin then to his neck, nipping and sucking at his throat.

"Uhm, Ana." He tried to get up, I guessed wanting to answer the phone.

"Hmm. Ignore that." I made my way down to his chest and licked his nipple and smiled inwardly when I heard him groaned. The phone kept on ringing and I just didn't care.

I continued my assault on his nipple when he tried to say something again. "Ana… That might be—"

"MOMMY! I'm home!" Holy fuck. I froze and felt my whole face turned red. _How could I forget? _

I could feel someone shaking furiously beside me and saw Gavin doing his best to hide his laughter from my embarrassment, again. _The jerk!_

Instead of hiding my face in my hands, I glared at him and that made him stop from laughing.

"Hey." He said holding his hands in surrender. "I was trying to answer the phone and you wouldn't let me." He shrugged.

I grabbed a pillow and tried to hit him but then again he overpowered me.

He hugged me from behind and continued his laughing. Oh god, I don't know if I could ever be more embarrassed than this. Me naked in bed with a naked man about to do some explicit things with my son just in the other room. _Way to go, Steele_.

"I knew it was Tiff, because I told her to give us a warning if they were on their way up." I could feel him grinning while kissing the back of my neck.

"Then why didn't you tell me?" I cried out.

"I was trying, but you—"

"Don't you dare!"

He laughed. "Alright. It's my fault." He kissed me once more and cupped my breast. "At least this time, we were able to—"

He wasn't able to finish his words when I grabbed the pillow again and this time covering his face so he would just shut up. Bastard.


	16. Chapter 16

_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fifty Shades. Just this story. And NOT a professional writer. Just sharing my first ff.**_

I couldn't stop thinking about last night. We finally did it. After being interrupted on the first time, then the phone sex, _oh god I'm getting myself wet just by thinking about it,_ and then the events of yesterday that led us to my bed, hot and naked. I thought that after experiencing the best man in bed, no man would ever satisfy me as much as Christian did. _Not just in bed, maybe you meant any flat surface that he could have you_. We did a lot of things that I've never imagine that I would try and actually did. I thought that him being in control was the 'It' for me. I thought that he ruined me for any other man who I could possibly have a relationship in the future. But I was so glad I was wrong.

With Gavin last night, it was just like my first time again. I wasn't that sore, but it had been a long time since my hoo-ha got some action. The three orgasms that I had were like living proof that my body hasn't turned into a stone after a year of celibacy.

Christian and I couldn't go a day without having each other, well except when we were fighting or he was on a business trip. He was the one who called the shots in the sex department. Even outside the bedroom he eventually got used to me defying him and doing my own thing but never in bed. It wasn't that I was complaining, he thought me everything since day one. He was my first and I thought my last too. So I got used to it and just followed his lead. Last night was different, I wasn't following Gavin, we were doing it together. Give and take equally. No toys, no holding off of orgasms, everything was plain 'vanilla'. But the feeling after those orgasms that I had was far from being plain. It was … damn it, I couldn't even find the right words to describe it! It was beyond mind-blowing that's for sure. And his massive manly hood… Oh my god. Just thinking about how thick and long it was, surely making me soaking wet! _You're sounding like a horny cat, Steele. Chill the fuck out, will you_?

I couldn't believe myself! My son's just in the living room and here I was having such raunchy thoughts that were making me think of changing my underwear. I shook my head and returned to the task in hand. I was cleaning the kitchen counter at the moment. Since it was Sunday, after lunch I decided that we'll just have some mother and son time together. Tiffany insisted that we should meet at lunch. She said she was dying to know all the details of the events of yesterday. Including 'my alone time' with Gavin. Good thing she canceled early morning because of some problems from her website.

I was about to head back to Ted when my phone rang. Kate.

"Hello."

"Steele! It's me Kate!" She said excitedly.

I rolled my eyes. "Calm down, I know it's you. You're in my contacts, right?" Seriously, this woman.

She giggled. "Oops, sorry. I am just excited with my news for you."

"What is it?" This should be interesting.

"See, I am working on a closed murder case that was recently opened again due to new-found evidences. And I need to get some scoop on the story and I need to interview the chief of Portland Police Bureau and those who used to handle the case."

"So you're coming down here in Portland?" I said with a big smile on my face. Now I know why Kate sounded so excited.

"Yes! The interview would only take few hours and then I'm free after that."

"That's great! When are you coming then?"

"Tomorrow, I have to meet the chief at the police station in the afternoon. So maybe we could do lunch first?"

"Yes, lunch would be perfect. I miss you, Kate. I can't wait to see you!" I said smiling brightly.

"Same here, Steele. I'll see you tomorrow!"

The next day, I met Kate at Danny's for lunch. Teddy didn't want to go because the day dare prepared his favorite burgers for lunch. I didn't mind because it's been a long time since Kate and I had lunch together and had our usual chat. The moment we sat down, we couldn't stop talking and even giggling like high school girls. It felt good to see my best friend again. We did see each other last week when she picked up Teddy, but that was way too brief. It was also good that Kate has now Ava, it was good to share the taste of motherhood with my best friend. Elliot's in town too. But Kate dropped him off to the site that he was going to work for the next month.

"I met new friends last week."

Her eyebrows rose up. "Oh?"

"Yeah, Cameron and Tiffany. You should meet them while you're here. Tiffany's like your long lost sister." I giggled. "Except for the hair, she's red head."

"Really? How?" Kate looked at me quizzically.

"When you see her, you'll know."

"Are you replacing me now with a red head, Steele?" She asked giving me her pouty look.

I chuckled. "No, Kavanagh. I am not. Don't be silly." I threw her a piece of my fries.

"Aww, you meanie!" She threw it back and I was able to dodge it but it went directly to the head of the person behind me.

"Sorry!" Kate said while I was trying really hard to hide my laughter. The man just glared at us and stood up. We both burst into laughter when the man left.

"Geez, Kate. You almost got us in trouble." I said still laughing.

"Hey, you started it!" She said sipping her diet coke. "God, I miss this. Everything's so different now, isn't it?"

I sighed. "Yeah."

"Seriously, how are you?" She asked with the worried look on her face.

I gave her small smile. "I'm fine. There's nothing to be worried about, Kate. Ted and I are living a normal life here in Portland and I couldn't ask for more."

She squeezed my hand lightly. "I'm glad then. I just want to make sure if you're happy with where you are right now. And you to know that anytime you can call me if you need anything, right?"

I nodded. "Yes, I will. And I'm happy Kate. I'm satisfied with everything I have right now." I paused for a bit. "And I met someone."

Kate's eyes widened. "What? Who? Where? When? And why are just telling me now?"

I laughed. "Calm down, Kate! Just one question at a time." Only she could ask all the WH questions from a simple statement.

"Calm down? How can I do that when you just said you met a guy? Come on Steele, I'm dying here! Who's this guy?" She said like a 5 year old girl. _Geez Kate_.

"Alright, alright." I said still laughing. "Remember that incident that I told you last week where Ted got almost hit?" She nodded enthusiastically. "And that he was saved by a cop? Well, we first met him when he was moving to the apartment next door— Kate?" I stopped when I realized that Kate was now staring past behind me with her mouth hanging open.

"Holy shit, Steele. Don't tell me that smoking hot cop who's now walking this way is that cop that you've met."

I turned and saw Gavin walking towards us. _Oh, good lord. He's in uniform_. He was walking with that manly grace that was like a magnetic force attracting every female eyes in the area. Some even with their partners were giving him a flirty looks. I rolled my eyes at them. Seriously, ladies he's not your lunch.

_Jealous, Steele_?

"Hey, Ana. I didn't know you were here." He said kissing my temple.

"Yeah, I'm just having lunch with my best friend Kate." I looked at Kate who was still gawking at Gavin. I kicked her under the table to get her attention. But the Katherine Kavanagh-Grey I know was still not present at the moment.

"Gavin, this is Kate, my best friend from Seattle. Kate this is Gavin." I kicked her again, and this time it seemed to work because she kicked me back.

"Hi." They shook hands. "It's nice to finally meet you. I heard a lot about you from Ana." Gavin said flashing her that panty combusting smile that seemed to be working on Kate because it took her a moment to respond.

Kate cleared her throat first. "Nice to meet you too, Gavin. Unfortunately, my best friend here's a little secretive these days that I didn't know she was hiding a personal police officer in her closet."

Gavin chuckled. What? Hiding a personal police office? I couldn't believe she said that.

"Kate!" I blushed. She just gave me a 'you're in serious trouble, Steele' look.

"My partner and I just had a brief talk with the owner and we were about to head back to the station." He said and I gestured for him to sit down.

"Kate is doing an interview with the Chief of PPB after lunch." I said as I felt his hand on my knee.

"Oh, so you're the Katherine Grey that the chief was expecting today."

"Yeah. I am hoping to get the side of his story about the case." She said giving Gavin her investigative look.

"Well, good luck. I hope he won't give you a hard time. He's a cranky old man." He said making us laugh.

"Since you'll be at the station, better witness the skills of the tenacious Katherine Kavanagh-Grey." I said looking up through my eyelids and smiled sweetly at him.

I felt him squeezed my knee and looked me in the eyes. "Oh, that would be interesting." He said with a low seductive voice that sent shivers down my spine. Holy fuck. Starting today, I would be bringing an extra pair of underwear if he would be giving me that look and seductive voice in a public place. _Calm down, Steele. You're best friend's just in front of you_.

Kate cleared her throat. "I think you're partner is now looking for you." She said and now couldn't keep her eyes off him. I didn't know what was happening but she's clearly ogling Gavin. I raised an eyebrow at her.

"I guess, I'm heading now. We need to get back as soon as possible." He leaned closer and gave me a brief kiss. "I'll call you later. Nice to meet you again Kate, I'll see you at the station."

I waved good-bye and turned back to Kate.

"You," She said pointing at me. "Anastasia Rose Steele, are going to tell me the full detail of how you met that Greek god cop that was just eye-fucking you and I don't give a damn if I would be late for that interview. You got me?" Oh, boy. The classic and original Katherine Kavanagh Inquisition's back.

* * *

"Damn Ana, you're one lucky girl. A cop and a cook? That's a hot combination." Kate said making me blush.

We were at Gavin's apartment drinking beer after a Greek style dinner served by Mr. Boxers himself. He called me in the afternoon asking if he could cook dinner for tonight. He also asked if we can invite Kate and he did when they met again at the station. I could tell that my best friend still hasn't recovered from the magical charms of Gavin. She couldn't stop staring at him. I find it really funny that she wasn't immune to Gavin's good looks and that she was liking him more with his cooking skills. I didn't know if she had small talk with Gavin or not, but they seemed to be getting along well so far. Kate didn't hide his dislike for Christian from the very first start of our relationship so it's kind of refreshing that she was clearly taken by Gavin.

Elliot joined us when he found my apartment empty. At first, I wasn't sure how Elliot would react with me being with Gavin. But after a few bottles of beer and a 'big brother' talk from Elliot, they were now joking and laughing together like long lost friends. I couldn't be happy enough knowing that they approved of Gavin even if they just met.

"Maybe we should take him home, right babe?" Elliot said with a serious look on his face and took a swig of his beer.

We all stared at Elliot like he grown three heads. "Babe? Please don't tell me you're gay." Kate said looking horrified at her husband.

Gavin and Elliot burst out laughing at Kate's expression. She smacked her husband's head but it didn't stop Elliot from laughing hysterically. Shaking my head I stood up and poured a glass of milk for my son who was busy playing in the living room with his Portable Play Station that his uncle Elliot bought him.

"Well, he was making me gay, babe!" I heard Elliot said earning him another smack in the head before I head out to my son.

I found my boy curled up on the couch sleeping like an angel. I pushed his copper curls off his face and kissed his chubby cheeks. He was growing up fast and the more he resembles his father, except for the eyes. I just hoped that Teddy would understand someday why his father and I divorced.

"He's asleep?" Gavin whispered leaning at the back of the couch. I didn't notice him coming right after me. I froze in my tracks. The look of him coming and chanting my name after my release clouded my mind. _Oh my god, Steele. You're in front of your son!_

"Ana?"

"Yeah. Sorry what was that?" I shook my head erasing those thoughts out of my head at the moment. I swear, it wasn't my intention to give a double meaning to it. _Really._

"I said we should take Teddy to bed. I could carry him to the guest room if you like." He crouched down beside me and touched my cheek. "Are you okay? You had too much drink already?"

I leaned in to his hand. "No, I'm fine. Yeah, we better transfer Ted to bed before he rolls off the couch and break an arm."

After we tucked Teddy into bed, Kate asked if they could just stay the night because she didn't want to risk driving late and they were both exhausted already. So they were borrowing my bedroom since Ted's in the guest bedroom of Gavin's and I have the choice to sleep on the couch or with Gavin. _Hmm, why does it sound like a Katherine Kavanagh scheme?_

We said our good nights and made our way on the couch.

Gavin wrapped his arms around me and I laid my head on his chest. "Wow." He said a little later.

I giggled. "I know. Sorry about those two but I'm happy that you already met them."

"I'll meet everyone that you would like me to meet as long as it will make you happy." He said kissing the tip of nose.

I smiled sweetly at him. "You're so sweet."

"I don't know about that but if being sweet is making you happy then damn I'll try to be as sweet as I can for you." I kissed the tip of his nose in return.

"Did Kate tell you something in the station when you invited her to dinner?" I asked as he cupped my breast through my shirt.

"Yeah. She said if she saw you crying because of me, she will cut off my balls and feed them to me." I cringed and heard him chuckled. "When I heard her say that, it made me wonder how you two became best friends."

"You're not the first one to say that." I let my hand roamed over his shirt-clad chest. "What about Elliot?" I already expected what Kate's lines would be, but with Elliot I wasn't so sure.

"He said and I quote 'I don't fucking care if you're a cop, I will fucking bury you 6 feet under if I ever see Ana cry, you got that?' and then even before I could respond to that he said and I quote again 'Damn, she got a taste of a pretty bad-ass guy huh?'" I laughed out loud after his imitation of Elliot's big-brother talk with him. I mentally sighed and felt relieved that it wasn't that bad after all.

"Geez, Elliot. I couldn't really understand him sometimes."

"Yeah and after that we just burst into laughter when he thought he sounded gay. But you know, I like how they are very protective of you. And Elliot told me his brother was your ex-husband." I sighed. I didn't expect that. "Don't worry, I didn't ask for any more details about his brother."

He cupped my cheek and stared intently into my eyes. "Listen, if I am going to learn anything from your past marriage, I'd rather hear it from you. Like what I've said, when you're ready, I'm just here." I nodded and wrapped my arms around his waist.

He put a hand under my chin and tipped my face up and captured my lips in a hungry kiss. It was a long, deep kiss, and I opened my mouth, inviting him in with a flick of my tongue. He was kissing me hard, his hand tangled in my hair, leaning me back as his lips moved down to my neck. He kissed and sucked my sensitive skin, driving me wild. I moaned when his hand went down and unzipped my pants. He slid his hand inside my panties and dipped two fingers into my wet core. He bit my erect nipple through my shirt as I felt his thumb brushed against my throbbing nub. He pressed again his lips to mine as I rode his hand and grasped his hair pulling him for a deeper kiss. I moaned into his mouth when he inserted another finger, pumping as fast as he could making my insides clenched tighter. He knew I was close so kissed me again eating all my moans and when he pinched my nipple hard, I came instantly.

He pulled out his hand and put it into his mouth licking and sucking all of my juices while looking straight to my eyes. "Mmm, my favorite taste in the world." He kissed me once more and lifted me into his arms. "Bed?"

* * *

**CHRISTIAN**

It had been a week since I saw her again. After 1 agonizing year of being apart, she had grown more beautiful but that innocent aura around her had never changed. Her long chestnut hair wild and sticking out in different directions, her skin looking so soft as ever, her lips, _Christ,_ her luscious, sweet lips that I love to bite and then her eyes, soulful big blue eyes that could see right through me. _God, I missed her so fucking much._

I couldn't stop the small smile that appeared on my lips when I remembered that she was still her grumpy self early in the morning. She was just wearing a robe back then and it took every ounce of my self-control to not pounce on her right there and then. And when I finally heard her voice again, in the flesh, I was like on cloud nine couldn't help but test her smart mouth that she still had. Then everything went wrong when I started asking her questions if she went out the night before. I was just so curious and worried about her and she wouldn't answer and she knew that I wasn't happy about it and lashed out on me that I wasn't in control anymore. The way her eyes turned dark at that time just killed the small hope of having a good reunion after a year. And what hurt the most was that she rejected my invitation to dinner without wasting a second.

"Taylor!"

"Mr. Grey."

"Any news about Ana?"

"Ms. Steele made some new friends from the past week. I already ran a background check for the two and they were clean, sir. No criminal records or any suspicious information about them." She has new friends, huh?

"Ladies?" I asked. I wouldn't let her be close to another man. Over my dead body.

"Tiffany Jones, 26 and Cameron Atkins 25."

"Cameron?" I said in a very familiar tone that Taylor perfectly knew that I wouldn't want the answer to be bad. _Fuck, Grey. If you won't change, how will you get Ana back? If she's making friends, then let her!_

"Cameron Atkins is a homosexual, Mr. Grey." I sighed in relief. I didn't know what I would do if I found out that Ana's moving on with another guy. I see red every time I think of it.

"That's all Taylor."

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. I couldn't give up. I would not give up. I would fight for my family. Ana's the only one for me. And I wouldn't let any fucker to grab this chance to take away my family. _I need to make my move now. _I took my blackberry out of my pocket and stared at the screen. "Ana, I miss you so much baby and Ted too. Just wait for me."

* * *

A/N: Hey guys! TGIF! All I could say right now is just **WOW**. You guys are amazing, thank you for the overwhelming positive reviews from the last chapter. I will never get tired of thanking you guys. I hope this chapter's worth the wait. I hate making you beg and wait, but with my 12+ working hours everyday, it's really hard to find time to write. But I'm doing my best because of your massive support for this story.

And I would like to thank those who were spreading the word about my story to the other authors. **Love you guys! **

And to those who always send PMs, you guys rock!

And I changed the **rating to M**.

I just wanna share the current book series that I'm reading: **With Me in Seattle by Kristen Proby. **And if you'd like to know my to-read books for this month, and the books that I've already read go check out my boards on **Pinterest** just search **ellabankss**

Thanks again! **RADIATE LOVE **

All mistakes are mine. Reviews are appreciated.


	17. Chapter 17

_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fifty Shades. Just this story. And NOT a professional writer. Just sharing my first ff.**_

**A/N: WARNING: Lemons alert! **

* * *

I was up early Saturday morning waiting for Christian to pick up Teddy for the second weekend of the month like what we've agreed the last time he was here. Teddy was over the moon after I told him that his dad was coming and they were going to DisneyLand. He was all over the place jumping and running around screaming 'Disney land!'. He even started packing his favorite shirts and toys that he would be bringing with him for the weekend trip with his Dad. He got a bit sad and almost thrown a tantrum when I told him that I wouldn't be joining them but Christian did a good job explaining on the phone that it was for 'boys only' adventure. His excitement doubled when his dad told him that Sawyer, Ryan and Taylor were also coming. Ted used to play a lot with the security before and he really liked them, no wonder he didn't put a fight when Sawyer 'kidnapped' him when he helped Gavin clear our misunderstanding the last time. _Boys, boys, boys._

Christian asked me to come too, but I flat-out refused. I knew it would upset Ted and of course I would want to see my son happy but I just couldn't do it yet. I couldn't pretend that everything was fine between me and Christian. The whole afternoon at the zoo, I did my best to be civil with him for the sake of our son but with a weekend trip long with him? That's a different story. I know he would take the chance to talk and convince me to come back to him. I just couldn't understand him. Why was he wasting his time begging for another chance? Why just now? I didn't even know if he contracted another sub after our divorce. Hell, or even now if he had a sub that he was whipping all day all night. I closed my eyes trying to calm myself and pushing those painful memories at the back of my head._I am happy now, I won't let him manipulate and control my life again_.

I shook my head and composed myself. I wouldn't let Christian see me weak and crying again. Never. I love my son more than anything in this world and I would do everything I could to make him happy and get what he deserved. And if that entailed him of spending more time with his dad and me seeing more of Christian, I would do it. For my baby boy, I would push aside the past for a bit and be civil every time that I would need to see or speak to his dad.

I waved goodbye to my son and returned Taylor's nod and ignored Christian's piercing stare half an hour later. I made my way up to my apartment to get ready for work. Since it's only half day in the bookstore, I was planning of bringing Gavin lunch since he would be tired to cook for himself after being on duty for 14 straight hours. He called me last night whining about the change of his shift for the night. He said he would rather spend those 14 hours in bed with me, hot and naked. He made blushed, hot and left wanting after he told me all the things he would do to me when he gets back home. He knew Ted would be away this weekend and I couldn't help but feel a bit jittery for what he had in store for us two since he would be off duty until Monday morning.

After an hour of cooking one of his favorites, Tomato and Mushroom Risotto and one quick look in the mirror checking myself, I was out the door to wake up Mr. Boxers.

After three knocks, my smile disappeared when the door opened and revealed a tall blonde woman wearing a white v-neck shirt and nothing else. Her hair was wet and I assumed that she just got out from the shower. She was a Scarlett Johansson type with a butterfly tattoo on her forearm. She looked young actually. Early 20's maybe? _Who's this blonde and what is she doing in Gavin's apartment half-naked?_

"Yes?" She said raising an eyebrow at me.

The irritated tone of her voice was like a message that I was disturbing something. _Should I go back to my apartment and just forget about Gavin? Is she Gavin's girlfriend? Or maybe his wife? Am I thinking about the wrong thing again?_ I looked at her ring finger and it was empty. Then I looked at her again and I felt something was a missed. Gavin and I were just starting something and for god's sake, we're neighbors. If he would be cheating on me at this early start of our relationship, he wouldn't be doing it in his apartment._Hmmm_.

So if this woman thought she could throw me out that easy and intimidate me with her fierce barbie look, she was clearly mistaken. _Nah ah ah, Missy_.

"I'm looking for the person who lives here. Gavin." I said in an even tone.

She gave me a once-over, from head to toe, toe to head before speaking. "He's in the shower. What do you want from my fiancé?"

_Fiancé?_ "I see." I nodded and looked passed through her and saw Gavin walking to the living room, wet from the shower and with a towel around his waist. He was talking on the phone and still hasn't noticed me on the door.

"So? What do you want?" The blonde said her tone getting more irritated.

"Nothing. Can you just tell him that an _Ana_," I said my name a bit louder to get Gavin's attention and it seemed to work because he was now looking at us with a worried look on his face "was looking for him. That's all. Good day." I said and gave her a fake smile.

I turned around and heard Gavin called my name. I tried to walk faster but even before I could reach the door to my apartment, he had me pinned against the wall.

"Ana, please listen first before you walk away." He muttered pressing his forehead to mine.

"Get off me."

"Please, Ana. Just listen first to what I have to say and then you can do whatever you want, even slap me again, I don't care. Just please listen first." He said in a deep voice begging and pleading. I looked into his eyes and all I could see was sincerity and honesty.

I sighed and closed my eyes. "Okay. But please get off me first." He quickly took a step back and released his hold on me.

"She's Melissa. A close family friend." A family friend huh?. "This morning, I was on my way home and saw her outside the station. She said she needed a place to stay for a few days and I took her in. That's why she's in my apartment. It's not what you're thinking."

"Not what I'm thinking? She said you're her fiancé." I said raising an eyebrow at him.

"What? She said that? What the hell." I could tell that he was also surprised that he had a fiancée.

He put a hand at the back of his neck like he was thinking of what to do next. That's when I just noticed that he was still wet, his hair dripping and his ripped chest and chiseled abs exposed making my body react to him in an instant. I knew with his expression that he was telling the truth, I just didn't know what was the deal of that Melissa saying such a lie. As my eyes scanned his waist down, I couldn't help but imagine what was behind that towel._Steele, focus. You have a situation here._

"Ana, I don't know why she said that but believe me I am not engaged to anyone. I swear." He muttered in a very sincere voice. "Our parents are very close and I treat her like a little sister. That's all."

I just stayed silent for a moment staring at his Greek-god body._Really, Steele. Acting mad but you were just taking your time ogling him. Poor guy._

"Please, Ana. Believe me please."

"Really." I crossed my arms. "Why is she half-naked then? She's wearing your shirt and clearly she just got out from the shower just like you." I decided to play and prolong his agony now that I was sure that he was telling the truth. We'll deal with that woman later.

"She took a shower first before me and I don't know why she's wearing my shirt. Damn it, I'll get Melissa. I can't let—"

I grabbed his arm and pulled his face to mine and kissed him. "We'll talk to her later. Kiss me first."

He looked at me in the eyes and then pushed me up against the wall, kissing me hard and fast. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he slipped his tongue inside my mouth and I moaned into his mouth.

"You believed me?" I nodded and kissed him. "You're not mad?" I bit his lips this time and kissed him again.

"Even though I believe that you're not engage to her, it doesn't mean that I am not mad."

He sighed. "If I only knew that she would bring trouble, I shouldn't have brought her here. I'm sorry."

"Go get dressed first. You're distracting me with—"

"With this?" He said grinding his towel-clad erection against mine. I laughed and smacked his arm and he captured my lips once again.

"Hey, stop it now will you? Lunch is ready. And you still have some explaining to do. Be ready in 5 or you're out, Officer."

"Yes, ma'am." He said with a salute.

* * *

"I'm sorry Ana, it won't happen again." Gavin muttered and sighed.

We're now back at my apartment after sharing the lunch that I've prepared, Gavin volunteered to wash the plates since I did the cooking. When he went back to his apartment to get dressed, he confronted Melissa about lying of being his fiancée. She told him that she thought I was just some random girl who was trying to get his attention and she was just trying to help him get rid of me by telling such a lie. He then told her to apologize to me but she just brushed him off saying that she was tired and needed some sleep.

Melissa was 8 years younger than him and he said that he always looked after her like a little sister. He also said that he'd never saw her anything more than that. I could tell by his expression that he truly did care for her but in a different way. _Maybe this Melissa likes him_? Who wouldn't like this hot cop/cook?

"It wasn't your fault anyway, so stop apologizing." I was glad that I did stick to my gut feeling that that woman was up to something.

"Melissa said she just broke up with her boyfriend and that she needed to get away for few days. She thought of me and went straight to Portland the next day. She didn't know where I exactly live, so she just waited for me at the station."

"She's going to stay with you? Why not stay at a hotel room then?" Were they really that close that she didn't mind staying in one place together?

He sighed. "I called her dad and informed him about Melissa's sudden visit. He was worried that she might do something stupid and was relieved that she was staying with me." After drying his hands, he grabbed me by the waist and pinned me against the counter. "But if you don't like it, and if it makes you uncomfortable that she's going to stay with me, I'll get her a room at the Heathman or other fine hotel here in Portland."

I wrapped my arms around his neck. "No, it's alright. And besides who am I to decide whether she stays or not in your apartment. It's your place not mine." I shrugged.

"But—"

"No buts. Her parents trust you and if they are worried that she might do something she might regret, then it's better that someone is going to look after her for few days before she goes home." I cupped his cheek and loving the feel of his stubble brushing against the palm of my hand.

He leaned in to my touch. "Okay." He pulled me closer, wrapping his hands around my waist and crushed his lips into mine. His soft lips worked against mine in sync. His lips nibbled and teased, and then pressed more firmly as he deepened the kiss. His tongue slid across my lips and thrust inside my mouth. I opened for him and moaned when he grind against me. He cupped my breasts through my shirt and he began squeezing and massaging.

"You're so kind. Did you know that?" He muttered when he came up for air. His hands traveled down my butt cheeks, he cupped them and squeezed tight. He let out a sexy growl as he continued to grind his erection to mine. "I want you, Ana."

I bit his lips and trailed kisses along his jaw down to his neck. He cocked his head to the side giving me full access to worship his neck with my lips and tongue. I licked and nipped at his throat savoring the spot where his spicy scent was lingering the most. He groaned as I bit his neck leaving a reddish mark.

"Wrap your legs around me." He said capturing my lips again as he lifted me up and carried me to the couch. He sat back down with me straddling his hips.

Gavin cupped my jaw and pulled me to him for a searing kiss. I slid my tongue into his mouth and he growled, stroking my tongue with his own. His hand twisted into my hair, holding me to him. He devoured my mouth for several long minutes and then pulled back and stripped his shirt over his head and tossed it aside.

I placed my hands into his broad shoulders then down to his chest caressing and grazing down to his hard abs, tracing each muscle. His hands found my thighs and his grip tighten when I flicked my tongue over his nipple. He groaned loudly as I stroked his huge erection through his jeans.

"Ana."

I pulled his zipper down and went on my knees in front of him. He helped me pushed his pants and boxers down and there was his huge cock standing tall, thick and proud. _What a_ _nice way to describe a man's penis, Steele._ I licked my lips and grabbed his hard member and started stroking it. He groaned when I squeezed his cock tighter and stroked faster. And then I slowly licked from the base all the way to the head and tasted his leaking pre cum.

"Fuck, Ana." He purred a low sexy sound coming from deep in his throat.

I continued to lick up and down his shaft, flicked my tongue around the head and sucked it hard like I couldn't get enough. Then I moved down to his balls taking them into my mouth one by one, all while stroking his cock with my hand. He was really moaning now, as I sucked away and took him deep and into the back of my throat. He cupped the back of my head as I sucked the head, getting the motion going and feeling the head pulse bigger and bigger. I took him deep once again, the head of his cock hitting the back of my throat and I felt him stiffen and knew that he was close.

"Ana, wait. I want to be inside you." I licked and sucked for the last time and then stood up. "You're so fucking hot. Strip for me." He growled and took his hard cock into his hand and stroked himself.

I felt the wetness between my legs as I watch him pleasure himself while looking at me with wanton desire in his light blue eyes. I slowly pulled my dress up, revealing my matching red lacy underwear that I recently bought with Tiffany the other day after she relentlessly pursued me to buy more sexy lingerie for Gavin. Good thing that I had some extra dough from my first pay check.

I unclasped my bra and let it fall from my body.

"Ana." He sat up straight and pulled me closer to him. He squeezed my behind as he nuzzled his way to my panty-clad wet core. "Fuck. You smell so damn good. You're so wet for me, aren't you my lady?"

I moaned as he extended his tongue and licked my soaked panties. He then peeled them off down to my legs and felt his fingers brushed my clit. He pressed a kiss to my lower stomach as he slowly parted my slick folds. I gripped his shoulders as I felt my knees nearly buckled when he dipped two fingers inside me.

"Gavin…" He thrust his fingers faster inside me in and out but then stopped and grasped my waist pulled me down to him and I was now straddling his hips once again.

"Ride me, Ana." His eyes skimming greedily over my body.

He picked up his pants and drew out a foil packet and tore it open. I helped him slid down the condom to his massive shaft.

"Always ready huh?" I cocked my head to the side.

He smirked. "A man can hope, right?"

He kissed me hungrily and I kissed him back with the same fervor. Gently his fingers stroked my clit. Again and again they brushed over me, the pressure and speed gradually increasing, and within moments I was rubbing against his hand. And then he lifted my hips, impaling me on his rock hard cock and I groaned with the sensation of being filled completely. As he continued to kiss me I started to move, rocking my hips. I squeezed his cock with my inner muscles and he groaned.

"Ana! Oh fuck!"

I moaned as he cupped my breasts and stroked my nipples quickly, sending surges of electricity though me. My wet core started to pulse around him as I felt my release building so quickly. He was so big and the friction inside me was incredible.

"You're so tight, Ana. Fuck yes, ride me hard."

One of his hands moved to the small of my back holding me to him and the other gripped my hip. I lifted up letting him slide out almost completely before taking him back inside. He thrust up into me meeting my rhythm. I could tell he was holding on to his control by a thin thread and I increased my pace. At this angle I easily took the length of him inside, and every stroke of him in and out hit my G-spot perfectly. I arched my back with the pleasure. "Oh god, Gavin!"

Our movements became frantic as we approached the edge. Gavin grunted his exertion and my breath came in quick gasps. My motion started to falter as my body clenched and shook. His hands tightened around my waist as he pounded into me even harder. My inner muscles squeezed his cock hard and we climaxed together. We both cried out with the power of the orgasm.

"Fuck, Ana."

I collapsed against Gavin's ripped chest and he rested his head on my shoulder. His hot puffs of breath tickled my skin as I worked to catch my own.

I turned my head so that I could see his light blue eyes. "So, what's our plan for this weekend Mr. Boxers?"

* * *

"Hey, I'm just going to the restroom."

Gavin stood. "You want me to go with you?"

"No, it's okay." I leaned closer to him and pressed my body against him. "And besides you can't enter the ladies room, honey." I winked and smiled sweetly at him and walked towards the restrooms. I just chuckled when I heard him growl.

We decided to spend our Saturday night with Tiff and Cam at Bar 360. We stayed the whole afternoon at my apartment with DVDs, snacks and lots of sex. Really hot sex. Gavin was insatiable. He couldn't keep his hands off me. I was very sure that after the shower sex I was sore enough and needed a break. Now I was suffering the effects of one year of abstinence. _You need to hit the gym now, Steele_. I was thinking about getting back on shape and a visit to a doctor to get myself on the pill again. I didn't want to take the risk, because we might forget to put a condom anytime. _Be careful, Steele. It isn't the best time to get pregnant._

As I entered the ladies room, it was empty. So I tried to finish my business as soon as possible. I washed my hands and quickly dried them and remade my minimal make up and put on some lip gloss. I was ready to head back when the door opened and a blonde woman came in and stopped in front of me.

"Melissa right?"

She just looked at me from head to toe then back to my face. She cocked her head to the side and raised an eyebrow at me.

"I wonder what Gavin saw in you. You're just a plain brunette. He doesn't do plain."

_What the hell? What does this woman want with me? Gavin doesn't do plain? _

"Listen." I said trying to sound calm as possible even though all I wanted to do right now was to strangle her neck. "I don't know what your problem is. I don't even know you. So if you have any concerns, why don't you just ask Gavin and he might give you the answers."

She snorted. "You listen, plain brunette. Once he wakes up from whatever spell you put on him, he's going to dump you so fast and realize that there's no one for him but me."

I laughed. "Then that would be a nightmare, don't you think?"

"Bitch! What did you—"

The door opened and Tiffany came right in. "What's happening here? Ana?"

Melissa composed herself and turned back to me. "I warned you. Prepare yourself for a heartbreak, Miss Plain Brunette." And with that she walked out.

"Who the hell was that, Ana?' Tiff asked looking confused.

"I'll tell you later. We need to go back first." She nodded and after a minute we headed back out to the guys.

I honestly didn't have any idea what that woman was saying. It was really obvious that she likes Gavin and quite obsessed with him. I wonder if he was aware of it. But nonetheless, if she thought I would back down then she was gravely mistaken. _Bring it on, bitch. You're messing with the wrong brunette._

* * *

A/N: Now. now everyone. I know you're anxiously waiting for the pissing contest, but why don't we let our girl Ana have her fun first, right? We have a new character named Melissa. What do you think of her?

Lemme know what you think of the whole chapter. Don't be shy, **REVIEWS** please! I love love love reading your reviews. You can always make my toxic day into a happy one. Or you can send me a PM anytime. Or you can tweet me! Just look me up, same username.

Welcome to the new readers and followers and favorites!

As always. **MASSIVE THANK YOU!** Again, I hoped I did okay with the lemons *fingerscrossed*

Mistakes are all mine.


	18. Chapter 18

**__****DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fifty Shades. Just this story. And NOT a professional writer. Just sharing my first ff.**

* * *

**CHRISTIAN**

"Why it's taking you so long to give me those fucking numbers Elliot? My next appointment should be here now any minute, so hurry the fuck up." Damn Elliot, always making troubles by losing important receipts.

"Wait, bro. Just hold on a second. I know I just placed it on the top of the counter."

"Well, I got no time for this shit. Just send me—"

_'Babe! She won't answer the phone!_' I stopped talking when I heard Kate yelled on the other line. Who's she talking to?

_'Just call her later, then. Maybe she's with the cop doing nasty things!'_ Elliot shouted back and laughed.

_'Damn, lucky girl!'_ I heard them both laughed again.

I frowned. I wonder who they were talking about.

"Elliot, who's—"

"Got it!" He said even before I could finish my question. "Are you ready to write it down?"

I cleared my throat. "Yeah, hurry up." I decided to just ignore it. Surely, it wouldn't be my Anastasia, right?

**ANA**

"Hey, are you alright? You've been quiet since you came back from the restroom." Gavin asked touching my cheek with his knuckles.

I took a sip of my lemon drop martini and looked around. After that talk in the ladies room, I decided to look around first and see if that Melissa would approach Gavin and join us. But after thirty minutes, there was no sign of her. Maybe she left already and just went here to warn me about the 'heartbreak' that I was going to experience with Gavin.

Tiffany had been giving me questioning looks but I refused to tell her yet because I needed to talk to Gavin first.

I found Melissa's words kind of odd. He had been perfect from the start and so understanding and patient. He knew from the start that if he would get involved with me, it wouldn't be not just me, with my son too. They get along so well and looked natural together. And when he looked at me, it's like I was the only woman he could see. And I could feel that he was sincere with his intentions. _Is that Melissa telling the truth about him? He said she's a family friend, right?_

I shook those thoughts from my mind. I needed to get to the bottom of this before I make my move. I wouldn't make the same mistake of hitting him first without knowing the truth.

"Gavin, can I ask you something?"

"Anything." He said facing me and giving his full attention.

Taking a deep breath, I looked at him straight in his light blue eyes. "What's your relationship with Melissa?"

His brows furrowed like he was taking in my question. If he was going to answer it or ask why I was asking, I wasn't sure. He then took my hand into his and sighed. "Melissa is like a little sister to me and my sister Georgia. She was being bullied by kids around her age the time we met her. We helped her out and since then, she was glued to us wherever we go. But because of our age differences, we couldn't really stick together, me joining the military then my sister with her career, so she was left behind. But after all these years we stayed close like a family."

"I see." I nodded. He looked really clueless that his so called 'little sister' have some feelings for him and saw him more than just a big brother. "Did you tell her where we are right now?"

"I told her before we left that we're going out tonight and the name of this bar. Why? Did you see her around? She didn't tell me she was coming." He looked around for her like what I was doing awhile ago.

"She followed me in the ladies room."

"What? Did she do something to you? Oh I swear, that woman." He said pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I'm fine. I can take care of myself you know." Here it goes. "She told me some things."

"What did she say?"

"She warned me that you will leave me brokenhearted." I said and looked straight into his eyes.

He frowned looking confused. "She said what—?" Before he could finish someone tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey G. You didn't tell us you'll be here. The chief's with us, come on, do you have a minute?" The guy who I assumed was an officer too looked to the both of us.

"I can't—"

"No, it's alright. Go." I cut him off before he could say no to the guy. He sure looked excited to see Gavin here and I didn't want to spoil they're fun.

Gavin sighed. "Why do people always cut me off when I wanted to say something?" He said looking seriously annoyed but failed when I laughed.

I pinched his cheek. "You're so cute." He made a face that just made me laugh harder. "Go, greet them first, then come back and we'll continue."

He leaned in and gave me swift kiss. "10 minutes."

I turned back and saw Tiff and Cam staring intently at me. Cam had this dreamy look on his face while Tiff looked like she was ready to fire her 101 questions at me.

"You look so good together." Cam sighed. "The way he looks at you and giving his full attention… I want my own Gavin too."

"Dream on, Camy." Tiff rolling her eyes at Cam. "And now girlfriend, who was that blonde Barbie at the restroom? An ex of Gavin? What does she want? Did she harass you?" She asked firing a question after a question. As expected of the red-headed Kate.

I was about to answer her when I saw Melissa at the corner of my eyes. She was at the bar talking with a man that looked familiar. It looked like she was refusing the man to buy her a drink. She glanced to her side and saw me looking at her. She then quickly turned around and walked away, pushing the man who was blocking the way. The man looked pissed and when he turned around, I then saw his face clearly. It was the mustache guy who tried to hit on me few weeks ago! He quickly followed Melissa to wherever she was heading. _Oh shit, she's in trouble!_

I stood up and told Tiff that I would be right back. I followed them and saw the moustache guy walked out the bar. I ran out trying to catch up with him. I was able to squeeze past through the crowd, since it was Saturday, the bar was packed. Luckily, I made it out when the mustache guy was just about to turn to an alley.

I have a bad feeling about this. Did Melissa turn to that alley too? But why? I wasn't sure if the mustache guy was alone. Where's the one with the tattoo? Shit. Crap. Shit. Should I go back and just get Gavin? What if I was just thinking the worst? Maybe Melissa went to a different direction? What if she was cornered? _You're going to get yourself into trouble, Steele. Why are you even helping her? Just a while ago, you were just a plain brunette to her right?_

Screw this. I have no time. So I walked faster down the alley that the mustache guy went to. As I was approaching the corner, I could hear a woman's voice that sounded like she was cursing and struggling. _Melissa!_

I ran to the alley and saw her being cornered by the mustache guy and another man who was wearing a cap. The tattoo guy! I knew it. Those fucking assholes. I was contemplating if I should go get help from someone because clearly I was no match to the two goons or should I make my presence known and maybe they would let her go. _Duh, Steele. You kicked the other guy's balls the last time, right? They could make you pay if you go there alone_.

I was about to turn around to get some help when the mustache guy grabbed Melissa's arm and was about to drag her to the corner. I didn't think twice and grabbed myself an old cane from the boxes on the ground and quickly made my way towards them.

"Hey! Let her go!" I shouted in a brave voice. I think it did work because the three of them were startled by the sound of my voice. _Keep calm._ _You could do this_ I was breathing heavily as I approached them. _Oh, god._ They might bolt out if they see that I have some kind of a weapon. _Seriously, an old cane_? If it doesn't work, I could try to use the self-defense moves that Ray taught me. _Or maybe you could go try and scream for help, Steele!_

"Well, what do we have here?" The mustache guy who clearly recognized me. "The lovely lady from before decided to join the party." He said with that creepy grin on his face and still holding Melissa's arm.

"I said let her go!" I tried again, sounding desperately brave.

"Or what?" The tattoo guy wearing the same creepy grin on his face. "You gonna kick me in the balls again, sugar?" He said in a mocking tone.

"No. I'm going to crush them this time." I said holding tightly to the old cane and still trying to look brave enough even though I was feeling the opposite inside. _You're doing well, Steele. Just try to look tough. Maybe someone would pass by and would try to help_.

They just both laughed at me. "Oh, sugar. I would love for you to try that." Said the tattoo guy.

Yes, that's right. I just have to keep them talking until someone would walk pass the alley and sees us or I was hoping that maybe Cam or Tiff followed me out or maybe Gavin was now looking for me. And where the hell was the security detail that Taylor hired?

_Please hurry up. Someone. _

I tried to focus on the situation in front of me. If plan A, which was to keep them talking didn't work, I would try to wait for them to attack me first then I would counter just like what Ray told me. '_Analyze first what the attacker might do then attack them once they drop their guard down_'.

"I said get off me, you bastard!" Melissa trying to break free from the mustache guy.

"You know this is a crime right? The police are on their way and you both will end up in jail." I tried to threaten them and then maybe they would just run off.

"The fighter in you is just making you hotter than the blondie, sugar. You're mine tonight." He said bringing his hands together. The way he looked at me like he was about to devour me made my knees buckle, this time buckle not in a sexual way but by being horrified. _On, no please. Just a bit longer._

He was approaching me now like a predator salivating over his prey. I took a step back trying to widen the space between us. I could see Melissa still struggling to break off the hold of the mustache guy. But when our eyes met, I knew she was planning to do something. So I just nodded and then in one swift move, Melissa kicked the shin of the mustache guy that stumbled back and released his to hold to her and grasped his leg.

"Fuck!" The mustache guy cried out. Melissa then kicked his other leg making the mustache guy fall on his ass.

"What the hell?" The tattoo guy turned around and I used the chance to hit his back using the old cane that I have.

"Ah! Shit!" He went on his knees crying out in pain reaching for his back. I dropped the old cane and ran towards Melissa and grabbed her up.

"Let's get out of here." She looked shell-shocked and scared that she couldn't stand by herself. I wrapped my arms around her and tried to pull her up. But even before we could stand up straight, someone grabbed me by the arms and pushed me back to the wall.

Fuck. My back hit the wall hard.

"You think you could bring me down with just that huh? Not this time sugar." The tattoo guy looking more dangerous this time.

Shit.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger! I would like you to know that I do appreciate all those suggestions and ideas that you guys are sharing with me. Also I would like to thank Anisurnois author of The Master's Muse *one of the best and unique FSOG ff* for taking time to read and sending me a message about my story and giving some wonderful ideas. I came up with the thought of putting all of your ideas together. So **THANK YOU SO MUCH! YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!** **800+ reviews**? You got to be kidding me. Haters gon' hate! lol

And shout out to all of my new and old guest reviewers! You guys totally rock xxx

As always mistakes are all mine.


	19. Chapter 19

_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fifty Shades. Just this story. And NOT a professional writer. Just sharing my first ff.**_

He was about to pounce on me when I saw Melissa picked up the old cane and tried to hit him in the head. But unfortunately, the moustache guy was able to grab the cane even before she could swing it and he tossed it aside. Melissa took a step back immediately and looked scared than ever because the moustache guy seemed to recover fast from her attack earlier.

"Not this time, Barbie girl." Then he turned to the tattoo guy and patted him on the back. "Watch your fucking back, buddy. You almost—"

"Oh shit!" The tattoo guy cried in pain and reached for his back. "Fuck you, that hurt!" I guessed I hit him hard with the cane awhile ago. I looked at Melissa and just realized that it was the best time to run. The tattoo guy seemed to be still hurting and the other one was still limping so I mouthed 'Run' to Melissa and she nodded back, sign that she understood. So I didn't waste a second and nodded again at her this time we ran as fast as we could.

"Fuck!" I heard the one of them cursed and felt them running to behind us.

But even before I could reach the main road, I felt a hand grabbed my hair and pulled me back down forcefully. My head hit the ground this time and when I tried to stand up, I felt the place spinning around me so I closed my eyes.

"Ana!" I tried to open my eyes when I heard his voice. And the last thing I knew before I blacked out was Gavin knocking the tattoo guy down. _We're safe_.

I woke up to the sound of hush voices. My head was pounding like I got hit by a baseball bat. Not that I got hit by a baseball bat before but I felt light-headed. Slowly, I opened my eyes and welcomed by a lighter blue eyes with worry written all over them.

"Hey."

"Hi." Geez. I couldn't even recognize my own voice.

Gavin leaned closer and cupped my face. "Welcome back." He caressed my cheek with his thumb. "Thank god, you're awake. I was so damn worried."

"Ana!" Tiff and Cam rushed to my bed side.

"Hey guys." I tried to smile a little just to lift up their worried faces.

"I'm going to get the doctor." Said Cam who stepped out of the room quickly.

"How are you feeling?" Gavin asked his eyes scanning my face thoroughly.

The events of last night came back flashing on my mind. Seeing Melissa at the bar, warning me off Gavin, following her outside then being cornered by the two goons who tried to hit on me before.

"I'm okay. Where's Melissa?" I lied knowing they would worry more if I told them my head was killing me.

"No you're not okay, Ana." Tiff gave me a pointed look. "Capital PAIN is written on your forehead, girlfriend. Let's wait for the doctor to check you out."

"But I—"

Gavin cut me off. "Hey, she's alright. We need to check on you first, okay?" He said squeezing my hand and I instantly felt that warm comfort from his touch. And when I looked at him in the eyes again, I saw something other than worry. Anger? Guilt? _Is he blaming himself for what happened to me? _Oh no.

"Gavin…" I called out but at the same time the door opened and Cam with a middle aged woman in a white coat came in. He just nodded at me and let the doctor check me out.

"Anastasia Steele, I'm Dr. Stevens." I nodded. She then began to check from my head to my back which I still feel some kind of pain when I turn around or move to my side. _Damn those goons._

"Aside from the bruises on your back and the headaches that you're feeling right now, everything's fine. You have no concussion or any head trauma. You can go home after you get some rest here since Officer Boyle insisted that you stay here a little longer just to make sure in case something happens." She began to write down something on what seemed to be my chart. "And I will prescribe some pain killers for you, so you don't have to worry about the pain for now."

"Thank you Dr. Stevens." She just nodded and left.

Cam and Tiff said their goodbyes too after a few moments because they weren't allowed to stay longer, since Gavin was going to stay with me the whole night.

"Gavin, I can go home now. I don't need to stay here overnight." I insisted since I didn't really want to stay longer in the hospital. "It's just a waste of money for me to stay here."

"Don't worry about that, I got everything covered."

"What do you mean by that? And I don't want to cause any more trou—" Oh shit. The security detail! What happened to him? Crap, for sure Taylor already knew about the incident. Would he tell Christian? _Yes, Steele. Didn't he say that if there was a threat, he won't hesitate to tell Christian?_

"Ana? What's wrong?" Gavin was quickly at my side when he sensed me panicking.

"The security?" And I after I realized about that matter, I needed to know what happened and how did I get to the hospital bed that I was in right now. "And can you tell me what happened after I blacked out? The last thing I could remember was you calling my name."

Gavin then told me how he found out that I was missing at the bar. It was a few minutes after he left our table when a sudden fist fight happened near the entrance of the bar. They managed to break up the fight and then one of the guys that were involved approached him and said that he was my security. Gavin describe him as tall black man who had a body of a wrestler. He told Gavin that he was trying to follow me out when the security bumped into a drunk guy at the entrance of the bar, that drunk guy thought that the security bumped into him intentionally, so the drunk guy punched the security unguarded. So that was the reason why the security wasn't there to help me out even before I could find Melissa being harassed by the goons. And then when they were out on the side walk Gavin heard Melissa's scream, that was the time the we made our run and I didn't realize she did scream for help since I was held back and smashed to the ground. Gavin's expression turned from being concerned to cold and murderous when he was recalling how he saw the tattoo guy attacked me. And that was the time that I noticed his knuckles were swollen. _No, shit Sherlock. He surely did beat the shit out of those goons_.

I asked what else did he do to the goons but he just brushed me off saying they were in jail already. And then he managed to distract me back to the security that was now just outside the room. I told him that I wanted to see the security.

"Ms. Steele." And there he was the tall black guy who had the body of a wrestler. Boy he was big enough to lift an elephant... No shit. I knew him!

"Hey, you're one of the guys who deliver the books at Al's!"

He nodded. "Yes. But I just volunteered to help so I could be close to you, Ms. Steele."

More like stalking. But of course I didn't say that out loud. Gavin was listening intently to us and I didn't want him to kick this guy's ass for stalking me. Even if Taylor hired him as a 'security', without my consent it could be a case of stalking.

"I would like to apologize to what happened to you, Ms. Steele. I was—" I held up a hand to stop him. If there was someone to blamed with what happened, it would be myself. But then again, if I just left Melissa, they could have taken her somewhere else already while I was getting help. _Seems like a very similar incident like before, right Steele?_

I sighed. Yeah, just like the Jack Hyde incident where he kidnapped Mia and blackmailed me. I was pregnant back then with Ted and was thanking the heavens that my stupidity didn't cost my unborn son's life. But then again, Mia's life was at stake too at that time. _Why do I always end up in this kind of situation?_

"It wasn't your fault."

"But Ms. Steele—"

"Does Taylor know already? Did you call him?" I asked even thought I was one hundred percent sure he did call already.

"I was trying to get a hold of him, Ms. Steele. But it seems that they were still in the air, so I just left a voicemail." I was wishing that Taylor wouldn't tell Christian about this. Not until he talked to me first.

"Okay, that's all."

"Yes, Ms. Steele. I would be just outside the room just in case. Officer Boyle managed to convince the hospital management to let me stay and guard. I sincerely apologize again." I just nodded at him before he left.

I closed my eyes feeling exhausted already to the events of the night. "What an action packed Saturday night, eh?" I tried to joke but it seemed like Gavin wasn't in the mood for it.

Sighing, he sat on the bed and laced our fingers together. "Ana, I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" He couldn't blame himself with the consequences of my actions, could he?

"I wasn't there to protect you. You were hurt and Melissa," he closed his eyes like he was controlling his rage "she was almost taken and god knows what they could have done to her if you didn't follow her. And for that, I am very grateful to you but damn it, you got hurt in the process."

"It's kind of a stupid—"

"Yes, it was stupid to just go there alone without getting help. But I knew you were thinking that they could be gone the minute you take off and get some help." He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "But I would never call you stupid. You're the bravest woman I know. Damn, Ana. When he grabbed your hair, I just lost it. That fucker was lucky I didn't have my gun with me. I could have killed him right there and then." He leaned closer and ran his nose along mine. "Just please, promise me you will never do that again. Please."

"I promise." I said and kissed the tip of his nose. I looked at his swollen knuckles and I could tell that they needed to be checked out. "I'm okay now. You came, right? You need to get that checked, please. And I wasn't seriously injured. Trust me, I experienced something worst than this."

He frowned. "What do you mean worst? Did-" Oh shit. Me and my big mouth.

"No. Not what you're thinking." I shook my head.

"They why-" I cut him off again.

"Please?" I knew I was being unfair to him. He had been patient from the start, but I knew eventually he would want to know more than just tidbits of my past. But this wasn't the right time to talk all about that. _Then, when Steele? When he had enough already? _

"I understand." He said but his face wasn't hiding the fact the he wasn't happy with the way I brushed the subject off.

He looked away and stood up. "I'm going to the nurse station and see if they can help me with this." He held up his injured hand and made his way to the door. "Try to get some rest now. I'll be back as soon as I can." He nodded at me once and then he was gone.

_Way to go, Steele! You're fucking things up, big time. _Why did I have to mention that? I already know he was still feeling guilty about what happened then I drop some bomb from the past of course he would want to know. I closed my eyes and blamed myself for fucking hundredth time. As if it could do something to rectify the situation.

I heard the door opened and I thought Gavin was back.

"Ana?"

My eyes flew open quickly with the worried sound of Melissa's voice.

"Melissa."

She was the same blonde barbie but with a softer eyes. She looked good and well that you wouldn't even know that she was harassed by some mean goons outside the bar and almost got taken just few hours ago.

"Can I talk to you just for a bit? I know you were supposed to be resting, but I-"

"Yes, it's fine. Take a seat." Well, that was unexpected. Surely the fierce barbie that confronted me in the ladies room was nowhere to be found at the moment.

"I would like to say thank you first." She started. "If you didn't come, I wouldn't be here or they might had their way with me. That creepy guy at the bar kept pushing himself on me even I said no for 10 times already. And then you saw me so I thought I would just go home. But the creepy guy had a friend who dragged me to an alley while he waited for the other one to catch up." She swallowed. "Really, thank you. I know I didn't deserve your kindness but I'm very grateful for what you did."

"That is nothing, Melissa. I'm sure anyone would do the same thing if they were in my shoes right?"

"I wouldn't be sure about that, those two goons were sure scary that I wouldn't like to go near them and you said people would do what you did?" She raise an eye brow. "I don't think so. A normal woman would run for help rather than pick something as a weapon and bravely threaten the goons." Then she gave me a once over, this time in a friendly way. "And I think we've already established that you weren't like any other woman." She said in very serious tone that made me laugh.

She sighed. "And then I wanted to say sorry for being a bitch too. From this afternoon then the talk in the restroom. First of all, I already knew you even before I came here and stayed with Gavin." Oh? That made me raised an eyebrow at her but didn't say anything. "Ever since Gavin met you, he would always mention your name whenever he calls his parents or me even his sister, believe me, you were the only one he talks about and your son."

"Ted." I said with a nod. I was all he talked about whenever he calls his family?

"Yes, he's clearly very smitten of you and your son. So I thought about visiting him and check you out. I planned to provoke you to make you show your true colors just what his exes did years before."

"What did you mean by that?" I asked not quite catching what she was trying to say.

"Did he mention his past relationships to you?"

"Yeah, he said he had 3 serious relationships..."

"Did he tell you why it didn't work out?"

I tried to remember the night we talked about our past relationships. "No, he didn't say exactly why."

"I see." She said looking seriously in deep thought. "I know, I don't have the right to tell you all the details but let me tell you this. They all broke his heart. They didn't love him. He was just used by those bitches." She said with pure hatred to Gavin's exes.

"Used him? How?"

"At first, they all acted lady like and innocent. But after they learned that Gavin gives his all when he falls for someone, they took advantage of him by demanding him to buy everything they wanted. Yes, he's a mean bad ass cop, but when he's in love, he gets so stupid and blind. And you see, Gavin is not just a cop. His parents are into real estate business. So his bank account isn't surely owned by just a simple cop."

Holy crap. That explains his mean car and the booster seat! Why didn't I think about that before? _Of course, you were distracted by Mr. Boxers himself. _

"Why are you telling me all of this now?"

"Because I know now that you were nowhere like those low bitches that he used to date. You have a very kind heart, even if I was all but rude to you, you still risked yourself just to save me from those scumbags. If I were you, and you did what I did to you, making you jealous and all, I would leave you be in that dark alley with the scumbags." I laughed at the way she talked. Fierce barbie was back. "But hey, you were different. Now I partly know why Gavin is so into you."

"He is?" I said blushing.

"What? You didn't know? Ana, he got it bad. Believe me."

I was about to say something when I heard a commotion outside.

"Where is she?" Said by a very familiar voice.

Oh shit. He's here.

**CHRISTIAN**

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

How could Ana be attacked if she had a security detail watching her every move? Fucking useless. I would definitely fire that useless SOB when I get there.

We just landed at Sea-tac when Taylor approached me with an alarmed expression on his face. I knew in an instant that something happened either to my family in Seattle or to Ana. And when he reported that Ana was attacked and injured, I didn't waste another minute and drive as quickly as I could to Charlie Tango, the fastest way of transportation to reach Portland. Taylor went with me while Sawyer and the other securities brought a sleeping Ted to Elliot and Kate's and then would be driving to Portland.

We had an amazing time in Disney Land. Teddy was very happy said he wanted to go back again. Even without Ana, I managed to enjoy the trip with my son. They were the only ones who could make me happy. No one else.

And now, I was anxious to get to Portland to see my Ana. God, I swear, I would fucking destroy those bastards that attacked her. They will fucking pay for hurting her. And I would make sure to get her the best security next time. I wouldn't allow this to happen again. Fuck. I just hope that she wasn't badly injured. Taylor was trying to get more information but he couldn't get a hold of the fucking security.

When the car stopped in front of the hospital, he quickly jumped out and ran towards the information desk.

"Anastasia Steele, please." The lady refused to give him the room number of Ana at first because it was too late for any visits, but when he introduced himself as the CEO of GEH and that he knew the owner of the hospital and was the ex-husband of the patient, in a dom voice, the lady didn't think twice in giving Anastasia's room number.

He saw the security standing next to the door and thought that at least the useless fucker didn't leave her side.

"Mr. Grey." Said the security who was clearly surprised to see him so soon.

"You, we'll talk later. Where is she?" The security then gestured to the door and he quickly opened it and found his Ana in bed with a blonde woman, who he didn't recognize, sitting near her.

"Ana." He felt relieved at the sight of her still in one piece. No broken bones or anything serious.

"Christian? What are you doing here?" Oh it felt so fucking good to hear her voice again.

"Ana, I heard of what happened. So I immediately flew here to check on you. Are you alright? Are your hurting-?" She cut me off and gestured for me not to come closer. Fuck.

"Oh, I'm very sure you've heard of the incident." She said back in a snarky remark of 'heard'. Shit, she knew about the security?_ You're in deep shit trouble, Grey. _

"And where's Teddy?"

"Sawyer brought him to Elliot and Kate's from the airport, since he was sleeping and I didn't want to bring him with me and wake him in his sleep. He'll surely throw a tantrum." I noticed the blonde woman observing our exchange. _Who the fuck is she anyway?_

I took a step forward and tried to speak in a very soft manner as I could. Maybe Ana would listen to me and let her take care of her until she gets well. "Ana, if you don't mind, I would like to stay here until you're healed. I want to stay and take care of you baby, please. Can you let me do that?"

Ana was about to open her mouth to answer when someone walked inside the room.

"I don't think that will be necessary Mr. ...?

I turned around and saw a blonde man with short hair. _Who the fuck is this?_

"Grey. Christian Grey." I said with in CEO voice that was very effective to intimidate people. Well, except for my Ana.

But this fucker didn't seem to be at least intimidated because he just stood straight and looked at Ana.

When he faced me again, he just nodded."Mr. Grey. Like what I've said, it won't be necessary for you stay here."

What the fuck? "Why? She's my wife and no one else's going to take care of her. And besides, who the fuck are you?"

He took a step forward and squared his shoulders. _Who the fuck is this guy? Making himself look like a mean cop, huh?_

_A cop. _

No. It can't be.

"I'm Officer Gavin Boyle of Portland Police Bureau. And I'm dating your _**ex**_-wife, Anastasia Steele."

* * *

A/N: Time check:** 4:00am** . Hey guys! I'm back. I apologize for leaving you with that cliffhanger. I've been busy for the past few days so I decided to post something than nothing at all. And now, I made a major change in my story line, Christian now meets Gavin. The original story line was few more chapters before they meet, but hey a surprise is a good thing right? How will Christian react to Ana moving on with someone else?

So, let the pissing contest begin!

Mr. Boxers vs Mr. Grey *which side are you?*

As always, I will never get tired of Thanking you guys! The reviews are just freaking amazing. Almost 1000? Crazy! ** THANKS SO MUCH! You guys rock! **

So, I'm expecting of heaps of errors here. lol Sorry for that! xx


	20. Chapter 20

**AUTHOR'S NOTE EDITED!**

* * *

GAVIN

I stood there a few feet away from Ana's ex-husband. I didn't expect him to be here that fast. I heard the black guy security when he was trying to call his boss. And according to him they were still up in the air with Teddy. Seattle's few hours away from Portland, so he must have used a chopper to get here fast. _A rich business person I see_. Well, I don't give a flying fuck if he had all the money in the world. If he thought that he could just step in here and control the situation, tough luck asshole.

He looked shocked when I told him who the fuck I was. I glanced at Ana who was now looking pissed and confused. If it was because of the headache or just because this asshole just showed up unexpectedly or me declaring that she was with me now, I wasn't so sure.

Honestly, I did get mad a while ago. I knew I told Ana that I was going to be patient but when she said that she experienced worst that what happened to her tonight, I just couldn't hold back any longer. I felt like a fucking failure when I didn't realize that she was missing and to found her being assaulted by those fuckers again and that she did it to save Melissa. I swore to Luke that he didn't need to worry about Ana that I was going to protect her no matter what. I wasn't able to do that. I felt fucking useless.

And when I left Ana after we almost had an argument, I just needed to cool off because I knew it wouldn't be good for Ana to work herself up. She wasn't ready yet to share it with me and I just found it so unfair at that time. So, I left. And now I see Melissa went to talk to her after I left. I told her to just go home and talk to Ana in the morning. She told me everything that happened, why she was at the club until Ana came to help when she was being cornered by those fuckers.

Ana's ex-husband, Grey, was still frozen to the spot like I gave him the worst news that he'd ever heard. What, did he think that Ana would never find another guy after their divorce? Did he expect Ana to be still waiting for him open arms and get back together after a year? And why the security for her? Was he monitoring Ana's every move? Then why he didn't know about us already?

I didn't know what I should do next because Ana might get upset if I make the decisions for her. So I just stood still and waited for either of them to speak up.

"Christian." Ana said as she sat up straight.

Finally, Grey turned back to Ana after what it seemed to be hours being stunned. "Ana." He took a step toward her. The security that I was guessing who came with him was also inside the room, was now between me and his boss. His stance was like getting ready to restrain someone from a brawl. If he thought his boss would knock me down, no chance big guy, it wouldn't take me 3 seconds to take down his boss in one swift move.

"Ana." He said again in a very low tone. "What the fuck is this cop doing in here?"

_He wasn't buying what I've just said huh?_ Ana just closed her eyes like she was thinking hard of what to say. Shit. Was she going to deny that we're together now? _Fuck_. Was it because she still has feelings for this asshole?

"Ana isn't feeling well. So watch your tone Grey." I said as I immediately took a step forward.

"I'm not talking to you." Grey giving me a death stare then he turned back to Ana completely ignoring me. "Anastasia, are you fucking that cop, huh?"

What the hell. "Hey, who the fuck do you think you are talking to her like that?"

"Who do you think I am?" He was now facing me, the bodyguard still in between us. Oh I would love to knock this asshole down. My blood's beginning to boil just by remembering Ana's hatred of being betrayed. And this asshole was the root of Ana's trust issues. "I am her fucking husband. And Ana's my wife."

_Is he delusional? _I snorted. "Wake up, Grey. You're not married anymore."

"She's min—"

"STOP!"

We were both startled by Ana's voice. I looked at her and saw her shaking furiously. Oh shit.

**ANA**

"You two stop. Just stop!" My head was now pounding like crazy because of the situation before me. I didn't expect Christian to be here that fast. I thought he was still flying back from California. I knew he wouldn't like the idea of me seeing another guy. I thought he would somehow find out about it from Kate or Elliot or even the security but I wasn't ready for a dispute like this. When Gavin walked inside the room and told Christian that we were dating, I thought Christian would go ballistic. But instead, he was shocked. I guessed he didn't really have any idea. I didn't know if I should be grateful that he didn't go thermonuclear and instead he ignored Gavin and asked me directly. And when he did, Gavin didn't seem to be impressed with the way he asked me_. See, that's why he's different with fifty, Steele_.

"Honestly, all the shit that happened tonight, I don't think I can handle anymore. So please, you two just stop." I pleaded because my head was seriously in need of a pain killer.

I needed to do something before they go any further than pissing off each other. First I needed to talk to Christian. He needed to calm down and accept everything. He couldn't just barge in here thinking that he could control the damn situation. And I didn't need to feel guilty about having a relationship with Gavin. We've divorced and he doesn't have the right to call me his wife again.

Gavin seemed to notice that I was in pain so he quickly rushed to me side.

"Hey, you need me to call the doctor? Are you in pain?" He said grasping my right hand.

Christian went to the other side but didn't dare touched me. "Ana, baby? Do you want me to send Taylor to get the doctor? I'm so sorry for upsetting you. I was so damn worried, I needed to know if you were okay…"

His face clearly showed that he was really worried about what happened. He looked disheveled, his copper locks looked like he was running his hand through it for hours and his sleeves were rolled up. Christian still looked the same man who was every woman's fantasy that I fell in love years ago. But every time I remember the things I went through during my marriage to him, all those good qualities of this man in front of me just quickly disappears into thin air. What he'd done was unforgivable and immutable. I would never turn back into that weak and naïve woman anymore. _Hell yes, Steele!_

"Gavin," I turned to the light blue-eyed man who was nothing but patient and caring for me and my son. I knew he needed a full disclosure of my past sooner than later "can you ask for more pain killers, please? My head is throbbing and I think I needed more to help me sleep."

I saw confusion in his eyes. I think he was having second thoughts of leaving me with Christian. I was really exhausted and their pissing contest could wait tomorrow but now I just wanted to rest after I talk to Christian to calm the dragon within him that just nearly burst out flames when Gavin leaned in and kissed me on the lips.

"Okay. I will be back." He then stood straight and made a staring contest with Christian. "Melissa."

Oh I almost forgot about her. Melissa stood quickly and grasped my hand. "Ana, I will be back tomorrow. I'm so sorry again for the trouble that I caused." I just nodded and then she followed Gavin out of the room.

"Christian—"

"Is it true? Are you fucking that cop?" His eyes were full of rage.

"Yes we are _dating_, Christian. I don't see anything wrong about that." _What is that tone?_ _Who does he think he is_?

I was thankful that Gavin agreed to leave the room for a bit. I know Christian wouldn't like that I was seeing someone now. And the last thing I want was for someone to get hurt in front of me. I had enough action for the day. Good thing I was able to stop them from going at it just awhile ago.

I was feeling guiltier than before because I didn't have the guts to tell Gavin about my past. And now Christian's here, I knew he was now dying to know everything. I knew he didn't want to leave me with Christian and Taylor, but he did. And right now I couldn't even express how grateful I was to find a man like Gavin who was very patient and understanding.

"You are mine." He said in a whisper. His eyes turned teary from angry. "You're just mine, Ana. Fuck." He then closed his eyes and ran his hand through his hair.

"Tell me you haven't fucked him. Please, baby. I want to know that you're still mine." He pleaded. I glanced at Taylor and saw him leaving the room quietly.

"Christian, we're over. More than a year now, remember? So please stop calling me yours." I rubbed my forehead to put some relief to my throbbing headache.

"I'm so sorry Ana, I know this is not the right time for this, but please baby, give me another chance to show you how much I yearn for you and Ted. I love you both so much and thinking another fucker is taking my place feels like my heart had just torn into pieces." He took my hand into his in a tight grip.

"Christian, I am really tired and I wanted to rest now." His grip tighten and felt him shaking from fury.

"Those fuckers who did this to you will fucking pay. I can't believe—"

"The security. I know." I said feeling more exhausted from the

He swallowed hard. _Yes, Grey I know you were stalking me. _

"Ana, I wanted you safe. I couldn't bear you walking the streets of Portland without someone to protect you and Ted. But that fucking useless Grant couldn't even do his job to protect you. I will—"

"No you won't. Give him another job and I don't want any security from you without my consent. It's clearly stalking Christian. And don't you dare blame Taylor for not giving you the full details of my everyday life. You have no right to do that to me. After what you did? No, Christian." I closed my eyes trying to calm my exhausted self. "You need respect my wishes. I don't want anyone controlling my life anymore. I'm done with that."

"I understand. I'm sorry Ana." I could tell that he was still trying to process what just learned today. "That cop. Do you like that cop?" His looked at me with those grey eyes with strong emotions of longing and sadness. He was looking like the lost boy I used to solace when he felt sad and alone.

"Yes. Gavin is a good man." No doubt about it.

**CHRISTIAN**

"I see." I bowed my head and closed my eyes trying to hide the emotions that were taking over my body. I felt my heart had been broken again into pieces when she said that she likes the cop. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _It fucking hurts_.

_She's not yours anymore, Grey_.

My Ana. I couldn't believe that she wasn't mine anymore. Her lips, her nose, her neck, hell her body wasn't exclusively mine anymore. I was the only one who was allowed to touch her, pleasure her and worship her. I was her first and only lover. _Not anymore._

Kate and Elliot knew. Taylor knew. Hell, even my son drew a person beside his mom and I remembered him calling the other person "Mr. Boxers" and then he would play like a cop with a gun. They all fucking knew. And the fact that they didn't mention anything was just making me furious than ever. _Control yourself, Grey. Remember what Flynn told you about self-control. Ana never liked you raging mad, right?_

When he kissed her, I nearly lost it. It took every ounce of self-control to not fucking strangle him to death. And I knew Ana wouldn't like me to be that way, so I just endured the pain of my love being held by another man. All mistakes that I made was slowly crushing my soul. I didn't know at first how would it feel if I see Ana with someone else. But now, all I wanted to do was to go back in time and change everything to make things right. Impossible I know. _You're too late, Grey._

"Gavin." The cop was back. If I could just make this fucker realize who he was messing with… _Easy, idiot. You don't want to upset Ana and kick you out right? _

"Hey, here you go." I knew Ana would be out any minute. She looked so pale and I could bet that she hasn't eaten anything yet.

"Thank you." Then she turned to me. "Christian, I don't want to be mean but you should go and take some rest. I am sure the whole day was tiring for you too."

"But Ana—"

"Christian, please. I just wanted to rest now and Gavin's here with me. You can come back tomorrow if you like or go spend more time with Ted. It's your weekend together right?" Shit. _No such luck Grey_.

I sighed. "Alright. I am worried about you. Please call me if you need anything, I will be here anytime you want me. I will stay at the Heathman. Elliot will bring Teddy back tomorrow."

"Thank you but I will be just fine."

I leaned closer but didn't touch her. "I love you Ana, always. I won't give up."

I made my way to the door but before I walk out, I saw the cop walked behind me. "Grey."

I turned back and faced him.

"Listen, cop. Ana will always be my Ana. And I will do everything to get her back."

"You listen. I don't give a fuck of what you want to say or what you want to do. The bottom line here is, she's with me now. And I will do everything to make her stay with me. She gave me a chance and I will treasure it not like what you did, asshole."

"We will see about that, Officer."

_Grey, get your shit together. Time to show Ana that you've changed and show that Officer Fucker who Christian Grey is._

* * *

A/N: Hello! I'm really really really sorry for making you wait for too long for this chapter. It's an Extremely busy week for me. I have tons of paperwork, deadlines to meet and even I already gave up my lunch time to write, there's just too much to do. It's very frustrating and I'm so stressed out. I hope you understand. I don't want to rush my writing and give you crappy and shitty chapters.

The weekend was very depressing too. I couldn't write anything after reading one of my favorite stories that KILLED Christian at the end. That was just too cruel. No, CG isn't my main character here, but killing him is a different story from cheating. That is just too much. I have nothing against the writer, she's an excellent one no doubt about it. But let me tell you this, NO ONE WILL DIE in my story. End of.

**WOW**. SPEECHLESS about the number of reviews. just **WOW. **

[**EDITED]**

****I think you misunderstood my first author's note. I LOVE ALL THE REVIEWS! I have lots of guest reviewers and most of them are on Team Gavin and most followers are on Team CG and its very exciting competition because of your feedback guys!

And now, this is just a short chapter. Not a full blown pissing contest, just a piece of it. I still hope you enjoy this one. The next few chapters will be exciting as ever now that Christian and Gavin had met. For those who are worried that there will be no more lemons between Ana and Mr. B. WELL YOU JUST WAIT! And for Christian, let's see **what** he will do to get Ana back **or is he going to get her back?** and his crazy reactions seeing her with Gavin and his family getting along so well with Ana's new guy.

AGAIN. Thank you for all the feedback and messages. You don't know how much smile you put on my face every reviews, follows, favorites and even views! **LOVE LOVE LOVE** :)

All mistakes are mine!


	21. Chapter 21

_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy. Just this story. And NOT a professional writer. Just sharing my first ff.**_

**LEMONS ALERT!**

* * *

I woke up feeling warm all over. I was pressed in a hard body and his spicy scent filling the air that I was breathing. I remembered making him sleep beside me when I was about to pass out and saw him just clutching my hand sitting beside the bed. I felt surprisingly better now than last night. This was the first time that I woke up in the morning beside this man and the feeling wasn't awkward like what I thought at first. I felt comfortable and safe. His scent was making me forget that we're in a hospital bed. He smelled sexy and home. _Gavin_. I snuggled closer to his chest and felt him stir.

"Good morning, Officer." I looked up through my lashes and was greeted by the sight of a sleepy expression of him. _Oh, Mr. Boxers looks so hot when he's sleepy_.

"Hey." He blinked once then twice. "Oh shit. I fell asleep." I quickly wrapped my arms around his waist when he tried to get up.

"It's okay. Stay here, please." I whispered.

He sighed and turned to his side to face me. "How are you feeling?" He said caressing my cheek with his knuckles and with that bedroom voice that was making my insides clench.

"I'm feeling much better." I leaned into his touch and closed my eyes.

"Your head?" I shook my head no. "Your back?" I winced. Crap, maybe that hit last night was harder than I thought. Even though my head wasn't a problem anymore, seemed that my back was going to be a bother for a while.

Gavin sensed my discomfort and tried to pull away. "Ana, your back still hurts, right? I am making you uncomfortable."

"No it's fine. It isn't that painful." I insisted.

"Ana. I—"

"I'm sorry." I whispered. I needed to say that. He didn't deserve to be trampled by Christian last night. Heck, he didn't deserve all this drama with me. He did nothing but to care for me and my son. He was willing to accept everything about me and what did I do? I kept him in the dark. I knew he was losing patience and that what made him leave last night, but he still went back and stood up to Christian and what did I do again? Sent him out just to talk to my ex. I still feel guilty about it even though it was the best way to calm Christian and make him understand that I wasn't his anymore. But I wasn't able to handle it the way I wanted it to be. Damn the headaches last night that made me disoriented and exhausted. Yes, I blamed it to that tattoo guy who pushed me hard against the wall and smashed my head to the ground. I should also blame Melissa for everything that happened last night. But I couldn't because part me knew that I was the only one to blame here.

_Stop it Steele. You're stronger than this. Why blame yourself now? You still have the chance to make it up for the man beside you right? Talk to him. Tell him everything._

"Why are you apologizing?" He tilted my chin up.

"Last night. Christian." I said looking straight into his warm light blue eyes which turned a shade darker when I mentioned my ex-husband's name.

"I knew that he would surely come but I was surprised that it was that soon too." Gavin stayed quiet and right now I would do anything just to know what he was thinking at the moment. _Serves you right, Steele_. "I know him. His temper would go over the top. I knew he wouldn't like idea of me being with another man. He's a jealous and possessive type. So I thought that I could calm him down with you not being in the room." I searched for his face, looking for any reaction from him but still nothing. He remained passive and just staring at me.

I sighed. "I told him that you were right. That we're together now…"

"You did?" His eyes widen in surprise. Did he think that I was going deny us? Was that why he was being like this? Oh Gavin.

"Of course I did." I cupped his face with both hands. "Did you think that I wouldn't tell him?" He nodded. I kissed his nose before I spoke. "Silly, why would you think that? There is no reason to hide. And actually I was surprised to see him shocked instead of going ballistic last night. I thought that maybe Kate or Elliot had already told him about us but I guess he didn't have any idea until last night."

He pulled me close by the waist and crashed his lips into mine. He kissed me so hungrily, licking and nipping at my lips. I kissed him back moving my lips against his passionately. I moaned when his hand found my breast then he kissed me harder, letting his tongue trail against my lips, begging for entrance. I gladly opened my mouth, and let it in, our tongues battled for dominance.

"Ana." He muttered against my lips.

"Thank you for being you, Gavin. You were so patient and sweet and you deserve more from me." I kissed his lips once more and gently placed my hand on his cheek and stroked his stubble. "I'm ready. I want to tell you everything."

"Ana, I won't force you to do something you don't want to do." He said in serious voice.

"No, you won't. One of the things I like about you." I said with a smile and tapping his nose with a finger.

His face lit up like he got a new toy for Christmas. "One of the things?" I nodded and couldn't help but to giggle at his expression. Oh he's just too cute. I wonder if people knew this side of Gavin. I didn't think I would see his eyes twinkling like a child. No one would ever imagine that sight for one mean hot cop like him. _You're a lucky bitch, Steele_.

"Can I know the other 'things' you like about me?" He asked with a hopeful expression.

"Hmm." I said pretending that I was thinking while tracing his jaw line with my fingers. "I might tell you but I have to think about it first."

His face fell and looked disappointed. Geez, how could he be so cute and hot at the same time? Again, for the hundredth time, I still don't have the answer to that.

I wrapped my arms around his waist. "Tell you what, Officer. I'd rather show you the other 'things'," my hand found his sexy ass and squeezed it tight, "I like about you." I slowly licked my lips and leaned closer. "If you take me home as soon as you can."

He growled and captured my lips into his. "Right away, ma'am."

Melissa was packing when we got home after half an hour. We got out of the hospital in no time because just like what Gavin said last night, he got it all covered. I loved how he wasn't flaunting his money to me or to everyone else. If Melissa didn't mention that he wasn't just a regular cop with enough money on his bank account, I would never suspect him to be a guy with rich parents. Real estate business was a big deal. Yet, he remained discreet and tried to live a normal life.

I tried to insist on paying half of the hospital bill but he just ignored me and when we got inside his Range Rover he warned me that if I keep on insisting he was going to handcuffed and 'sexually assault' me in public. I knew it was just a bluff but I just shut my mouth and couldn't deny that it turned me on and couldn't wait to get back home for some release

I knew that my kinky side would never go away. With all the things that Christian had made me experience when we were still together, I had to admit that it became a big part of our sexual life and was very satisfied with it. _Too bad your ex-husband had never been satisfied with just kinky sex with you._

Yes, it was the painful truth. I thought I changed him. I gave him another chance to redeem himself and prove that he just made a mistake out of being desperate and frustration because of series of unfortunate events at that time. But I guess love and commitment wasn't enough and would never be enough. What was done was done and he could never go back to make it right. I was past that dark part of my life and was starting a new. I didn't regret marrying him. He was my first love and would forever hold a place in my heart. And I had Teddy. He's the most wonderful boy a mother could ever have.

I left a note for Christian at the hospital saying that I already went back home and he should just spend his time with Ted not with me. I told him he could come back in the morning to make him leave because I couldn't argue with him anymore due to exhaustion and that seemed to work. I didn't want to know how he reacted when he tried to pay for my hospital bill. One of the nurses said so and I just knew he would do it. Bet it was a shock for him that someone already beat him to it. And that was my sweet Mr. Boxers.

Gavin insisted in carrying me up to the apartment because he didn't want me to feel dizzy and it was the safest way for me to get home. I knew it was silly but I just let him do it because after our slight make-out session in my hospital bed, I was already hot and bothered. _Or were you just agreeing out of guilt?_

I mentally slapped myself for those uncalled remarks. Yes I felt a pang of guilt because of what happened last night with Christian but my attraction to him just boosted to a hundred and ten percent or should I say he gained a thousand more points for the patience he showed and how he managed to handle the situation with Christian. He even left us alone and I bet it wasn't easy for him to do just that. He was an alpha male who would never think twice of knocking someone out of his way and would never allow a person to just tell him off just like that. But it showed the big difference between him and Christian. He _listened_. He left because he considered my feelings and the situation. It wasn't what he wanted to do at that time but nonetheless he did it. For me. _Again, you are one hell of a lucky bitch, Steele._

And now I know I did the right thing in giving this a shot with Gavin. This was the answer to the mystery of how he managed to find a way to pass my defensive walls. He's my man now. My personal police officer. My Mr. Boxers.

I was lying comfortably in Gavin's bed because he was making me 'breakfast in bed' and didn't want me to stay in my apartment alone since Melissa was already leaving after breakfast. I told him that it was just fine for me to eat at the dining table but he just scooped me into his arms and attacked my lips with his and gently laid me down to his bed. He left me wanting for more and I couldn't stop the raunchy thoughts that were forming in my head to make him feel my sexual frustration at the moment.

I was thinking of masturbating in his bed, with me wide open for him when he comes back. I knew it was one of his fantasies of me doing in front of him because he said so himself, yesterday after a mind-blowing sex against my bedroom door. _Really, Steele? What if Melissa sees you in that shameful position instead of Gavin? Couldn't you just wait for the two of you to be alone before you think of such sexual acts?_

Geez. I shook my head to erase those lewd thoughts in my head. I honestly didn't know what was happening to me. I should be resting not planning to be a sex kitten. I knew my hoo-ha had more than enough of yesterday's sexcapade at my apartment and got a bit sore but I guess her sexual cravings were back with a vengeance and ready for more action.

My train of sexually explicit thoughts got interrupted by my phone ringing inside my purse.

"Hello."

"Anastasia." _Why am I not surprised?_

"Christian."

"Where are you? I went back to your hospital room and found that you were gone already." I rolled my eyes with the accusation in his tone.

"Did you get my note?" I said in a bored tone.

"Yes. But—"

"Then why are you calling asking where have I gone?" He tried to say something but I quickly added, "Christian, just go spend your day with Teddy. It will be 2 weeks for you to get to spend time with your son again. Don't waste your time with me."

"Ana, I am worried about you. I want you safe, you know that. After what happened last night, I just can't sit back and do nothing."

"I appreciate that you want to help but I don't need it. We're not together anymore Christian, you must understand. I chose to help someone last night and I don't regret it even if I got hurt." I tried to explain once more because I didn't want any more arguments with this thick-headed ex husband of mine.

"How are you feeling now? Have you eaten yet?"

"I'm feeling much better now. And no, not yet. But—"

He cut me off before I could finish my sentence. "Then I will bring you something to eat. You looked so pale last night Anastasia, you're not eating well." He then began barking orders to Taylor on the other line.

"Christian, stop." But he wasn't listening. "I said stop." I said a bit louder to get his attention. "Gavin is cooking breakfast for me. So you don't need to feed me, Christian."

There was a long silence and I thought he already hung up on me.

"Hello?"

"I see." He said in a controlled voice after a few seconds and I was so sure he was trying to control his anger.

I sighed. "Christian, like I what I told you last night, I'm with Gavin now. So please respect and just accept that. I agreed to be civil to you for Teddy's sake. But if you continue to just barge into situations just like last night, don't expect me to talk to you anymore. I did it in a year, I could do it again. You said you were willing accept what I can give you, right? Then do respect my wishes, act like your age and face the reality. I don't want to talk about the past anymore or even think about it. I'm past that. I'm trying to live a normal life here and you should do the same."

"Ana, I'm sorry and I don't want to upset you anymore. I just want you well and safe." He paused for a second then I heard him sigh. "I understand. But I'm not giving up baby. I love you and that would never change. I will wait until that cop fucker mess up. If he hurts you—"

"You did, Christian. He hasn't." And that made him stop with his never ending declaration of love. Was he serious? After everything that happened between us, did he think that I would still believe everything he was saying? Did he think that his 'love' would fix everything and get us back together?

"I want to talk to Teddy when he gets back, please let Elliot know. Is there anything else that you would like to say?"

"I love you Ana and I'm sorry." He said in a defeated tone.

"Goodbye Christian."

* * *

"Are you sure about going home so soon?" I asked Melissa who was getting ready to leave. She said that her dad called her and wanted her to go back home soon. Gavin warned her not to come to Portland without calling him first in the future. He called his sister in NY and made her talk to Melissa and after half an hour of I guess of scolding on the phone, Melissa apologized again and again and again. I got to talk briefly to Georgia, Gavin's sister, and said she couldn't wait to meet me. She seemed nice on the phone and I was glad that Gavin had a kind and understanding sister because she told me how cute my son was. Apparently, Gavin sent her pictures of us three and that just made me like him even more.

The breakfast in bed with Gavin was nothing like any other I had in the past. The whole time I was munching the pancakes that he made, he was just staring at me and just took a few bites that I fed him. Little did I know that he had other plan for his own breakfast.

_After I cleared my plate, he took the tray and set it aside but left the maple syrup on the bed side table. He then pulled me in a searing kiss and unbuttoned my jeans and took them off in no time. I was left panting after the kiss and watched him spread my legs and kissed my inner thighs. I lifted up as he tugged my panties, helping him slide them off. He gripped the scrap of lace and pressed it to his nose briefly, inhaling deeply, before he stuffed it in his pocket. _

_"This is my breakfast." He said with a mischievous grin._

_He leaned in and pressed a wet, open-mouth kiss on my thigh and trailed his tongue across my skin until he reached the juncture of my thighs. He didn't tease, his mouth closed over my damp core and his tongue dipped barely inside. _

_My body jerked with the unexpected touch and I sighed with the pleasure._

_He parted my wet folds and started swirling his tongue through them, greedily lapping the moisture pooled there. And without any warning he dipped his tongue inside me, causing another rush of liquid. His growl of satisfaction against my delicate skin sent a jolt of electricity through me. _

_"Oh, Ana. You taste so fucking sweet." He then sucked my throbbing nub and bit it hard._

_"Gavin!" I called out, not caring if Melissa could be just outside the door. _

_"Shhh, I got you." He stood up and grabbed the maple syrup from the bed side table. Oh my. "Now time for my breakfast in bed." He settled again between my legs and took off the lid of the maple syrup and poured an ample amount of it. _

_I shuddered when I felt the coldness hit my wet core. His hand stroked my thighs, warming them up. He then dipped his head and licked the syrup all the way up from my core to my pubic mound. I even felt his tongue poked the hole from my behind and that made me soaking wet, mixing my juices with the syrup. The orgasm was building so fast and I couldn't stop my hips from grinding against his face. _

_He continued to caress my thighs as he went to suck my clit. His hot mouth closed over my nub and he stroked it with his tongue several times before moving lower again. His tongue traced the edge of my lower lips slowly, taking his time, savoring the remaining maple syrup mixed with my own juices. He stopped occasionally to look at me while licking off the juices on his lips. _

_I writhed with pleasure, unable to stay still under his practiced mouth. In such a short time of being together, he already knew all my most sensitive places, exactly where and how to touch me. He was driving me wild and crazy with pleasure. He then let his tongue slide deeper brushing over my core. The soft touch sent a surge of electricity through me and I arched into him. He brushed over my core again, and then pushed his tongue deep inside. He parted my folds exposing my clit, and his mouth went directly to it. He stroked over it again and again, slowly building his speed and soon I was on the edge. My breath came in pants and I gripped his hair silently urging him to finish._

_"Gavin, please don't stop." _

_He continued to brush over my clit, sucking it hard and fast. He pushed two fingers inside me while he increased the speed and pressure on my clit. My body jerked and I felt the orgasm quickly approaching. With few more strokes of his tongue, I came suddenly. My inner muscles clenching around his tongue as my whole body stiffened._

"Yeah. I don't want cause anymore trouble for you guys. Look what I did." Melissa said snapping me out of my wet daydream. Geez, I couldn't take my mind off that very hot breakfast in bed with Gavin.

"Yes. You did cause a big trouble for Ana. I hope you did learn your lesson now Melissa." Gavin who just came out of the kitchen and crossed his arms looking intently at Melissa.

"I'm so sorry Ana. I hope you could forgive me one day." She said sincerely.

"Hey, I understand now. And I know you're just being protective of Gavin."

"Protective my ass. She was just being her nosy self again. Who taught you to be like that, huh, Melissa? Did I? Or was it Georgia?"

Melissa just shook his head and I knew that she was about to cry. Gavin was really scaring her with the mean-cop-like voice. I better stop this now.

"Gavin, stop it already." He was about to speak again but stopped right away when I gave him a stern look.

He sighed and walked over to Melissa. "At least now you know how kind my woman is." He said ruffling her hair like she was a kid. _M__y woman._

"Sorry." She said as Gavin hugged her affectionately. Melissa hugged him back and sniffed a little.

If I walked into this yesterday, I would definitely go beyond jealous and might not talk to Gavin anymore or even hate him. But with the way Gavin was consoling her after scolding her like a big brother, there was no doubt that he cared for her like a real little sister. It was such a refreshing sight seeing Melissa not her 'usual' mean Barbie look.

"Are you sure you don't want me to drive you to PDX?" Gavin asked as he pulled away.

"There's no need. I will just take a cab. I don't think it's a good idea to leave Ana here alone."

After a hug from Melissa, I said my goodbye and watch them walked out of the door. Gavin would be making sure that Melissa gets a cab safely. After few minutes, Gavin was back and we settled on the couch.

He wrapped his arms around me as I enjoyed the feeling of his stubbly cheek on the palm of my hand.

"What do you want to do now, my lady?" Gavin asked as he captured my index finger with his lips.

"Time for my story telling, my knight with a shiny Range Rover." He chuckled as I readied myself to tell him everything that he needed to know about my not-so-happily-ever-after marriage with Christian. _Let's do this, Steele_.

* * *

A/N: **Good Friday**. Hello! While the whole country is on vacation because of the holy week holiday, here I am at my office work station working my ass off. Yes, no holiday for me. Sucks, yeah? But the good news is that I was able to write 4,000+ words for this chapter, yay!

Thank you for the massive reviews from the last chapter. Welcome to the new readers! I am very glad that you are all hooked. I never imagined this last month when I first thought of writing Strong Steele. **So thank you thank you thank you!**

I tried to respond to all of you guys, sorry if I missed some. To the guest reviewers who are on the wild and crazy Team Gavin lol, you guys rock. I just wish I could also thank you personally or chat with you by making an account. Just like GeorgiaG, Lovetoread2013 and Emma1987. But even if you don't, **I STILL FREAKING LOVE YOU GUYS! ALL OF YOU! Reviewers, Followers, Favorites.**

Find me on Pinterest and Twitter! *ellabankss*

One last note: I was wondering why are there still people(haters) who waste their time reading this despite all the WARNINGS I've written?

Sorry again for the errors!


	22. Chapter 22

**__****DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy. Just this story. And NOT a professional writer. Just sharing my first ff. **

* * *

**CHRISTIAN**

"Mr. Grey." Taylor said with a blank expression like nothing happened back at the hospital.

"You knew, right?" He just stared at me and didn't say anything. "You fucking knew but you didn't dare say anything!" I was furiously mad and it doubled up because he didn't even flinch. _Who the fuck does he think he is?_

"Sir, if I may?" I just gritted my teeth and gave him a death glare because I honestly wouldn't give a fuck of what he have to say.

"If I do remember correctly, you ordered me to hire a security detail for Ms. Steele and Teddy over a year ago. His job is to make sure to keep your ex-wife and son safe. And if I do recall your words 'if there would be threats make sure to inform you right away'. And that my job, as the head of the security, also entails to secure  
them and keep them from any harm." He stood straight and looked directly into my eyes. "From the past year, there wasn't any real threat to them that you should be worried about and I was doing my job, keeping Ms. Steele from any harm," he cleared his throat before continuing, "and from getting hurt. If you don't mind I am now speaking as  
Jason Taylor, a friend, a husband and a father. I know it's not my business to what happened to you and Ana. And I know I would be stepping the lines but I would like to tell you this just this one time. Since the day I met her, was a miracle that was sent for you. Even with your baggage and lifestyle choice, she still did stay and loved you for you are. She put up with your control issues and gave you... life."

"We thought, Gail and I, that you have changed. That somehow, little Ms. Steele changed you into a better man who didn't need to beat and fuck a brown-haired woman every weekend to gain control. We thought that you are going to be the perfect husband for her. I won't question your love for your son but still the thing you did, you risked it all. Every night I wondered how Ana did it. Why did she give you another chance the first time you fucked up. What did she do to get betrayed like that? I don't know the whole story because clearly, Ana still protected your reputation from your family and the public. She kept it all by herself. She didn't do anything but love you and looked what happened to her? She's trying hard to get her life back. The normal life that she de serves. I've seen her struggle the past year. And with that I couldn't help but feel very protective of her. From everything and everyone that might hurt her again. Even from you."

"Her daily activities aren't a threat to her and Teddy's life, right _Sir_? So, I didn't see any importance of reporting that to you. I did background checks to those people who came closer to her and those new friends she met just few weeks ago. No one was a real threat. A side from those two that hurt her last night, they were going to rot in  
jail. And I don't think that it would be fair to your ex-wife that I would reporting also the man that she was seeing at the moment. I did a background check after he moved next door. Actually, I felt relieved that he was a cop and definitely has all the abilities to protect Ana and Teddy."

"I will understand if you are going to fire me after this. But I will have no regrets. Ana treated Gail and I with so much kindness. She didn't look at us just mere servants or staff. So now, the only thing that I wish is for Ana to find happiness that she rightfully deserves. What happened with the intensive sessions you had with Dr. Flynn from the past year? What happened to your new resolution in life? I thought you learned your less on. But clearly, not. You stalking her, trying to control her again is the worst thing a man would do to his one and only love."

I was staring at the spot where Taylor was standing just a few minutes ago. It felt hours since he walked out. I was completely stunned with his bravery to give that long talk to me. Hell, it was like he just beaten the shit out of me and left me barely breathing. He didn't touch me but I was feeling the pain all over.

I couldn't move. I couldn't speak.

Why did he have to tell me all of that? Why did he have to say that in such a way that would forever be stuck in my head? Why did he have to rub it to my face that I was nothing but a selfish fucking prick who didn't care about anything or anyone as long as I was happy and satisfied? Why did he have to tell me those things that I should have realized on my own a long time ago?

**ANA**

"I first met Christian when I interviewed him for the WSU student newspaper. Kate was supposed to be the one to do it but she caught flu on the day of the interview. She asked me to go in her place because it wasn't that easy to get an appointment with a multi-billionaire. As Kate's best friend and roommate for four years, I wanted to help and I did even though I didn't have slightest idea of how to do it, since it was my first time to conduct an interview, especially with a CEO and a powerful man. I expected him to be a middle-aged man with white hair or maybe even older than my father because that's what most company CEO's look like these days, right? So when I saw him, I was surprised to see a very young Christian Grey with copper hair and piercing grey eyes. He was the most beautiful man that I ever met in my life. He was pretty intimidating and very controlled. His movements and the way he answered t he questions that Kate prepared, he hand led it with so much confidence. The 21 year-old naive me barely made it through the interview. I didn't know back then that he had taken an interest with me because his cool and calm demeanor didn't give away that much the whole time I was in his office. My clumsy self didn't disappoint of course, I made an embarrassing introduction because I literally fell in his office. So it was a big surprise when he showed up at Clayton's, the hard ware store that I was working part time. He said that he was around the area and was staying for business. When he asked about how the newspaper was going, I mentioned that Kate thought it would be perfect if she had some pictures of him to include with the interview. Surprisingly, he gave me his card and invited us to do a photo shoot at the hotel that he w as currently staying. I was happy and go t very excited because Kate would be over the moon for the wonderful opportunity. I didn't think that he had some other motives aside from helping us out with t he paper. We did the shoot with Jose's help, our photographer friend, the one that I mentioned before. After that he invited me for breakfast, I was reluctant a t first because I didn't expect it and t hat Kate was worried too about his intentions. I did agree after he offered his security to help my best friend and others to get back home since we only brought mine and Kate's car. During the breakfast date, that's what I thought it was, he asked me questions about me and my family. But when I asked him back about hi s family, he didn't say much about them. All in all, I was the only who was freely giving away information not him. I thought that he was just like that, a man who doesn't say much like my step-dad Ra y, a reticent type of a man. But what shocked me the most that morning was what he said after I got almost run by a bicycle. He told me that I wasn't the man for him and that I should stay away from him. I got very upset and disappointed but I didn't show it. As a woman who didn't have any experience with a man before, I got really confused with his actions. First he was acting interested in me then the next he was making me stay away from him. So I thought after that I would never see him again. Then he sent me so me first edition books that had some lines from it and was a clear message from him. That led me to drunk dial him, the one I already told you about when Jose tried to kiss me and he showed up. After I spent the night he started to pursue me thus the start of our 'relationship'."

I was talking non-stop trying to recall those moments that I would remember forever. Gavin wouldn't understand if I wouldn't tell how it started. I was still contemplating whether I should tell him the whole thing about the BDSM lifestyle t hat Christian had before me. How would I tell him about the cheating? How would react to that? And above else, I was hoping that after this he would look at me with the same desire in his eyes that he always had whenever we're together. I was hoping that he would stay. He remained quiet and listening intently. I was on his lap, facing him with my hands occasionally rubbing and touching his chest. His arms wrapped tight around me. I wasn't that uncomfortable with our position. It was me giving hope that he would understand and he would stay with me.

I knew that I could trust him. We're starting a relationship together and I knew that secrets would never be an option. It would eventually destroy us. But part of me wanted to hide what Christian and I shared. It was like the only thing that I have now from my first love. My first in everything. I decided to tell how we started. Why the fast engagement and marriage. I wanted Gavin to know what led us to the divorce. And I knew that by telling how Christian and I fell in love and got together would make him somewhat understand.

"Ana, let me just get a beer first." He stood up and after a few seconds he was back with a beer on hand. "I just though t that I would be needing some of this f or what you are going to say next." He kissed the tip of my nose then took a swig of his beer.

I took him by surprise when I pulled him down for a kiss. I pushed my tongue inside him mouth tasting the beer and his spicy self. "I thought I needed some too before I continue." I bit his lip once m ore before I pulled back.

"I want more..." He groaned and tried to kiss me again.

"Hold it right there." I pushed him back and held up a hand. "No more. Don't distract me with your kisses. I am trying to get serious here."

"Trying to get serious by teasing my with those delectable and luscious lips and tongue of yours huh?" He sat up and too k my wrist and placed my hand over his crotch. Oh. My. God. He was hard already. With just that swift kiss? "The only thing that was getting serious here is this." Trusting my hand firmly in his hardening member. "Getting seriously hard."

I closed my eyes as I fought the desire building just by feeling him up. The sexual frustration I was feeling since this morning in the hospital was not helping either. It was very tempting but I needed to talk first before anything else. Taking a deep breath, I brought my hand t o his cheek and kissed him lightly. "Later."

He seemed to read my inner war so he jus t nodded and I took my place back to his lap.

"He proposed to me after an incident involving his ex. That was only after a few weeks of being together. I didn't give him an answer that day. But another incident happened the day before his birthday. Charlie Tango, Christian's helicopter, along with his trusted staff, Ros and Christian himself, didn't make it to the ir supposed destination that day. We were all so worried because they went missing for more than 8 or 10 hours. I couldn't remember exactly."

"So many incidents happened in just few days?" He pursed his lips then shook hi s head. It was the darkest moment of our life before we got married. I didn't even want to remember it anymore.

I nodded and continued. "But he came back before midnight. He was alive. They made an emergency landing because something went wrong with the chopper. And then, after everyone went home, his family with Kate, Ethan her brother and Jose who was spending the night in the apartment, I gave him his birthday present which was my answer to his proposal."

"You said 'YES'." He muttered as I felt his grip tighten around my waist.

I nodded again. "After the horrifying thought of never seeing him again that day haunted me and made me realize that I shouldn't waste anymore time. I was deeply, madly in love with him. Even though I knew we still need to work on some of his 'issues', I wanted to be with him no matter what. Actually, I bought his present few days before his birthday. We went together to see his shrink for years. .."

He cut me off. "A shrink?" He said looking shocked. "Was he some kind of psychotic guy?"

I shook my head and sighed. This was going to be the hard part, second was the lifestyle,_but I guess that comes together right?_ Even if Christian cheated on me and we were once married, I couldn't really disclose something personal about him.

"No. He wasn't some kind of a psychotic man. He had some issues." I swallowed. " His traumatic childhood caused this issues. Gavin, I'm sorry but I don't think I should go in full detail about it. This is about Christian and he's the only one who has the right to disclose his personal issues."

"I understand. But please tell me it didn't include you being battered and abused by him." His eyes turned dark and I knew I needed to calm him before he could think of more of what he had on mind at the moment.

"No. Not exactly that..."

"Exactly what?" His voice became harder and it was like any minute he could explode from anger.

Shit, I need to choose the right words to explain this. "Can you please calm down for a bit? I promise you, this is not about me being battered or whatsoever." I felt him soften but his eyes were still hard.

"Christian, in his teenage years was introduced into a certain lifestyle where he could release his anger and get his shit back together. He was a troubled child, because again of his childhood with his biological mother. Grace and Carrick adopted him when he was four years old. He was getting out of control back then and even his adoptive parents couldn't do anything at that time. So when he met this older woman, who was a good friend of his mother, Grace, everything changed."

"Wait. An older woman introduced him to that 'lifestyle' that you were saying? Was it anything illegal? You said he was still a child right?" Here we go. The questions.

"No, the lifestyle wasn't illegal I suppose, as long as it is between two consenting adults in my knowledge of it. And yes an older woman and yes he was just fifteen at that time."

**GAVIN**

Holy fuck. A lifestyle between two consenting adults. BDSM. I didn't know much a bout it but I was a ninety nine percent sure it was that lifestyle that Ana was talking about.

Shit. I didn't expect it to be BDSM and Ana was trying hard not to say it. I understood of course. She didn't need to tell me everything. As long as it didn't have anything to do with her being harmed because of it. There was no need for her to voice out the lifestyle. I did get. I fucking got it. I encountered such ca se before of a severely beaten submissive by her dominant and was left barely breathing. It was a horrible case because the dom fucker was a notorious sadistic bastard who already had few cases before with the same incident. But he never got arrested because of a certain contract and said that his submissives wanted pa in and he just gave them what they wanted. Fucking sick and twisted bastard. I never really hated the lifestyle before because one of our buddies from the army was a very well experienced Dom. He said that it was helping him to have control over his sub and that satisfies him sexually and mentally. He told us that BDSM was not just about pain. There were terms before you could do a scene together like... what was those terms? I couldn't remember but it had something to do wit h one's pain limit or the toys they could use. But after those multiple cases th at we handled back in San Francisco, I k new I would never like that kind of life style. I could play with some toys, yes. But never with those hardcore canes and whips and other shits. Hell I couldn't stomach of hurting my partner even if it is just a one night stand. I got to admit I fantasized a woman being tied up and blindfolded but I never tried it with anyone. I thought that it would just heighten the excitement of a woman's body to what kind of pleasure I could give her.

"Gavin?" Ana snapping me out of my fantasy.

Fuck. What was I thinking? I should focus first on Ana and not think about that some crazy shit fantasy of mine.

Then it dawned on me that his ex-husband was seduced at such a young age. What the fuck?

"He was seduced by that older woman?"

"In my point of view and of course a normal and sane person's point of view, yes he was." I could tell that she knew that I figured it out already. She was getting a bit uncomfortable talking about it like she was embarrassed or something that I couldn't pin point. She wasn't looking at me anymore, instead she was keeping her gaze anywhere but my eyes.

"I see." Ana was thinking hard of what to say next, I could see that through her beautiful blue orbs and her forehead forming a 'v' just like Ted's. _God, she's just so fucking sexy, even by just that serious look on her face._

But did that mean that her ex was a submissive before? Because if he was manipulated easily by that older woman then that just made him the submissive right?

"After his time with the older woman, he changed to being..."

"The dom." I said out loud.

Her eyes widened and she turned her head away from me. Shit. I mentally punched myself. I shouldn't have said it out loud, what was I thinking. But I couldn't think of anymore terms for it. And I knew that she was having a hard time to say something similar with the term.

"Hey." I cupped her face and made her look into my eyes. "I'm sorry, I made you uncomfortable by saying that out loud. But don't worry, I figured t out myself. You didn't say anything to me, directly. So I consider myself a genius." I winked at her and smiled hoping to lighten the mood.

It seemed to work because she rolled her eyes at me and pinched my cheek. "No you aren't. I gave too many clues. That's why."

I acted hurt and clutched my chest. "Oh good lord. My lady thinks I am a brainless knight. Please just take my life. I can't bear such pain of knowing I am a useless servant of her highness."

She laughed and smacked my chest playfully. _There's my girl._ "You're not a brainless knight." I was about to smile brightly with that remark but stopped when she continued. "A brainless cop that is."

**ANA**

I laughed harder when his face fell with that last remark I made. I knew he didn't see that coming. Once again, he turned the awkward situation into a lighter one. He seemed to handle such things like this very well.

I was surprised at first he actually knew the lifestyle even if I didn't say it exactly. I have to ask him about that later. It was just weird talking about it to someone like him. Even if it was about Christian, I felt that it was me. Or maybe I was feeling this way because of what Christian and I had in the past. He was the one who taught me about it and explained every single detail of it. I was trying really hard to minimize the information about Christian and his former, wait scratch that, his lifestyle to Gavin. I knew how he values his privacy and he won't let anybody know about it with out the NDA. Shit I needed to discuss this first with Gavin.

"Hey, I almost forgot to tell you about something before we continue." And with that, Gavin's full attention was back to what I have to say.

"Have you heard about an NDA?"

"Yes. Non-disclosure agreement. Why?"

"You see, Christian would never reveal something about his private life to someone who didn't sign an NDA. And since you 'figured it out' by yourself, I trust that you wouldn't say a thing to anyone, right?" I knew he would never do something like that. And I wasn't really violating any contracts here because the NDA that I signed years ago were already ripped to pieces.

"Hey I don't work for Perez Hilton, you know." He said in a serious expression that made me burst out laughing.

"Oh god, Gavin. I am quite astounded that you even know that guy." I said still laughing.

"It's Melissa. She always mention about Perez Hilton tweeting the latest unbiased gossips in Hollywood today." He said rolling his eyes.

"A cop who knows Perez Hilton. Interesting." I tried to tickle him but he anticipated my move and maneuvered me effortlessly and now I was beneath his body.

"I'm going to use now my detective skills. When you met your ex, was he still a dom at that time?" I didn't expect him to throw that kind of question but I couldn't lie now.

"Yes."

"You said he showed interest from the time you met him until the breakfast date when he just backed out, right?"

"Yes."

"Ana, you don't need to say anything other than 'yes' or 'no', alright? I will do the guessing. I know you're having a hard time explaining things because you said something about the NDA. And I know you still care for him and wanted to protect him in public right?" _Am I? Is that why I'm contemplating about telling him every single detail? _

"Gavin-" I tried to say something but he cut me off.

"Yes or no?"

I sighed. "Yes and No."

He frowned clearly confused of the answer I gave him. "Gavin, let me explain why its a Yes and No to your last questions. Yes, I still care for him because he's my Teddy's father. And no, because what he does now doesn't concern me anymore. If his lifestyle would be revealed in public, it would be his fault..." _Yeah, he had the balls to pick_ _up a sub at a club right? "... _and if you think that I am worried that you are going to, you know, spread the news, no I am not." I cupped his face and brushed my thumb against his stubbly cheek. "I trust you. That's why I'm telling you all of this. To make you understand what really happened to us and why it happened."

He just looked straight into my eyes and I readied myself to the question that was brewing in his head right now.

"Were you his submissive?"

* * *

A/N: Zombie mode: Yes, I think I could actually qualify to become one of the walkers on The Walking Dead tv series with no need of any cosmetics. lol spell hectic? it's e-l-l-a. Yep, me. I think my manager knew that I was spending my free time at work writing because they made the previous 1-2 hours break to only 10-20mins for the month of April. *PISSED*

I'm sorry if you guys are sick and tired of me whining about my work schedule. I just wanted you to know that it's not because of the negative comments that took me long to update.

And I would like to thank all of you who are still loving this story despite of the long interval of updates and is really taking time to leave a review to let me know how much you like and support this story. I would never tire of sending my gratitude to you guys. That's why even with the tight schedule, I would definitely find time to write and will do my very best to update more often for you.

Sorry if I wasn't able to reply to your** reviews** from the last chapter, but let me give a** MASSIVE THANK YOU**!

And to the guest reviewers who created an account, YAY! JoB85 and Sacha90T welcome guys, thank you!

And massive shout out to the other guest reviewers who I can't thank personally via PM** Emi, Laura, Tik, Gemma, Sophie, Mandy, Maisie, Izzy x, Isla, Tina, Abi, TEAM GAVIN lol, Jill, Orla, Cony36, Mae Jenivie, Rosa, Fiona, Mica, Wendy, Penny, Jaz, flo89, Aimee, Leah, may, and to the other heaps of GUEST reviewers** who didn't include a name **LOVE YOU GUYS! **

I feel so invested now in this story and I so love how you all** LOVE** Gavin. So please do understand that I am not a saint and I do get depressed whenever I get a negative review. But after 21 chapters, I learned that I can't really please everyone no matter what I do or write, so from now on I will just focus on writing more for those who gives their full support to STRONG STEELE. Your reviews, PMs and all those words of encouragement made me realize that the past weekend. So to those who got disappointed to where this story is heading, I'm sorry guys, but maybe this isn't the story for you. It happened to me before, I love the story at first but as the story went on like for about 20 chapters, I lost interest because the story line changed so I stopped reading. I didn't leave a negative review because, what's the point? I didn't want to bash any writers here. And it was their story and I respect that. And I won't be writing anymore Warnings. I think it will be just useless if the others won't read it.

I have a feeling that this chapter will bore you guys. But it's needed before we continue the pissing contest and the meeting with the Greys, oops, spoiler! AND FANFICTION is one of the reasons for the massive delay of this update. After saving the document, there were unintended single spaces that screwed up the whole chapter. UGH. I got so pissed because it took me 10 years to fix the document. So if you find any of that in this chapter, sorry! I missed it. And the errors also.

I apologize for this long note. I just felt that I needed to say something after all those long reviews from the last chapter. So, **PEACE** y'all! I will get some sleep now before I go back to work lol

**REVIEWS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED**! xx


	23. Chapter 23

**__****DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy. Just this story. And NOT a professional writer. Just sharing my first ff.**

******A/N:** Hey guys.. Yay, weekend... *sleepy voice* Been a hellish week for me. Too tired to say anything other than my never ending **THANK YOU** to of all of you. And special thanks to **ammibm5 **for the mentions. Gotta sleep now or I would definitely turn into a zombie. x

Mistakes are all mine. Reviews are all appreciated. xx

* * *

**ANA**

Gavin was watching me closely, patiently waiting for me to say anything. But the look in his eyes was the opposite of his manly calm face. I wasn't sure if he was worried that my relationship with Christian was a dom and sub one or that I turned myself into a submissive for Christian or that I was a submissive even before I met Christian. Would he still want me if I was a real submissive?_ Does he hate the lifestyle_? Or did he have any bad experiences with the lifestyle from the past?

I took a deep breath._ What am I going to say?_ That, no I was never his submissive but I did consider becoming one for him just so we can be together and I walked out one night because he hit me with a belt per my request. Do I need to mention that he just persuaded me because that was all he wanted from the start? A submissive not a girlfriend?_ DAMN IT, STEELE. Just answer the question!_

"Gavin," I took his hand and laced our fingers together, "I was… never his submissive." He squeezed my hand tight like he already knew that I wasn't finished yet. "But that's the reason why he persuaded me from the start, he wanted me to become his submissive."

He frowned. "Did you have any idea about that lifestyle before you met him?"

I shook my head. "No. He mentioned that he doesn't do 'girlfriends' but I never expected him to be into that kind of…" I shrugged.

"Son of a bitch." He cursed under his breath. He pinched the bridge of his nose that I was kind of getting used to see as one of his habits whenever he was getting upset about something.

"That's why he was unsure if he was going to continue to pursue me and kept on changing his mind, just like what happened at the breakfast date after the photoshoot." I continued. "Christian, he never considered his subs as girlfriends. They had a contract and that's it, for him rather. And when he invited me to his apartment, he showed me the contract and his playroom and explained everything about what he wanted."

"Playroom?"

"Yes, uhm where he does the scenes with his submissive. Where his toys and stuff for you know..." I said embarrassed to say more.

He pursed his lips. "Did you stay and listened after finding out that he was a dom and saw his playroom?"

"Yes. I was already attracted to him and he said that it was the only relationship he could have with someone else... and I was curious what it was all about." I looked down to our entwined hands when he squeezed it tight.

"Did he know that you were still inexperienced back then and never had a boyfriend?" I shook my head no.

"We were in the middle of you know, discussion of the soft and hard limits when I mentioned that I was still a... virgin." I looked away feeling embarrassed and at the same time nervous of his reaction to how I lost my v-card.

"What the fuck." He released my hand. "Then what happened when he found out? Did he send you home?"

Shit. Here it goes. "No." His brows furrowed. "I stayed and we uhm..." I looked away not wanting to finish what I was about to say, "we... did it."

"Mother fucker, did he take advantage of you? Did he force you to do it knowing you were a virgin? Fucking bastard!" He stood up and walked back and forth.

"Hey calm down." He stopped his pace and looked down to me. His eyes were darker than ever.

"Did he force you?" He asked again.

"No Gavin, he didn't."

"Fuck. He still took advantage of you." He said in a raised voice.

"Gavin, no it wasn't like that-"

He cut me off. "It wasn't like that? He did take advantage of an innocent woman like you!" He said almost shouting.

I stood up and faced him. I knew this wouldn't go down well but it was already in the past that there was no need to be upset like this.

"Listen. It was a long time ago and it was my decision. I was already an adult and I didn't see anything wrong with that seeing we were attracted to each other, right?" I tried to keep my voice calm but my dislike to his reaction was clearly being shown by my face.

He looked as if I slapped him. He just stared at me for a moment then his eyes turned cold and blank. "I'm sorry. I know I don't have the right to be upset. I'm sorry for being nosy and stepping out of the line." He then grabbed the empty bottle of beer and turned around. "I'm just going to get another one."

I watched his retreating form and sighed. I collapsed on the couch and placed both hands on my face. How did it go like this? Did I make a mistake telling all those details? Should I have just kept about it to myself?

I never thought of Christian taking advantage of me that night. Yes, I didn't know anything about BDSM before. I didn't have any experience with men. But that time it just felt so right. I was willing and determined to lose my virginity to him that time. We both wanted it and I didn't have regrets._ Yeah, right. He wanted your body, Steele. Not you. And he wanted you to become his sex slave and was going to 'train' you. That was how you lost your v-card. Admit it._

I closed my eyes shaking off those thoughts because I didn't want to deal with the awful truth and it was in the past. We shouldn't be like this over something that was already done. I knew Gavin cares but being upset with this would be just useless. _Well, Steele, maybe you should put yourself in his shoes and try to think of a virgin 21 year old Teddy discussing soft and hard limits with an older woman? And then later on losing his innocence because he was attracted to her and the older woman wanted to train him to become her slave. How would that make you feel?_

I felt sick by that thought. Of course that would make me very mad that the older woman took advantage of my innocent young Ted. Oh shit. Did I say 'took advantage'? Did Christian really use my own innocence to get me to bed? Did he take advantage of my naive self back then?

Realizing that it was somewhat true, still, I wanted it. I did it because I wanted it. And I was already an adult so I take all the responsibility and be blamed because of my ingenuousness. And that Gavin's reaction was normal and understandable. He was still not back and I knew I needed to get him and fix this.

_"Gavin is so into you."_

_"Ana, he got it bad. Believe me."_

Melissa's words rang in my head as I make my way to the kitchen. Actually, this was the first time that I saw Gavin upset. He was always so understanding and calm about things. He was so careful around me, he thought about my feelings first before his. And here I was, telling him how I fell in love with Christian and even subjecting myself into being someone I could never be.

He had his back on me and leaning against the counter. There were 2 bottles of beer and one was already half empty. I guessed he was trying to cool off just like what he did last night. The tension in his body was clearly visible with his bulging biceps showing off. I couldn't help but to admire yet again his sexy physique. His back, oh his sexy back looked so much inviting. _Get a grip, Steele! Now is not the time to drool over him!_

I walked towards him and wrapped my arms around him from the back. I felt him stiffen for a bit but relaxed as soon as I placed a kiss on his back. He felt so warm and I didn't stop myself from inhaling his sexy spicy scent.

We stood like that in a few minutes with no one saying anything but to feel each other's body. He then turned around and wrapped me around his arms and placed his head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

I sighed and pulled him closer, snaking my arms around his neck. "You don't have to apologize. I understand now. I'm sorry if I didn't think about how that would make you feel."

He pulled up and brought our foreheads together. "I'm still sorry." He closed his eyes and ran his nose along mine. "I wished I could have met you sooner."

I couldn't stop the small smile that escaped my lips. He was just sweet like that.

I gave him a quick kiss and pulled back a little so that I could see his handsome face. "This is why I was reluctant at first to tell you about my past. And there are more. If you can be calm and just listen without any_ almost violent reaction_, we'll continue but..." I said trying to lighten the mood joking about how he reacted.

"Okay. I promise."

I nodded. "I just want you to know that it's all in the past. It doesn't matter anymore. It was done and we could never take it back. We'll just waste our time being mad into something that was in the distant past, alright? And please promise me that after this, we won't ever talk about it again. It will just screw things up."

He sighed. "I promise. I didn't expect myself to react like that too. I couldn't stop my blood from boiling imagining you being manipulated and taken advantage by someone you loved before."

"I understand now. Let's go back to the couch and keep your promise of being calm and just listen, okay?" He pulled me in for a deep kiss and made our way back to the couch.

He took my feet into his lap and offered me a massage. He said that way he would be able to at least give me comfort and relaxation so that I wouldn't stress myself too much and that he would have a distraction while listening.

"So," he started while doing his magic with my left foot, "you said that he wanted you to become his submissive, right? You signed the contract after your first night?" His voice now was calm and full of curiosity.

"No. Even if I was already falling for him at that time, I didn't sign the contract on the spot. I told him I wanted to do my own research first and discuss the contract and revise the soft and hard limits, since I never had any experience with those things obviously like whips, floggers..."

"Canes?" He asked.

"Yep." I nodded. How did he know?

"So you did consider in becoming his submissive." He said and looked straight into me.

The awful truth. "Yes." I whispered and gazed anywhere but him.

"I see."

"Actually, I never signed any contract aside from the NDA." He stopped massaging and frowned at me. "Yes I did my research about it and we continued to see each other but I left him and didn't see him nor speak to him for five days."

"Why? What happened?"

I never thought that one day I would recall again the moment that changed everything between me and Christian. I didn't tell anyone, even Kate about the incident that made me run from him and experience the worst, 2nd from the Charlie Tango incident, 5 days of my life before I married him. This could get messy so I should just take it slow and calm Gavin.

I couldn't lie to him. He needed to know what made Christian change his mind from being my dom to my boyfriend.

I scooted closer to him and sat on his lap. "Gavin, I know you are not going to like what I'm about to say but please, for me, please understand that it was all in the past and it played the biggest change in our relationship before. If this incident didn't happen," I felt him stiffen and looked at me intently, "maybe I would have never been Mrs. Grey and never had Teddy, alright? Can I trust you to just accept this and let go? Can you do that?"

He closed his eyes and after a few seconds his face softened and brought our foreheads together.

"For you. I will do anything for you."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed the tip of his nose. "I just got back from Georgia that time, I paid my mother a visit to get away from Christian for a bit. I thought I would be able to resolve my thoughts when he wasn't around. He was relentlessly convincing me to sign the contract and be his. We just moved to Seattle, Kate and I, but she left for Barbados with her family. So I needed to get away. But Christian surprised me when he followed me in Georgia. He met my mom and we had a fantastic time together. I fell for him even more. He left a day ahead of me because of an emergency back in Seattle. So when I got back the next day, Taylor, his security, drive me straight to his apartment."

I stopped and took a deep breath before I continued. "I remember that we were talking about the rules and the punishment. I wanted to know how bad it could get if I disobey him or break the rules. He asked me if I was sure, and I said yes. He took me then to his playroom and reminded me of my misdemeanors. He..." I pulled back a little and looked into his intense light blue eyes, "he hit me with his belt for 6 times."

His eyes widened but he didn't move or speak. He just stared at me with a horrified look on his face. Then his eyes turned dark and pulled me in for a long and hard kiss. It was not the playful passionate kiss that we always share. It was rough but not too rough. His lips were like owning me. Branding me that I was his. I opened for him and kissed him back. It was then that I just realized that he was trying to convey his anger for Christian and comfort for me with the kiss. He was keeping his promise and I couldn't ask more from him.

"Fuck, Ana." He kissed me again, his tongue marking every part of my mouth. "Fucking bastard." He growled, this time in between anger and lust. "I am not promising anything but I might lose it if I see that ex of yours and beat the shit out of him." He said calmly but I knew deep inside he was controlling the rage that he was feeling at the moment.

"I didn't safe worded and took all of it. And that was the time that I realized that I couldn't be the person he wanted me to be. I couldn't be what he needed. I couldn't be a submissive who could take all those punishments from him. I couldn't be his slave that would do everything that he wished me to. And when I told him that I love him, he freaked out and said I couldn't. So I left." I closed my eyes and sighed in relief that finally I was able to get that all out of my chest.

"Then after five days he sent me an email about my friend's gallery opening and offered to take me since I left the car that he gave as his graduation gift. I missed Jose and didn't want to miss his show and part of me wanted to see Christian again. So, the next day we went together and talked about everything that happened. He said that he missed me and was miserable during the 5 days that we were apart. He made another proposition which had no more rules and he was willing to give me 'more'. And that was the start of our contract and rules free relationship."

Gavin snorted. "You mean, if he didn't beat you and if you didn't leave, he would have never realize how important you were? What a fucked-up son of a bitch."

Again, the awful truth.

I continued by telling him about my fairytale wedding and the grand honeymoon in Europe. How Christian lavished me with his money and how my life changed by becoming Mrs. Christian Grey. I mentioned that there were paparazzi that was always following us that we couldn't really have a normal date like going to the movies or public places without security. How a control freak Christian was and sometimes unreasonably overbearing and overprotective that I couldn't even have a normal conversation or be friends with another man, except with the security team of course.

Gavin was doing a good job of behaving himself and was just listening intently. He would occasionally play with my hair or kiss my knuckles trying hard not to react whenever I mention how controlling Christian was. I skipped that part of the Jack Hyde incident and how Christian reacted to me being pregnant unintentionally. It was all connected to Christian's past that I'd rather not disclose to him.

And then I proceeded to the hardest part.

"One night, when I got home from work, I went straight to my study to open the letters I received that day. There was this unusual document without a return address, I opened it and gave me the shock of my life when I found a contract between my husband and a certain submissive." I closed my eyes trying to fight the memories that still felt so fresh in my mind. "And there was a note saying she 'fucking loved his cum'."

"He contracted a submissive? Fucking hell." I felt Gavin's strong arms enveloped me in a comforting hug. "I was guessing the your ex cheated on you. And damn I was right. He fucked a damn submissive."

"He said he never had sex with her. That he was just desperate to get his control back after he lost two important business deals. We had a huge fight while he was working on it. He left the deal to Ros, his right hand man-woman, to convince me not to go to New York with a male author. Like what I've told you, he was very possessive and jealous and reasoned that the author wanted in my pants which was the same reason he had whenever I get close with another man. I still went to New York after he took off to save the deal but he was too late. He said that he was furious that he had lost control of everything including me and that led him to go to a club and contracted a submissive for a month."

"Control you mean, beating the shit out of the sub? Was that it?"

I nodded. "He told me that he couldn't do that to me. He didn't want to hurt me so he had no other choice but to..." I trailed off not wanting to say anymore.

"Hey, it's alright. You made the right decision to leave him." He cupped my face and I looked into his warm light blue eyes.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. "I gave him another chance after he explained everything and a month of begging to forgive him. Because despite of what he did, I still loved him."

He pulled back looking confused. "What? If you gave him another chance then..."

I braced myself to this another heartbreaking memory.

"After a few months of our reconciliation, I decided to surprise him late night at work and there I saw him whipping a naked woman who I was sure the submissive that he contracted."

"You walked in on them in his office?" He asked again in horror.

I swallowed and nodded. "Yes. Without saying anything, I slipped off my rings and left." I said and I thought I heard my voice a bit shaky.

"Fucking hell!" He said almost shouting. "I swear, I won't hold back anymore I am going to beat the shit out of that fucker. I don't fucking care if he is a billionaire with James Bond bodyguards. I am going to show him- Ana?" He stopped in his tracks when he saw me just staring at him.

**GAVIN**

Oh shit.

When I looked down at my woman, she was just looking at me with her big blue eyes wide and... vulnerable. This was the first time I ever saw her with an expression like this. She looked a bit shaky like she just woke up from a nightmare. Fuck. Of course she just relived the most painful moment of her life. She gave the asshole another chance and what did he do? She walked in on him whipping his sub in his office. Holy fuck. Why would this wonderful woman experience something horrible like that? My Ana, who sacrificed her normal life just to be with a sick and twisted dominant? And now I finally understood. Her trust was broken. She was betrayed by the only man she ever loved.

And here I was cursing and letting my anger control over me. I was already planning how to hunt that fucker down with him surrounded by his bodyguards while Ana was now shaking looking so weak and vulnerable like everything happened just recently. What was I thinking? Now wasn't the time to be angry and be mad as hell to that billionaire asshole. Ana needed me. She needed someone to remind her that she did survive that nightmare. That she was able to escape and was starting a normal life. This wasn't the strong woman I fell for. And I need to get her back.

"Ana." I cupped her face with both hand caressed her cheeks. "Hey, it's alright now. Thank you for sharing everything to me. You were so brave. You were able to get through it all. Not everyone could recover the way you did. And I am so proud of you more than ever. It wasn't you, Ana. There was nothing wrong with you. You are perfect, for me. You are the perfect mother for Teddy. And I am fucking sure that you will be the perfect wife of any man that you would wish to marry someday." I tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and let my eyes roam all over her lovely face. "You really are amazing, Ana. The strongest woman that I know. And damn, I am luckiest bastard in this world to have you in my arms right now."

She giggled at that and I couldn't help but feel relieved when he threw herself on me. Thank fuck.

"Oh Gavin." I hugged her tight, not wanting to let go. This woman who suffered enough bullshit in life because of one certain selfish son of a bitch was now mine. And I promise the heavens up above, even hell that I would make sure to love and cherish her with all I got and protect her from any harm or sadness. I would make sure to keep her happy the rest of my life. I would give up everything for her. And for Teddy. Even if she wasn't ready to love again, I would be here. I would be waiting.

Yes.

I have fallen in love with her.


	24. Chapter 24

******__****DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy. Just this story. And NOT a professional writer. Just sharing my first ff.**

**A/N:** HELLO! YES, I'M ALIVE! I guess you already know the reason for this massive delay right? Yeap, nothing new with work, busy as hell. I feel like I am actually part of Hell's Kitchen, always in a hurry and stressed every minute. Yes BOSS! instead of Yes, Chef!

And I did post on my profile about the updates in case you didn't notice. But I am thinking of creating a Facebook page for Strong Steele. What do you think guys? And I forgot to thank those who found me on twitter! **Bex** **(masonsmummy2011) **how's twitter?,** kykio88 and two other girls** that I don't know the name here on FF or maybe Guest Readers! **Thank YOU**! If you follow me, I'm going to follow you back also. Not a snob or a celebrity to ignore you guys.

Special mention to these girls who never failed to send me PMs every chapter, begging and saying that they were losing their minds and couldn't concentrate at work waiting for an update LOL **MaciB, Emma1987**, the tenacious kayla lol **kayla86evans, josiewhyte87, Lovetoread2013, GeorgiaG,** my fave anime name Lucy lol **Lucie1989**, **EllieSmith88** and **AmyDrummondxoxox** who declared herself as SS no. 1 fan. **MASSIVE HUGS!**

Hi **Leah the guest reviewer!** Nope, never gonna give up on you guys. It's just work that's keeping me from writing! lol

I know heaps of Authors here really dislike my story. Not that I care but just wanna say that I got **amazing readers** and** Bad Ass guest reviewers. **And special thanks to all those authors who are following and reading this story, you guys rock. I owe you guys big time for making Strong Steele such a strong story here on FF! **LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU ALL!**

Who requested for some LEMONS? Here you go. This is just a short one because I can't stand all the begging anymore and I am not yet finished writing the 'supposedly whole' Chapter 24. Hope you like this one.

The next chapter will follow SOON. Trust me.

All mistakes are mine. Review are highly appreciated! x

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I woke up in an empty bed. I was feeling much better after an orgasm and a long nap. Even if I was a bit disappointed that it was only Gavin's magical fingers, I was at least half satisfied and well rested for the real 'thing'. My back wasn't that sore anymore, thanks to the full back massage from my sexy Mr. Boxers. I looked at the clock on the bedside table and it was past 5 o'clock already. I scrambled out of the bed and took one of his white v-neck shirts and put them on over my panty clad body.

I didn't expect myself to get emotional after reliving the past with Gavin. Maybe it was because I didn't tell anyone about it, not even Kate. I felt like the world was lifted off my shoulders. And it felt so good that I've finally taken it all out with someone that managed to control his own feelings and comforted me and said all those sweet and encouraging words that reminded me of the new Ana that was able to survive those dark moments of her life. Of course, I was still in doubt that it was all true, especially 'the perfect mother and wife'. I would always have those insecurities in life but hearing it from Gavin who sounded like he was telling the most sincere truth in the world was heart warming. He could be so sweet like that even just a few seconds ago he was raging mad.

I couldn't ask for more. He was such a good listener, his full attention was always on me, he managed to be calm even after the belt and cheating incident. How could he be so perfect like that? I knew it wasn't easy for him to hear how I fell in love with Christian despite the fact that my ex had no other intention aside from making me his sex slave when we first met. I came to a lot of awful realization from my past relationship with Christian. Yes, I had no regrets, but everything could had been different if I wasn't that naive and innocent when we first met.

Shaking my head to erase those thoughts out of my head and mentally reminded myself to move forward and just leave all those thoughts in the past . I pulled my hair into a messy bun and made my way out of the bedroom door.

I found Gavin on the floor, legs crossed in front of his massive flat screen, shirtless and just wearing boxer briefs and with a game console controller in hand. He was in deep concentration in gunning what seemed like zombies, army of zombies? _What is he playing?_

I leaned back against the wall and took my time studying the fine specimen of man that was just a few feet away from me. His jaw was clenched and eyes were hard like he was in a real war zone. It was such a pleasant sight to see him playing this kind of game. I wouldn't be surprised that he could actually shoot so well in real life like he was doing at the moment, all head shots. Poor zombies.

I couldn't help but remember the first time Christian mentioned his 'playroom'. I honestly thought that he was talking about this, xbox or playstation. The old me never thought in her 21 years of existence that it was a certain torture room not the normal playroom for most guys. _Steele, when are you going to stop comparing the past from the present?_

I rolled my eyes at myself. _FINE. _

I decided to end my man-watching and made my way to the couch.

He seemed too preoccupied of the game that he didn't even notice me. "So, these zombies are my biggest competition now, huh?"

He turned too quickly that he almost dropped the controller. "Hey, you're awake." I thought that he was going to continue playing when he turned back to the screen but he just paused the game.

"Well, I am now. And I caught my man cheating on me, worst with a zombie." I raised my eyebrow at him as he stood up and sat beside me.

He chuckled and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "Cheating with a zombie? I was killing them not fucking them. Christ Ana, I'm not a necrophilic." He said looking horrified.

I giggled and sat on his lap. "They have your full attention and you didn't even notice me here..."

"You've been awake that long?" He kissed my temple and tilted my chin up. "I'm sorry because when I play, I usually turn the sound of the game higher than normal. Maybe that's why I didn't hear you coming. And you were still asleep, you needed rest so I didn't wake you up. Forgive me?" He said with those puppy eyes that I didn't know that he could actually pull off perfectly.

How could I resist this cute and sexy man? How could he be both at the same time? Still don't have an answer to that. "Forgiven." I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in a deep kiss.

"What are you playing?" I reached for the controller and inspected it. I've never been interested in this kind of gaming thing.

"It's Call Of Duty Black Ops Zombies 2." He said with that boyish sexy smile of his. Oh, never heard of it. Now, this were the disadvantages of being a nerd comes in: Doesn't know anything about video games. _Perks of being a bookworm eh, Steele?_

I rolled my eyes again at my sarcastic self. Yes, I have no knowledge about these things but I could learn right? Seeing him react like a happy child like it was Christmas when I asked about the game was making me interested in getting to know more about it.

"Can you teach me how to play and shoot the zombies too?"

"You'd like try?" His face lit up and I couldn't resist to smile sweetly and nod at him.

He pulled me closer and crashed his lips into mine. I was taken by surprise when he lifted me and now I was straddling his hips. He kissed me hungrily as I snaked my arms around his neck. I moaned and opened my mouth for his tongue to explore. He cupped my bottoms and found the hem of my shirt and pulled it off in one swift move.

"I thought we're going to play?" I asked as I was still catching my breath from his fiery kisses.

He grinned mischievously and sensually licked his lips. "Oh yes, I am going to play with this smoking hot body of yours, my lady."

"What a perverted knight you are."

He captured my waiting nipple and all I could do was to moan loudly. He swirled his tongue around my already erect nip and sucked hard. He was like a hungry soldier who just got home from years of war. I arched my back and threw my head back in pleasure. His hand was making its magic with the other tip, pinching and massaging. I grabbed the back of his head when he bit my nipple and felt his other hand stroking my inner thigh.

"Ah Gavin..." I cried out when I felt his fingers tracing my wet folds through my soaked panties.

"You're so fucking hot and wet, Ana." He then pulled me again for another searing kiss.

He surprised me when he ripped off the scrap of lace and threw it aside. Oh my. He had never done that before. And honestly, I didn't mind. I just couldn't wait any longer to have him inside me._ Getting greedy to be fucked now huh, Steele?_

He plunged two fingers inside me as he continued to worship my breasts. I loved it when he seemed so eager to touch every part of my body like he couldn't get enough. His other hand made its way down to cup my bottoms again but this time it didn't just stay there, his finger was now tracing my other hole and it sent shivers all over my now hot and wanting body. He fucked me with his fingers while he continued the sensual and slow touch on my behind. It was just making me soaking wet and building my orgasm faster than the usual.

I rode his fingers and cupped his jaw, pulling him for a hard kiss. His touch was making me feel bolder than ever as I forced my tongue inside his. He let out that sexy growl and that's how I knew that he was definitely pleased with my aggressiveness.

"I want you." I muttered, breathing in pants.

"I want you more." I moaned as he added another finger into my wet core and I felt the tip of his finger seeking entrance to my other hole.

"You are so fucking tight, Ana." He groaned as I reached to grab his throbbing member through his boxer briefs. "You fucking my fingers like this is driving me so fucking crazy."

"I want you inside me."

He bit my bottom lip. "I am already inside you," he pumped his fingers faster, "you feel that? Don't you like my fingers in you?"

"I love them of course, but I love this more." I freed his huge cock and there it was, thicker and harder and I couldn't stop the anticipation building inside me. It was always like the first time we made love. His touch, his scent, his hardness and at the same time gentleness. I couldn't get enough of him. I couldn't wait to have him. This wanton desire that I have for him was certainly driving me wild.

"Tell me what you want." He thrust his hips as I pumped my hand up and down his full erection.

Oh my god. He wanted me to say it.

"Tell me, Ana." He then traced my lips with tongue. God he's so fucking hot.

I drew him first into a wild kiss and pumped him harder then pulled back as I gripped his dirty blond hair. "I want you to fuck me with this massive cock, Officer," I licked his lips and added, "hard."

His eyes turned darker, letting out a loud growl. He then reached for something behind me and passed me a foil packet. I tore it open not really caring why he was so ready with a condom while he was playing video games. And before I knew it he quickly plunged inside me, filling me with huge throbbing cock. Once deep inside, he stopped and I felt every ridge and vein sculpted into the throbbing flesh. I started to move up and down slowly but then he took charge and started pounding his hard cock in and out of me. He grabbed my breasts and began to fondle them roughly and bit my shoulder.

"Oh fuck. You feel so fucking good, Ana."

"Yes, Gavin. Please, faster." I moaned as his lips captured mine.

He didn't disappoint and began to increase his pace and further pushing me over the edge. And after a few more thrusts I cried out as my orgasm hit me. But he didn't stop as he reached down and found my clit with the tip of his thumb. His fingers moved against my clit and his tongue swirled on the tip of my breast, encompassing my nipple and causing me to buck. He continued thrusting on me hard and fast and the tension started building again, his fingers moving faster on my clit as I rode up and down his shaft.

He looked me in the eyes, his light blue eyes a shade darker than the usual and full of intense desire for me. And when he pinched my nipples hard, my second orgasm came instantly. I cried out and he thrust deeply into me, then pulled me to him, chest on chest. His rigid cock was hard in me as he pound faster and faster…I was throbbing and grasping his huge member with my inner muscles as I came, and then he let out a loud gasp and made a deep thrust and ceased to pump. His eyes were wide and his hands were on my breasts. I could feel his cock throbbing inside of me and moved myself against him a little bit more, as my body continued to buck with the intensity of my orgasm.

I laid myself against him, my face buried in his neck and his hands stroking my back. His touch always have that warm and protective feeling, and it felt so good that I involuntarily arched my back and bucked. He laughed low in his throat and continued running his hands up and down my back.

"You're fucking amazing, Ana. I love it when you are a bit aggressive and greedy. And the way you said 'massive cock'." He let out that sexy growl and bit my neck. "That was so fucking hot."

I flushed and hid my face deeper into his neck. "No it wasn't." I couldn't help but be carried away in the heat of passion. I could say that with my past experience with sex I wouldn't call myself a novice anymore but the dirty talks still embarrass me and I didn't know why.

He cupped my face and caressed my cheek. "Yes. You. Are." He said in between kisses. Oh, hello my sweet Mr. Boxers!

I bit his lower lip as I ran my hands up and down his buff biceps. "You want to join me in my tub?"

He pursed his lips. What now? "The 'tub' huh? The one that witnessed your second orgasm with me." Oh, the phone sex. "Now I will get to know that bastard of a tub."

Seriously? I giggled and pinched his cheek. "You're jealous with my tub?"

"Yeah, you got a problem with that?" He said with that mean cop voice as he stood up with me in his arms, and him still balls deep inside me.

"No, Officer. Just please don't arrest my tub." I leaned closer and bit his earlobe. "I will give you everything you want." Then I felt him grew harder. Uh oh, second round here we go.


	25. Chapter 25

******__****DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy. Just this story. And NOT a professional writer. Just sharing my first ff.**

**A/N:** Sorry for the errors!

* * *

I was in my robe and drying my hair when I heard someone knocked on my door. Gavin was busy in my kitchen making dinner so I made my way to open it. It was already 7:30 in the evening, we're having late dinner because of Gavin's hyper sexual appetite. Just thinking of how he fucked me from behind and the 5 orgasms I had the whole afternoon, I could feel myself getting hot and bothered again. Oh my. Shaking my head, I brought my mind back to the present. I had a feeling that it was Christian and my son. Oh, Teddy. I missed him too much. I couldn't wait to hug and kiss my baby boy.

And opening the door myself could save the tension between Gavin and Christian. I wasn't sure if Gavin could control himself when sees my ex after everything I told him this morning. But there was one thing I was certain about, he would definitely listen and stand back down if he had to. A huge difference with Christian. If he wanted to punch someone, it would take forever to calm him down._ But you were able to tame him before, right Steele?_

Before, yes.

And there he was outside my doorstep with a sleeping Teddy in his arms and Taylor behind him loaded with bunch of paper bags and small boxes. I nodded at them and stepped aside to let them in the apartment. Christian made his way straight to the bedroom without saying anything since he already saw it the first time he was here a couple of weeks ago.

"Ms. Steele." Taylor greeting me with a nod. I just smiled at him in return.

As I gestured for Taylor to just drop all he was carrying on the couch, Gavin emerged from the kitchen. Christian was still in the bedroom and I need to think of something before all hell could lose when those two would cross paths again.

"Ana, who was-" He stopped in his tracks when he saw Taylor placing the bags on the couch. Thankfully he was now wearing a shirt and khaki shorts because he joked about being naked in my apartment the whole night. Not that I mind and tempting as it was, of course my son would be back, so no to naked all night.

I gave him a stern look when he frowned and pursed his lips. I walked towards him and placed a gentle kiss on the lips. "Behave." I whispered and turned to walk straight to the bedroom to check on Teddy and Christian.

My baby boy was now peacefully sleeping in bed while his father was at his side caressing his chubby cheeks. He then leaned closer and placed a kiss on Teddy's copper curls.

The sight of him being affectionate to our son was partly breaking my heart for the both of them. He looked so sad gazing at our son, like he didn't want to leave. But he had to live with the consequences of the things that he did. If he didn't want to part with his son, he should have thought this could happen before contracting that bitch of a sub over a year ago. Too bad his control was too important than his family. What if I had never walked in on them? Maybe I would have never find out and I might be more of a mess now and would be more painful and harder to accept the fact that he continued to have a sub with me not knowing anything and after giving him a second chance.

_Come on move, Steele! Now was not the time to think of the 'what ifs'. Get Christian out of here without drawing blood!_

Before I could speak, Christian finally noticed me and stood up. He walked towards me but didn't say anything. His eyes that were full of sadness just awhile ago now turned into the usual cold and controlled grey orbs.

"Did you have dinner before he fell asleep?" I whispered, not wanting to wake my baby boy. "If not, I need to wake him up because-"

"Yeah, we did. He almost ate everything, like meal for four people, that's why he passed out right away."

I just nodded and led him out of the room. He closed the bedroom door slowly as I started to walk back to the living room. But after a few steps, I felt him grab my arm and turned me to face him.

"Ana, wait." I looked down to his grip on my arm and he seemed to notice that I wasn't liking the touch so he pulled his hand back. "I just wanted to say sorry about last night. I-"

I cut him off before he could continue to say more. "Christian, thank you for taking Teddy to Disney Land." He was about to say something so I quickly added, "that's all I wanted to say. And about last night, just please know your place. I appreciate that you were worried about last night's incident but it wasn't really necessary." We needed to get back before Gavin could come to check what's keeping us. I was still praying that Christian would come out here without any fist fight.

"I didn't know." His grey eyes looking so lost and full of undefined emotions. "And it hurts. So much. It fucking hurts knowing you're not mine anymore."

I didn't know if it was the mother in me or the old me who was beginning to feel sorry for Christian. All those times that we were together, he was my only one. And he was very proud of that. He took pride in being the only man in my life. He had those fifteen subs and Elena and I accepted it all without a second thought because I loved him. It was easy back then because I got all his attention and that he was changing for me. I knew it would not be easy for him to accept the fact I was no longer 'his'. Yes, we've divorced so technically, I was no longer his, but being the only man who had ever touched me and loved me intimately, I was still 'his' before I met Gavin. And honestly, I was a bit afraid of being intimate with someone else because the only touch that I have ever known and wanted was Christian's. I was afraid that I could never give back the same intimacy to any other man that I would eventually meet. I was frightened that I might call his name instead of the man that I was with. And I would hate myself if ever that would happen. Call me old fashioned, but I still believed that sex was only for two people who shared the same feelings of desire and want. Even if there was no love, as long as you know the person's touch and craving for it and would only be thinking of that person while you were making love, it was fine. It was called respect.

And what I felt when Gavin first touched me was anything but fear. He awakened every single cell of intimacy in my body. My heart was afraid but my body was telling otherwise. And in that moment that I just realized that after Christian, there was still hope. That I could undo all those memories with him that was already imprinted in me. That someone else could prove that I wasn't just Christian's forever. And Gavin just did that. I didn't know what he sees in me, but I was grateful that he was holding on to me. Even if I have Teddy who was now my number one priority and after knowing my past marriage, he was still beside me, wanted me despite all my flaws and insecurities.

_Yes, Steele. That's why you shouldn't pity this ex-husband of yours. he did this to the both of you. He was brave enough to get a sub back then, he should face this like a man also._

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It's time that I should think about myself first. I knew he was hurting but I wasn't doing anything wrong. It's not that I was cheating on him, right? For fuck's sake, we're divorced. He shouldn't act like this and man up to accept the fact that no one was to blame but his need for control. And that he had hurt me too. The worst way that it was.

"Christian. It has been over a year now. We are not together anymore." I took step back and shook my head. "And I don't think that it was any of your business to know every single damn thing that's happening to me now. And you said it 'fucking hurts'? How did you think I felt when I saw you whipping your sub at that time when we just reconciled? Which 'fucking hurts' the most between what you are feeling now and what I felt when I saw you with her? You tell me, Mr. Grey."

He just stood still, frozen. He wasn't saying anything but those frightened wide grey eyes was saying it all. Yes, Grey. I wasn't the same Ana that you could manipulate and sweet talk and could easily took pity of your sorry ass. Before that was my weakness, seeing him so lost like the four year old boy that he was when he did suffer a traumatic childhood with the crack whore. I couldn't handle seeing his grey eyes suffering any kind of despair. I couldn't help but feel my heart breaking for him. But not anymore. Looking at him now begging and feeling sorry just made me remember all the things he did. It wasn't fair that he was looking like the victim here not me. No fucking way. _Fuck yes, you are doing a good job Steele!_

I didn't wait for him to say a word and turned around to walk back to the living room. Gavin was pacing when I came back and Taylor was just standing beside the door.

"Ana." Gavin rushed to my side and cupped my face. "You okay?"

I just nodded and when I felt him stiffen, I quickly grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight. I knew he just saw Christian and tension in his body was pulsating wildly. I need to calm him down before all hell could lose. And I don't think Taylor would just stand there and watch his boss get attacked by someone. It would be a disadvantage for Gavin and I didn't want him to get hurt.

"Gavin." I whispered but he didn't seem to hear me. "Gavin, look at me." I said a bit louder and his eyes met mine in an instant. "Behave." I said enunciating the word for him to get my message.

He just nodded but his eyes were still hard as a steel and his jaw was clenched. _Good luck, Steele._

"Anastasia." Christian called as I turned to face him.

"Thank you again for bringing Teddy to Disney Land and for the whole weekend. I am sure that you made him so happy." I said sincerely. There was nothing in this world that would make me happier than seeing my boy getting all the love and attention that he deserved. Even with his father.

"You are welcome." His voice now was hard and reserved, even his grey eyes were blank and cold. Far from the sorry Christian I was with just a minute ago. "It made me happy too spending quality time with him." Then for a bit his voice turned soft. Mercurial man, that he was.

I could feel Gavin's hand clutching mine so tight. I need to get Christian out of here soon.

I nodded at Christian and was about say something but he beat me to it. "Grace wanted me to tell you that she will be here in Portland tomorrow and wanted to meet you for lunch, that is if you can. She will visit a patient who was transferred here from Seattle Grace."

Oh Grace! "Yes, I would love to see her too. Please do tell her that she can call me about the place and I will be there." I couldn't hide the smile that escaped my lips. It had been too long since I last saw her. I owe her so much and still considered her as a family. I couldn't wait to see her and Teddy would be over the moon with his grandma Grace's surprise visit.

Christian's eyes were fixed on my lips. It was like it was the first time he ever saw me smile. Then his eyes met mine and the longing was there. He was looking at me like I was still his wife and took a step forward. I sighed. Bad move Christian, because in a split of a second Gavin's arm was already around my waist.

"I think it's time for you to go if there's nothing else." Gavin said using his mean cop voice and stood taller keeping me at his side.

Christian just glared at him but didn't move a muscle. His eyes went down to my waist and gritted his teeth._ Yes, another man is touching me, get over it._ He then closed eyes like he was controlling whatever he needed to control inside of him.

When he opened his eyes, he took a step back and squared his shoulders. "Ana, I would like to take you to dinner sometime if you would let me. I'd really like to continue what we were discussing just awhile ago."

"Christian, I don't think-"

"Ana, please. There are things that you needed to know. Just one dinner. That's all I ask." Things I needed to know? About what exactly?

"She said no, Grey. So don't force her and just leave." Gavin muttered and was now in front me, shielding me from Christian. Seriously?

"I am not talking to you, cop. This doesn't concern you and don't decide for her. So better step aside." Christian spat back and I glanced at Taylor who came to Christian's side in a quick move.

"Or your bodyguard will do the job for you?" Gavin just snorted. "Everything about Ana concerns me. And she makes her own decision so don't force her to do something she doesn't want to."

"Oh I won't beat your ass, cop and neither Taylor. Even if all I wanted to do right now is to punch your fucking face but I won't. I don't want to upset Ana. So just fuck off."

"Yeah? I love to see you try asshole with or without your bodyguard. I don't give a flying fuck. A fucker like you needs a good beating. And then maybe you'll realize what a mother-fucking-son-of-a-bitch you really are. Don't want to upset her you said? You've got to be fucking kidding me, Grey."

Christian was about to pounce on Gavin so I stepped between them to stop this non-sense exchange of nasty words turning into a fist fight. "You two, stop!" I turned to Christian who was still glaring at Gavin. "Christian I am going to think about that dinner but it's time for you to leave. Please. Your son is already sleeping and I don't want him to wake up with the sound of your loud voices." I said trying to calm him down. Teddy was a good reason and it seemed to work because after giving him a stern look he retreated and walked towards the door.

"You know how to reach me, Ana. Good night." He said with a nod and a quick glare at Gavin and he and Taylor was out the door. Thank god, that was easy.

"That fucker needs to learn his lesson. What a cocky bastard." Gavin muttered under his breath.

"Gavin, that wasn't necessary. You should've let me handle him."

"But Ana-" I cut him off because I didn't want to talk about Christian anymore. I was already exhausted with the way things went.

"No buts. Next time keep your cool." I touched his chest that was beating wildly and kissed his cheek. "I'm hungry, let's eat?"

He just nodded but didn't move when I tagged his hand. "Are you going to accept that dinner with him?"

Part of me was really curious about what he wanted to say. Despite all the rejections he got from me, he looked so desperate to have that private time with me. Should I go or not? I knew he would never stop until he gets to talk with me and it would just make things harder for the both of us to move on if he would continue to follow me. Maybe after that dinner he would finally realize that things between us would never go back to the way it was. No matter what he do or say.

I knew Gavin wouldn't like it but I needed to do it somehow. "I'm going to think about it."

* * *

"Ana."

Grace stood up and gave me a tight hug. She was still her elegant self, the one that really stood up even with just casual clothes. Dr. Trevelyan-Grey possessed that warm and confident aura wherever she went. All these years, that kind smile of hers had always been present whenever she sees me. I still consider her as my second mother. With Carla on the other side of the country, Grace had always been there for me and Ted. Even after the divorce, she never failed to check on us. Before we left Seattle to move here in Portland, she offered us to stay with them while I was still trying to find a place for me and my son. Of course I declined. I fully appreciate her kindness and Carrick's, but still, Christian was their son and I didn't want them to choose me over him. I didn't want to make things awkward between them. They were Christian's family and he needed them. I never told them the real reason of the divorce but Grace had somehow guessed that her son cheated on me. That hug she gave me when I saw her for the first time after the divorce was that hug of a mother, comforting and protective type. I couldn't ask more from her.

"Grace." I hugged her back and took our seats.

"Where's Teddy?" She said and looked around for my son.

"He's still at the daycare. Something happened when I went to pick him up for lunch. He spilled his ice cream that was given to him by Mury, the facilitator since he did good with the activities in the morning. Someone ran over us and he was throwing a fit until he gets a new one. And I was going to be late and didn't want to make you wait for long so he's just going to come over in a bit." Luckily Gavin came on time and was now calming Teddy and bought him an ice cream. I was just not sure if it was a good idea to introduce him to Grace.

"Oh poor boy. I am going to buy him lots of those ice cream if he wants!" I chuckled at her enthusiasm in spoiling her grandson.

I learned that she was visiting her former patient with a leukemia. She was just a five year old angel and I couldn't help but feel Grace's empathy for the child. She's giving her full support for the child's recovery. The typical Saving Grace. She really had a big heart.

"This Saturday is the annual Coping Together charity event and I want you to come Ana. I don't know how things are going with you and Christian but I want you to be there as part of our family." She grasped my hand and gave it a slight squeeze. "I will understand if you'll decline but everyone would be very happy to see you there." I couldn't break Grace's heart about the Coping Together invitation so I told her that I was going to think about it because I didn't want to make things awkward if Christian would be attending too.

"I am not sure about Christian though. He said he is currently working on some merger with the Japanese and all those business stuff. So, I am not sure if he can make it this Saturday." I just nodded and didn't comment about that. Maybe without Christian at the event, it would be easier for me to accept Grace's invitation.

We then continued to chat about how things are in Seattle. We were laughing at Ava's recent attempt to learn how to ride a bicycle when I heard my baby boy's sweet voice.

"Grandma!" Teddy jumped off Gavin's arms and ran to Grace's lap.

"Teddy! How is my baby boy doing?" Teddy begun babbling about the Disney trip.

Gavin approached us slowly and I couldn't help but to notice again the women at the diner checking him out. Who wouldn't if he was in his sexy uniform and aviator sun glasses? He was definitely a head turner and there was nothing I could do to stop any form of female species from drooling over him.

"Ana." I stood up as he kissed my temple.

Grace was now staring up at him and I couldn't tell what exactly her expression was.

"Gavin, I want you to meet Grace."

He offered his hand to her. "Nice to meet you, Ma'am." He said and gave her that heart stopping smile.

* * *

**A/N:** Update on a Saturday night! HI GUYS! How do think Grace will react meeting Gavin? And do you think Ana should go to that dinner with Christian?

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE** FOLLOWS, FAVORITES** AND **REVIEWS! You guys are freaking amazing.**

I did make a FB page for SS and so far only 1 added me. LMFAO I think that's Amy SS no. 1 fan? The link is posted on my profile, if you're interested add away :)

I am overwhelmed with all the positive reviews I am getting in writing lemons. Really guys, thank you. I still get nervous from all your feedback, you know lol. So, I would definitely write more for you guys, expect something new and different. And if you have any ideas or suggestions let me know! I will try to add them to my lemony scenes.

That's all. And oh, check out some good reads from Missreadingfool's** The Management of Christian Grey **and Carmelroads' **Sex and Seattle. **Go read em and you won't be disappointed.

Happy Weekend!


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N:** SLEEPY FRIDAY! My apologies for making you wait way too long for this chapter. Sorry.

This is the longest chapter I have ever written. So I hope that it's worth the long wait. And I'm sorry that I wasn't able to reply to you guys from the last two chapters. **MASSIVE THANK YOU** for all the responses. Really. **I don't think words could ever express how much I appreciate your support and love for this story. :)**

**1761 REVIEWS**. Wow. Crazy. Abso-fucking-lutely crazy. Last chapter had **way over** 100. **Amazing. You guys.** Freaking amazing. One guest reviewer said that I must be happy and excited to get so many reviews each chapter now. Actually, to say that I'm happy and excited is an understatement. :P

Thanks to those who added me on FB. And to the FSOG FF Group on FB, Smile Rose, Marpuri, CarmelRoads, LOVELySTELLz, Lilithblood and the others thank you all for the warm welcome!

To answer the question of my new follower and reader Girl of Steel, Phoebe doesn't exist in this story. And how do I picture Gavin? Hmm, I don't want to influence you guys because maybe you all have different Gavin in your mind, but let me just say this; I was thinking of Chris Hemsworth's body when I was describing Gavin's. I just added a tattoo. ;)

The lemony goodness here is an idea from** Lori66**. When I received her message I was actually researching about it! LOL So, lemme know what you think! I did my best and read everything(but not really) I needed to know so I could write it. *nervous as hell*

I read that some are already getting bored with the story. I am not a fan of drama after drama. And there still so much to happen if you can just hold on and wait. I wish I have more time to write so I could update like every other day :(

And lastly, shout out to all Filipinas out here in FF! To Marpuri, Lovereads and to the others xx

Sorry for another long ass A/N. Love you guys! Mistakes are all mine. Reviews are highly appreciated. x

* * *

**ANA**

Gavin had already left after a quick lunch because he had to go back to the station after getting an emergency call. Actually, he was on duty but was just around the area and decided to have lunch with me and Ted. He already knew that I was meeting Grace, that he learned was Christian's mother last night. He was reluctant at first to join us but I didn't want him to eat alone in the corner watching over us like some kind of a stalker. I had no idea what would Grace think about meeting Gavin but one thing was for sure, we weren't doing anything wrong to hide our relationship.

Gavin gave me a silent treatment after Christian left last night. He didn't talk the whole dinner and didn't even make a move to touch me. I didn't say more after I told him that I was going to think about the dinner with Christian. He was thinking that I was going because I still had feelings for Christian and I did fall for the same trick by being manipulated by his words. Well, no. I did not. If Christian was thinking that one night could fix everything, he was wrong. Nothing, I mean nothing could ever take back whatever we had before. I knew he was going to explain whatever happened the night I walked in on them. Because unlike the first time where I did listen to all of his shit and I gave in, I walked out and never turned back after what happened. And here he was, going to try the same old tricks to lure me in with his 'You need to know' bullshit. Even if I was a bit curious of what he wanted to say, the new Ana knew better. _You better be. Don't tell me you're getting soft now, Steele?_

By the look of Gavin's face last night, I was certain that he was just holding back of telling me not to go. He didn't say anything even when he left for his apartment. He just kissed my forehead and I was left alone. The moment he was out the door I broke down to tears and curled on the couch. I didn't expect to feel that hurt of being ignored like that. He had been the sweetest ever since I met him. And I already got used to him taking care of me that when he ignored me, almost rejecting me, I felt that I was back to being alone and … abandoned. I then finally realized that I should be more open to him like what he was to me. So I took off and was in front of his door in less than a minute. I was just about to knock when the door opened with Gavin looking like he was in hurry. When he saw that I was just standing outside, he scooped me in his arms and kissed me liked a hungry beast. He didn't care if we were out in the open, his hands were all over me, feeling me up like I would disappear any minute. He kept saying sorry and I got so annoyed that I didn't let go of his lips for whole 10 minutes. I was the one who should apologize not him, so instead of saying it, I kissed him with all I got that we were both left panting hard after the full make out session outside his apartment. We spent the rest of night cuddling on my couch until we fell asleep together, me on top of him.

That time I learned something new about him. He wasn't the type of guy who was all sex. He was more of a cuddle kind after a usual fight or argument. I got used to the rough make up sex with Christian every after argument that we had in the past. Although I loved the slow making love after the rough one, I found the cuddly type sweet and romantic. He felt so warm and hard at the same time. I knew he was aroused but he kept his control, so instead of the usual 'make up sex' after a couple's fight, we just cuddled with bit of touching, groping and lot of kissing. We did talk about the dinner invite. I told him that it was something that I needed to do and that I wanted him to trust me. I knew he wasn't satisfied with short explanation but as always he said he understood and that he trusted me and respected my decision.

"He seems like a nice guy Ana." Grace said snapping me out of thoughts from last night's events.

I smiled shyly and nodded. "Yes, he is."

I was having a hard time reading Grace's expression when she learned that I was dating Gavin. She seemed surprised at first and I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad kind of surprise for her.

"And you look happy and comfortable with him. How did you two meet?" She asked curiously.

"I met him on the day he moved to the apartment next to mine."

"Oh, so you're neighbors then." She said quietly but not giving away anything.

I looked at her closely because deep inside, I was kind of nervous of how Grace would think about me dating someone else. She was her usual kind self during the short conversation she and Gavin had a little while ago. I saw her watching his every move when he was serving food for me and Ted. She saw how attentive he was especially with my son. I didn't miss the spark in her eyes when she saw my son giggling so hard at Gavin's childish jokes. Even if she wasn't really my mother, her approval of my relationship with Gavin would be big relief in my part.

Our eyes locked and just like that she knew instantly what I had been worrying about.

"Grace, I…" She cut me off even before I could say anymore.

"Ana." She leaned closer and grasped my hand. "There's no need for you to explain. I understand that you are moving on. Yes, I was surprised that you're seeing someone now, but hey, you deserved to be happy. Christian, he's my son and of course part of me still want you to get back together and see you both happy again." She gave me an apologetic smile before continuing. "Even though you've never shared what happened to your marriage, the sadness in your eyes was enough to know that you suffered a great deal of pain from the divorce or whatever Christian did. That's why I will support you with everything that you will do. And if this man is making you happy then I'm happy for the both of you."

"Thank you. It means so much to me. And honestly, I didn't expect things to be like this for us either. It just happened." I said with a small smile and shrugged.

"That is fine. You are a smart woman Ana. Just do what you think would be the best for you and Teddy. I'm glad they are getting along well." She said while playing with my son's copper curls.

"Yes, he's really good with Ted." Grace's smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. Maybe she was really hoping that Christian and I would be back together in a way after all the mess that happened.

Grace settled the bill and just gave me 'I got this and you won't pay' look when I tried to insist on paying half of it. Teddy looked sad saying goodbye to his Grandma but Grace assured him that the next time he would visit them in Bellevue they would go to the zoo and would buy him more ice cream. I just shook my head when Teddy went hyper because of the excitement he felt for the next visit with his grand parents.

"Ana." Grace tugged my hand when we reached her car. "You can bring him on Saturday if it would make you more comfortable to come to the Gala."

"Gavin?" She nodded and I was shocked that she wanted him to come with me, I didn't expect that. "I will ask him then."

With a hug and a final wave, Grace drove off.

* * *

"Christian, it's me." I said when he answered on the second ring.

"Ana?" He sounded so surprised that I called.

"I called because I would like to ask when is this dinner that you were saying."

"You accept?"

"Yes but this will be the last time that I will accept any personal meeting with you that doesn't concern our son." I said trying to make things clear for him before he jumped into wrong conclusion that I was coming back to him.

He was silent for a bit before he spoke again. "I understand. Thank you for giving me this chance to talk to you. Is Thursday evening alright with you? I'm in New York right now until Thursday morning then back on Friday."

"Thursday evening then." I didn't add that I have no intention of knowing his busy schedule.

"I'll pick you up at 6." Oh there's the classic Mr. Grey.

"No, just tell me where. There's no need for you to come and get me."

"But Ana…"

"Gavin will drive me." That silenced him and didn't push anymore. I wouldn't let him have his way just because I said yes to that damn dinner.

I heard him sighed after the long pause. "Alright. I'll get back to you once I've arranged the place."

"Okay. Good bye Christian."

"I'll see soon, Anastasia." I heard him say before I ended the call. There was still this weird feeling every time he calls me with my first name. Maybe that would be his only effect on me that would never change.

It's Tuesday morning and the bookstore wasn't that really busy. I sold only 5 books so far, including a 'How to Masturbate Book Guide' to a librarian-like lady with very thick eye glasses. She didn't even look at me when she paid for the book. I guess it was really embarrassing to buy books like those in a bookstore. Maybe she wasn't familiar with online shopping to save herself from major embarrassment.

Masturbate book guide… Then I suddenly remembered Gavin's little fantasy of watching me play with myself. Last night we had yet another mind-blowing and body shocking phone sex. I was on my tub and he was on night duty. It was different with the first time because he added a lot of dirty talks of what he would do to me once he gets to see masturbating. I looked around the bookstore just to make sure that no one was around to see me squirming just by thinking about last night's phone sexcapade.

Gavin had been extra sweet ever since Sunday night. Every time I checked my phone there would be a message from him saying that he missed me and wanted to hear my voice and some explicitly raunchy ones. Geez, that man. I was with Teddy last night making a quick detour at the grocery store for some ice cream for my son and a bottle of wine for myself when I received a text message from Gavin saying:

_Ana, I miss you so fucking much. I can't wait to suck your pretty little clit and make you come so hard and lick every drop of your sweet and fucking tasty cum. And then I will fuck that sweet mouth of yours until you tame my rock hard cock. – Mr. B. _

I blushed furiously and the older man at the counter seemed to notice because he asked me if I was okay. The other guys waiting on the line gave me weird knowing looks too. I was so embarrassed that I almost dragged Teddy home as fast as we can. When I got home, I called Gavin with the intention of scolding him but as soon as I heard his panty-melting voice, I just sighed and admitted that I missed him too.

And now I was thinking of how I would make that fantasy into reality for him. Well I did it before, with Christian, but I didn't get to finish it, like make myself come in front of him because not after a minute he would take over and rather do it himself. That's why I was feeling nervous about this knowing Gavin would watch me come undone. Just imagining how he would look like with those intense light blue eyes watching me was making me more excited than being nervous. Maybe I should buy a vibrator to spice things up for him?

I quickly grabbed my phone and sent a message to Tiffany. _Let's do this, Steele._

**GAVIN**

I sighed heavily as soon as I hit the couch. Fucking hell. That was one hell of a car chase. I would give it to that son of a bitch, he was fast, but I was faster than him. With only 3 hours of sleep, I wasn't sure if I still had some energy with me to catch the fucker. But as always, the excitement of beating up another bad guy did the trick and the adrenaline woke up my whole body and was ready for more action. I fucking love my job.

_Well, your dick wants a blow job. _

Jesus Christ. Here I was, dead tired and horny as hell. What a combination, yeah? It had been three days since the last time I was inside Ana. And every time I close my eyes, all I could see was her gorgeous face, her sweet smile, her luscious lips and smoking hot body. As much as I hate the double shift, if it would make me have more off days then I would gladly take more just to have the weekends off to spend time with my Ana and Ted. I couldn't wait to touch her face and kiss her like a hungry animal for his mate. I couldn't wait to make love to her, to show her how much I care for her, how much I love her. _Boyle, you got it so fucking bad, my man._

I knew I have to wait for the right time to pop those three words. I didn't want to scare her off. Not now or never. And there was her bastard of an ex, that fucker was damn lucky that Ana was there to calm my rage to beat the shit out of him. How dare him stood in front of her like nothing happened, like he didn't cheat on her and was casually asking her out in front of her lover. What a fucking asshole. One day, I would fucking beat him, I swear.

I didn't like the idea of her with that son of a bitch in an intimate dinner. Just the thought of them together was making me crazy and jealous as hell. Ana didn't elaborate why she was going but the look in her eyes did give me all the assurances in the world that she would come back to me. She told me to trust her with her decision. Never in hell that I would trust her ex to keep his hands off her but I trust Ana. More than anyone. It would not be easy but I just got to trust her.

I was driving when I received a call from her. She asked where I was and what time I was going home. She said that old Al was closing the bookstore after lunch and that she would be home early. I told her that I was on my way home and she instructed me not to take my uniform off when she comes to my apartment to make lunch for us. I wonder what she was planning.

I heard the door opened and there was my lady, beautiful as ever in a shell pink lace camisole top and skin tight jeans that was hugging her sexy ass with matching black pumps. Holy hell. I could feel my self getting hard already just by looking at her not even naked. It was getting hotter now with the vest that I was wearing and Ana in the room. I don't think I could last all throughout lunch without touching her. Maybe I should just jump on her right now to end this misery that I was going through at the moment. _Hold on, big guy, don't think with your dick. Calm the fuck down._

"Gavin, I'm here." She called out as she closed the door.

I stood up and tried keep my self-control intact as I approached her and gave her an open wet kiss on the lips. _I want more_. But I had to pull back to help her first with what she was carrying.

"What are these?" I asked as placed the paper bags on the counter top.

"Lunch. I didn't get to cook because there were last-minute customers who bought some nursery books. So I thought I'll just grab something on my way here." I spun her around to face me as I trapped her between me and the counter.

She cupped my cheek and slowly caressing my stubbly cheek. I knew she liked my stubble that's why I didn't completely shave them every morning. _And you love her touch, you love-sick puppy._ Oh fuck yes, _I do love her touches_. She was my home. Every touch sent my heart beat into crazy rhythm. And she was the only one who could do this to me. She had this power over me that I couldn't even resist. Back in SFPD, I was the best cop. Natural instinct, with a speed of lightning and with eyes that could easily see through every people's mind. But with Ana, my cop persona seemed to be so weak against her effortless beauty. With just one look, those blue wide orbs could melt me in no time. She had me. Fuck, she definitely had me.

"You're still in uniform." She said as she licked those delectable lips. "I like." She added and gave me that sweet smile. Fuck's sake, how could I hold off my horny self if she would continue to seduce me unintentionally? _Or is she really seducing me?_

"Really? Even if I'm all hot and sweaty in it?" I said as I licked the side of her lips. Hmm, delicious.

She snaked her arms around my neck and bit my bottom lip. "I like you hot and sweaty."

Fuck lunch. I grabbed her waist as I captured her lips with mine. She tugged my hair as I forced my tongue inside her mouth and I got rewarded with that sexy moan of hers. She kissed me back like she couldn't get enough too. And that just made me harder than I was at the moment.

She broke the kiss first and stopped me when I tried to kiss her again. "Wait, lunch first."

I groaned as her hands traveled down to my torso but stopped when she reached my belt. "We have to eat."

"I could eat you now." I growled and cupped her breasts. _Oh shit, they're too soft. I can't wait to suck those pink little nipples._

She moaned and closed her eyes for a bit while I continued to massage her breasts through her camisole. And when I was about to pull down her top to release her twins, she slapped my hands off her and crossed her arms. Damn.

"Food first or you won't have anything even the dessert." No fucking way.

"Yes, Ma'am." I gave her a salute that made her giggle. "Should I change clothes first? I have so many things with me—"

"No. Don't change." I was about to question her why but she cut me off. "No questions. Got it?" She said raising her right eyebrow at me.

"Yes, Ma'am. Roger that." Hmm, now I was beginning to wonder what she was up to? Why did she need me in uniform complete with my belt and all the things I have in it?

She brought grilled chicken sandwich with fries. But my attention was no where the food in front of me. I couldn't take my eyes off my lady. I could tell that there was something different about her today. I just couldn't pin point what exactly that was. After cleaning the dishes that I insisted to do, she dismissed me saying that I should go back to the couch and relax a bit. What the hell? But I did anyway.

A few minutes later, she emerged from the kitchen looking flustered. Why was she nervous? Was she going to tell me something?

She sat down beside me and I instantly wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"What's up?" I asked when I couldn't stand the silence anymore.

"Uhm… What exactly is all that stuff?" She asked pointing at my belt. That was unexpected.

"Why would you want to know? It's just all those things that are necessary for a cop to bring everyday." I shrugged.

"Well," She gazed at me through her lashes, "I might give you something in return if you will show me all those things." She said in a low seductive voice and trailed a finger from my neck down to my collar. Holy shit. I could come any minute now if she would continue to torture me with her slow and sweet seduction.

Oh, my lady.

**ANA**

_Okay Steele, don't be a chicken. Don't back down now. _

I balanced myself with one hand on Gavin's shoulder and straddled his lap. His hands quickly settled on my bottom then used his foot to scoot the coffee table back a few inches.

"And what are you going to give me in return for the mysterious secret of my weapons as a knight, your highness?" I chuckled when he said it in a very manly and gentle voice like a true knight. Oh my Mr. Boxers.

This was my game so I better play it cool. I leaned closer just few inches from his lips and whispered. "Maybe… making one of your fantasies come true?"

He froze under me wide eyed. I knew his brain was still processing what I've just said. I could tell that he didn't expect things to turn out like this. Well, surprise surprise. This would be the one of the things I could do to please him. And I was very sure I could do this, with or without experience.

His eyes turned a shade darker and he gripped my bottom like he just guessed correctly what I was going to do or if he would play along with my game. I licked my lips in anticipation and grinded my hips slowly over his zipper where I was sure his erection was trying to break free from its confinement. _Oh boy_.

Without taking his eyes from my face he withdrew his gun from the holster on his hip. ".45 caliber Glock. The clip." He said manipulating the weapon so what I assumed was the 'clip' dropped out. He shoved it back and pulled three more rectangular metal objects off his belt. "Spare clips."

"Yes, the gun." I said looking closely to his weapon. "Why did you become a police officer? I'm sure there were other opportunities for you after being in the army." I asked because it had been on my mind ever since we met. There was just no perfect moment to ask like now.

"I don't want to do the same shit, different day. Like office work or shit like that." He said with a disgusted face. "My dad offered me to join them in the real estate business but I declined. No nights are the same being a cop. I like being first on a scene, then moving on to whatever's coming next. I never know what's coming when I get in the car. That can be bad, but most of the time it's good."

His words rang with flat honesty I appreciated. I just nodded and gave him a shy smile. But before I could pick out another mysterious item from his belt, he leaned forward just enough to kiss me. Heat radiated from his lips to mine. He flicked his tongue just inside my lips then sat back and held out a leather case.

"Handcuffs." He said.

Oh. That I was very familiar with. No need to ask questions.

"I wear them behind my back so I can get to them with either hand." He said in a low tone of his voice.

With the look in his eyes, I was sure that he knew I did have experiences with handcuffs. It was one of the kinky fuckeries that I enjoyed in the past. And now I couldn't help but to imagine myself being handcuffed by Gavin like I was being arrested and him having his way with me for violating the law.

Oh. My. God. Did I just create a new fantasy of him manhandling me and him being a kinky cop? Holy fuck. It sounded so wrong but I felt hot and bothered by it. Would he be fine with role plays? Would he like to try those kinky stuff with me? Shit. Crap. Shit.

_You're just horny as fuck, Steele. Just take things one day at a time, alright?_

Oh geez. This was supposed to be Gavin's fantasy not mine. I shook my head and saw that he was eyeing me closely. Maybe he was thinking that I was such a weirdo trying to seduce him just a while which I thought didn't work out right seeing he wasn't really seduced by me and now I was having all those crazy thoughts because of handcuffs.

"Next?" He asked still watching me with those curious light blue eyes.

I nodded and then he spread his hands palm up, leaving his chest opened to me. He wore a short-sleeved shirt. At first I didn't know what he wanted me to do but the second I guessed that he wanted to show me something underneath I trailed the tips of my fingers along the hard muscles of his forearms, up over the bulge of his biceps, to touch his nametag and badge, then across where I usually felt the firm muscle and smooth skin of his deltoid and pectoral. Instead, raised ridges and the hard edge of something covering his chest stopped my questing hands.

I began to undo the buttons of his dark blue polyester shirt, one by one, down his chest and upper abdomen, the spicy scent of Gavin and clean sweat rising as I opened the shirt.

I reached his belt and stopped, spreading the fabric wide to expose a black vest, secured around his torso with wide Velcro straps.

"It's a bullet resistant vest. They're hot, they're heavy, they're uncomfortable when you're sitting in the car and no patrol cop in this town goes on duty without one."

"Resistant?" I thought they were bullet proof, not resistant. "And are you on patrol now?"

"Cop-killers will get through them. Some rifle bullets, too." He said looking really uncomfortable with the vest. "And no, I just covered Sammy's patrol duty, he was sick last night."

I nodded and touched the hard vest once more. "Okay, I want this off."

He grimaced and wrinkled his nose. "Ana, I am soaked with sweat—"

"I don't care." I honestly didn't care even if there was some kind of emergency outside the door. I was just eager to start.

I tugged at the Velcro and heard the distinctive rip of the material separating.

"Okay! Wait, not that way. I've got those straps tightened just right." He leaned forward and I helped him shrug out of his shirt. It pooled around his waist, caught by his belt. With quick movements he unfastened the Velcro holding the sides of the vest together and pulled it away from his body to drop on the floor.

His white v neck shirt fit cushy to his chest and was indeed soaked with sweat. My mouth, on the other hand, went dry at the sight of his carved muscles under the clinging wet shirt. I took the damp fabric in either hand, tugged the shirt free of his pants and pulled it over his head, on the floor next to his vest.

He sat back looking like a Greek god with his exposed chest and ripped abs. I could feel the wetness building up between my thighs and I knew it was just making things easier and faster.

He continued by removing a black cylinder from his belt. "OC spray. You know it as Mace." Then he reached again for another device on his belt. "And a Taser."

He then again sat back again and crossed his arms. I swallowed hard and stood up. _Okay, you can do this, Steele! _

I stretched my hand to him, willing to push himself up. He grasped my hands as he stood up and I tip toe to kiss him swiftly on the lips. "Thank you, Officer. Now, time for your reward."

I led him from the living room to his bed, looking confident but deep inside I was calming my nerves and reassuring myself that I wouldn't look like an idiot in front of my man. Gavin was surprisingly silent until we stopped by the bedroom door. He was just watching me closely with those intense light blue eyes getting darker every minute, and with his jaw clenched like he was holding back in taking action or something.

I released his hand and stepped back from him. "Stay there and watch me."

I turned around now facing the and slowly lifted off my top throwing it aside. I couldn't see him but I could feel the heat radiating from his body. I quickly removed my black pumps then next I unbuttoned my jeans slowly, pulling them down my legs bending forward, giving Gavin a full view of my thong-clad back side.

I smiled as I heard him growled and made my way to the bed side table.

"Fuck Ana, thong. I like it." Then he was behind me all of a sudden. His arms snaked around my waist as I felt his tongue licked the right side of my neck.

"Hey, I told you to watch me." I said trying to resist him but I found myself giving him more access to my neck.

"But you're so fucking hot, Ana. I can't just watch."

He then captured my lips and kissed me hungrily. I didn't want to but I pulled back quickly before things get more intimate and heated. I have prepared this for him. I couldn't ruin his fantasy just because I was horny as hell and that I could come just with those wanton looks that he was giving me. _Oh my._

I shook my head and cupped his stubbly cheek. "This is for you." His eyes widen and I could see that my actions were now registering in his lust filled mind. Surely, he couldn't just forgot about that fantasy that he mentioned this past weekend right?

I positioned myself in the middle of bed with my lacy bra and thong still on. I knelt in front of him as I reached for the clasps of my lacy bra. I threw it aside and cupped my breasts with both hands. I looked straight into his eyes and bit my lip when I heard him groaned and was now unbuckling his belt, removing his pants as quickly as possible.

"Fuck, Ana. Show me. Play with yourself." He said roughly as he begun stroking himself through his boxers.

I slide my hand over my breast, circling a nipple before pinching it and rolling it between my fingers. I cup my breasts, lifting it slightly.

"Yes, just like that."

I closed my eyes and moaned as I was continuously fondling my breast and getting my nipples swollen and hard from the pinching and pulling. I sat back on my heels and let my right hand drift down my stomach and between my legs. I put a finger inside my mouth while I slid a finger down my wet slit. I smiled when I saw his mouth now hanging open as he continued to stroke himself while his intense light blue eyes were glued to my finger stroking my wet core, spreading the wetness up to stomach then to my nipples.

He growled as he stepped off his boxers. And there he was, his massive erection pointing up to his stomach, rock hard and throbbing with veins showing and a leaking pre-cum. Oh yes.

"Get that thong off and show me everything." He demanded in his mean cop voice.

I didn't get intimidated but instead I felt more turned on with his actions and with his commanding voice.

I slowly slid my thong down my legs and threw it in his direction. He caught the tiny piece of lace and smelled it with his eyes closed. "I'm going to keep this one." Oh my. "Spread those legs and show me how wet you are."

He watched as I slid two fingers between my folds and felt myself getting bolder as I opened them for him to view my insides.

"Holy fuck. You are so wet and those pussy lips. Oh god." He stroked himself faster and licked his lips while his eyes roamed from my face then down to my exposed wet core.

The hunger in his eyes sent shivers all over me as I rubbed my throbbing clit with my thumb. I played with my nipples using my other hand pinching harder and pulling making it more sensitive and swollen. I moaned as I pushed two fingers inside me. Then I began thrusting my fingers in and out, my thumb flicking at my clit. My hips also began moving as my breathing got harder.

He let out that sexy growl, pumping his rigid cock into his hand. "Ana, fuck yourself like that. Yes, faster. Put another finger."

And I did. Oh my god. I felt so full with three fingers inside me. And for the first time in years, I was enjoying pleasuring myself with my fingers in front of my man. I got so used with Christian's body that I almost got obsessed with only his touch, that I didn't really believe that I could pleasure myself on my own. I always preferred him to do the action not me because I feel like I would just look like a fool and would never look sexy doing myself with the little experience that I had. But with Gavin's presence and seeing him like this, panting and almost drooling with pleasure watching me, I couldn't help but feel sexier and confident that I could definitely bring pleasure to my lover.

I brought my fingers deeper and I moaned loudly as I hit a certain spot. Oh fuck that was so good. I could hear Gavin's breathing in pants with his eyes locked to my fingers and my thumb. I continued to thrust my fingers until I felt my self with this intense release coming closely.

"Ana." He muttered under his breath. "You're the hottest fucking thing ever."

With that I pinched my nipples harder and rubbed my clit faster. I repeated the same thrust to that sweet spot over and over again. I was getting lost in the sheer ecstasy and absolute pleasure and I didn't hold back as I readied myself for my release.

"Come on, Ana. I'm so close."

I screamed as I felt a sudden gush of fluid shooting straight, down to my legs. Oh my god. It felt so fucking amazing.

Wait. Hold on a second. I looked down panting and saw my hands soaked with clear liquid that was pooling between my legs. Fuck.

Did I just pee?

Oh shit.


	27. Chapter 27

******__****DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy. Just this story. And NOT a professional writer. Just sharing my first ff.**

******__****A/N:**Mistakes are all mine.

* * *

"Oh my god." I gasped in horror.

What did just happen?

Did I really...?

I looked closely at my soaked hand with wide eyes. Pee. I did fucking pee in the middle of a sexual activity! Holy fucking shit. How? Why? What? Even if I use all the WH questions, I couldn't think of an answer to this... this confounding and mortifying moment of my life.

I couldn't believe myself! I had never experienced something like this. Even with Christian, the person who I considered as the 'sex expert' or the 'sex god'. Never. Multiple orgasms, yes. Pee, no. A big hell no.

"Ana?"

Gavin! Oh no. What should I do? I couldn't face him. No. Not like this. Oh my god. Why did this happen?

I kept my eyes down cast and swallowed hard. I couldn't even look at him. Hell, I didn't even want to look at myself. I wished I could just disappear right now. How could I face him after I just peed on his bed? And worst, on the verge of orgasm. It was supposed to be a self-orgasm show for him not a pee show! I just ruined his fantasy. _Well done seductress queen pee, Anastasia Steele. Gross, freaking gross._

"Ana."

"Gavin, I-I-" I said in a shaky voice but I couldn't continue talking because all I wanted to do right now was to run back to my apartment and lock myself forever.

"Hey. Look at me." He said as I felt him approaching.

"I'm so-sorry. I, I didn't know that... Gavin please stop. Don't go near me." But even before I could shield myself from him, he cupped my face with both hands brought our foreheads together.

I kept my eyes closed, still mortified to look into his light blue eyes.

"Open your eyes."

I shook my head no.

"Ana." He said in a gentle voice. "You didn't pee."

What? Did I hear him right? Maybe I was just hallucinating from the humiliation of urinating in front of my lover and I was just dreaming that he didn't run for the hills?

"Ana. Open. Your. Eyes." My eyes shoot open hearing his restrained voice. Oh my god, he's mad at me!

"There, better that you can see me now." Opposite to the tone of his voice, his face was glowing and ever gently soft. Why did he look so happy? "It's not what you're thinking. You didn't wet the bed, I mean yes you did but not what you're thinking."

"What do you mean? I.. look at what I did." I gestured to his soaked sheets and felt my face turn red. "This is so..."

"You squirted. It's not pee."

What? I stared at him dumbfounded. "Squirted? What is that?" I asked brows furrowed. I tried to break away from him because it felt so gross and didn't want him near me at the moment. I thought that he was letting me go but he just grabbed my waist and pulled me close.

"From what I've heard, it's called female ejaculation. I've never been with a woman who can squirt before but I am damn sure you just did."

"Wait. But I've never done this before... I.." I said still confused and embarrassed.

"Clearly. You won't react like this if this wasn't your first time." He kissed my cheek and looked straight into my eyes with wanton desire. "It means you enjoyed pleasuring yourself Ana. And you did it in front me, watching you. Fuck me, that was hottest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. You never cease to amaze me my lady."

I didn't know if my face could turn more reddish than it already was. "I... This was the first I've done something like this in front of a man. I mean, I did try doing... myself but I have never really enjoyed it and when I did it in front of you, it was... different." I said shyly and gazed at him through my lashes. "You're not... You don't find this disgusting?" I whispered.

"Disgusting?" He pursed his lips and his eyes turned a shade darker as he captured my wrist and let me feel his manhood which was a bit covered by his own cum and was now rock hard. _Oh. My. God_.

"Finding out that it was your first time and that it was with me was nowhere near disgusting Ana. My cock is already hard again even though I just came loads watching you awhile ago." He attacked my lips with such force and I couldn't do anything but to kiss him back. "And you gave my fantasy a fucking bonus that is a huge turn on for me. Not all women could do that. Again, I am considering myself as the luckiest bastard in the whole fucking universe."

He kissed me hungrily, his tongue marking me, branding me. His hands were all over me. I didn't want to stop but I needed to, so I pulled back.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Gavin asked with a concerned tone.

I flushed still uncomfortable that he was touching me like nothing weird happened. _Duh, Steele. You heard the man. He loved it!_

"Can I take a shower first?"

He chuckled and grinded his hips against mine. "Oh Ana. Shower or not, I don't fucking care. I am going to taste every inch of your divine and heavenly body." He said the last few words in a slow seductive voice and I couldn't help but think that squirting wasn't a bad thing after all.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want me to just wait here?"

We've just arrived at the Heathman where Christian was waiting for me in a private dining room. I stopped myself from questioning him for picking a place where we held a lot of memories together. If I want to end the night as soon as possible, I need to restrain myself in opening up more about the past. I was thinking that this was his way of trying to woo me again, hoping that if I remember the things we had in the place where it all started, I would come back to his open arms. _Tough luck, Grey_. But nice try.

Gavin drove me and was going to look after Ted with Tiff and Cam in my apartment. I knew he was still uneasy with me meeting Christian in private place without him. Thank god for those two, I was sure they will entertain my two boys while I was gone. Though Cameron might give Gavin the creeps by staring at him the whole time. Oh my, I wished Gavin would survived the night.

"No need to. I will just send you a message if it is time to leave." I leaned closer to him and entwined our hands. "And besides, you'll just get bored waiting."

He sighed heavily and kissed the back of my hand. "Alright. But please promise me you'll call if something happened. I don't trust that Grey. Call me and I'll be here in a heartbeat." He said giving me his tough cop look, meaning he was damn serious.

I smiled and pulled him down for a kiss. "Roger that, Officer Boyle." He deepened the kiss like he didn't want to let me go and we were both left panting after we broke apart.

"Ana, I-" My phone rang and I reached for my purse to answer it. I mouthed 'hold on' to Gavin when I saw Christian was calling. Geez, what's his problem now?

"Chris-"

"Ana? Where are you? Did you change your mind? Did something happen to you?" He said cutting me off, firing question after question.

"Christian, I'm already here. Can you please calm down?"

I heard him sigh. "I see. I just thought..."

"Just give a me a minute, okay?" I hung up before he could say anything. Geez that man could use a little patience in waiting.

Gavin helped me out of my seat belt. He looked like he was in deep thought so I tried to get his attention by kissing his stubbly cheek.

"Hey. I promise I'll call." I said tapping the tip of his nose. He just gave me a nod and small smile. And with a hug and swift kiss I head off to meet Christian.

"Ms. Steele." Taylor greeted me at the main lobby and escorted me down to the private dining hall. The last time I've been here was when we had a weekend getaway, just Christian and I after his week-long business trip in New York which was two years ago. We had so much fun that weekend because Christian brought toys with him and we even rented the elevator for two hours. But after that, we didn't get a chance to come back again. Whenever I look around the place, all I could see was my time with Christian. Was it a bad idea to come here instead of a different place?

Before I knew it, Taylor opened the door for me and I stepped inside. Christian was standing looking anxious and well... his usual gorgeous self. He was wearing a dark grey suit with no tie and top two buttons of his shirt opened. His obvious relief was clearly visible when his eyes met mine.

"Ana." He said softly.

"Christian."

"Thank you for coming. I'm sorry for the call just awhile ago. I thought you've changed your mind because you were a minute late." He pulled a chair for me which surprised me because I thought it was the waiter's job to do so. He then sat opposite me as my eyes roamed around the small dining room that held a lot of intimate moment of us.

"It was fine. I didn't notice the time." The waiter placed a bottle of Sancerre and I couldn't help but to eye him suspiciously._ Is he serious?_ Don't tell me he already ordered the same food that we used to eat when we visit here?

"Would you like some wine, Anastasia?" He asked.

"No, but thank you." I shook my head and sighed. "Christian, what am I doing here?" I asked seriously.

He took a sip of his wine and just stared at me for whole 15 seconds. I couldn't read his expression, even his grey eyes were blank.

"Ana, first I would like to tell you how beautiful you look tonight." No way. I didn't even wear anything fancy thinking that he might get the wrong sign that I dressed up for him. I was just wearing a simple black pleated marocain crepe dress with matching black pumps that I bought on sale with no jewelries aside from my silver earrings. If it weren't for the Heathman Hotel as the place, I would have chosen my jeans over a dress.

I just kept a straight face and willing him to do all the talking because honestly speaking, I didn't have anything to say.

He sighed when I didn't say anything. "Looking at you now and I couldn't even touch you the way I used to is killing me. Your face, your eyes, your nose, your lips, your hands, your body..." he then closed his eyes like he was in pain, "every part of you I missed it all. I never imagined that a day would come that I won't be able to call you 'mine' anymore."

"I am glad that you went to see me, Ana. One of the reasons is that I don't want you to think that I never did anything this past year. The first time I saw you after that long year went terrible, it wasn't what I had in mind but I can't take that day back. There was never a second, an hour, a day, a week or a month that I didn't think about you. The night you left," he swallowed and brought his gaze to his wine, "my world ended. I knew that whatever I say or do to win you back would never work again. That's why I signed the divorce papers because I was hoping that maybe, one day you'll be able to forgive me by giving everything you want at that time. After a month of punishing myself, I woke up from a dream that snapped me out of the pitiful state that I was in back then." A month of punishing himself? What did he mean by that? "I called Flynn and told him that I needed his help. That I need someone to help me fix myself. Because that would be the only way to get my shit together and maybe it would be a good reason to get you to listen to me when I get the chance to talk to you."

"He teamed up with another shrink because he said that maybe he won't be that effective anymore considering that he was a close friend of us but we still had our own 2 hour post therapy session every week. With Dr. Scarlett, we had 4 times a week intensive therapy, longer hours than I usually had with Flynn. She was different and wasn't at least intimidated by me and didn't put up any of my shit. I worked almost 25/8." So he didn't go back to his lifestyle and contracted another sub? "It was just me, Gail, Taylor and GEH. Even them were cold to me. My family didn't even care if I still existed. Grace made sure to visit twice a month but that was it. I was never invited to the weekly dinner with them. I tried to endure the pain of being alone. Teddy's monthly visit made it bearable and gave me the will and hope. When you left... I didn't really take it as a lost. I didn't think that I actually lost you. I saw it as soul searching for me and that I'll be able to take you back once I was done with my issues. That's why I lost it when I found out that you were seeing someone else now... All those intense sessions I had went to thrash when I reacted badly and when my actions went out of control. I got someone looking after you hoping that I would get know everything about you even when we're apart. I got so relaxed and laid back because they never told me of you going out with another men. That time I thought that I was right, that maybe you were waiting for me. But I was a fool. An asshole. A son of a bitch. A selfish prick. I'm sure there's no word to actually describe what a monster I really was. It took me to see you with someone who can make you smile to take in everything. I was a cocksure, fucking bastard to think that I was the only one who could make you happy. You were the only person who understood me, who accepted me all with baggage and personal issues that I thought it would be easy for you to forgive me if I was ever going to fuck up. Contracting a sub seemed to be the perfect idea at that time but after it hit me to the gut, I did lose you. I lost my life. The life I have ever wanted. And now I don't think I could ever get that back. Get you back."

I have to give it to him. I could tell that everything he just said came from his heart and soul. His eyes were pleading and full of raw emotions. I saw the cocky CEO, the lost boy, the Christian I married and the Christian who just acknowledge all his flaws in front of me. Maybe that therapy sessions he had really did make some progress on him. _Well, Steele time to pack up. He said what he wanted say, so now let's go._

I was about to speak but it looked like he wasn't done yet. "Ana, I'm sure you don't want to hear about what happened that night." Was he really going to do this? I just raised an eyebrow at him and still kept my mouth shut. "I am not sure if you're going to believe me or not, well maybe not, if you thought that when we got back together when you gave me another chance, that I was still with her, no it wasn't like that. That night I was alone in the office when Carmela..."

He stopped when the waiter came back in with the first course. Oysters._ Why am I not surprised?_

"I hope you didn't mind. I just thought that it may save us the time from choosing the food. So I took the liberty of getting us the same..." I cleared my throat and took a sip of my sparkling water.

"It's fine. I'm gonna pass with the oysters anyway." His shoulders sagged like he didn't expect me refusing to eat. And after he mentioned the name of that bitch Carmela, my appetite suddenly took a week vacation to Hawaii. Aloha `oe!

He scowled and opened his mouth to say something but stopped when I gave him a stern look. Did he expect me to just go with the way he planned this night? I thought he was trying to change? But with this same stunts he was pulling, I wasn't quite sure now.

He just nodded and called the waiter who was almost out on the door. "Can you please clear these oysters and just bring the entrees right away?" The waiter just nodded and cleared our table. Poor oysters, I was surprised that he was letting them get to waste. Where was the fifty who wanted to feed the world?

"And can you please eat those oysters? You can have them and the other crew if they want. No need to worry about the bill." He said to the waiter who was shell-shocked as I was. _Well, there he is._

"I'm glad you didn't let those oysters go to the thrash."

He shrugged. "I tried." I just nodded, getting the clear message from those two words. Yes he did.

He took a large sip of his wine before speaking. "As I was saying... When she-" I held up a hand to stop him.

"Christian, I don't think I need to know more." He looked a bit stunned but composed himself quickly.

"I understand."

I took another sip of my sparkling water. I just had enough of his sub stories. Even if she did just show up that night, there was no excuse to what I saw.

"Christian, I want you to know that I'm glad you are seeking help and seemed serious about it. And I hope that you and your family would come in good terms one day. I didn't want them to abandon you that's why I didn't tell them anything. You need them. You need their support. So I hope that you won't let the gap between you get bigger and return to the way it was before I met you or even worst."

"You are right. Even if I bring Teddy with me to Bellevue, I'm just like an invisible man. But I don't blame them. I just missed those family time we had with them." He was looking then at my hand like he wanted to hold them. "Listen, Ana I know it's probably too late but I'm going to take this chance to tell you this. I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to see you upset with me. But I love you and I can't stay away from you. I know I don't deserve another chance but I can't live without you. If you'll give one more try and show you that I can change for you. I will do anything. Please." He said taking my hand in his.

I shook my head and pulled my hand back. "Christian. I'm sorry. I did what I can to make us work. You were a dom, a CEO, master of your universe and I was just Anastasia Steele. You were my first. You were my all, my life. I love you and always will but I am no longer _in love_ with you. I am falling..." I looked at his grey eyes and saw a tear fell from his cheek. "for someone now, though I never thought that it is possible after you. He's becoming my all, my life now. I've moved on to bigger and better, now it's your time to do the same."

Oh my god. There, I said it. I never thought of those words and it just came out of me. I've fallen in love... Did I really just say that in front of the man who I thought I was going to spend my life with? The only man who I ever thought that I was going to love? The man who made my heart beat like crazy, the one who woke up the woman in me? The man who showed me that in love anything is possible, even with his fifty shades, he can and can be loved? Even if I was the one who told him that he loved me, he was the sole reason I felt that wonderful feeling when he came into my life. And now, I no longer feel the same way about him.

_Steele. You finally realized._

"I am not telling you to stay away from us. I can't do that. I care about you as Teddy's father. He is my main priority now. And I know being with you is making him so happy. We need to be a team for Teddy. That's why I agreed to be civil with you even though I wasn't ready to face you yet. Whether I like it or not, you'll be around because it's your right. All I am asking is that, right now, us getting back together is really impossible. Maybe one day, I would be able to forgive what you did to me. But I am willing to put that aside for now. For Ted."

Christian didn't say anything. That tear from him said it all. Wejust stared at each other knowing we were now both one step in finally moving on our separate lives.

* * *

"Steele, are you ready?"

Kate asked looking so elegant in her black lacy Giambattista Valli floor length gown with touches of sequins with streamlined silhouettes. Her strawberry blonde hair was pulled back to showcase her delicate neckline. We were getting ready for the Coping Together gala where I was invited by Grace earlier this week. I wasn't sure if I was going to accept or decline the invitation. But Friday Morning, Kate gave me a surprise visit to help me out in picking a dress for the charity event. She insisted that I should go since she was 90 percent sure that Christian would be missing the event. And that everyone was excited to see me again, especially Mia.

I already asked Gavin the other day but he refused saying that it wasn't his type to attend such an event. I told him that Grace invited him too but again he just reasoned that he hated wearing a tux or any formal attire. When he noticed that I wasn't buying his reasons, he just then told me that he thought it would be awkward if he was going to meet the Greys. It was fine to meet Elliot since he was Kate's husband and Kate was my best friend. When I mentioned that Christian wouldn't probably be there, he pushed me to go and that I should meet them and enjoy myself because he was sure that I was missing the Greys too. He's just too sweet.

So here I was at Kate and Elliot's. Teddy and Ava were also coming with us, good thing that Elliot managed to find my little boy his own mini tux in such a short time. Kate bought me, despite of my strong protest not to, an Elie Saab crystal embellished floor length gown covered with sequins all over. Kate and I's were kind of a like, mine was just white and Kate's was black. She said that it was hers and Elliot's advance birthday present. I just rolled my eyes at them, giving up to the tenacious couple.

I spoke to Gavin just an hour ago, he was begging for me to send a picture of me and Ted in our formal wear. I wished for him to come and be my date for the evening. But that would be impossible now because he was hours away from Seattle. _Admit it Steele, you are missing him like crazy._

"I'm ready." I answered back with a shy smile. This would be my first time to attend a grand event in a year and I couldn't help but feel nervous as hell.

"Holy shit, Steele. You look so frigging hot! Too bad your hot cop isn't here to see what a hot momma you are!" I giggled as we made our way to Bellevue and in thirty minutes we were now at the grounds of the Grey household, packed with the same people who never fail to support the charity event.

Ted, my son, who was looking a lot like his father in his mini tux, was my lovely date for the night. But I was sure in a few hours, he would leave me to play with Ava and then would be out even if the event wasn't over yet.

We were greeted by Carrick and Grace and I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with their warm welcome. I could tell that Grace was really happy to see me and even asked why I was alone and didn't bring Gavin with me. Carrick also gave me a warm hug and welcome. He was so excited to see his grandson again. I bet that he couldn't wait to spoil Teddy knowing we would be staying with Kate and Elliot the whole weekend.

The place was the same like every year. The Greys never disappoint when it comes to their special event of the year.

"Ana!" The sound of the her voice overpowered the crowd that had gathered at the arrival area.

"Mia." I smiled sweetly as Mia enveloped me in a tight hug.

"I missed you! Oh my god, you look so hot in that dress, Ana!" She said excitedly almost jumping up and down. Mia looked so classy in black chiffon strapless long gown. Mia then began her own version of babbling about everything that happened the past year. I swear, Teddy got Mia's genes in being hyperactive.

I excused myself to the restroom when we got to our table. I wanted to check myself in the mirror hoping that a moment alone would calm my nerves to last the whole evening. I didn't know why I was so nervous tonight. I was now 100% sure that Christian wouldn't make it by Grace confirmation's that he was still in New York. But still, I didn't know what was bothering me. I didn't stay long in the restroom and made my way back to our table.

I heard the familiar sound of my phone so while walking I tried to fish it out of my purse. After a few steps I bumped into a hard body then long arms immediately caught my waist to prevent me from stumbling. _Well, hello there clumsy Steele!_

"Anastasia?" I looked up to see a black haired man with piercing brown eyes. He looked very familiar. Where did I see this guy before?

"Yes. Uhm, sorry for bumping into you and thank you for catching me." I said in a low voice and tried to release myself from his arms.

"You are very welcome. I must say you look so lovely tonight." He said in a smile giving me a full view of his perfect set of white teeth.

"Thank you. But I'm afraid I must go back."

"I heard about the divorce. Grey is stupid to let you go... If you don't mind I would like become your date tonight. We can make a good pair and show that arrogant Grey what he lost." What the hell? Was this guy for real?

The closer I looked at him, the better my mind was recognizing him. Anthony Richards! Christian used to do business with him but Christian turned down the greedy businessman because he was trying to make more money than the deal they had.

"I'm sorry but I do already have someone with me."

"Don't kid me, Anastasia. Surely your son doesn't count as a date right?" He said grinning but loosened his arms on me.

I took the chance to break free from him. But then he surprised me by pulling me to his side when a couple passed by and greeted us. He was pissing me off now.

"Excuse me, but I'm not your date." I said and pushed him off me.

He pursed his lips looking like he was getting mad. The nerve of him!

"Come on, Anastasia. Don't act like you are new to this. You are going-"

An arm suddenly circled around my waist. "I think she already said no."

I turned around to see the man who just came to my rescue.

* * *

**A/N:** Hello! I know... been six days again. I really am sorry for making you all wait. I can't do anything about my limited time to write. Even my time to sleep is now non-existent. I hope you all understand that Work is the main reason for my lack of updates this April. I f*cking hate this month. *kneeling and begging for forgiveness*

If you don't want to read this, just skip the numbers.

So I had another guest reviewer who was accusing me of 'copying' the masturbation scene. And another guest reviewer who was also an author here according to him/her, who wrote a long 'constructive' review from last chapter.

I tried to ignore the few negative reviews I get every chapter for weeks now. Like what I've said back in my A/N chapter 22, I was just gonna ignore em and focus on the positive ones, i mean a hundred and more lol. BUT I would like to say something about these two reviews I got from the last chapter.

1. I think there is this one person who really hates me and my story and every chapter she leaves a negative review either dumb or nonsense. Well sweetie, clearly, YOU CAN'T READ. Maybe its time for you to buy eyeglasses if you don't have one yet. PS. I love my guest reviewer who told yah to "eff yerself" you deserve that one.

2. 2.1 The guest reviewer/author who left the long review, first I am going to defend my reviewers who get mean if they needed to. Yes, they are Mean to those who are mean like the one I addressed above. They get mean because they have a reason. The last few negative reviews of this story were obviously written to bash this story and me, who had done nothing wrong to them. That's why I don't pay attention to em negative reviews because my loyal readers/reviewers will come to my rescue anytime. AND I LOVE THEM FOR THAT. I don't encourage people to be mean, but there is a certain reason why they get upset.

2.2 Of course, I would like to thank you for reading my story. I always feel honored when there's another author who reads my story. I will understand and take your 'constructive' review seriously if it will make the story better. BUT to summarize your long note you clearly suggested for me to RE-WRITE THE WHOLE STORY and even THE TITLE of the story. And you said that 'it is too late to start giving the attributes that you wanted to read because the story is too far advanced'. Which one do you think its 'too late' to do? RE-WRITE THE STORY? or LET ME FINISH MY UNFINISHED STORY?

2.3 Are you reading the same story as the other readers/reviewers are? Do you know when did Ana meet Gavin in the story? Just how long they're relationship are? Do they have sex every damn day? And you said that maybe I've never been close to a single mom? DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME? Well to answer your question YES I've been surrounded by single mothers during my 4 years in college. They were still teenagers back then like me and was left by their douche bag boyfriends. So I DO exactly know the battles they went through to feed their children and finish their studies at the same time.

2.4 Yes I got offended by your 'constructive' review, who wouldn't? What if I wrote something like that to one of your stories? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?

THANK YOU FOR READING the long ass A/N. I will not stop writing because of those reviews so don't worry guys. AND THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR THE MASSIVE SUPPORT. Those who sent me PMs, messages thank you! MEANS SO MUCH TO ME!

This chapter, I struggled describing the dresses so go to my Pinterest to see their dresses.

And guys, let's not mention any authors name here and accuse them without any proof, k? I LOVE YOU, but I don't want other authors to think that I am encouraging you to accuse them... And I forgot to say that I love when the guest reviewers said "OUR STORY" yes, it's our story, I'm sharing it to you and this is all of for you :)

The responses from the last chapter were ALL AMAZING! The squirting really did it eh? LOL So expect more in the later chapters.

And I give credits to **loves4paws** for Ana's lines "You were my first. You were my all, my life. I love you and always will but I am no longer _in love_ with you... etc" Thank you! Just revised it a bit. :)

and last, WELCOME TO THE NEW READERS (guests/new followers)! Thank you! and I DO POST SNIPPETS ON FB! Please do check my profile for chapter updates, alright?


	28. Chapter 28

******_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy. Just this story. And NOT a professional writer. Just sharing my first ff._**

******A/N_: _**Mistakes are all mine.

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"Ethan."

He pulled me back, shielding me from Richards who was now frowning at the both of us. Ethan stood taller than the other man and with his muscular built, he could knock the dark haired man in a heartbeat if there would be any fist fight, of course.

"Who are you?" Richards spits the word like he didn't care if he was making a scene.

"Listen. I suggest that you should fuck off now and never touch Ana again or I wouldn't think twice in throwing you out in the mud." Ethan said in a serious tone. Wow, I have never seen him like this before. He was like the Elliot type of a guy. Always funny and laid back but never been the type who would start a brawl in any given situation.

"Who the fuck do you think you are-?"

"Ana? Ethan? What's going on here?" Grace interrupted with brows furrowed. Just on time.

Richards looked at Ethan, eyes shooting daggers at him but managed to compose himself as Grace reached us. Ethan moved back to my side but keeping his eyes on Richards. Now I know why I was nervous the whole time. My presence was making a big scene and the event hasn't even started yet._ Really, Steele._

"Mr. Richards," The black-haired man cleared his throat when Grace looked at him suspiciously.

"Dr. Trevelyan-Grey." he said showing off, again, his perfect set of white teeth. Actually, it was giving me the creeps of the way he smiled. "Great event you have here. I'm very honored to get the privileged in getting an invitation for your charity work."

Ethan and I both stayed quiet but the tension between the two men was still palpable for Grace to miss it.

"Thank you also for being here tonight, Mr. Richards. I suppose you have already met Anastasia Steele and Ethan Kavanagh?" Oh I knew that tone. It was like Grace saying 'Are we having problems here that I need to kick you out?'. I just love her too much.

Richards looked uncomfortable and tried to adjust his tie. When his eyes met mine it was cold as an ice, he didn't even look at Ethan then back to Grace and just like that, he turned to his charming self. _What is wrong with him?_

_You really are a magnet for troubles, Steele. You deserve an award at least._

"Well, yes. I was just saying hi. Since her _ex_-husband and I had work together on some business deals in the past, isn't that right, _Anastasia_?" He said, emphasizing the word ex and my name which I didn't like one bit.

"Yes. But I think that was a long time ago and I didn't even meet you back then. Now, if you'll excuse me," I turned to Grace and gave her an apologetic smile. She just nodded as Ethan grasped my elbow and escorted me back to our table.

"Are you alright?" He whispered to my ear.

"Yes. Thank you, Ethan. I don't know what's wrong with that man. I should have kicked his balls the first time he touched me."

He chuckled. "I have no doubt you could do that and that would amuse me more watching you kick that arrogant bastard's ass." I could see Kate and the others now watching us closely as we approach the group. "I didn't think you needed my help at all but I wanted to play the hero and look cool just once." He winked at me and gave me a bear hug.

I giggled. "It's nice to see you again, E."

The last time I saw Ethan was 6 months ago before I moved to Portland. After Teddy and I moved out from our home with Christian, I didn't know where to go. I planned on staying at a hotel for the mean time before I look for some apartment that me and my son could live temporarily before I figure out what was my next step after the divorce. We found ourselves in front of the Red Lion Hotel near Pike Place Market. It would cost me around $170 a night but I didn't have any choice. We were about to check in when Ethan saw us that night. He saw right through that something happened and offered us to stay with him in the old apartment that Kate and I used to share. Ethan, who had been travelling around the globe again was the current owner of the apartment. He would stay there whenever he was in town. After he and Mia broke up, after 6 months of being together, he decided to travel again after finishing his psychology course. They stayed friends though. Their relationship didn't work out because after a few months of being intimate, they realized that they were better off as family not lovers. Teddy and Ethan had some weird bond so I gladly accepted his offer to help. I was reluctant at first but he said that I shouldn't worry that people might think I ran off with him because he would leaving for Spain the next day and that I was free to stay in the apartment for as long as I want. With all the sadness and betrayal that I experienced for the past month I didn't stop myself from breaking down in front of him. I was so grateful to have someone like Ethan, a brother I never had. I badly needed a shoulder to cry on at that time and he was there. The Kavanaghs were like my guardian angels and I was very proud to say that I was part of their family.

"You are looking smoking hot tonight, Ana. I guess, I can't blame the wolves who would try to catch your attention. If Sgt. Teddy isn't your date tonight, I could have bag you myself." He said grinning seductively at me.

I didn't hold off my laughter and smacked him the arm. "Shut up. You don't look bad yourself." I said giving him a once over then glanced past him to Mia who was chatting with a tall blond guy wearing a mask.

Oh shit. How could I forgot? This was a masquerade ball and I didn't have a mask. _Dumb, Steele!_

Sensing my inner trouble, Ethan handed me a white princess feather venetian mask. "Ah, you are trying to tease me eh? Not going to happen." He said sticking his tongue out. "Kate asked me to hand this to you. She almost forgot too." I didn't notice the masks that he was holding a while ago. He helped me out with mine and then he wore his black and white venetian mask.

We took our seats as the master of ceremonies announced that the dinner would be served in a few minutes. The large marquee was as its usual stunning arrangement with more than 30 tables. Every year, the Coping Together charity event keeps on gaining more guests to join. Grace and Carrick were very proud of how the Gala gathers a huge amount each year to help the Coping Together team.

Mr. and Mrs. Trevelyan gave me a warm 'welcome back' greeting who were also at the table. Grace came back a minute later and took a seat beside me. As I predicted, Teddy already ran off with Ava inside the house to play. Thank god for the securities that Elliot hired for the night to look after my son and niece.

After serving the dinner, the auction went underway. I couldn't help but to notice the Aspen property of Christian still listed on the card of the auction prizes. _Used to be yours too, Steele._

I mentally sighed as the memories of our small family during our Aspen vacations slowly came flooding my mind. It was all good times. I remembered the first time I learned how to ski, after hours of persuading and convincing Christian that I would listen to every instructions just to be safe. And the last time we went there where Teddy took interest in Snowboarding. It made Christian almost bald from trying to distract Teddy with other things we could do together aside from the snowboarding.

Kate shaking me snapped me out from the Aspen memories and just then that I noticed that everyone was looking at my way. Oh my. I blushed a bit, feeling embarrassed and guilty of not paying attention to my surroundings because I was busy reminiscing the past with my ex-husband.

"Steele, it's time for the First Dance Auction!" Kate said excitedly and I just rolled my eyes at her. "Come on, you are joining!"

"Kate, I can't. I-"

She cut me off, giving me that 'You ain't winning this, Steele' look. "Yes, you can. You are single and free."

I looked around trying to seek some help but they just all shrugged not wanting to fight off the ever tenacious Kate Kavanagh-Grey.

"You should go, Ana. It's going to be fun. Mia's with you." Elliot giving me his boyish sweet smile as he pushed me towards Mia.

I could tell that the Greys were all a bit awkward with the situation because they all got used to me being with Christian. And now that he wasn't here, they didn't know how to act with me joining the auction.

"Yes, Ana! This would be like the first time you attended the gala." She said animatedly. Yeah, minus Christian. I remember that time I was still his girlfriend, that's why I was able to experience being bought for a hundred thousand dollars by Mr. Money bags himself just for the first dance. After that, Christian never allowed me to join again. Well, I didn't have to of course. But every year that we attended the gala, I was never allowed to dance or even converse with another man other than his family. What did I expect of the jealous and ever possessive husband back then? Mia, being a single woman was the only one who always get auctioned every year. Kate never got to experience it because she was already married with Elliot even before the next Coping Together, a year after my first time.

Mia dragged me to the stage and I didn't miss the thumbs up given by Ethan and Elliot. Oh boy, what did I put myself into?

"Gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for, the First Dance Auction!" The master of ceremonies started to introduce the first lady to be auctioned. She was a blonde woman in red and was sold by a gentleman in a blue mask for 5 thousand dollars. I couldn't help but feel nervous about who would actually waste their money on me as being their first dance? I kept on looking at Ethan, even if I wasn't sure if he knew I was trying to tell him to buy me off just to be on the safe side. But part of me was kind of not sure if Ethan would bid on me or Mia. _Duh, Steele. Why is he going to bid on his ex for years now?_

"And next up is the lovely lady in white, Anastasia!" Oh shit, that was me. I glanced at Mia who just winked at me as I settled center stage. My face flushed and I felt so little in front of the crowd with the strange looks they were giving me. I knew it was because Christian and I divorced. When the news broke to some close family friends, there were people who were bold enough to express their feeling of disgust to gold diggers. It wasn't directly at me but it was just the same right? I knew this was a bad idea. I shouldn't have let Kate bullied me into this.

"Three thousand dollars." I heard Ethan's voice from the crowd.

"Five thousand." A man who was wearing a gold mask raised his hand. Oh, shit. It's Richards! Seriously?

I glanced back to Ethan hoping he would continue to bid. Anyone actually, but that creep.

"Seven thousand." He countered back.

I thought that Richards was backing down because it took a few seconds before he raised again his hand. Oh fuck. Geez, what was he playing? Didn't I tell him 'no' already? I didn't even want him to touch me again.

"Fifteen." Richards' voice sounded powerful this time. Fuckity, fuckity, fuck. _You're in big trouble, Steele._

I swallowed hard when I looked back at Ethan and saw him and Elliot whispering to each other. Come on you guys! You couldn't leave me to that creep, could you?

"Gentlemen, high rollers in the house tonight!" The MC said excitedly then he glanced to Ethan challenging him to raise the bid. _Why is he not saying anything?!_

"Fifteen thousand dollars for the lovely lady Anastasia!" Oh god. No. Ethan or someone please! "Going once..." Elliot said something to Ethan and I noticed him raising his hand. "Going twice..."

"Fifty thousand dollars." I heard everyone gasped as my head snapped to the corner where the voice came from.

Oh. My. God.

Christian.

_What is he doing here?_

He was wearing a black dinner suit, a bow tie and a black mask. His hair was bit tamed and not the usual 'just fucked hair'. You wouldn't recognize him at first look but I knew him. His voice. His body. The air surrounding him changes whenever he was around. The crowd followed my gaze and I saw in the corner of my eyes a pissed looking Richards shaking his head when the MC looked at him for a counter bid. He knew it was Christian and he would be a fool to go against Fifty if it was money they were going up against. Or me.

"Well, we have another high roller here. Fifty thousand dollars for Anastasia, going once.. going twice... sold!"

You've got to be fucking kidding me! I thought he was still in New York? I didn't know if I should be pissed or not. If Christian didn't come, Richards would've won the bid. That creep would definitely have his hands all over me during the first dance. Hell no. But Christian, I don't know what he was thinking. Should I thank him or not? I have no choice now but to be his first dance. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad?

After we part ways last Thursday evening, I haven't heard from him, even a word. He was silent after all the talking that we had. I knew it was difficult for him and that he might be hurting, but I did too. He wasn't the one who caught his wife being whipped by another man, was he? He looked sad and defeated so even if I wasn't sure if should do it or not, I gave him a hug before I left.

Christian made his way to greet his family as I was escorted down the stage. Grace looked surprised to see him too. She gave him a warm hug and was visibly happy to see her son. Carrick shook Christian's hand but his mask hid any indication if he was pleased or not to see him. Elliot and Kate greeted him quietly but the obvious look on her face said it all. Mr. and Mrs. Trevelyan seemed excited to see their grandson. I might look like an intruder If I was going to join them so I decided to make a detour to the powder room. Also, I didn't know what to do with Christian or how should I react to what he did so that's why I decided to make a quick escape to get my wits straight.

Yes, it was only a dance. First dance. And we've always done that every year of the gala event. But that would mean that we had to be so close, like touching, right? I had never been close to him ever since the last time we slept together. Could I do it? Would he do something that might make me uncomfortable? _Geez, Steele. Chill the fuck out. It's just a dance, so just get over and done with it!_

I took a deep breath to clear my head. Yes, just a dance. That's all. I shouldn't make this a big deal. We've talked already. He knew that we couldn't go back to the way we were. And he saved me from that creep Richards. I guess, I'd rather dance with him than with that black haired man.

After re-applying my lip stick and one last look at my reflection, I exited the powder room to go back to the large marquee. But after a few steps, I felt a hand wrapped around my right wrist and turned me around to face the masked stranger who pinned me against the wall.

"Who the hell-" I tried to pushed him back but stopped when he took off his mask.

"Sshhh, it's me."

"Gavin?"

"Hi." He smiled giving me his most heart stopping look.

_Oh my god, he's here!_ My eyes traveled from his dirty blonde hair, which was now a bit shorter than the last time I saw him to his slight stubbled cheeks down to his body. Oh my. He was wearing a tux! I had to pick up my jaw on the floor because he looked dangerously dapper in his well-fitted and sharp-looking black dinner jacket and bow tie. His tux was exquisitely cut and a perfect match for his suave manners. Damn, I thought that Mr. Boxers in uniform and v-neck shirts were the sexiest sights, boy I was wrong. It made him look very handsome, and when he smiled, it was a little bit magical.

_Steele, wipe that drool off your face, now!_

"You startled me, geez." I looked at him through my lashes and cupped his left cheek. "You're here."

"You wanted me here, so..." He shrugged and leaned into my touch.

I took off my own mask before speaking. "But how did you get here and when? We were on the phone just hours ago. You said you were watching a basketball game on TV."

"Well, That's true. I arrived in Seattle at one in the afternoon and checked in the hotel near Kate and Elliot's house." What? "I was planning to surprise you." He snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me close. "You looked disappointed when I refused to go with you so I called Elliot and told him about my plan." He looked down a bit and I wasn't sure if he was shy or embarrassed that he was late.

"Then why are you so late? What a nice surprise huh?" I took a step back trying to act pissed and unhappy but deep inside I was jumping up and down because my Mr. Boxers showed up despite his dislike in attending such events. 10,000 points for Mr. Boxers!

"Well, uhm, there was a small accident on my way here and I tried to help but damn I didn't think it would take that long. Sorry... I was trying to call you but I guess you were pretty busy out here. And then my phone died, forgot to re-charge the damn battery." He looked down and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

He helped someone? It must be the cop in him who couldn't just drive and leave the accident area.

"Hey." My voice now softer that made him look up. "You helped out?" I asked and he just nodded. "Come here."

He slowly took a step towards me as I reached for his right hand and laced our fingers together. "Thank you," I gently kissed his cheek, "for coming." And smiled sweetly at my man. I would never be mad at him for being a helpful cop even when he wasn't on duty and a different state.

"You are not mad?" I shook my head and this time kissed him on the lips. "Thank god. I really suck at surprises."

He brought our foreheads together and closed his eyes for a bit. "No, you did surprise me." I said inhaling his spicy scent.

Then his light blue eyes took me in, scanning me from head to foot. "You look breathtaking, my lady." He spun me around, making me giggle. "I felt my heart skipped a beat when I first saw you in that dress. Even from afar, your beauty shines like no other. It was only you that I could see." He said placing my hand over his chest. "Do you feel that?" Oh my. "My heart is beating wildly for you."

Holy fuck. He left me speechless. I didn't expect that and if not for his hold on me, I would be on the floor now with my knees buckling and my body melting for him.

"I was too late to bid on you. Fuck. I didn't know there was that kind of auction." Oh shit. I almost forgot. The first dance would be starting soon and Christian... He would be my first dance. But what about Gavin? Crap. What should I do now?

"Hey, listen. I didn't know that he would come tonight. He- Christian-"

"I know, I saw him. I was about to bid but that guy on the stage closed it so fast. Damn it." He said pulling me close to him. "But that's why I followed you here. I'm kidnapping you." He said grinning mischievously.

What? Kidnap me?

"I don't like this auction thing. I don't want to buy you. You're priceless. Grey can use his money all he wants, but I'm going to be your first dance, no matter what." He said confidently giving me his panty-combusting smile.

* * *

A/N: Labor day. No holiday for me though :( Anyway, HOLY FRIGGING MOLLY. 2000+ REVIEWS! YAY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! Wow. I mean. How? Why? When? What? LOL I Effing love you guys. So much. Thank you for your undying support for Strong Steele. I couldn't have made this far without you all.

Also, I would like to thank these guest reviewers Leah, muai, J, A, Poppy(love your name), Lola, Stacey, Gemma, Gina, melissa, Laura, Polly, Jill, Demi, evie, zen, IZZY x, Tik (LOL your review cracked me up), Penny, Mandy, Sophie, Abi, Mae Jenivie, FSOG103, Sandra, Jill, Elaine, KatieRose, Alesha, Debbie, Charlotte, violet, shaza, Me, LoveReadingGirl, Daisy and all other **GUESTS** that didn't include a name. You guys ROCK. I love you all!

And I apologize for not replying to you guys the previous chapters. Will do my best to thank everyone in anyway I can. ;)

That's all. Don't forget, I post SNIPPETS on FB and check the chapter updates on my profile! x

Reviews are always appreciated. xx


	29. Chapter 29

******_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy. Just this story. And NOT a professional writer. Just sharing my first ff._**

******A/N_:_**Hello! I know.. Nine days. Damn it. Forgive my lazy ass. Maybe hire a dom to spank me? LOL kidding. But seriously, I was just recharging my '**demonizing** powers' Ha-Ha-ha! God, that review made me laugh so hard.

Thank you for all the reviews last chapter. Eva (LittlePinkLady69), wrote the longest review ever and she nailed it. If you have questions about the timeline of the story, go read it. Her review just sums up everything.

I'm just glad that I have such wonderful readers/supporters. And smart ones too. And I love you all for that!

I would like to welcome the new followers, favorites and Guest readers! HELLO GUYS!

And one quick shout out to Anisurnois author of The Master's Muse. If you haven't read it, then go check it! Best story ever.

Reviews are always appreciated. THANK YOU SO MUCH ALL FOR READING AND SUPPORTING SS!

Sorry for the errors. xx

* * *

If he got me speechless after placing my hand to his wildly beating heart, now I didn't know how to describe the state that I was in after hearing those words he'd just said about being my first dance-no-matter-what.

_You're priceless._

Oh my. I have never heard those words being said to me. Not even Christian, if I remember correctly. Looking into his soulful eyes, I knew he was serious about it, even if he said it in a playful tone, his intense light blue orbs was saying otherwise.

"Gavin, I _want_ to be your first dance too but I'm afraid we can't just leave here without telling them."

"Why not? Seems like a great plan for me." he said in a seductive voice as he pulled my body closer to his.

"Hmm. Kidnapping a lady in the middle of a masquerade ball... Are you turning into a rogue cop now, Officer Boyle?" I said tapping the tip of his nose while he played with my curls.

"Who wouldn't want to? You look stunning in this dress. Though I'd prefer you naked and open for me, I would like to see more of this sight of you so beautiful and sexy as hell but yet you still carry that innocent aura and it's driving me crazy." His eyes turned soft then darker as he gazed from my lips, to my nose then back to my eyes. "I'm afraid you are close in giving me a permanent hard on, my lady." He added whispering it to my ear.

I raised an eyebrow at him and made a bold move by cupping his erection.

Holy fuck.

He was definitely hard. _Good gracious, Steele. Give the man some relief!_

He gave me a naughty smile that just made him too cute and sexy at the same time. _Geez_. "So, you found and felt the evidence," he pushed himself into my touch, "can I execute my perfect plan now and take you away with me? I will take you to the world of my sweet fantasies. And I'm sure you won't ever want to leave." His smile widened and winked at me.

I giggled and gave his erection a light squeeze. His eyes turned a shade darker and was now replaced by pure wanton desire. "Behave yourself knight or you won't get to see those fantasies come true. _Ever._"

He pursed his lips, not liking where his 'kidnap Ana' plan was going. "But I don't want to give up that first dance, Ana. If I knew there was that kind of Auction, I would have driven here faster and earlier." He said looking away.

"Hey." I cupped his stubbly cheek, getting his eyes back to mine. "If we took off, Christian will go thermonuclear. I'm sure he will panic that someone might have taken me for real. I swear, he could go over the top. Kate and the Greys will get worried too."

He just stared at me for a bit then sighed heavily. "Alright, I understand."

Ever since the night that I have finally realized this strong feeling that I have for him, I couldn't seem to take it when he looked so sad and defeated just like now. I thought that the first dance wasn't that important but with the determined look in his eyes said otherwise. He didn't want to lose to Christian. I was actually impressed with his plan, because instead of 'buying' me, that he didn't want to, he'd rather take me away from here. Geez, such a caveman. I got used with Christian lavishing me with all he got. Though it never felt that he was actually 'buying' me with all the money he had, it just felt so nice that Gavin was different. _Very_ different.

After I learned from Melissa that Gavin wasn't just cop with the usual 'cop bank account', he'd never flaunted his money to me. Yes, he was always the one to pay whenever we eat outside but it was only cheap ones and he'd never brought me to any high-class restaurants because he'd rather cook for me and Ted. Aside from the hospital bill from last week, he never tried to pay for anything that I could pay for myself.

He pulled out from our embrace to composed himself and tried to fix his bow tie. I could tell that he was avoiding my eyes because he was hiding his disappointment. I didn't know if I should laugh or not because he looked like a 5 year-old boy who didn't get his Christmas wish from his parents.

"Here let me." I tapped his hand away and surprised him when I snaked my arms around his neck and pulled myself closer to him. "I didn't say you can't have the first dance, Officer." He frowned at me. "We still have few more minutes, come I'll show you something." I tugged his hand quickly before he could ask where.

"Ana! Where have you been? The first dance is about to start-" Kate stopped when she noticed that I wasn't alone.

"Good evening, Kate. I must say you look so lovely tonight." Gavin said, giving her his panty-melting smile.

I could tell Kate was caught off guard because it took her few seconds to recognize the sexy man behind me. "Gavin? You made it! Wow, looking hot in a tux, Officer. Elliot did a good job." She smiled at her husband first then turned to me and whispered, "you're a lucky bitch, Steele. He looks so yummy! A quickie?"

My eyes widened at that and thank god the guys didn't hear it. "Kate!" I scolded her and the witch just gave me a naughty smile that said 'I know you, Steele'.

"That I did, babe. It wasn't that easy to make a cop wear a tux you know." Elliot shook Gavin's hand and winked at me that made me blush a little.

"I would never get used to this, it's just so..." He didn't finish after I gave him a stern look because there was his hand again fixing his bow tie.

Gavin was the only man I've met with a huge dislike in wearing formal clothes. _Well, he's a cop Steele. What do you expect?_ But seeing him here at the Gala, in a tux if I may add, just made my heart swell with happiness. Despite of his refusal before, he was here. For me. I could tell that he was really uncomfortable with his bow tie because he couldn't keep his hand from fixing it every minute.

"Don't worry, Gavin my man. Ana has this secret fetish with a man in a bow tie, _only._" Elliot whispered to him the last word but it was loud enough for me and Kate to hear it.

My face turned red as I gaped in shocked with what Elliot said. Gavin laughed while Kate smacked her husband's arm scolding him and telling to behave himself. Elliot mouthed 'sorry' to me and I just shook my head at him with a small smile on my lips. Geez, I could have smacked him myself if he'd said that out loud.

Then I just remembered Grace and the others. I glanced around and saw Mia with the blond guy that she was talking with just before the dinner. Looked like he won the bid for her. I wonder if they were an item and where was Ethan? Grace and Carrick were already positioned out front to lead the first dance and I also saw Mr. and Mrs Trevelyan just behind them. And as I was just about to turn around, I suddenly felt this familiar feeling of being watched.

Christian.

There he was, sans the black mask, approaching us slowly. I noticed all women automatically turned their heads as Christian walked gracefully towards me. _Breathe, Steele. Everyone is watching, including Gavin. So just play it cool._

"Anastasia." He offered me his hand. I turned to look at Gavin who was now on the side to make way for the couples for the first dance. His eyes were focused on Christian and I but when his eyes met mine, he gave me a small smile and nodded.

I looked back to Christian then to his hand. Just one song. I told myself. This couldn't be that bad. The only concern I have right now was Gavin. I knew this wasn't easy for him.

I took a deep breath before taking Christian's hand. It was the same warm hand that used to hold me before. That warm hand that used to make me feel safe and protected. That warm hand that made me feel all the sensual things in the past. But after that painful sight in his office, all I could think about this hand now was how he used that whip to beat his sub. I closed my eyes as we took our position for the dance.

_Stop it Steele. Just try to concentrate on how to get through this._

"Ladies and gentlemen of the First Dance Auction, are you ready?" I heard the MC said through the mic. "Then we shall begin."

I opened my eyes as the band started playing 'The Way You Look Tonight'. Christian's piercing grey eyes were just focused on me. His hands were secured on my waist while I kept my hands in between us. He didn't seem to mind because he was just silent but not taking his eyes off me. The distance between our body wasn't that close enough like the usual when we dance together.

I looked down to his lips, disconnecting our gazes. I was feeling more uncomfortable with him being silent like this. I didn't even know what to say. He was acting not his usual self. He didn't even glare at Gavin, or did he even look at him? I didn't notice it but still, he was too silent for my liking. Was this a good sign or what?

"Christian." I started, breaking the silence. "I would like to thank you for... uhm... bidding on me the last minute. I certainly didn't want that Anthony Richards to win the first dance."

"I didn't get the first dance too." Finally, I heard him say. Wait a minute, what?

I looked up at him and frowned. "What do you mean? You're-"

"I saw you dancing... with him."

Oh.

"I came to get you because it was almost time for the first dance. Then I found you on the patio, in his arms dancing without music." He said with a blank expression.

He saw us. Why didn't we notice him?

When I took Gavin around to find a place where we could have our own first dance, we ended up on the patio, on the side of the house. I remembered Kate telling me about this area being prepared for some guest who would propose to his girlfriend tonight. The patio was filled with colorful candle lights. The marquee was at the far side of the huge property of the Greys so it was just the two of us. Gavin suddenly grabbed me by the waist. My arms automatically made their way around his neck as I looked him in his light blue eyes. I waited for him to start the slow dance but after a minute he was still standing straight like he was waiting for me to do something. When I asked why he wasn't moving, he blurted out that he didn't know how to dance. Even though part of me found it a bit funny because I actually thought he could dance because he was so determined to do it just a while ago, I couldn't because _bigger_ part of me found it still sweet that he was trying. Yes of course, he was a cop. He didn't like events or any formal gathering. He was the typical guy who does manly things. And surely dancing was not included on the list.

He wasn't Christian.

I pulled him for a brief kiss and took the lead. Good thing he was a fast learner because it didn't take long and we were both swaying to a quiet dance. It was like my body was in tuned with his and so did his with mine. He surprised me when he started singing 'Grow Old With You'. I felt my eyes watered hearing him sing for me. He voiced out, not just once or twice but a hundred times, his dislike of singing. He said that he had an awful voice and swore he would never be convinced to sing in front of anyone. Even though he didn't have a voice of a singer, _like Christian_ and it wasn't even that awful, it was perfect for me. He was perfect for me. After he finished the song, he tried to apologize but even before he could say a word, I sealed his lips with mine.

It was fast but a sweet dance. And I never thought that would see us it was a very quiet area with no one around.

"Christian, I... I-"

"Ana."

For the first time tonight, Christian looked me straight in the eyes with that same exact expression from the last time we danced together. It was during our vacation in Hawaii, after I decided to give him another chance to fix our marriage, we went away for a week to spend some quality time together with our son. He surprised me with a very romantic candlelit dinner that he prepared himself. That last dance we had was sensually slow and we ended up making love even before we could eat.

"You look so beautiful tonight." I felt his hands tightened around my waist. "Breathtaking as ever. You'll always be the most beautiful woman in my eyes, Anastasia."

I just looked away and kept silent because I didn't know what to say. It seemed like he didn't want to talk about what he saw..

_'Cause I love you ... just the way you look tonight._

"I'm flying to India on Monday night." Christian muttered a moment later. "This new merger with an Indian company will take weeks or maybe months and I will personally work on it." Oh, so he was going away? "Ross was supposed to deal with this but since I knew it would take longer than the usual deals, I decided to go instead of her."

"I hope everything will go well the merger then." I said quietly.

"I hope so too. That's why I went here tonight. If it's alright with you, I would like to spend time with Ted before I go."

"Of course, you can. He's here with me." I said sincerely. If he was going to stay long in India, he would surely miss Ted. And who I was to refuse a father who would like to spend time with his son, right?

He nodded. "Are you staying at Kate and Elliot's?" He asked but I was sure he already knew. "Sawyer will pick him up tomorrow at 7."

"Yes, we're staying at Kate's. Alright then, I will ready his backpack just in case."

"Thank you." He said softly and we fell silent again after that until the end of the song.

_Lovely ... never, ever change._

_Keep that breathless charm._

_Won't you please arrange it'_

_'cause I love you ... just the way you look tonight._

Being this close to Christian again made me remember how warm and good it felt to be in his arms. How his body could make me go crazy with desire for him. How his sexy scent could make me drool over him. How his hands could make me shiver with want and anticipation of what he could do once we were left alone in our own sanctuary. But I couldn't separate those good memories with the tainted vision of him with another woman. It was like an automatic scene that would fill my mind and would cover up my sensual feelings for him. My love for him.

But as surprising as it seemed, he was behaving tonight. I didn't think he could be this civil in front of Gavin. Maybe because his family was just around? Or that all eyes were on us tonight?

I felt his hands loosened from its grip to my waist. But when I was about to pull away from our close position, he pulled me back to his body and whispered to my ear, "You own my heart and soul. There will be no one else. I love you and always will." Then with one last look in my eyes, he turned around and walked away.

"Ana."

I was still staring at Christian's retreating back when I felt Gavin's arms around me.

"Hey." He said again as he tilted my chin up.

"Are you alright?" His eyes roamed around my face like he was searching for something. _You're an open book, Steele. Your face says it all._

I nodded and swallowed twice. I didn't know why but I suddenly felt cold after Christian walked away. His voice was different when he said he will always love me. It was like a voice of acceptance. I wasn't sure but if felt like he just said goodbye.

I just hope that that trip to India would help him think about what really happened between us. That we were both hurt of that mistake that he did. That no matter how many 'sorrys' and 'I love yous', those words would never be enough to forgive and forget the past. The first time, I accepted it and was willing to start a new with him. But the second time? That's a different story.

_Well, at least he is showing that he can change right, Steele?_

"Do you still want to dance or do you want a drink and sit down for a bit?" Gavin asked with concern written all over his face.

"No, let's drink later. Dance first. We have music now." I said and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Yeah, much better than my awful voice." He muttered more to himself.

"Hey, I love it. I love your voice. It was the sweetest thing you have ever done."

"Really?" He whispered, not quite believing what I've just said. Oh Gavin.

"Yes. You told me you hate singing but you sang for me. Thank you." I said, as I rested my head at the crook of his neck.

I felt him relaxed and tightened his hold on me. "You know I'll do anything for you."

We stayed for two more songs and then decided to get something to drink. Gavin didn't ask what Christian and I talked about. It was one of the things I love about him, he didn't pry. He never demanded me to share everything to him.

I saw Richards eyeing us from the side. I quickly told Gavin about what happened before he got here. His demeanor change into protective cop mode. When Richards tried to approach me, Gavin stepped in front of me and warned Richards that he wouldn't think twice of breaking his neck if he came close near ten feet from me. The black haired man's scared expression was too funny to describe. He quickly disappeared and I gave Gavin a thank you kiss for his amazing scare tactics.

Gavin met Carrick when we stopped by the table of the Greys. Carrick welcomed him politely and shook his hand. Grace seemed surprise to see him since I told her he wasn't coming but after he and Elliot explained their plan to surprise me, she smiled and told him to have a great time for the rest of the night. Mr. and Mrs. Trevelyan left already after the first dance. Gavin looked really uncomfortable around the Greys but thank god for Elliot, I knew Gavin wouldn't stick around if he wasn't here or if they didn't get along. Then Ethan came out of nowhere and introduced himself to Gavin. He looked deadly serious when he told Gavin that he would kill if he ever get to see me hurt and crying again because of a man. Gavin shook his hand and agreed about killing someone if they ever saw me hurt. Ethan seemed to be amused and impressed by Gavin's bravery because after a few drinks they were all laughing like old friends.

Mia was the last one to meet Gavin. She literally stared at him for whole 2 minutes. The first question that came out from her was 'Are you James Bond slash Greek God?'. We all laughed at that and I couldn't believe again that like Kate, Mia was openly ogling Gavin. She totally forgot about the blond guy she was just dancing with before she met my Mr. Boxers. She immediately invited us to her new restaurant opening next month.

Geez, what's with Gavin and the ladies?

"Ana, did you see Christian? Or did he tell you where he is going after the first dance? I was trying to find him but he seemed to just disappear." Graced asked after pulling me to the side.

"I'm afraid he didn't. We just had a small talk about him and Teddy's father and son day tomorrow before he leaves for India. And after that he just went somewhere."

"He's leaving for India? When?" She frowned.

"He said his flight will be on Monday night."

"I see. Thank you, dear. Maybe he left already. That boy, I will just try call him."

Kate and I decided to check on Teddy and Ava inside the house. We found the kids asleep on the sofa in the living room. They looked so cute because even if they were tangled up and the uncomfortable position they were in, they didn't seem to mind and both looked so peaceful that not even a bomb explosion could wake them up.

When we got back to the marquee, I saw Gavin talking to a blonde woman wearing a red glossy gown. Though I couldn't see her face that much, it was clear that she knew him because she was touching his arm. Gavin, on the other hand, was clearly avoiding her touches and was looking very uncomfortable. _Who is that woman?_

"Steele, who is that?" Kate asked inquisitively.

"I have no idea." I answered back still watching as Gavin nodded goodbye to the woman. To my surprise, she waved at my direction and smiled before she walked away. _What the hell? Does she know me?_

"Gavin," I called out as soon as he reached us.

"Ana." He laced our fingers together and pulled me closer to him.

I kept a straight face because I had a bad feeling about that woman in red, bad news was radiating from her long blonde hair._ Keep an open mind, Steele. Ask him first._

"Who are you talking with? The woman in red."

"That's Jane. An old friend. She's here with her husband Rick."Oh, a married woman. I sighed mentally in relief.

"I see." But there was still something off about her and Gavin's anxious face confirmed that there was something else.

He seemed to notice that I wanted more info about her. "I'll tell you more later." He said giving me a kiss in the forehead.

After the fireworks, we decided to call it a night and go back to Kate and Elliot's place. Since Teddy and Ava were already asleep we just made quick goodbye to the Greys. Kate and Elliot would be staying overnight in Bellevue with Ava. I raised an eyebrow at Kate because it was so obvious that they just decided to stay and left the house to ourselves the whole night. Elliot reasoned that they do always stay after the gala every year. Yes, he was right though. Christian and I did the same too when we were still together. But the glint in his eyes gave his intention away.

"Hey, let's head first to the hotel to get my things and check out. Then we'll go back to Kate and Elliot's." He said absentmindedly. It was clear that there was something bothering him.

"Okay." I answered quietly. Teddy was still peacefully sleeping in the back seat and if I start a conversation it might wake him up but I couldn't hold my curiosity any longer so I asked again, "so, who's the woman in red?"

"Jane is an ex-girlfriend." He made a quick glance at me and added, "She turned down my marriage proposal five years ago."


	30. Chapter 30

******_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy. Just this story. And NOT a professional writer. Just sharing my first ff._**

**A/N:** **THANK YOU FOR ALL THE RESPONSES** from the last chapter. I appreciate and respect all of em. I'm glad you are taking time to review and put your heart out and opinion about the story. But please try to calm our farm and keep it cool and just respect each other's opinion too. Ayt? :)

And, just one quick message, actually a long one, to **everyone (AUTHORS/READERS)** out here on FF. This is a place where **people/fans could use their creative minds to write stories** using their fave characters or about their fave movies,books,tv shows etc. So, everyone has the right to do/write their story as they please. That's what** Fanfiction is all about**. Not just about one character or two, or always HEA, cheating, rape, fantasy, paranormal, mystery etc.** BUT anything a fan/author could come up with using his/her imagination.** I think that what lacks this FSOG fanfiction community. It bothers me to see other stories being bashed by the others, especially by authors. The bullying is just too much. YES we don't like some stories, and WE do have a choice of what to read right? It's not like authors beg for us read their stories RIGHT? No. It's all up to us to whether read it or not. So save ourselves from the heartbreak and stop whining and bitching about stories we don't like. Just respect each one of us because at the end of the day, we're all just** fans** of this one amazing fanfic turned bestselling book. WORLD PEACE. x

Sorry for another long ass a/n. I just thought I needed to let that out. I know some of you **never** read it anyway that's why you** missed** that one where I** already mentioned** about not **KILLING OFF** anyone in this story.

Reviews are highly appreciated. THANK YOU EVERYONE! xx

**MASSIVE SORRY FOR THE ERRORS. x**

* * *

**GAVIN**

_"I'm sorry. I can't accept this, Gavin. I can't marry you."_

_"You can't or you won't?" I said a bit harshly, fighting back the tears that was threatening to flow in my eyes._

_I was still on my knees in the middle of the empty living room of the house that was supposedly the home for my future family. It's not that big, a 2 story single family home with 3 bedrooms and 3 baths. It was too big for my liking and I would prefer a simpler one than this. Jane would always mention this property ever since she saw that this was on sale. She had this dreamy look on her face whenever she talked about owning such a modern home which wasn't too small or too big. I started saving everything to buy this property for her. I needed to work for the half of it because I didn't want to rely on the money that my parents saved for me. After a year, I managed to contact the estate agent and told me that I could purchase the house anytime. I came up with a brilliant plan to surprise her tonight and at the same time propose to her. I have been thinking of asking her to move in with me but I knew she didn't like my apartment. Moving together was a huge step in our relationship and with the recent arguments that we were having, I just thought that marriage proposal would somehow help Jane to realize that I was a hundred and ten percent serious about her, about us._

_"Gavin, I already told you... I want a stable life, a future." She said looking away._

_"This," I said, gesturing the house and the lifted the velvet box in my hand, "and this, I am going to buy this to start our life together. This is what you wanted right? I don't understand..." My voice cracked. Shit, no. I have to keep it together._

_"Yes, but that was a year ago. And how about your job? You could do so much better than this if you're going to stop saving the world by being a heroic cop and think about being practical!"_

_"Please, Jane. We can make it work. If you want to buy a bigger house, we can both save for it and in a year's time-" She cut me off and shook her head._

_"See? Why are we going to save something for a year that you can just get in the real estate business in a month? No. I'm sorry, but no." I could feel my body starting to shake because of her rejection. But I wouldn't give up. Not yet._

_"Jane. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I would do anything to give you the life you deserve. Please." I said in a low voice, begging and grasped her hand in desperation. When she didn't pull back, my heart rose with hope._

_"I love you, Gavin." She lightly squeezed my hand and looked straight into my eyes. "Quit your job."_

_I closed my eyes and felt a single tear fell from my eye. Why was this happening? Why couldn't I just say those words that would make her happy? That would make her accept the life with me. All I ever wanted was to be with the one I love and do the thing I love the most. Why couldn't I have both? Did I make a mistake thinking Jane was the right one? Was I being selfish by not giving up my dream job?_

_'I will quit.' The words were on the tip of my tongue but I couldn't say them. My heart knew that it wasn't right. Yes, I would give up anything for the woman that I love with all my being but Jane wasn't the same person. She wasn't that plain and chatty barista that I met few years ago. She loved me and my job. She wouldn't make me stop doing what I loved to do._

_I swallowed twice and bowed my head. I couldn't say it. I wouldn't say it. Jane let my hand go after a minute of silence. I heard her took a deep breath and took a step back._

_"Well then, I think this is over." My head snapped back to her as she reached for her purse. "I wish you all the best, Gavin. Good bye." And with that, she left and never looked back._

_I didn't know how long I stayed on the floor, kneeling. My body was shaking and I couldn't stop it. I couldn't believe how painful it was. To be left alone in the place where I thought my dreams would come true. If I thought that breaking up with my first love after I caught her stealing money from my parent's house was the worst feeling ever, I was damn wrong. So fucking wrong._

_How could I ever recover from this?_

_Would I ever find that person who would accept all of me? Who would love me for who I was?_

**ANA**

"What? Just after two months, she got engaged to her new boss?" What the hell? Or should I say, what a bitch?

After Gavin told me his failed marriage proposal to that Jane, all I wanted to do now was to go back to Bellevue and slap that blonde bitch's face from breaking his heart at that time. Though his face showed no sign of any love or anything for that blonde while he was recalling that night Jane ended their two years and a half relationship, it was clear that it broke him. I actually thought that maybe he was still into her based on his expression when I asked who she was. But I was wrong.

He opened another bottle of beer and took a swig. "I accidentally bumped into her one afternoon while I was patrolling. After she broke up with me, she ignored all my calls and attempt to see her. So I took a chance to invite her to dinner."

"Did she?"

He shook his head. "No. Her boss answered for her and shoved the huge diamond ring on her finger to my face."

"That was mean." I took his beer and drank a little. "What did you do?"

"Do you want one? I'll get you-"

"No, it's fine. I want to share yours." I pulled him back to the couch when he tried to stand up.

He shook his head with a smile and gave me a soft kiss. "Alright then. What did I do? I'm a cop you know, though I was still madly in love with her at the time, I still have some little pride left for myself. I congratulated them and wished them happiness. I was a mess after that. I drank myself to sleep. I isolated myself from everyone, aside from Georgia who did kick my ass after seeing my growing beard." He chuckled. "She told me that I looked like a caveman and demanded that I should get my shit back together or she would never come and visit me again. That was like my wake up call because I didn't want her upset with me. A few months later, I learned that Jane and her boss broke the engagement."

"Did she try to come back to you?" I sensed that blonde Jane was that type of woman who couldn't live without any man by her side. Money was a big added bonus, of course.

"How did you know?" He asked quizzically.

"Wild guess." I shrugged with a sly smile.

He grinned at me and pulled me closer. "You look cute like that." _Oh god, he looks so hot._

I stuck my tongue out and he just chuckled.

"Anyway, yes she did try to call me a few times. I got tempted to call her back after hearing one of the voice mails she left. She said that she was broke and needed help. Yeah call me a fool, I gave in after a few days and drove to her apartment. I even bought some flowers." He paused and took a long swig of his beer. His expression changed for the first time since we got back from the gala. He looked like he didn't want to recall this certain scene that he was about to tell.

I grabbed his hand and laced our fingers. I couldn't believe that someone would hurt a sweet and thoughtful man like Gavin. No wonder Melissa had this too much hate with his ex-girlfriends._ Now you know, Steele._

"When I got to her apartment, the door was open so I just made my way inside. I saw her making out with a man in a suit and Jane was only in her underwear. It looked like they had a long and passionate night." Holy fuck. She's definitely a bitch, Steele.

I pulled my man down and kissed him with all I got. Even though all I wanted to do right now, again, was to double slap that blonde Jane's face for hurting him like that. I was so glad he didn't end up with her.

"You deserve so much better than her." I said in a soft whisper.

He crashed his lips into mine, this time he took control. He lifted me to his lap and I automatically straddled his hips. Thank god Teddy was already sound asleep upstairs and we had the whole house to ourselves. It would be so embarrassing if Kate or Elliot would walk in on us in a very compromising position.

"I'm afraid that I would make the same mistake with us." He said, breathing in pants after that long and wild kiss. What mistake was he talking about? "Seeing her tonight made me remember my past mistakes. Jane was okay with me being a cop at the start of our relation But after awhile, we had huge arguments about me being on call all the time. It got worse after she met my parents. She started demanding that I should just quit being a hero and find a safer job."

"Hey." I cupped his face with both hands. "It wasn't your fault that she didn't accept what you love to do. I can't say that you being on call all the time is fine but that's your job. And I support you. Whatever makes you happy and satisfied, it makes me happy too. Alright?"

"You make me happy." He kissed me again this time slow and passionate. His tongue explored every corner of my mouth and took his time nibbling my lower lip.

"And don't think that I didn't notice that those 16 hours a day on duty are for your weekends off, right?" I almost laughed with his surprised expression. It was so obvious that he worked double on some weekdays so he could get at least the weekends off. Though there were times that we get interrupted by emergency calls. I loved how he was so passionate about serving the public. And I didn't think I could make him quit just because of the nature of his duty as a police officer. I would never do that to him.

And it was pretty clear that blonde Jane changed after finding out he had money. For fuck sake, he was going to buy her dream house that he didn't even like. But then again, she wanted more. _Okay, Steele. We're giving her the badge of a certified Gold Digger._

"Well, like I told you, I just don't want to make the same mistake. As much as I love the job, I love being with you and Ted." He tightened his hold on me. "I'm willing to do anything to make this work."

I melted after hearing those sweet words from him. This thing with Gavin had been going smooth for the both of us ever since the first night we made love. I thought he was a perfect lover. But I was clearly wrong. He was trying hard to make things right for us. He didn't want this relationship to suffer with the consequences of his job. He didn't care if he was the only one making the adjustments. He was doing it all.

"Are you mad at me for not telling you about this before?" He asked when I didn't say anything.

Why would he think I was mad at him? It wasn't like he did get engaged with that blonde bitch, right?

I shook my head and kissed his stubbly cheek. "No, of course not."

He sighed in relief. Oh, my Mr. Boxers.

I just stared at his beautiful light blue eyes. He showed up at the Gala, surprising me by wearing a tux and tried to get along with the people I considered as my family. He was uncomfortable, it was so obvious but he stayed, by my side. He watched silently while I danced with my ex-husband without drawing any blood. He was trying to put my feelings first before his. He was making sure that I was safe, happy and satisfied. He never argued even if he wasn't in favor with my decisions. If he wasn't a saint, I didn't know what to call him anymore.

_Dumb, Steele. It's called love._

"Hey," He said snapping me out of my train of thoughts. "What are you thinking?"

"I was thinking how perfect you are, Officer." I traced his lips then down to his chin.

"I'm not. You are." His brows furrowed and I couldn't help but to giggle at the sound of his stubborn voice.

"You're cute."

"I'm certainly not cute!" He pursed his lips, obviously not liking the term cute.

I giggled again and threw my hands up in surrender. "Okay! Fine!" I snaked my arms around his neck and scooted closer to him, my breasts touching his hard chest. "You're sexy." I said trying my best to sound seductive. _Trying to play like a seductress queen pee again, Anastasia Steele?_

I flushed remembering what happened when I tried to seduce Gavin for his fantasy. He said it was such a huge turn for him that I 'squirted', his term though I didn't know what else to call it aside from peeing, and would love to see me doing it again.

I'm still wasn't sure how I did it or if I could do it again. The only reason that I think made me 'squirt' was that I actually enjoyed playing with myself in front of him. I was horny as hell and watching him so turned on did it for me.

Maybe I should practice?

_Oh geez. What are you, Steele? A sex maniac?_

I shook those thoughts out of my head. The only solution I could think of right now was to do my own research or maybe ask Kate or Tiffany about it. It would be very embarrassing but their experiences might be a big help.

"You're fucking sexy." He growled as he captured my lips. I could feel his jean clad erection and I didn't stop myself from grinding my hips against his.

When we pulled apart, his eyes were clouded by wanton desire and I could feel my insides tightened with the intense sexual pull between us. My nipples were already heavy and erect from those fiery kisses and I was sure with just one touch, I would explode like freight train.

"Tell me about your fantasies."

What? He wanted to know my sexual fantasies? Why?

Seeing my confusion, he added. "It's just that you did something so amazing for me. And I want to somehow try and do the same to you."

Oh my god.

"Gavin, you don't have to. It's..." I hope he wouldn't push because it would be so embarrassing.

"Please?" He purred. How could I resist if he was making that face? Half begging, half seducing? Geez.

"Fine. Just one." I rolled my eyes at him and the bastard just gave me panty-melting smile.

"Tell me."

"But it's quite embarrassing to say this out loud..." I flushed. He wasn't expecting me to tell him the whole scenario, was he?

"You don't need to elaborate. I will figure it out myself." He said winking and I couldn't help but to blush even more.

Okay, here we go. "Uhm, you see..." I looked down to his chest because I didn't think I could look him in the eyes while I voice out my fantasies. "Recently, I was having thoughts of you persuading me..."

"Not taking no for an answer." He said.

I swallowed, hard. "Yes."

He cupped my cheek in his hand and tilted my chin up. "Go on."

"You as a cop. But... disreputable."

I hoped, _prayed_, he understood the fantasy was no reflection on his professional conduct or ethics, just my mind and my body responding to his sheer presence and of course, he had handcuffs at the ready.

I held my breath anyway, ready to backpedal and smooth things over if necessary.

Instead he looked me over with a mischievous grin. "I thought you didn't like a rogue cop?"

* * *

After tucking a sulking Teddy to bed, I took a quick shower then opened my email to check for new messages. Teddy was in a bad mood since he came home from Seattle yesterday. I did try to ask him how was his time with his dad but he just gave me one word answers. I thought ice cream would at least get a bit of his hyper mood back but he just took it without any word. Maybe Christian did mention to him that he would be gone in a while.

I sighed.

My poor baby. I took a mental note to email Christian that he should at least call Teddy via Skype every night. After I looked back at what happened at the Gala, I somehow understood that this long business trip would help Christian to think things through. His words was still ringing in my head. Maybe if I was the same old me, I would've held on tight to him and begged him to stay. But that would just make things go back to how it was before. I couldn't do that to myself. I've had enough tears and heartbreak from the past five years of my life.

The only person I know who could surely cheer my Teddy up was Gavin. But I didn't want to disturb him after his patrol duty. I was sure he needed all the sleep he could get. He was again working sixteen hours straight.

I settled down on my couch with laptop on my lap. I have five new emails. One from Kate, I bet it was the pictures from last Saturday's charity event. Two from Tiffany, I would open those later. And one each from the two publishing houses here in Portland. Last week, I finally decided to inquire about job openings and found at least three independent publishing companies. I opened the first mail and my heart sunk. No position available at the moment. I took a deep breath before opening the second one. Okay, not really a bad one but I have to wait for few weeks to schedule my interview. Geez, that long?

I bumped into Jenny, the one I temporarily replaced for the job at the bookstore, the other day while I was shopping for groceries. She looked ready to go back to work so I asked her if she was going to return sooner than three months. She said she was still thinking about it since it was still early to leave her baby at home with someone else. So I thought that I should get my ass moving and find a new job as soon as possible.

And I also decided to resume my apartment hunting. I haven't mentioned to Gavin about my plan of moving to a new place. I have been looking at some apartments for weeks now and found four that looked homey and comfortable enough. I didn't know how he would react to this. I just hoped that he would understand that I needed to prioritize my son before anything else.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked again for tenth time.

Gavin laughed this time, clearly amused by my curiosity about this new restaurant that he was saying.

"Just sit back and relax, alright? We're almost there."

I pursed my lips and looked away. We were out on our usual Thursdate, date on Thursday night, the term just slipped from my lips and Gavin seemed to liked it. I was wearing a white sleeveless lace eyelet dress that Tiffany suggested I should wear tonight and she also did my smokey eye makeup. I think she would make more money being a fashion designer than with her job as a web designer. Tiff was also babysitting Ted for the night. She said she would be bringing her work with her and I was shocked to see my living room converted into a geek like office with laptops and other techy gadgets everywhere.

Gavin was looking extra hot wearing his signature white v-neck shirt, brown leather jacket and ripped jeans. I said extra hot because he had this mysterious smile on his face like he was planning something for tonight. His secret gazes were sending shivers to my body. I was sure that it wasn't my fantasy because we would be in a public place, so I wonder if he have something naughty up on his sleeve. _Hmmm._

* * *

A/N: Sorry no lemony goodness like what I've mentioned on my profile. It was a bit long and didn't want to leave another cliffhanger so I decided to cut it off... Don't worry, next chapter would include this special lemony scene ;)

Edited: Don't forget to check out the pictures on Pinterest :)


	31. Chapter 31

******_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy. Just this story. And NOT a professional writer. Just sharing my first ff._**

******A/N:** Hello! Sorry for the massive delay. I have so limited time to write now even work isn't that busy like last month. But **THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU** for all the reviews, new follows and favorites. You guys are just freaking awesome! I love you all to death :)

To Guest Reviewer **Carol:** Wow, long review! Thanks don't worry, I love it :)

To Guest Reviewer** Donny**: Hi! No beta, just me, myself and I.. I hope you forgive me for my errors. Editing long chapters are quite hard :(

Again, check my profile for chapter updates, Facebook for snippets and Pinterest for pictures :)

**MASSIVE THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE!** I sincerely apologize for the lack of replies to your reviews :( **Love y'all! **

Mistakes are all mine. Reviews are all appreciated. xx

* * *

The drive didn't take that long as Gavin pulled up in front of a Brazilian restaurant. He gave me a swift kiss on the cheek after helping me out of his shiny Range Rover. We just made a small talk on the way about my day. I wondered why he was so reluctant of telling that we would be dining Brazilian tonight.

We made our way inside and was able to choose our seats quickly because there were only few customers at the moment. I was disappointed when Gavin took a seat opposite mine but I didn't show it. I thought that he was feeling the same I was, like needing more body contact after few days of not seeing each other, but evidently I was wrong. _Maybe he didn't miss you like you did, Steele?_

"The chief mentioned this place before and I thought about taking you here. He said they have the best Marinated Lamb loin. I've been trying to get some special recipe for that and I thought I could spy in here and see how they cook theirs." He said winking at me.

His eyes lit up like Christmas whenever he talks about food and cooking. It was such a refreshing sight for a cop like him. Who would ever thought that Officer Boyle loved to cook and was good at it? No one, I guess. Well aside for those who knew him of course.

"I'll have that Marinated Lamb then." I smiled at him as he began to give our orders to the brunette waitress who couldn't keep her eyes off Gavin. He ordered two servings of marinated lamb loin and roasted cinnamon pineapple. I didn't notice her approached us actually. He had this effect when he talks about something, my eyes would solely focus on his light blue orbs and the way his mouth move and his sexy smile.

"How about you try Caipirinha with your meal, sir?" She said while batting her false eyelashes at him. _Geez, woman he's mine._

"Is that the one with brazilian rum?" He asked curiously, clearly interested with the drink than the flirty waitress. "Do you want to try that, Ana? Or would like some wine?" I just nodded at him not trusting my voice to say calm words.

"Okay, two glasses of white wine, please."

The brunette waitress gave Gavin one last flirty smile before she took off. I rolled my eyes and saw him watching me closely. I was still clueless to what was going inside that confusing head of his. He was giving mixed signals. He was giving those 'looks' but then he distanced himself by sitting opposite of me. _Calm the fuck down, horny Steele. Can't you just wait after dinner?_

"Jealous?" He said with a playful smile on his lips.

"Hardly." I snorted and denied the obvious. His smile turned into a huge grin, clearly amused by my expressions. No doubt my face was betraying my smart mouth.

"You're so beautiful, Ana. I missed you these past few days." I just rolled my eyes at him and reached across the table for one of his large hands. I wasn't going to buy that after he tried to make fun of my stupid jealousy. "You're all I think about and that's not good for my concentration. Dangerous, in fact." Again, his playful mood turned serious in a split of a second.

My hands seemed tiny in comparison to his long fingers and broad, callused palms. I turned one hand over so it rested palm-down in mine, then I traced the assortment of fresh scabs and bruises that covered the knuckles and the back of his hand.

"I didn't notice these earlier." _Because you were too busy trying to find out why he wasn't touching you, Steele._ "Is this what happens when you can't concentrate?"

His eyes met mine, completely bland. "It's what happens when a meth addict takes off after a traffic stop."

Oh.

My brows furrowed, intrigued by the change in his demeanor. "There's more to that story."

"I pulled him over for expired plates and saw drugs and paraphernalia in the passenger seat. He took off when I ordered him out of the car. Me and six other officers ended up searching the gully on the east side of Memorial park in the dark. He put up a fight when we found him. The bushes weren't real friendly, either."

"I'd hate to see what he looks like," I said, gently rubbing the skin around the scabs.

"Not too bad. It was Tase him or hurt him pretty bad to get him cuffed. I Tased him." He looked down to our hands and spoke softly. "People high on meth feel no pain, don't care if they live or die, or if you live or die." He then looked at me, his light blue eyes gone lighter, and something very, very feminine submerged inside me surged to life. "Gonna kiss my boo-boos and make 'em all better?"

"I'll kiss something that will make you forget the pain." I said. "But not your boo-boos."

His fingers closed tight around mine, I tried to pulled my hand back when flirty brunette waitress came back with our food. Gavin, this time, made sure to pass the clear message to the waitress by kissing the back of my hand slowly with his eyes locked on mine. _Ha, take that flirty bruny._

"I'm starving." I said and reached for my plate. The lamb was juicy, tender, perfectly seasoned. The roasted pineapple tasted absolutely amazing. Maybe I would ask Gavin to make these at home.

The lighting was a bit dim and the music background was low. It was just Thursday and I guess this place would be surely packed on weekends. Gavin continued to share more of his villain-catching moments. I stop him every time he gets into details when he catches a criminal who always fight back. Seeing those bruises covering the back of his hand made me realize how dangerous his job was. Anytime in the day he could encounter different criminals and god knows what those goons could do. I knew he was very capable and strong but I couldn't help but to get worried.

After that display of affection in front of the flirty waitress, Gavin just stayed on the opposite side and didn't touch me again. He kept his hands busy playing with his wine glass or just at his side. I didn't know what he was playing but his hot gazes were telling me he was just trying to restrain himself. But no matter what happens, I wouldn't make the first move tonight. Two can play the game.

"How did the job hunting go?" I took a sip of my wine and licked my lips slowly. His eyes followed the short movement of my lips and I couldn't help but to smile inwardly. _You're hopeless, Steele._

"No luck yet. But there's one publishing house that will get back at me in few weeks to schedule a job interview."

"That's better than nothing." His eyes were still on my lips as I deliberately bit my lower lip.

He took a large sip of his wine, gazing down to my neck and traveled up to my lips then finally looked straight into my eyes. The heavy-lidded look in his eyes made me cross my legs and squeeze my thighs together.

"Yeap." I said, popping the 'p'.

"You know," He said in a low tone and leaned closer. "When you lick and bite those lips, I always get this crazy drive to fuck you senseless. I don't care where we are or if anyone could see us. All I could think about is how tight, wet and ready you are for me."

Oh. My. God.

My eyes widened and glanced at the nearby tables, well aware that someone might hear us. My pulse pounded in my throat and I recrossed my legs and swallowed hard. He was really torturing me with all those hot looks and flirty talks. _You're a horny cat, Steele._

"You unleashed something inside me, Ana. That fantasy was my undoing. I dream about you wild, naked and wide open. I smell you all the time, that sweet scent of yours makes me crave for your taste. I hear you calling out my name with that high-pitch voice when you come." He closed his eyes for a bit and when he opened them, he caught my wrist and used his thumb to stroke the sensitive base of my wrist. "Are you hot right now? Getting wet? You're shifting around like you're sitting on tacks."

My heart stopped. Flat out stopped. I stared at him, my face flushing. He knew.

He watched and knew, but he didn't push. I could drown in the space he gave me to just be. All night long he was observing me. Was I that pretty obvious?

Once again, he left me speechless. I didn't know what to say so I just stared at him and kept my mouth shut. A gentle buzz filled my head as I studied the charcoal sketch of the Trevi fountain on the wall. I was wet. My lace panties tugged at my clit with each shift of my hips and all I could think about was going home. What would he do? How would I respond?

He brought my wrist to his lips. "Do you want to try that Brazilian cocktail?"

I shook my head no. "I'm good with the wine."

"Good then. Didn't want to smell like a Brazilian back at the station." He chuckled as he drank the last drop of his wine. The flirty bruny brought the check, waiting while Gavin tucked his Mastercard into the clear slot at the top.

What? "Are you working tonight?" I said, unable to keep a note of disappointment out of my voice.

"I got a call just before we went here." He shrugged.

"I thought..."

"Hey, I'm off tomorrow." He said as the waitress set the leather folder with the credit card slip back on the table. Thank god she did get the message and didn't attempt to sway her hips in front of Gavin again or I wouldn't stop myself from pulling her hair extensions. "I promise, I'll be all yours." He added as he scrawled his signature.

"All right." I stood up and grabbed my purse. "I'm just going to the restroom." I said in a flat voice.

Surprisingly, he stood up and dropped a quick kiss on my lips. "I'll wait here."

More than a little peeved I stalked through the almost-empty restaurant to the restroom. I couldn't believe him! That was it? All that flirtatious, sexy talk left me hot and bothered for him and all I got was a half-hearted kiss? If this was the game he was playing, I didn't like it a bit. He could have just told me he would be on duty tonight. I could have save myself from the anticipation that he was planning something for us.

I checked my reflection and saw my face was still a little bit flushed. I reapplied my lipstick and told myself to stay calm and poised. I wouldn't let myself be so affected with all the talk and no action. I just didn't get why—

The doorknob rattled.

"Just a minute," I called, quickly fixing my dress and stuffing my makeup kit back to my purse.

A pause, then a more purposeful rattle, a click and then the handle turned. Gavin slipped into the tiny room, pocketing a credit card as he closed and locked the door behind him.

"Gavin!" I managed to say before he pinned me against the door, braced a forearm on either side of my head and took my mouth with a slow, carnal kiss. I ran my hands up under his shirt, caressing his hard chiseled abs before pulling him close and crushing my breasts into his chest.

He assaulted my mouth with his tongue, nipping, licking and sucking. I snaked my arms around his neck and kissed him back with the same fervor. I kissed him feverishly, teeth clashing together, our tongues gliding and mixing with one another- our moans falling in sync with each other.

"I hate you." I whispered when he slid his lips over the sensitive corner of my mouth, along my cheekbone.

"No, you don't" He said, his words little more than hot pressure against my ear. "Show me."

I didn't understand until he took my hand from his neck and placed it on my own thigh. Working our fingers in tandem, we began to inch up the hem of my dress.

Oh my. Don't tell me he wanted me to...

He urged me to pull up my dress higher revealing several inches of pale thigh before creamy lace came into view. I stopped when the hem was just above the elastic edge of my panties.

"Show me that you don't hate me." He whispered as he guided my fingers under the lace. I let out a moan as I slid my fingers into my wet folds. My index finger brushed my clit and I felt my inner thighs trembled at the contact.

I hesitated. "I don't think I could…here…" I meant masturbate. Doing it in front of him in his bedroom was one thing but in a public restroom? I didn't think I could do it.

Through the scant protection of my panties Gavin covered my hand with his, urging me to begin a slow rhythm. "You look so beautiful when you blush." He sucked on my bottom lip and groaned. "Something about it makes you hot. And watching you like that makes me hot." Oh my god. "So show me. Show me that you want me as badly as I want you."

A tsunami of desire swamped me. His big body pressed hard against mine, one arm braced on the door over my head, the other hand dark over my mound, the thumb pressing into my abdomen, the fingers resting lightly on my own as they moved. My hand obediently held up my skirt while the other stroked delicately in my wet panties.

There wasn't time for a slow, sensual build, so I used my index and middle fingers and press rubbed either side of my clit, my body trembling in time to the spasms contracting my inner muscles. This wasn't like the first time I pleasured myself for him. I knew the right spot that could easily trigger my release. Though in my state, with Gavin's body pressed against me, I doubt I could last a minute before my orgasm hit me.

"Fuck, Ana. You're so fucking hot."

I dropped my head back against the door as another desperate moan slipped from my mouth.

I knew I was close. One thing I learned from playing myself for Gavin was it didn't take that long. Just looking at him, watching me come undone with those intense light blue eyes full of wanton desire and something else... was enough to send me screaming his name. One arm braced next to his head, with the other hand Gavin gripped my waist, keeping me close for slow, rhythmic thrusts against my hip. Our eyes met, sending a bolt of lust straight to my clit. I slowed my touch to keep myself at a simmer and flicked my gaze down to the erection straining the front of his pants.

"You too." I muttered on his lips.

He just shook his head and crashed his lips into mine. "Keep going, my lady."

"Please..."

He stepped away to snag several tissues from the box on the counter. Still focused on the barely visible movements of my fingers, he opened his belt and zipper to release his huge cock, the tip gleaming wet. The sight of his big hand firmly gripping his straining length nearly sent me sliding to the floor.

A few almost caressing strokes, then he held his palm in front of my mouth.

"Lick." Oh fuck.

I did. I'd never done anything raw like this. He was making me experience something that was way beyond what I've learned from someone who I thought knew everything about sexual pleasure. But this was really different.

Then he began to pump himself, the motion made slick and easy by my saliva. He focused on the top half of his shaft, clearly intending to get off fast and rough, nothing gentle or tentative about it. His focused intensity sent another shockwave of pleasure through my inner walls.

"Oh god" I said, the words barely audible in the still air. Sweat broke out at the base of my spine and along my hairline. My skin felt too tight as my clit swelled and strained between my rapidly stroking fingers. My gaze flew between my hand and his, just inches apart, moving in heated sync.

The pleasure built, built, built, until I fisted my hand in the folds of my uplifted skirt, arched my back and flew off into space. One soft cry escaped my lips before Gavin crashed his mouth into mine.

As the final tremors subsided, I broke the kiss to look at his gorgeous face. He let out that sexy growl in his throat as he clapped the tissues to the head of his rock hard shaft and gritted his teeth, his hips jerking in release. A groan eased from his throat as he came down from sheer pleasure, nuzzling into my hair.

Gavin recovered first. He cleaned up while I just leaned against the door trying to stiffen my knees. After he washed his hands, he turned to face me looking like we did nothing just few seconds ago. Well, aside from his intense light blue eyes, still a shade darker and full of carnal desire.

How did he do that, look as if nothing had happened when I felt like a boneless, skinless chicken breast? "I still hate you." I whispered.

He gave me a wicked grin and lifted the hand that had been in my panties and brought my fingers to his mouth. I gasped at the hot and wet contact of his tongue, licking my juices from the tips of my middle and index fingers._ Oh my._

"You've got another one coming soon." He said confidently and pulled me for a searing kiss.

He straightened my panties on my hips then pulled my skirt back down to my knees. I was somehow getting an idea on what this was all about. The long torturing wait, the dirty talks and now this. I just wished that I would be ready when it happens.

"I'll see you outside." And with one last kiss, he let himself out of the restroom.

* * *

I got a text from Tiffany Saturday morning saying she wanted to do lunch at Danny's. It was only half day at work and I didn't have any plans after. The bookstore was its usual quiet place and since there wasn't any customers at the moment, I busied myself reading The Professor by Charlotte Bronte. It was one of the classic novels that I loved where the story was written from the male protagonist's perspective. It was refreshing to read a story from a man's point of view once in awhile. I would surely miss working in a quiet place filled with books once I get a new job.

Friday didn't go according to plan. Gavin stayed on duty, replacing another officer who had been shot in the upper arm from a bank robbery yesterday. I was so worried when I heard about the incident. I felt my heart being squeezed out of me thinking about Gavin could have been that officer that was shot at the robbery scene. I was so relieved when he answered his phone, saying he was on his way home when the incident happened. The good news was the officer wasn't in a bad condition and the robbers were quickly caught.

This morning he managed to convince Ted to join him in his weekly exercise and basketball game. My boy seemed to be getting back to his usual hyperactive self after days of sulking and being cranky. The skyping with Christian at night helped a bit and with Gavin's massive ice cream treat and a promise of a day at the zoo. Gavin said that playing ball was one way of getting away from recent crime scenes. An image of Gavin immediately popped into my head, hot, shirtless and sweaty after shooting some hoops._ Holy sexy._

I was still thinking about that public masturbation I experienced with him the other night. The bastard planned every single moment. It was like he knew how my body would react. He knew that with just one heated look, he could make me wet.

"Hello? Earth calling to Ana!" Tiffany's high-pitched voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Yes. Sorry what was that again?" She just rolled her eyes at me and held up her phone.

"It's Cam. He's on his way here." She then looked at me inquisitively. "Your face is flushed and your head is miles away from here. You're thinking about Mr. Hot cop and his massive cock, am I right?"

"Tiff!" I looked around at the nearby tables, checking if someone heard us.

"What? I'm just stating the obvious, girl. Damn he must be a god in bed!"

I blushed furiously, getting really uncomfortable talking about my sex life.

"Alright, I get it. But one day you'll tell me how huge he really is." She said with a sweet slash naughty smile.

I just made a face at her. Geez, I couldn't believe this woman.

"Our food is getting cold." I said, with the clear intention of changing the subject.

"But seriously, Ana. How are things with_ too-sexy-to-be-just-a-cop_ Gavin?" She said in a very fast manner making me giggle.

"Things are doing great between us... He's very sweet and—"

"And so freaking hot that you just want to have sex with him every minute!"

"Tiff! I'm being serious here."

"Well, it's true! I couldn't help but think about such sexual thoughts whenever we talk about your sexy cop!" I hated that she was right. "I swear, he could make any woman kneel in front of him. Remember last week while we were having lunch, there were this group of girls who shamelessly stared at him the whole time we were here. Too bad for them and for the others drooling over him. He's madly, deeply and crazy in love with you." She said with a wink.

Really? "How did you know that?" I asked curiously. Well, I couldn't be sure if he feels that way because he hadn't said it himself.

"Are you blind? He couldn't take his eyes off you. His eyes light up whenever you are around. And when he looks at you, if he isn't eye fucking you," she said pointing it out and I laughed at her expression, "it's different. Like nothing mattered around him as long as he sees you." She added with a dreamy look and sighed.

"I don't know about that." I whispered. I couldn't just assume that Tiffany was right. When I said those three words the first time to my first love, we broke up. That time, decisions were made too soon. It all happened so fast that I didn't have the chance to think things thoroughly. Now that I was in a new relationship, I wanted to take things slow. Something that I should have done when I first fell in love. Mentioning those three words would make things different. I was certainly falling for him, no question about that, but what about Gavin? I would make sure that this relationship would not be same because I didn't want to end up broken again in the end.

Cam walked in with a grave expression. He was carrying loads of stuff, I was guessing he came from work.

"What happened to you?" Tiff asked as soon as he took the seat beside me.

Cam just sighed and took out his phone. He showed us a picture of two men making out in a dark hallway.

"Who's that?" I asked curiously?

"Holy shit! Is this the British guy you were talking about?" Tiff said.

Cam just nodded and sighed again.

"Wait a second. Someone fill me in please." I glanced at him then back to Tiff.

"Camy here rang me last Monday saying this British client of his asked him out. The _bloke_ even kissed him after that night. And then remember, I told you last Thursday night that Cam had a date right?" I nodded, listening intently. "He said that the_ bloke_ might be his first _shag_. We're even joking with these British words, Cam. Now tell me what happened and where did you get that photo?" The tenacious red head crossed her arms, waiting for Cam to speak.

"Oh girls. This was taken last night by Rikka, our secretary. She knew we went out twice already. She saw him with another guy last night at the bar and took a picture." He said looking like he was about to cry.

"Oh Cam." I grasped his hand and gave it a tight squeeze.

"Did you do it with him?" Tiff asked with a raised eyebrow.

Cam just shook his head.

"Good then. Forget the loser _bloke_, I'm going to smash his balls when I see him and just save your v-card for the right guy, alright?" Tiff said, finally making Cam smile.

"Dinner at my place tonight?" I offered making Tiffany jumped in excitement. I was still feeling sexually frustrated and Gavin said he would be working tonight also. So I guess some girly time with Cam and Tiff would help me relax a bit and forget about the week long abstinence. Not that I intended it to happen.

"Can I bring tequila?" Cam said.

"Yes please!"

I laughed at Tiffany's pleading voice. "Tequila's fine. But we'll save it after Teddy's bedtime."

The two squealed like 5 year old kids. And just like that, Cam's recent heart break, or should I say failed conquest to give away his virginity had been forgotten.

"And Ana, please say yes to my proposition about being Ted's acting mother tomorrow. Pretty please?" Tiff said in a sweet voice. I almost forgot about Jamie's, Teddy's new friend at the daycare, birthday party. Tiffany met the child's father yesterday when we went to fetch Ted. We learned that he was a single dad and that made Tiff's eyes shine bright like a diamond. Mr. Reynolds was the typical tall, dark and handsome. No wonder she was desperate to meet him again.

"We'll talk about it tonight."

* * *

I was organizing Teddy's toys in a huge box when I heard three hard thumps on my door. What was that? I quickly put the remaining toys and sealed the box. The fist took up pounding on my door again, five…ten…fifteen steady, insolent beats making me annoyed to whoever was on my doorstep right now.

"What on earth?" I began as I opened the door but stopped in my tracks when I saw who was standing outside the door.

Gavin stood in front of me, his face blank and unreadable. He was wearing a black leather jacket, jeans, motorcycle boots and his badge and gun on his belt. A white t-shirt clinging to his muscular chest and abdomen matched the three days worth of stubble on his jaw and the dark threat in his eyes.

"Ms. Steele?" His gaze flickered over me, not the caressing look of a lover but rather the eyes of a cop, ticking off details. I watched his demeanor went from dangerous but professional to just plain dangerous. I frowned not getting the situation.

"Yes?" I answered in a tentative voice.

"Officer Boyle with the police department. A waitress at Brazil Grill claims you had sex in their restroom." No shit. Don't tell me...

_"You as a cop. But... disreputable."_

Oh. My. God.


	32. Chapter 32

**********_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy. Just this story. And NOT a professional writer. Just sharing my first ff._**

**A/N:** Hi. Been a long busy week.. This is the first part of Ana's bad cop fantasy. I do not want to rush my writing and give you a crappy lemony goodness mixed with all stress from work. Next chapter will come sooners rather than laters baby.

Massive thanks to Bex **masonsmummy2011 **for helping me out with editing this chapter. Life saver.

Once again, I would like to thank all of you for the love and support for this story. I hope you won't hate me for the lack of updates.. Every chapter I get so amazingly overwhelmed with all your responses. I read every single review like twice, thrice to help me get going and continue writing. Hope you like this lemony chapter.

Mistakes are still all mine. Reviews all highly appreciated. Happy weekend! xx

* * *

**ANA**

I stared at Officer Boyle for about five seconds and quickly recovered from the shock of him showing up on my doorstep in the middle of the day. This was a complete surprise and now it all made sense. What a clever bastard.

_This is it, Steele. You have to get a grip and fast._

"Are you sure you're looking for the right person?" I said in a challenging tone. "Did she see anything?" I tried to sound bored at the same time. Even if we had a fabulous sex slash masturbation in the restroom, it was way too early to confess.

He pursed his lips and locked his eyes on mine. "No." He said. "But she said she saw an unidentified man entered the restroom after you did. She heard noises... Specifically the voice of a woman begging for more."

"It wasn't me." I quickly said. "I'm afraid you're wasting your precious time, Officer." I let my eyes roam over him, like he was doing and quickly stepped back to close the door.

But he was fast and was able to trap his booted foot between the door and the frame, preventing it from closing. He pushed the door open and let his six foot two, hundred and twenty-pound muscled body in. He didn't take his eyes off me as he closed and locked it, the click of the bolt echoing through the living room. I took the chance to turn around and quickly moved, not knowing where to go exactly. I scrambled for the bedroom, which I thought was the best place to run since it had a lock, but my clumsy self made a grand, wrong timing appearance as I stumbled and found my ass on the floor. A crooked grin I'd never seen before spread across his face as he took his leather jacket off and left it on the floor of the entryway.

I knew it was impossible now to lock myself in the bedroom because he would surely catch me even before I could reach and turn the knob of the door. So I pulled myself up and put the couch between us. It was a useless barrier but I wouldn't just let him get to me that easily.

His grin widened like he could read my mind. He looked so confident that he could anticipate my every move. I stood straight and narrowed my eyes at him. I didn't want him to think that I was intimidated by his looks. I noticed that he was using his body in a way I'd never seen before. It was like a weapon. It looked like a strategic, defensive weapon now but no doubt he would go on the offense eventually.

Hot and dangerous.

"M-my husband will be home soon." I wanted to slap myself for stuttering, betraying my role as a defiant woman.

He nodded at my ringless finger. "I can see that." He said sarcastically.

"I know the chief." I said confidently, fisting my hands and trying my luck.

He chuckled and gave me a wicked and insulting look. "Oh really?" Then he took a step forward. "Right now your exhibitionist tendencies are just between you and me. You want to take that public?"

Definitely not. ""What do you want?" I asked. Maybe I could use my negotiating skills here.

"What do you think might convince me to forget this ever happened?"

Holy shit. I swallowed twice and a slow, sticky desire pulsed in my breasts and my inner thighs as I considered my options. The inexorable look on his face said it all. The answer to that challenging question was floating thick in the air that I could actually touch it. Was that the only thing that I could do to pay for this kind of situation?

I unfisted my hand and took a deep breath. He stood his ground making me come all the way to him. And I did, feeling smaller than ever as my bare toes met his biker boots. I was close enough to feel the heat radiating heat from him and made a bold move of planting both hands to his hard chest, caressing the hard muscles before sliding my palms down to his chiseled abs.

I smiled inwardly when I felt his breath quicken, his flat belly rising and falling more rapidly when I unbuckled his belt and popped his button and zipper. I kneeled before him and looked him straight in the eyes. My Mr. Boxers would've suggested that we should move to the carpeted part of the floor or on the couch in regard to my knees. Officer Boyle, however, just simply unclipped his gun from his belt and carefully threw it on the couch. Then he gestured for me to pull his jeans down to release his waiting member.

I was aware of his love for my mouth. Every time we made love, he always mentioned how amazing my mouth was. And now was the time to take fully advantage of my A++ oral skills. I would never admit it to anyone because it was clearly embarrassing, but having a 'fuckable mouth' definitely boosted my confidence in the sex department. I knew exactly how to pleasure him, how to make him come like he never did before.

_Don't be overconfident, Steele._

I started off by licking his thick and long shaft from the base to the tip to make it slick. I repeated the same process twice, thrice and took him all the way to the back of my throat. I began stroking his throbbing length as I continued to suck the head hard.

"Fuck, yeah." He muttered.

I stroked him faster as I took his balls into my mouth. I peered at him through my lashes and licked my way up to tip then flicked my tongue around, teasing him just the way he liked it. I worked his rock hard cock with my mouth and tongue, up and down, up and down.

He groaned and took control of the pace and I knew he was close. He laced his fingers into my hair as he pumped himself to my mouth, desire pooling between my legs. Even if he was treating me in a very different way, I couldn't help the excitement building on me. I got used to his gentle ways, a bit rough sometimes, in bed and loved it but this bad ass cop persona was really turning me on.

He growled and his whole body stiffened as I felt his shaft jerk inside me, his semen pulsing onto my tongue.

When the tension slackened from his limbs, he combed his fingers out through my hair. I sat back on my heels and watched him buttoned up. I thought that he was going to help me up but he just crossed his arms and gave me an amused, condescending half-smile. Definitely not my Mr. Boxers.

"That was nice, Ms. Steele. But that's not what I had in mind."

**GAVIN**

The shocked look on Ana's face was priceless after I'd told her that a blow job wasn't what I wanted. Did she think so little of me to have my fill of her mouth and just leave her hanging? She looked so damn fuckable at the moment. Her eyes dilated, full of pure wanton desire and her luscious lips swollen from sucking my cock.

Damn I wanted to be inside her so fucking bad.

But I have to restrain myself or this would be all over even before it got started. I have to do this perfectly for Ana. She gave me something that I never expected to have. She even gave me a bonus, she fucking squirted. Oh hell yes. I've never been with a woman who could do that and what a lucky bastard I was to make Ana experience something she had never done before. And a first for me too. My cock was twitching and getting extra hard just by thinking of it. Despite the fact that I just came hard from fucking her mouth.

I watched her open-mouthed astonishment disappeared and replaced by haughty, arrogant look that just made her extra damn hot and so suited with her role. She slowly rose to her feet but didn't say anything. She just raised an eyebrow at him and crossed her arms to her chest.

"Too bad, Officer. Because it's all you're getting."

She was slowly backing away and I knew what she was thinking. I moved quickly to grab her arms and pulled her tight against my chest. She tried to get away by pushing me back so I had no choice but to restrain her wrist by my left hand behind her back. I grabbed a handful of her chestnut hair using the other hand and tugged on it. A quick possessive massage of her scalp seemed to calm her as she took a deep breath and stood, trembling in my arms.

"Hmm." Her sweet scent filled my nostrils as I brought her hair to my nose. "Nice try honey. But we're just getting started."

Ana then took me by surprise when she tried to kick my balls. When she failed to do so, she tried to free her hands. _My woman is one tough cookie eh? I like that._ I got amused by her struggles so I just tightened my grip and lifted her off her feet, carrying her into the bedroom. The door slammed closed with a kick of my booted foot.

I set her down none too gently and took two steps back, crossing my arms across my chest. "Strip."

"Excuse me?" She hissed at me, standing defenceless with just a white top on, skin-tight jeans and bare feet. _God, she's so fucking sexy and all mine._

"Ms. Steele, I'm going to get real bad-tempered if I have to repeat myself," I said in a softer version of the voice that got criminals out of a car and down on the ground. "Your clothes. Take. Them. Off."

She turned for the door.

"If I have to chase you down again, you're getting fucked where I catch you." Yes, my dick was itching to get a taste of my lady's hot wet core.

Her face was flushed when she turned back to face me. A slightly off-balance look mixed with the heat in her eyes, I was pretty sure it turned her on. Her hands caught the hem of her top as she slowly pulled it off her. I knew the difference between Ana's aroused flushes and embarrassed blushes so I didn't back off. She'd asked for a bad-ass cop. She'd get him as controlling, unmanageable and demanding as I could stand to be with her.

She threw her white top to the side and her mouth-watering breasts came into view, plumped up by a low cut lacy bra. Holy fuck, could I get any harder than I was already? Imagining that her panties as the same color, like pale pink of cotton candy, almost made me come in my pants. I loved the sweet, virginal shades of her underwear, it suited her innocent yet seductive personality that was enough to drive me wild.

Holy fucking shit.

When she stepped out of her jeans, it confirmed just exactly what I thought she was wearing underneath. Fuck me to hell. The week long wait was making me lose control of the situation. The sight of her, almost naked was just too much to ignore now. I tried to plan this perfectly to give her the fantasy she wanted. But seeing her in just her sweet yet seductive underwear, just a few feet away from me, was making it harder for me to continue the role play.

_Dick head, get your shit together. This is for her, not for you. So man up and finish the job!_

Her hands on her hips, a faint smile teased the corners of her mouth as she caught me staring at her like an idiot. "Like what you see?"

"So far." I said in a bored tone. I should be in control here not her.

I gave her a once over then cocked my head to the side.

"You sure you didn't have sex in that restroom?" I asked, falling back on the convenient "offense" to justify my big, bad self.

"I did not." She snapped, sounding haughty even in her underwear. Where did she learn that tone?

I shook my head. "Wrong answer." I said and walked to her. Let's get things started.

To her credit she didn't back away, just put her hands on her hips and glared up at me . The snooty look faded when I crooked my index finger through the front clasp of her bra and popped it open. She gasped and backed up a step, lifting her hands to stop the lace from pulling away to reveal her nipples. Seizing the perfect opportunity, I reached for the shoulder straps, stripping her of the bra before I gently twisted her arm behind her to direct her toward the bed.

"No." She pushed back against me when she came up against the edge of the mattress.

"You want me to make you?" The question was rhetorical. I lifted her and followed her up on the bed. I took the time to take my shirt off over my head then she tried to make her escape at the opposite side of the bed.

"Don't make things worse, honey." I said as I dragged her back against me. "Face the wall. Good girl." I praised, as if she was actually cooperating.

When she sat back on her heels facing the wall behind the headboard, I urged her elbows up. As I snuggled up behind her, bare chest to her back, aligning my knees outside hers, her upraised hands automatically slid behind my neck. That wasn't where I'd normally put them for this maneuver but it would work while I played good cop for a second.

Well, I couldn't really treat her like a real criminal. _She's too beautiful for that role._

She made a questioning little noise that turned into a mewl as I cupped her breasts, thumbs brushing her nipples into hard points. When the caresses made her bite down on her lower lip and push her knees against mine, widening their stance on the pale blue comforter cover, I reached behind with my right hand and palmed my cuffs. Then I locked the fingers of my left hand around her left wrist and brought it in front of her after looping the cuffs in between headboard rails.

I had the steel bracelet around her wrist before she could comprehend what I was doing. When the cuff clicked into place she startled and gasped, twisting in a hopeless effort get my hands off her wrist. I took advantage of her surprise, with my strength and experience, I gripped her right wrist and secured it to the left.

The look she shot me over her shoulder was menacing and pure hell as she gave the handcuffs a good yank. "That was a dirty trick." She said. While she was still very much in character, right down to the pout, her words were a little breathless.

I leaned back to admire the erotic sight of her delicate wrists, cuffed and her ass now up in the air as she bent to rest her elbows on the pillows. I was reluctant at first, if I was going to use the handcuffs but damn, double damn, she looked like a fucking sex goddess. Not exactly how I pictured my own fantasy of tying her up, but this was such a sexy alternative.

"Never said I'd play fair." I said as I stroked her curves from hip to ass, then ran my index fingers under the lower edge of her panties.

I felt goosebumps prickle along her arms and her nipples tightened. She shivered when she looked over her shoulder, her eyes now heavy-lidded and aroused.

"You like?" I asked.

She looked straight ahead. "Not at all." She denied that made me chuckle as I heard the desire in her voice.

"Too bad." I said as I nuzzled into her hair and brushed her hair back from her ear and bit down gently on the edge. God, I could stay here forever with that sweet and sexy scent of hers.

Then I smoothed both palms up from her hips, over her rib cage, to her breasts, pinching and plucking her nipples with just enough pressure to make her squirm and sigh.

"What do you want?" she finally asked with a hint of desperation in the question.

"I'll tell you what I want," I whispered as I continued to play with her breasts, _I fucking love them_ "when you tell me what you did in that restroom."

**ANA**

I froze as he let that sexy growl into my ear, my toes curling from the bolt of lust that went straight through my body.

Everything happened fast after that blow job in the living room. I wasn't expecting myself to end up like this, my wrists cuffed to the headboard raised with my ass in full view, nothing much on me aside from my panties. The handcuffs, my god, one of my wildest dreams came true. The way he cuffed me, so brisk and so capable that I didn't see it coming.

Sure, I'd already been cuffed before, the honeymoon but this was way different. He forced me into it yet I found it so erotic and exciting. I kept resisting but he just pushed. But I couldn't give up yet. Not just yet.

I was under his control now as he continued to assault my nipples. The sensations of his touch glided down to pool in my belly, all the more powerful for my inability to stop them.

"I didn't do anything." I said in a defiant voice.

"Really?" He asked with mock surprise, tightening the pressure on my nipples. "A hot little piece like you? Yes, you may look innocent but not to me."

I tried to respond but he made it impossible as he nipped on my shoulder. "Ready to confess?"

"No!"

"Then stop talking, Ms. Steele."

I wanted to challenge him but stopped myself quickly before I could say anything. I knew he could definitely find a wicked way to stop me from talking.

A low rumble of laughter vibrated against my back. "Good decision," he said.

He continued to touch me as he bent his head and rubbed the rough stubble coating his jaw against my cheek. My pulse pounded in all the places I wanted him to touch. My lips and the skin of my inner thighs, both desperate for his kiss. My clit, plump and wet for his fingers. But he avoided those places, coming close but never touching.

"You look so sexy wearing my cuffs," he growled.

Oh, god. If he started talking, I was done for sure. With his words, sensation bounced back from my throbbing nipples to my poor, neglected clit. I twisted in his grip and felt sweat prickled behind my knee.

"I'm going to leave them on when I fuck you. Feel how hard I am? That's from thinking about every stroke, so fucking hot and wet."

I moaned and dropped my head forward. Gavin gave a low and sexy chuckle as he worked his mouth on my sensitive neck. Licking and biting with gentle sucks, he made his way down my cervical spine and over the soft skin of my shoulder.

"I'm going to spread you wide under me and watch you take it all, over and over…right here." He stopped teasing one nipple, sliding his hand down into my wet panties. His fingers glided past my clit to circle my sensitive hot core and suddenly all I could think about was how good he felt when he pushed inside.

Oh fuckity please.

I gave the cuffs a hard tug, they bit into my wrists. Shit.

"No distractions, nothing keeping me from doing this…"

His rough finger found my clit, slick and swollen at the top of my wet folds.

"Oh yes." I sighed in relief, arching into his touch.

"No, oh no," he said, amused dominance in his voice. He lightened his touch and widened the circular motion. The rising tension slackened, but he kept me heated and added his other hand to the mix, pushing first one, then a second finger inside me.

I jerked against the restraining cuffs, desperate to cup my breasts and soothe my nipples, or bat his hand away and rub my clit.

"So fucking sexy, watching you like this," he whispered as I squirmed in his arms. "The poor guy probably didn't know what hit him. Those pink panties look so sweet, but you're hot enough to burn the fucking house down."

I moaned with frustration, and ground down on his hands. He laughed again and pulled his fingers from my panties to trace my lower lip with the tip of his middle finger, then watched as my tongue flickered out to taste my own arousal. Oh fucking my.

"See how hot you are, honey?" he said, his fingers teasing my clit maintaining the same steady, torturously unsatisfying pace. "Come on, just tell me. Then we can move on to paying your debt to society."

Oh, dear God!


	33. Chapter 33

**********_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy. Just this story. And NOT a professional writer. Just sharing my first_**_ ff._

**A/N:** Hello! I'm back. So... I want to clear some things first.

I read back the reviews from the last chapter before I wrote this. First, I know some of you are dying for some drama. Yes I did say I'm not a fan of drama after drama **but I never said that there won't be any drama in this story.** I know some of you are getting bored with only Ana and Gavin for the last few chapters but if you're reading carefully and paying attention to the timeline and events, the last three chapters including this one, are all connected to Ana's fantasy. I know other authors would just write it in just one chapter, but I'm not them. Why this fantasy took 3 chapters? Well, this one is kinda special to me because when I first wrote Gavin as an officer. this was the first lemon scene I thought of. You know the other obvious reason. And kinda nervous of how it will turn out. Next. I noticed that some reviews are quite skeptical about Ana's feelings. Yes she isn't OOC, I've made some adjustment to her character, a mature Ana who wouldn't just make something, or decide something out of the blue because she was pushed into it. As you can see, 33 chapters I'm taking my time. **And I think it all goes down on how we view Ana's love for Christian when they were still together.** Maybe we all got used to the other stories out there where you could read the characters already confessing love in Chapter 10. Those are the fast-paced ones and **Strong Steele is different.** Too much lemons? I don't think so. I think you can still count with your fingers how many chapters A&G lemons, yeah? Or should I just minimize the lemon writing so you could all focus in the story? Maybe some of you are just not used to this slow paced story.** And where's Christian? Why is he being too nice and quiet?** As much as I want to answer those questions, I won't. You just have to wait patiently and calm you farm, wait for those to be answered by reading the future chapters.

**I'm not offended by your reviews, k? I love all of it.** Well, except for the trolls. I'm just trying to explain things because I think your questions are quiet getting impatient and wanted to take things faster. I'm not in a hurry, so like what I've said I'm going to take my time even I have so little of it with work and my real life in the way. I have all the chapters planned out, even the ending. So just sit tight and enjoy the rest of the ride.

**THANK YOU FOR ALL THE MASSIVE RESPONSES. And WOW didn't expect that after 32 chapters there are still new Followers! To the guest reviewers that are always reviewing, you know I love you guys. You always got my back. I'll leave those trolls to you guys, you deserve better to be mentioned here than them. *List of guest reviewers shouties down below!***

And I'm gravely sorry for that weight mistake. I missed the word 'two'. I promise to double-triple check before I post a chapter.

And one more thing, I won't repeat myself again about Characters 'dying' in this story. GEEZ. *rolling my eyes*

Sorry if there are errors again. And Reviews are all appreciated. xx

* * *

"I won't." I bravely said. Yes, my resistance was fading but I didn't want to give up yet. I knew it was just a matter of time thanks to his slow foreplay. His skin on mine was too much to ignore. I just needed to hang on a little more, maybe he would break first...

"Okay. Fine by me." He muttered arrogantly. "I'll just let you be in that position. You think I won't fuck you long and slow and deep and leave you hanging?"

"You wouldn't!" My eyes grew larger at the image of myself wide-open with my hands immobilized while he satisfied himself, fucking me seven ways to Sunday.

I should have known better than to challenge him. He withdrew his hands and sat back. In that moment, I discovered something worse than enduring Gavin's sensual torture—enduring it with no relief.

I twisted my head to look over my shoulder and met his hard and unrelenting stare. Slowly, he worked at his fly, tugging the buttons free from their holes and I could see his hard member straining through the front of his opened jeans. I knew I have to change my tactics. Maybe I could give a little then I could gain a lot.

Right now, I was at his mercy and he could do anything without a fight.

"Wait!" I called out when I felt his palm between my shoulder blades as he began to push me forward.

To my surprise, his touch lightened but still in place, reminding me of his intentions.

"Fine. I'll tell you everything." I said flushing and trembling with desire.

If I'd thought my surrender would make him lessen his relentless assault on my senses, boy I was wrong.

"I don't like your tone or your attitude, Ms. Steele." He said as he pushed me down flat and straddled my backside. The cuffs made a metallic clink as he manipulated them, then my wrists were separated. "Turn over."

Now was the chance! I tried to push up by bringing my hands under my shoulder but it was no use. Damn he was strong. He flipped me effortlessly, the hard muscles in his bare torso flexing in the light from the lamp. He brought my hands, one still locked in the cuffs, over my head then looped again the free cuff to the headboard rail and secured my other wrist.

"No. No." I moaned trying to get free.

He pushed my legs together and straddled me, the muscles in his arms shifting under the skin as he surveyed my defenseless body. My heart rose into my throat at the anticipation and palpable desire outlined in the hard planes of his face.

"Start talking." His gaze roamed to my breasts, the swell of my hips then to the wet heat between my legs.

I glanced up at my restrained hands then back to him. "Suddenly I have nothing to say–"

He kissed me. Hard. Stopping the words in my mouth with the pressure of his lips and the sweep of his hot tongue.

"This works better. It's easier to shut you up if I don't like what I hear."

I stared up at him, his light blue eyes dark and intense. In complete control. He bent to the sensitive spot just below my ear, following a hard nip with a gentle lick. "Tell me what happened."

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

One thing that scared me more than his commanding voice was silence from him. And yes, he was silent at the moment.

My eyes flew open when he spreaded my legs wide. A quick twist of his big hands and my panties dropped useless to the bed. "Time's up." He said guiding his shaft toward my aching wet core.

Outmaneuvered, outmatched, outplayed, my surrender was reluctant but real. "I swear I didn't know he was going to follow me in!"

He sat back on his heels but scooted forward, placing a hand on either side of my head and kissed me. He attacked me with his tongue and traced my outer lips. The thick stubble on his cheek was rough against my skin but I loved the feel of it. "He seduced you? I don't believe you."

"It's true! He picked the lock on the door and came in after me."

The words trailed off as his kisses came to down to my throat and caught each nipple and sucked.

"You could have said no."

"He was so persuasive." I whispered and arched my back, thrusting my nipples to his teasing mouth. "And I…I wanted to do it." I confessed, finding some relief from his hot tongue.

"Bad girl." He said, catching each bud between his teeth. "And then?"

"He wanted me to…touch myself for him." I bit my lower lip, somewhat embarrassed from saying it outloud but definitely made me insanely hot.

"Here?" He laid his big palm on my throat.

I moaned. "Lower!"

"Here?" Now his hand was at my breast, squeezing and pinching.

"No! Lower!"

His hand slid lower and lower until he cupped my mound. "You must mean here."

"Yes, but lower, lower…"

Then he glided his index and middle fingers on either side of my throbbing nub, stroking my swollen desperate clit "Here?" His tone all innocent inquiry.

I could have smacked him already with that boyish choir voice if my hands were just free.

"Yes, yes, there!"

I closed my eyes when I thought that he was going to stop and tease me all over again, but his fingers were merciless. Slowly bringing me to sheer ecstasy.

"Did you come?"

"Yes," I moaned loudly. _And I'm going to again, so please, please don't stop…_

"Did you like it?"

"Yes! God, yes!" _I need this so badly…_

"Do you want to come now?"

I was so desperate now and shamelessly begged. "Yes! Please, don't stop, please, please don't—"

He didn't. The fast strokes of his fingers sent me over the edge, fierce bursts of heat and light pulsing through my body. I attempted to open my eyes to regulate my breathing but it seemed that Officer bad ass was now set about making my surrender complete, licking his way down the midline of my body, dipping his tongue into my belly button then settled between my legs and curving one arm around to spread my wet folds from the top to blow gently on my throbbing clit.

I arched my back again, silently pleading. But he took his time licking my inner folds, dipping his tongue inside and applied a gentle pressure with his rough chin.

I couldn't stop my hips from moving on its own when he suddenly pushed two fingers inside me and crooked them against that sensitive spot, the same nerves that made me feel hot at that time of his fantasy. When he sucked my clit, I instinctively tried to grabbed his hair to push into his talented mouth. But the cuffs made it impossible as the climax, or so I thought, built in strength and power.

"Oh so good…please don't stop… my god like that…just like that…"

Then suddenly, that same feeling was back as he kept thrusting, keeping that fast pace of his fingers and I could feel my inner thighs trembling from the intending release. My insides clenched as Gavin pulled back, I was sure he felt it coming too and that gush of liquid spilled out between my legs.

"Oh god, no." I gasped and opened my eyes in terror that I actually 'squirted' again and this time directly in front of Gavin's face. I tried to pull back from embarrassment but he caught my hips even before I could move. Though I wasn't sure if I could move after that amazing release.

I gazed at him and saw that he was back on his heels between my legs, his chest damp with sweat as he shoved his jeans down just enough to free his huge cock. He took out a foil packet and ripped it open and rolled it hastily on his shaft. I wanted to tell him that I was already on the pill. But no words came out as he braced one forearm beside my upraised arms and gripped my hip with the other hand, positioning the broad tip at my dripping wet opening. I moaned as he pushed forward, thick and hard and stretching my swollen, sensitive walls.

"Wait!" I gasped.

"Not a chance in hell." He said, the raw edge in his voice proof his control was gone.

Soft, faded denim slid against my inner thighs as he thrust forward until he was as far inside me as he could get. Hard and huge. He was so hard and huge inside me, his rigid abdomen pressed against my soft belly.

"Say it." He demanded, with that unrelenting tone of his voice as he brushed my hair back from my face.

I looked up at him, finding my implacable rogue cop in strained line of his jaw, but a touch of softness in the depths of his light blue eyes. "Please."

He pounded hard, once, then began and oh, I liked this, the way he single-mindedly sought satisfaction in my tight, wet core. I couldn't think of anything else, with his every thrust consuming me with fierce pleasure down between my legs. I arched under his heavy weight, as I tried to keep my eyes open, watching his agony build with each thrust. Always, always, he kept his eyes open and locked with mine, the clench of his teeth and tightness of his jaw, a clear evidence of his own need.

Watching him as he came undone pushed me over the edge into sobbing ecstasy.

I closed my eyes as I went limp, the cuffs clattering against the rails as my arms relaxed. He groaned as his hard abs jumped against my soft belly and his grip tightened once again on my hip as he buried himself for the last time, his cock pulsing as he came. Sweat trickling off his jaw line and fell on my collarbone melting against me.

Oh my fuckity fuck. That was beyond intense.

* * *

I was relaxing under the hot shower with Gavin's warm hands massaging my shoulders, a bit stiff from the short time that I was restrained. When he saw the dark red marks forming around my wrists, he cursed loudly and quickly regretted that he used the cuffs. I told him that it was okay, that I was fine. Even though I tried to assure him that it would be gone soon, he still looked unconvinced that it didn't harm me. I tried to hold off my laughter when he panicked and looked lost of what to do after he saw the marks. It was a refreshing sight after playing the role of a bad ass sexy as hell rogue cop. _My rogue cop._

He was still down after I tried to cheer him up so I just told him that a hot shower and a massage would make me feel better. He moved quickly, turned on the taps of the shower full blast and adjusted the water temperature in just a minute. Just like the trained Officer he was.

He kept at his massage, shifting from my shoulders to my upper arms, then my lower back, until I melted back against him. He used her unopened coconut-scented conditioner that felt surprisingly good for a massage. Or maybe because it was from Gavin's talented hands? But either way, I felt so relaxed and the tremors were easing.

He wrapped his arms around my torso and held me close. "I'm sorry Ana. It was stupid of me. I shouldn't have used–"

"Hey." I cut him off. "I told you I'm okay. This," I held up my wrists, "is nothing. So please, stop referring to yourself as stupid."

"But–"

"No buts. I if I hear you one more time with that 'sorry' and 'stupid' I won't let you kiss me for a week. Got it?" If I wouldn't threaten him with no-kiss he wouldn't stop.

"Alright." He sighed heavily and rested his forehead onto my shoulder.

"Thank you." I muttered after a minute of silence.

"For what?" He asked, as he nipped on that sensitive part of my earlobe.

"For making it happen." I twisted around and snaked my arms around his neck. "I didn't expect you to show up today. You really did surprise me."

He leaned closer and ran his nose along mine. "Anything. For you." He caught my wrists and placed a soft kiss on each red marks that was now more visible and darker. Guess I would have to find something to cover these up. Not that I mind but I didn't want Teddy to see the marks or someone else. They might mistaken that Gavin was abusing me. "Though it had some bad physical results." He cringed.

It was the other way around. He was making me happy. I couldn't ask for more.

"It's perfect." I countered. "It was beyond what I expected. Hell, even better than the fantasy I had in mind." I pulled him for a quick kiss. "You're an evil but a sexy as hell bastard, don't you know that?"

He smirked at me as he cupped my bottoms and grinded his hips against mine. "Sexy as hell, yes. Bastard? No."

"Oh yes you are!" I pursed my lips and tapped the tip of his nose with a finger. "You intentionally left me untouched for almost four days and then made me do something in a public place just to.. show up in my place to... to–"

"To what?" He said grinning mischievously. _God help me, this man is one sexy beast._

I flushed and bit my lip. God, I was feeling horny again just by thinking how he took control of my body, of my pleasure. It was so different with how I was introduced to sex. I was so naive back then that I just let a man took control of my body. Yes, I did enjoy those kinky stuff when we play in the red room because I was madly in love with the man. That I was willing to try anything just to please him. But he never did ask me first. He just assumed that if I try it, I would love it. Of course, I had no experience prior to our relationship so I just let him and enjoyed those intimate moments because it was with the man I loved. With Gavin and rogue cop fantasy, even if it was pure intense, rough, raw and him in control, it felt more intimate because he paid attention to what I wanted and he simply or should I say amazingly made it happen. He did it because it came from me.

No matter how hard I resist from falling hard for him, I couldn't help my poor heart. He was simply irresistible. Not to mention kind, sweet, sexy cute, hot, funny, so manly, a gentleman with a bit naughtiness and oh did I already mention too hot and sexy?

And my god, I 'squirted' again!

_Geez Steele. Calm your horses. Give your hoo-ha some breather first before you jumped on this hot and wet Greek god in front of you._

I hid my face in the crook of his neck from embarrassment. With the naughty look Gavin was giving me, I was sure my ever betraying face didn't disappoint in showing what was on my mind.

"Gavin..." I mumbled.

He chuckled and pulled me close. "You're so beautiful, did you know that?" And I just bit his earlobe as a sign of disagreement to that statement.

"But, seriously Ana. Did I hurt you? Are you sore? I was a bit rough with you." He said, his voice laced with full concern.

I pulled back to look at his gorgeous worried face. "A bit rough? You were too rough with me, Officer!" His face fell and I swear if I just had a camera at the moment I could have taken this priceless look on his face. I smiled sweetly and grabbed his face with both hands and caressed his stubbly cheeks. "I loved it. I loved that you were rough, Officer Gavin Boyle the rogue cop."

His eyes turned a shade darker as he pulled me up and I automatically wrapped my legs around his hips. I could feel his growing member pressing hard against my belly. He kissed me in such ferocious manner as I kissed him back with the same fervor. I grabbed his short dirty blond hair and gave it a hard tugged as his tongue wrestled with mine, his hand finding its way down to my...

He suddenly pulled back and looked at me curiously. No wait. He was like listening intently to something...

"Gavin, what's–"

"Shh... I think there's someone knocking at the door." Oh. Gavin turned off the shower and I tried to listen with him. I looked at him funny because he was back in rogue cop mode again. His face was dead serious like he was trying to figure out how to solve a mysterious puzzle. Geez.

"I don't hear anything." I said whispering, trying to play along like the victim that he'd just rescued. I broke into a fit of giggles when he raised an eyebrow at me, not getting what I was trying to do.

"Finish up. I'm going to check who it is." He said with a smile and shook his head.

I watched his naked back as he got out of the shower and quickly dried himself with my pink towel then tied it around his waist. Was there really someone at the door or he was just bullying me again? That man. I bet he was just teasing me, starting with those heated kisses then suddenly backing off.

I stepped out of the shower a minute later and wrapped my body in a big fluffy bathrobe and walked into the bedroom. I decided to check first what was Gavin doing before I dress up. I found his shirt on the bed, guessing he just wore his jeans. I was contemplating if I should wear his shirt or just stay in my bathrobe when I heard loud voices coming from the living room.

Oh my god. What was that?

I hurriedly opened the bedroom door and made my way to check the commotion.

"... is my daughter? And who the hell are you?" Oh no. That voice... Ray!

* * *

**A/N:** **Thank you** ... LoveReadingGirl, Mommylady, Laura, lollypop, J, Violet, Carol, Sandra, Gemma, sillie j, FSOG103, Daisy, Guest Reviewer, Lola, Polly, Evie, Izzy x, Mandy, Amanda, Jill, Juliette, zen, Elaine, Hallow, Poppy! , Ali, Melissa, Shaza, Chocolate, KatieRose, **Tempress - Lol I think he got the wrong story, maybe he's referring to Green Galvin(goblin) LOL,** Sophie, Lexie, Mae Jenivie, Penny, Charlotte, Stacey, Alesha, neim92.2, juciylucy, Autumn, tamster127 and Annabelle. They are only guest reviewers from chapter 32, sorry if I wasn't able to mention the others from the previous chapters.. it will take me forever to check em all out. **BUT MASSIVE THANKS EVERYONE!**


	34. Chapter 34

**********_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy. Just this story. And NOT a professional writer. Just sharing my first_**_ **ff**. _

* * *

Taking a deep breath, I open the cupboard and took out three tea cups and a tea-pot and carefully put it in a tray as I waited for the kettle to boil. Ray's surprise visit was definitely a shock, not just for me but most likely for him too. Even though I wasn't found in a compromising position with my lover, it was embarrassing enough that he was greeted by a wet and half-naked unknown man. And the look on his face, when he saw me walked-in with only a robe on and fresh from shower, was priceless after he took in my wet look and put two and two together. Good thing Gavin collected his leather jacket that was lying on the floor or it would make Ray wonder what it was doing in front door.

Gavin was pretty stunned too. He surely guessed everything when Ray asked him about his 'daughter's' whereabouts and was a second away from tackling him because my Officer didn't know what to do or say, which was a rare case considering he played the role of a bad-ass sexy cop in my fantasy perfectly. And that was just a moment ago before my dad showed up at my door step.

What a bad timing for him to give a surprise visit! Well, yes it was a Sunday so he knew that Ted and I just usually stay at home. But still, he could have called first. _Check your phone, Steele. Maybe he did call while you were busy with your damn fantasy._

Geez, I knew there was nothing funny about that first meeting of the two but I couldn't hide my amusement just by remembering the embarrassed faces of us three after I quickly excused myself to dress properly. Poor Gavin was left standing awkwardly and I had to be quick to save him from my angry-looking dad. It was somehow my fault since I haven't mentioned him to Ray the last time we talked on the phone. I found it awkward to tell him that I was seeing someone. And one more reason that I was reluctant to mention Gavin was that he might go over protective of me which was understandable after the divorce with my ex. Ray was furious when he learned about what happened. I didn't tell him that my ex-husband cheated on me, he was just that smart to guess why and since I didn't deny or confirm anything.

I nearly forgot the handcuff marks on my wrists when I was about to put on a shirt. So I quickly grabbed my sweats and it was kind of proper to cover up my body in front of my dad. He would definitely think the worst when he sees the red marks. And I didn't think I have the guts to explain to him how I got them. _'Where did I get these, daddy? Oh, it's nothing. My cop boyfriend just handcuffed me to my bed and fucked me senseless. That's all.'_ No. Freaking. Way.

I took another deep breath as I made my way back to the living room. I just hoped that Gavin was still there and didn't run for the hills after I left him for the second time with my dad. After I got dressed, I found Gavin still standing awkwardly and Ray on the couch. I threw his shirt to him and quickly introduced the two and offered my dad some tea hoping it would help to calm him down a bit.

Both men looked up as I entered the room, my dad still on the couch and Gavin now occupied the single chair. I couldn't tell if he was nervous or what. As much as I would love to give him a reassuring smile, I couldn't. Not under the steel gaze of Raymond Steele. Dad was watching me closely as I pour the cups with tea. I just hoped that he and Gavin would get along after this first meeting.

"So dad, what brings you here today?" I asked tentatively as I took a sip of my tea.

"Am I not allowed to visit my daughter and grandson?" He asked in a serious tone.

I cringed, knowing well what that tone meant. "Of course you are. It's just that..."

"I delivered some crafts around the area. It was a late call last night and didn't bother to call you. I tried calling you an hour ago but there was no answer. So I just went straight here and found this man instead." Ray was always known as a man with few words but I think that changes to some certain situation just like this one we're in at the moment.

I tried to hide my flushed face by sipping my tea slowly. But I knew I have to introduce them again because it seemed that they waited for me before they have spoken to each other. "Dad let-"

"Gavin Boyle, right?" I saw Gavin sat up straight and I couldn't hide my smile from the way he was acting in front of my dad. Of course he caught that reaction of mine and took the chance to mouth 'later' to me with a dangerous but sexy look on his face when Ray took a sip of his tea. "What do you do, Boyle?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. It was so obvious that he was trying to scare off Gavin. I knew he was going to be strict but not like this. Maybe if Gavin was just some other guy without a badge he would definitely succeed with his modus operandi.

"I'm a cop. sir. I served with SFPD and got transferred to Portland Police Bureau a month ago."

"A cop, eh?" Gavin nodded and the change in Ray's tone didn't go unnoticed after hearing that. But when he gazed at me, his expression hadn't changed a bit. Come on dad, don't be too harsh on him.

"Are you originally from San Francisco?" Again Gavin just nodded. "Where are you staying here in Portland?"

I swallowed hard. I didn't know if it would be a good idea to tell my dad that my lover was just a somersault away from here. I was about to shake my head at Gavin but he ignored me and said, "I live next door, sir." Oh fuck.

Ray went still for a second but recovered quickly and continued to size Gavin up. "Neighbors, I see." He took his time and finished his tea before sitting up straight like Gavin and turned to fully face him. "I am going straight to the point, Officer Boyle. Do you know what you're doing here with my daughter?"

"Dad-" I tried to interrupt but with just one look I knew staying quiet was the best option. Geez, I felt like a teenager all over again. I have a son already for Christ's sake. And I was just right here with them.

Gavin cleared his throat first. "Yes, sir. She's very important to me and I care for her deeply." He said in a clear tone not breaking eye contact with my dad. _Just like that. Keep it up, my rogue cop!_

"Do you know she has a son?"

"Teddy, sir. And I'm very taken with that little man." He said with a smile then he turned to me with those light blue eyes showing how much he cared for my son. "He's Ana's world."

Oh my. How could he always know where to hit the right spot in my heart? They were not even talking about us. He was talking about my son. My Teddy.

Ray seemed to be taken aback with what Gavin said. Surely he was not expecting that my son and my new man already have a tight bond together. There was no doubt in Gavin's expression that he exactly knew what he was doing with me and my son.

But my dad seemed to be really serious about this and took things to the extreme.

"One last thing, Officer. Do you know I would kill for my daughter and grandson?" He said in his very rare, dangerous tone. Oh god. Did he really say that with me in the same room? The last time I heard him like this was when I broke the news of my separation with Christian.

"Dad, can we-" I tried to interrupt again but Gavin beat me to it.

"Yes, sir. And I will do the same. I'll even take a bullet for them both. I'll do everything I can to keep them safe. I know Ana and I just met, but I have this strong need to protect them. And I somehow understand your reluctance to accept any man in Ana's life again after what her ex-husband did. I won't be giving any promises, Mr. Steele but I assure you that my intentions are clean. Ana had been through alot and this time, I want to make her happy. My priorities drastically changed ever since I met her and Ted. And there's nothing I wouldn't do for them." He said in without blinking his eyes and looking straight in Ray's hard gaze.

_Oh my god. Steele, did you hear all that? You lucky bitch._

"Very well." Ray gave him a once over and a single nod. "But I will keep an eye on you, Officer." Ray said and leaned closer. "I won't make the same mistake and allow Annie to fall in the wrong hands again. Are we clear?"

"Yes, sir."

* * *

"Dad! I can't believe you did that." I said in an exasperated tone.

"Did what, Annie?" He asked innocently. Gavin excused himself after his phone rang and I was just glad I have a short time to talk with my dad alone.

I didn't stop myself from rolling my eyes at him. "You know too well what you just did."

"How did you expect me to react after being greeted by a half-naked man in your apartment, huh?"

Sighing, I reached out for his hand and squeezed it tight. "I'm sorry. You are right. I should have told you about him. I just couldn't find the perfect time to tell you and we just started seeing each other. And dad, I really like him. So please don't worry about this."

"Annie, after everything that happened, I would always worry about you. I don't want to see you broken again." He muttered in a soft voice.

"Oh daddy," I scooted closer and leaned into his shoulder. "I know you do. And I'm thankful to have you as my dad. But please trust me when I say that I'm not rushing things with Gavin. He's a good man. I'm sure you'll like him. Promise me you'll behave when he comes back."

"Annie I don't know-"

"Please, dad? For me?" I pleaded and looked up at him with puppy eyes. Well, I did try. Not sure if it was going to work.

He sighed and patted my shoulder. "Alright, alright. I just want you to be happy after everything you went through."

"Thank you and yes, I am happy and satisfied with all I have now." I muttered with a smile. After getting married with Seattle's richest man, I lived in luxury. I didn't have to worry about the money, there were securities everywhere and I could have everything I wanted. It's like all was easy back then. But not until I experienced the normal life again. I started appreciating simple things like drinking anytime I want without asking permission first. Walking around or going anywhere without anyone following me. And I could talk to anyone without having to worry if my husband would be jealous or not. I just knew that I could never get used to the luxurious life.

"Then I'm happy for you, Annie. You'll always be my baby girl and don't forget that I'm just here for you and your son." I smiled sweetly at him and kissed his cheek. "And where's Ted by the way?" He asked and shifted in his seat.

"He's at the birthday party of his friend from the day care. Tiffany and Cameron are with him and they should be home soon." I couldn't help but to smile as I remembered Tiffany's excitement this morning before they went to Jamie's party. She was a woman in a mission and dressed up for the kill. Black mini dress in a children's party? Only Tiff had the guts to do just that.

"Why did they come instead of you?" He asked curiously as he sipped his tea.

"After we learned that Jamie's father is a single dad, Tiff wants to well, you know get to know more of him so I let her go with Ted."

"I see." Dad looked amused and just shook his head. "And oh, how's your job hunting, Annie?"

"I got responses from two independent publishing houses here. One doesn't have any available positions at the moment and the other one said they'll get back with me in few weeks."

"That's good than nothing, I guess. What about the new apartment? Are you sure about moving? This place looks fine to me." He looked around at my small apartment and I knew what he was going to say next. "You know, you and Ted can just stay with me in Montesano. That way I could help you..."

I sighed. "Dad, we've already talked about this." Ray offered us to live with him in Montesano when I told him about Ted and I leaving Seattle. I considered it at first because Ted would be over the moon if we were to stay with Dad. But after thinking things through, I'd decided that it was better for me to start from scratch and didn't want to bother Ray and his peaceful life. Yes, it was the most practical thing to do at that time since I was going to be a single mother but I couldn't just rely on him and I needed to gain back my independence and learn things on my own.

"I'm just saying." He shrugged.

"Are you going to wait for Ted?" I said changing the subject.

"Yes, if you don't mind.."

"Perfect dad! You should stay until dinner. I will cook something special." I knew Ray was still living with takeouts. It would be nice for him to eat home-cooked meals once in a while.

I was now on my second round of my favorite tea and Gavin was still in the kitchen. I wonder if he was still on the phone. Maybe Ray did scare him off? No, that was not possible seeing he did make a good impression with my dad.

"I'm just going to check in on Gavin." I stood up and made my way to the kitchen. If it was an emergency call, it would be just quick and he should have been out of the door in a few.

I found him leaning on the counter, frowning and just staring at his phone.

"Hey, everything alright?" When he looked up, his frown was gone and his face turned blank.

"Yeah." I waited for him to say more but I guess a short reply was all I would get.

"Is there something wrong? An emergency?" I asked as I tentatively took a step toward him.

"Yes, I mean no. Not an emergency but I need to go back to the station." He said in a bit of a hurry and stuffed his phone back to his pocket.

"Okay." Something wasn't right. Or maybe dad did scare him off. "Gavin?"

"Yeah?" He glanced back at me but his eyes didn't meet mine. Was he upset about something?

"I'm sorry about Ray. He was just shocked to see you.."

"There's no need to apologize. I totally understand your dad. Hell, I would react just the same if you were my daughter." He sounded more like him so I took the chance and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Well, I'm not your daughter." I inhaled his spicy scent as I nuzzled my face against his chest. It took a moment for him to relax under my touch.

"No, you're not." He said in a whisper.

"Can you tell me what's bothering you?" I pulled back just enough to see his face.

He just stared at me for a few seconds and I could tell by look on his eyes that he was contemplating if he should tell me or not. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was definitely upset about something... or someone. _That could be you, Steele._

"Gavin?"

"You're moving." Oh. "I didn't mean to but I accidentally heard you and your dad talking about it."

"Yes, but not yet. Look I-"

"Are you even planning to tell me or what? Why do I feel like I'm always in the dark in our relationship? Why do I feel like you don't trust me enough with your decisions and plans?"

I took a step back but kept my hands firm on his hips. "Listen, I do plan to tell you but it's just that there was never a chance for the subject to come up and I always seem to forget about it. I apologize if-"

"No, I'm sorry. Forget it. I didn't mean to pry."

"Gavin listen first."

"I need to go. Just forget about what I've said." He shook his head and started to pull back, away from me. "Your dad is here and I don't want to ruin your day. Maybe we'll talk some other time, alright?"

I was about to say something when Teddy's voice filled the apartment. "Granpa!"

* * *

**?**

"How is she?" I asked frantically as I reached the waiting room of the hospital.

"I don't know, ma'am. They've been inside for hours now and I still don't know what's going on with my sister." The poor boy looked so lost.

"I'm so sorry that this happened to her. I never thought she could do something like... like this."

"Me too. I knew there was something wrong and I just ignored it. This is my fault."

"Now now, don't you blame yourself over this. Not until we talk to your sister and ask her the reason she would risk her life. I will be here and James too. We promised your parents that we are going to take care of you both." It had been six years since the accident that took the lives of Mary and John. We've been business partners for as long as I can remember. Leaving their teenage son and his older sister all these years and if it was my choice they should have been already a part of our family. If it weren't for...

"Thank you for coming. I didn't know who else could help us."

"It's alright. I'm going to take care of this, okay?"

I took my phone out and dialed the only person I knew who could help his sister.

* * *

A/N: First of, MASSIVE APOLOGIES for the long wait. Work is Hell. And that's the only reason for this delay. I won't let those trolls stop me from writing. I would rather focus on the huge support and love that you are all giving SS. From now on this story will be TROLL FREE :)

Second, Special shout out to xoxGemmaTxox thank you for creating an account and yes I always read/see your reviews and this last one you wrote touched my heart deeply. That kind of message keeps me going and over shadows those unpleasant comments from the previous chapters. :)

Third, Hi to May sorry if I didn't include your name the last time and to Annabelle no worries worries about your last last review. I know it wasn't your intention to offend me. :)

Welcom to the new readers! Thanks everyone for waiting xx


	35. Chapter 35

**ANA**

It was Tuesday night and I was having a girl time with Tiffany, enjoying chinese takeout on my couch. Teddy slept early today, miraculously, due to exhaustion from his all-day outdoor activity at the daycare. Since we didn't have the time to chat last Sunday after the kiddie party, she booked this night to fill me in everything that happened in the span of 4 hours being Ted's sub-mother. And I really did need some company at the moment.

Tiff and Cam stayed and joined the dinner with Ray. Thank god for those two, they did a good job entertaining my dad that made that awkward meeting with Gavin almost never happened. I did try to relax and enjoy Sunday night with my father, son and friends, but something was missing. Someone was missing. _Gavin._

I guessed that he had all the right to get pissed that I haven't told him about my plan of moving to a new apartment. He had been so patient with me ever since we met. He'd always been so sweet, caring and open to me. The things he said to Ray just made my feelings for him grew stronger and slowly removing that hard shell enclosing my heart to give it all to him. I promised myself that I should take things slow and just let my poor heart take a breather from an emotional commitment, that I shouldn't risk it to be broken again. But after that moment, it was a lost case for me. I'd really fallen for him, hard. Yes, he hadn't said those three words but instead he'd been showing how words meant nothing to actions. But how did things went from perfect to shit after that incredible Sunday we'd shared before Ray came to visit?

He did apologize, half-heartedly and said that the little misunderstanding was just nothing. But I knew that it was something for him. So after my dad left with Tiff and Cam, I sent him a couple of texts but I didn't get a reply. I tried to call him but it just went straight to his voicemail which was a first. Well, he was on duty so I just brushed off that feeling that he was ignoring me and just sent him another text to call me first thing in the morning.

But instead of a call, I just a got a text from him Monday. And up until now, I haven't seen him or even had a decent talk. I was ready to pound on his door and insist that he was overreacting. But I thought better of it. He never pushed me into an argument and he'd been always the understanding one between the two of us. Maybe this time he needed space. Looking back to that Sunday afternoon, he seemed pretty bothered after receiving that phone call. I couldn't help but think that there was something more to it and I just hoped that when he was ready to talk, he wouldn't hesitate to tell if something was wrong. Good luck to that, Steele.

"What's taking him so long to give me a call?" Tiff whined, cutting my thoughts from the past weekend.

"Tiff girl, it's just Tuesday. Maybe the single-hot-dad is just busy and might call you any minute." I said trying to cheer her up.

"I hope you're right. You should have seen how he looked at me last Sunday. I thought that he was too hot for me too." She said sighing, flipping the channels finding a decent TV show.

"Good things come to those who wait." I sipped my coke and tried to reassure her.

"Hope so... When will I be lucky like you?"

"Me? When did I become lucky?" I asked shockingly.

"Duh, you have Gavin! You minx!" She pointed a finger at me while I burst out laughing at her expression.

"Life is so unfair." She added and I just shook my head. Little did she know that I haven't seen the man since Sunday afternoon. And I still have no clue when he was going to talk to me.

I was about to say something when my phone rang.

"Hi, mom." I greeted with a forced smile.

"Ana, I'm really sorry about yesterday."

"It's okay. It was a bad time, I understand." I called my mom, Carla, yesterday to catch up with her but she was in the middle of a discussion with a client and promised to call me back as soon as she could.

"We had to finish the deal with that teenage client from Atlanta. That one was pretty demanding and took us six hours to finish everything." She was now working as an event planner while Bob built an automobile service center after resigning from his last job because of a minor accident. Nothing serious happened, he just had some bruises and cuts but he decided it was time to start his own business.

"That's good mom. I'm glad to hear that everything seems going on the right course for you and Bob."

"Oh, baby girl. I've never been so busy in my life! I even missed your call yesterday."

"Mom." I said in an exasperated tone. "It's no big deal."

"Okay, honey. How are you?"

"I-" I stopped for a bit trying to find the right words to say without giving away what I was really feeling at the moment, "Ray gave a surprise visit last Sunday."

"Then that's good. How is Ray?"

"He's.. good. He received a last minute delivery changes that led him to Portland." I paused. "And he met Gavin."

"Oh. Your hottie cop!" She squealed and I didn't stop myself from rolling my eyes. I already mentioned Gavin to her the last time we talked and I even sent her a picture.

"Mom, he met Gavin, _shirtless_." I felt Tiff jumped beside me from surprise. Since we didn't have time to chat last Sunday, she was clueless about that awkward meeting.

"Wait. What? Ray met your new man shirtless? Oh my god, Ana." Carla burst out laughing on the other line, while Tiff was giving me a 'wtf, Ana? Why didn't you tell me?' look.

I mouthed 'later' and turn my attention back to my mother. "Yes, he did mom. It was really awkward."

"I could imagine that." She said still laughing. "How did it go?"

"Oh mom, Dad almost scared Gavin off. He gave him the 'daddy talk' right in front of me."

"Well, sweetie. Ray is just being Ray. But what a wrong timing!" She said and continued laughing hysterically.

"Mom."

"Sorry, baby girl. It has been a hectic day and a good laugh is just what I need to end the day. How is my Teddy boy?" Glad that she'd changed the subject.

"He's already asleep. Think he had a blast during his outdoor activities today."

"Oh I miss you both. And I have to meet that hot cop of yours." She said, and I could tell that she was grinning in excitement to meet Gavin.

"We miss you too, mom. We can't wait to see you again."

We talked more about my job hunting and her upcoming events then said our goodbyes and promised to talk again soon or Skype. When I turned to Tiffany, she already turned off the TV and cleaned up. "Now, spill."

* * *

**GAVIN**

What a fucking day. Or should I say, fucking last few days.

After two days of non-stop police action, we'd finally caught the gang boss that the department had been tracking for months. Thank fucking god, no one got hurt during the raid. All the hard work of Lieutenant Jackson's team paid off. 24/7 monitoring, sleepless nights and perfectly planned operation, it was finally over.

Well, yes the gang problem not my personal problem. Damn. I haven't seen Ana since Sunday and I missed her like hell. The moving thing really did surprise me, even pissed me a bit but instead of asking her calmly, I acted like an ass. I was an ass, god damn it. I knew I should go and call her now but I knew it wouldn't be right. I had to do this in person and explain why I'd been MIA for the past few days. Hell, after that amazing afternoon we had then meeting her father, I'd never thought that something like this would happen. After surviving the first encounter with her dad, I fucked up.

Then there was Chloe.

I haven't called back and was really clueless to what the fuck happened to her. It was like two years since I last time saw her and she was perfectly fine back then. She looked better and happier than I have ever seen her. Her green eyes were glowing just like when I first saw her. I was seventeen back then and your typical troubled teen and I was having one of those fuck-me or fuck-off days. Georgia was out-of-town and I got no one to talk. I decided to play alone at the nearby basketball gym, then I saw her. Long legged blonde dribbling the ball like a pro. When her green eyes locked on mine, I knew it was love at first sight. Right there and then, I thought that she was an angel. My angel.

I tried to hit on her that night but she didn't even say a word to me. I came back the next day and worked pretty hard to get her name. Chloe Phillips. I couldn't take my eyes off her. I'd never seen a girl who could really play the game. So I pursued her relentlessly. I was shocked that my mom knew Chloe. It turned out that her parents and mine were doing business together. She was also the reason I got really close with my mom. I'd always thought that my mother never cared for me because I failed her so many times. But ever since Chloe and I got together, our relationship improved and I became officially a momma's boy. Everything was going well and from the troubled-getting close to being a fucked-up boy, I turned into a better person. All thanks to the women in my life. My mother, Georgia, bratty girl Melissa and of course Chloe. Though Mel being Mel, she'd never hidden her dislike of Chloe. And I also had a feeling that Georgia was just being nice because I was her only brother.

After two years of being with Chloe, I started hearing rumors about her. I was madly in love and literally blind from everything else aside from my craziness about her. First rumor was that she was cheating on me. Second, she was doing drugs. And third one was that she was a kleptomaniac. I ignored all them because I was sure people were just jealous of our relationship and was trying to break us up. There was no way that she'd cheat on me. We were always together, well aside from weekends because she said it was reserved days for family. And drugs? Impossible. The third rumor got me thinking after Georgia's pink purse went missing. She said it wasn't the first time she'd lost something from her room. She just thought that she just missed-place them but after cleaning up her room, she came up empty of the missing things. And she became suspicious of my girlfriend because she caught her leaving Georgia's room one time when I brought Chloe home. I tried to confront Chloe and told her that if it was true, we can get her help. But she got angry at me and denied everything. Then I accidentally saw cigarette packs in her purse. I'd never saw her smoke so I thought that maybe it was her friend's. My mother's birthday came and Chloe's family were invited. That night I've decided to give Chloe a benefit of the doubt. I loved her and knew she wouldn't lie to me. Then everything became clear when a close friend of mine sent a picture of Chloe smoking pot. I was livid. I went to find a private spot to call back my friend to defend my girlfriend when I caught Chloe exiting the master's bedroom. She was on the phone. Her back was on me so she didn't notice me when she said 'We've got dough for Mary Jane this weekend'. It took me awhile to get what she was talking about. But when she turned around, her expression just proved the saying that love was definitely blind.

After that incident, I didn't think twice of joining the military.

And now the big mystery, why would they need me in the hospital? Why demand me to be there for Chloe? After all these years? I had my own shit to fix first before her.

I jumped out the car and quickly headed to the apartment. I was going to take a shower first then I would go straight to the bookstore. But the white SUV parked just outside the building stopped me in my tracks.

An elegant older woman stepped out and I knew things were going to be... difficult.

"Mom?"

* * *

A/N: Okay, I know y'all probably hate me now because of the long wait again. I sincerely apologize. BUT THANK YOU THANK YOU still for waiting. THANK YOU for the massive support, REVIEWS 3000+? Wow. Just amazing. MESSAGES, yes I do read them sorry for late replies. You can send me one anytime. Those on FACEBOOK, thank you for understanding.

Sorry for the mistakes. This is a short one because I decided to delete the half of the chapter and re-write it and include for the next chapter. Thanks again! xo - Ella xx


	36. Chapter 36

**GAVIN**

"Mom, what are you doing here?"

"Is that the proper way to greet your mother who you haven't seen for almost two months now?" She arched those perfect brows at me.

"Sorry, mom. It's just that... this a surprise." I leaned down as she offered her left cheek for a kiss. "Come, I'll show you to my apartment."

It's not that I wasn't happy to see my mother. I'd actually missed her a lot. I used to have dinner with her and dad on Sundays when I was still in San Francisco. But I had a bad feeling about this. I got pretty excited when I'd received a phone call from her last Sunday. I knew it was rude to leave Ana and her Dad just to answer the phone, but when I saw that it was my mom, I didn't hesitate to take the call.

From the moment she muttered my name, I knew there was something wrong. I began to panic as the images of her or dad in an accident or some other shit that might have happened to them flooded my mind. So when she said they were fine, the relief I felt was cut off short when she mentioned Chloe being brought to the hospital.

"This place is not that bad." Amanda Boyle said, as her eyes roamed around my apartment. She'd been supportive since day one about my decision to be a police officer. She taught me a lot of things, like my love for cooking. It brought us closer together. I've often wondered why did I ignore her and her advice during my wasted teenage years.

"Mom, I just got home from an operation. Maybe you tried calling me..."

"I did. That's why I came here to find out what happened to you." She pursed her lips and frowned at me. "Gavin, I was so worried! You were not answering my calls."

"Mom, like what I've told you. I've been busy with a case and we had to turn our phones off. I am getting a new number, actually. I'm sorry if I got you worried for nothing."

"Alright, you're forgiven. But please, Gavin, at least leave us a message when something like this happens again. Your dad was worried too. I even called Georgia to check if she knew what was happening to you."

"I didn't have the chance to inform anyone about it because we had to move quickly. Take a seat, mom. What would you like to drink?"

"No, it's fine. We have to talk." Her voice turned serious as she lowered herself on the couch.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath before I settled on the opposite chair. "Is this about Chloe? Is she still in the hospital?"

"Yes, she is."

"How is she?" I asked tentatively.

"She is... unwell. Gavin, this is serious. All I'm asking is for you to check on her."

"Mom, I don't understand. Why do I have to be there? It's been awhile since the last time I saw her, and I didn't even know what happened to her and what does it have to do with me?"

"She was found unconscious and bathed in her own blood last Sunday morning by her little brother. Turned out that she cut her right wrist." Oh fuck. "She tried to kill herself."

"Why would she do that?" That shocked me. Despite of her past issues, I'd never thought of Chloe as suicidal.

"She refused to talk about it."

"Does her brother know?"

"No, he's a mess right now. He said, he knew something was up. According to him, Chloe was acting strange before it happened." What could it be?

"I'm sorry about what happened, but again what does it have to do with me?" My mom glared at me for that but I was still confused. Yes, we had a past. And I knew that my mom was somewhat looking after them for years now, since their parent's accident. I'd never understood the closeness of my mom and Chloe despite what happened between us. All I knew was that my mom had a kind heart and wouldn't think twice of helping those who were in need.

"I have an idea why she did it." I frowned and listened intently. "I've found out that Chloe and Melissa bumped into each other and had a chat last week. And I called Melissa to confirm it. It seems that she mentioned about you being in a relationship and planning to get married soon."

What the fuck?

Well yes, in a relationship, but marriage? Where did Melissa get that?

"Is it true, Gavin? Are you-"

"Yes, mom. I'm dating someone now. But no plans in getting married, yet." I saw my mom sigh in relief.

"Just what I thought. I knew Melissa was just causing trouble. That girl. Look what she did." She said in an irritated tone.

"I don't understand. So what if Melissa mentioned something about me to Chloe?"

"Gavin, you knew how much I liked Chloe ever since you brought her to our home. I've always known that she had potential. I was gravely disappointed when you broke up. I thought that you were perfect together."

"Mom-"

"She made a mistake, yes. But that doesn't mean she couldn't change." Mom scooted closer and looked me straight in the eyes. "After their parents died, she was a mess. She almost drifted back to those bad habits, but I helped her stand again. I told her about my dream of you getting back together." What? Fucking hell, I didn't expect this.

"Mom? Are you serious?"

"Please, listen first." I closed my mouth and leaned back, crossing my arms against my chest.

"That served as her motivation to finish her degree. I paid for everything, to help her and her brother. She loathed herself for taking you for granted and breaking your relationship before. She has always wanted to talk to you and ask for another chance. So she tried her best to change and hoped that when she gets to see you again, you would give her a chance to speak with you and..."

"Mom, I'm sorry to interrupt but let me say this first." I stood up. This was all a surprise for me, but as much as I loved my mother and before things got out of hand, she needed to know something important.

"Chloe is in the distant past and I don't know what deal you made with her." I took a step closer and gave her my most serious expression. "Right now, I am in love with a woman. Her name is Anastasia Steele. No one else."

**ANA**

As the elevator doors slid open, I didn't expect to see someone leaning on my apartment door. He had his arms crossed against his chest and he was staring into space. I could tell from the tension of his body that there was really something wrong. Although I was seriously curious about it, I wouldn't make things easy for him. I was the one he left hanging for three days.

He looked tired. He looked as if he hadn't had a shower for two days. He hadn't shaved and it was thicker than the bad-ass cop look he had last Sunday. But damn me to hell, he still looked like the Greek god that melted my panties. I missed him. I wouldn't deny it. Setting the confusion aside from his weird actions and disappearance along with no text or calls from the past few days, my feelings were the same.

_He better have some good explanations, Steele. You promised yourself to be a lot stronger than the old you._

I did understand that he was pissed, but the Gavin I knew wouldn't disappear for long and would have already done something to fix things between us. I was alright last night, the time with Tiff made me relax and took my mind away from the trouble between us. But I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, I'd expected to get a message or something from him but I received nothing. So I went into bitchy mode the whole day. I couldn't even manage to smile at the customers in the bookstore. Even Mury, the day care facilitator, noticed my foul mood and was wise to just give a wave hello and goodbye when I picked up Teddy just a while ago.

His eyes met mine as Teddy ran to greet him. The worried expression was quickly replaced by a small smile when Ted jumped on him and asked where he had been. I took a deep breath and pushed my feet to walk toward them. It wasn't just me who was wondering where had Gavin gone, Ted too was babbling non-stop about the promises he made for my son. The Ice Creams and zoo trip. With Teddy being his hyperactive self from seeing Gavin again, I guessed it would take a few awkward minutes or maybe hours before we could have a serious talk. Not that I was going to talk to him like nothing happened. I need to make Teddy busy and distracted to get over and done with this.

"Ana," Gavin said as I reached the door. I only glanced at him with a straight face for a second while I fished for the keys inside my purse then went to unlock the door.

"When we go zoo, Mr. Boxers?" Teddy asked. If it weren't for my son, I wouldn't even allow him to enter the apartment.

"We have to ask your mom about that, big guy." I went straight to the kitchen counter and dropped off the grocery bag I was carrying. I took this short moment to gather my thoughts and readied myself before I face Gavin again.

"Mommy!" I heard Ted say. I thought that I had a few minutes to be alone, assuming he would want to play with Gavin first. Geez, thanks Ted.

_Well, he's the one in trouble so just go face it Steele._

"What is it, Ted?" I said with smile as I moved back to the living room. I found them on the couch with my son clutching the remote control. There's the distraction my son needed.

"Zoo when, mommy? And can I watch Ben10? And Mac cwheese, pwease?"

I stepped closer and took his backpack from the floor. "We'll talk about the zoo, alright baby?" I crouched down and took off his shoes. "And yes, you watch Ben10 while I make your Mac and Cheese. Be a good boy for me." I said as I nuzzled his chubby cheeks and kissed his forehead.

"Yay! Good boy Ted!" I stood up after switching the channel to cartoon network.

Gavin was watching us closely. His light blue eyes following my every move like he hadn't seen me for years. I wasn't sure but his eyes were filled with... longing. Maybe he did miss me too... No.

Even if he did, I wouldn't give a flying horse about it. I needed to get a grip and not let myself get lost in the sight of his gorgeous self. I wouldn't let myself get taken in by his effortless charm, and I needed some answers before the end of the night and before I could decide to take this relationship seriously.

_Or if there would be any relationship between us?_ I mentally slapped myself for having such negative thoughts.

Before I headed back to the kitchen, I heard him say, "Be right back, buddy" to my son.

"Ana," He called out as I reached for the fridge. I took out the cheddar cheese and other ingredients I needed for dinner. I didn't know what to say so I just stayed silent.

"Ana," He said my name again and heard him sigh. "Guess, I deserved this." Definitely. "I have so many things to tell you. I want to start by apologizing for my rudeness last Sunday." I continued preparing by melting the butter in a saucepan. If he really wanted to do this now, he would have to be content with talking to my back. My first priority was to feed my son.

"I got really nervous when I met your father. The things I said, I meant it all, Ana. I knew I had to earn his approval in a hard way, and I'm willing to do anything. Whatever it takes." He paused, waiting for me to say anything. After I added the milk, I stirred constantly and then added the cheese. I knew how words worked for men. And this time, I needed more than words.

"I received a message from the chief and a call from my mom." I stopped for a bit as I was mixing the sauce. His mom called? "The message was about the case we were working on at the time. He needed the team to assemble and plan after getting some intel about the case. We spent the past few days at the station and a warehouse that served as a hideout to monitor the Gang boss that we're trying to catch. And finally, between four to five this morning, we caught the bastard."

"I turned off my phone after I sent you that text Monday morning after we found out that there was a mole in the team. That mole fucker was planning to get some personal information on all officers working on the case. So we didn't risk letting the gadget hacking to happen. We were also advised to changed our phone numbers after the operation, fail or not."

He remained silent after that. Well, at least it wasn't what I was thinking. He was not ignoring me at all. This was definitely one of the reasons why his past relationships didn't work. He was a cop. And cops did have a dangerous job. But that phone call with his mom was the biggest mystery here. I couldn't help but think that there was something to it.

Taking a deep breath, I turned around after I put the macaroni in a casserole dish.

He had his hands in his pocket and was staring at the floor. So the sleepless nights explained his rugged look. Call me crazy but I think even if he didn't take a shower for a week he would still look delectable and sexy as hell. Part of me wanted to erase that worried look on his face and wrap my arms around him, assure him that we're fine. Maybe it was because of my past experience of being a sucker for a sulking and brooding man and my kind instinct to forgive easily with just words. But no, I couldn't do that. Not yet. _Can't blame you, Steele. You'd experienced the worst after forgiving your cheating husband before._

Probably this wouldn't be the last time that this would happen. He could have more dangerous operations in the future, that would cause again a disappearing act that would leave me definitely crazy. Would I risk my heart again and involve myself with someone who had his life on the line every time he was on duty? Could I survive those nights when I wouldn't be sure if he would come out alive from a police operation? Could I take a risk and get my son involved deeply with someone who might not even stay with us for years?

There were just too many questions in my head right now and I knew that tonight wasn't the right time for me to say anything other than to listen.

So I just stared at him, passively waiting.

When his light blue eyes met mine, I tightened my grip into the counter to stop myself from running into his arms and kissing him 'til we lose our breaths. There was no doubt about it, the strong sexual pull between us was never a question in our relationship.

"Ana, I'm sorry for being an ass about the moving thing. I know it was your decision to make and it wasn't my intention to control you or anything. I just wished that you can trust me enough to support you with every single thing you do." He closed his eyes for a bit and sighed. "I am not going to waste your time anymore. Would you mind if I stay for few minutes to watch TV with Ted? Then I'll go back to my apartment. I've missed you both."

_I missed you too..._

"And I just want you to know that I... I," He paused. "I-I'll be here, anytime. Thank you for listening." He nodded at me and turned to walk away.

I watched his retreating back. I closed my eyes and asked myself. Did I handle it right?

* * *

The next morning, I felt a little better and relieved after thinking back of the events of the previous night. Gavin was back. He'd apologized for being an ass and explained his absence for few days. At least he knew that I wouldn't just jump into his arms that easy. And he didn't push himself on me. He was giving me time, just like the Gavin I knew.

_He's back._

I was somewhat proud of myself for not losing control last night. I stood my ground and didn't fall into his arms the second he said sorry. Maybe it was something that I needed to prove myself after a year of being a single woman again. I wouldn't let any man manipulate me again with words. I had to fight the compassionate part of me and do things my way. Not just with my relationships but in every aspect of my life.

But I couldn't help this feeling of… I didn't know exactly, maybe excitement building inside me? Even though I had no idea what would happen next. What would he do next? Was he going to give up? No. My Mr. Boxers wouldn't just–

I heard the familiar ping of my phone and wondered who would send me a text message this early morning. Maybe Tiff? I rolled to the bedside table and grabbed my phone.

Unknown number. Who could this be?

_Good morning, Ana. I hope you don't mind me sending you a message. This is my new number. Just want you to be the first one to know. Have a good day. - Mr. B_

Oh. Speaking of the devil. The man who had been occupying my thoughts. Well, it was sweet of him to make me the first one to know about his new number. Should I text him back? _A morning greeting is not enough, Steele._

I stared at my phone and re-read the message for ten times before I shuffled out of bed and made my way to the bathroom with a smile.

I waved back to Al and settled myself behind the counter. I was checking the new books that would arrive today when my phone buzzed.

_Hey, it's me again. Hope you are well? I apologize if I'm disturbing you at work. I just couldn't stop thinking about you and it's driving me crazy. Just tell me to stop and I won't bother you again with my silly messages.. - Mr. B_

I smiled like a loon. This was getting interesting. Driving him crazy, eh? Let's see how this would turn up.

There was another text from him an hour later.

_Hi, I am off today and I'm wondering if it's alright to cook you and Teddy dinner for tonight. Or if you aren't free, maybe tomorrow? - Mr. B_

Now he was using his sexy cooking skills. Damn, he knew my weaknesses.

After five minutes, he sent one again.

_Hey, the offer is up anytime. You don't have to be obligated to reply. I hope you are reading my messages... I miss you. - Mr. B_

God, how could I stand all this sweetness from him? How long could I resist my sexy sweet man?

Then another one came in before lunch.

_Ana, I keep staring at your picture on my bedside table. I can't take my eyes off you. Sorry if I sound like a stalker, but I can't help it. I love your sweet smile. - Mr. B_

What? Since when did he have a picture of me? The last time I'd been in his room, I didn't notice anything.

Another text after lunch.

_You're so beautiful. I miss your smile, your laugh. I miss everything about you, my lady. God, I would do anything just to hear you laugh or you see you smile right now. - Mr. B_

The teenager who just bought a complete set of The Twilight Saga must think I was one crazy woman for grinning so hard.

And another text an hour later.

_Damn, even playing my Xbox is making me bored as fuck. I think I'd rather lay down and think back of that Sunday afternoon. Just remembering how sexy you are in my cuffs is making me hard as a rock. Ana, you're so fucking sexy. I could still taste you and smell your sweet sexy scent in my bed. - Mr. B_

I blushed furiously and got weird looks from Al and the other customers near the counter. _Geez, I'm going to kick him in the nuts when I see him!_

After just a minute or two, my phone buzzed again. If this was another raunchy text, I swear he wouldn't be getting laid anytime soon.

_Shit. Ana. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have sent that one. Damn, forgive me. It's inappropriate of me. Fuck. Please just ignore it. I'm so sorry. - Mr. B_

I stifled a laugh because people around me would definitely think I was going crazy. Oh Gavin. He was being horny and sexy one moment then shifting back to being cute the next second. God, that man.

That bored-with-his-Xbox thing was a big surprise. Wow, was it the end of the world or what? Boys and their toys never get bored of each other. _Duh, don't you get it? He'd rather be with you than anything else in the world, Steele._

Few more texts before five rolled on the clock.

_Hello. I hope you are not mad at me anymore. I mean from that text message. I hate seeing you upset, actually. I want to make you happy. You and Ted. I guess I'm a big failure in than part, huh? - Mr. B :(_

_Hey, I am thinking about taking you and Teddy to Legoland California. Well, just wishing if I could. Ted would definitely love the place. I bet a hundred bucks that he can explore the whole park in record time. - Mr. B :)_

_Ana... I miss you. So damn much. - Mr. B_

"Bye Al. See you tomorrow!" I waved to the bookstore owner and made my way across the street. I still had this silly smile on my face as my son charged like a bull toward me. Oh Teddy.

"Hi Ana. Your boy behaved just fine the whole day." Mury smiled at me. Maybe she had this secret mood sensor and figured out that my murderous mood was gone for today.

"Thank you, Mury. Ted say good bye now." My baby boy waved excitedly and said our goodbyes to Ms. Facilitator.

As we round the corner down the street, it didn't surprise me to see the sole reason of my heavenly mood today. Gavin was leaning casually with his back against the passenger door of his shiny Range Rover. He had his signature white v-neck shirt and ripped jeans on. He looked clean and fresh compared to last night's tired-looking Gavin but he hadn't shaved. His jaw was still framed with thick stubble. He still looked rugged. And seriously hot. I would bet that he was melting every woman's panties around the area at this very moment. Including mine. He should be banned illegal in public's view.

_Wipe that drool off your face, Steele. And keep walking, you're looking like a bitch in heat._

How did he do it? Yesterday I was seriously pissed at him. I put my defenses up and refused to talk to him last night. I succeeded in ignoring and took every ounce of my self-control and hardened my fragile heart. How did he turn things around and managed to get pass all of my resistances that fast?

I didn't notice that my son was already out of my grasp as Gavin crouched down and gave him a stick of candy.

"So," I raised an eyebrow at him before he could speak, "where are the flowers and chocolates? Don't tell me a stick of candy is all you have considering you've got some balls to come all the way here to woo me?"

His grinned playfully, wasn't sure if he sensed the amusement in the tone of voice. "Woo you? No, my lady." he stepped closer, crowding my personal space. "I came here to claim you." He whispered in a husky voice.

Oh dear.

* * *

**A/N:** Hello! It's been the longest wait ever. And I apologize for that. I won't make work as an excuse again but you know it's the only reason for the massive delay, right? I'm really sorry if some of you are getting impatient and disappointed about the lack of updates. I even lost some followers/readers. Real life gets in the way and I can't do anything about that.

**Hope you guys are still with me?** **Are you still with Strong Steele?** xx Thank you, thank you thank you for the massive support and the Reviews and new Follows and faves. Please don't think that I don't appreciate all of it because I do.** So freaking much. **

Special thanks to Bex masonmummy2011 for the help. Hope this chapter is worth the wait. x

P.S. I might include a lemony goodness next chapter.


	37. Chapter 37

THURSDAY NIGHT

The drive back to the apartment was loud and short. Apparently, my son learned something new to sing courtesy of his friend Jamie and the other kid named Chris from the day care. He said that it had to be the three of them to sing it but he sang it anyway to give us a sample. My Teddy kept singing about bananas until Gavin pulled into the parking lot of the apartment. He kept our fingers laced together on my lap the whole time.

_I came here to claim you_

God, I could still feel my face flushing. The bastard knew his effect on me and kept that _'I will devour you, soon'_ look every time he glance at me. My plan was to make him earn every single thing but when he touched me, my head spun and my insides clenched. An electric jolt went straight to my core. Suddenly, all that beg-first-before-sex plan evaporated and I just wanted him to kiss me and hold me tight. Geez, I missed him and wanted him so bad. I had butterflies in my stomach the whole day after all those texts from him. _You're acting like a teenager, Steele. Get a grip will you?_

Gavin opened the door for me and helped me climbed out of the car. He kissed the back of my hand and winked before he let it go to unbuckle my son. My ever-loving knight.

"I want ice-cream!" Teddy shouted as Gavin scooped him up to his arms effortlessly like my son weighed nothing.

"Aye, aye Captain Ted!" He said with a salute. I just shook my head with a silly grin again on my face because the two looked so cute together. He was so good and natural with my son. I wondered how he did it. Did he have some past experience like an ex with a child too? I shook off the thought in my head because somehow I couldn't picture Gavin like this with anyone else. He was just so sweet and caring. Call me selfish but I wanted him all to myself and my son.

These days, I could bet that it was hard to find a person like him that could care this much.

During lunch time today, I thought about everything that happened since Sunday afternoon till last night. I perfectly understood now the sudden disappearance because of the danger of his job, and of course I was glad and relieved that he was safe. And after all the thinking I did, a little part of me felt that I acted like a heartless bitch last night. But a bigger part of me still think that he should have at least left a note.

I headed straight to the kitchen and left the boys in the living room.

_Which is better, Steele? Gavin telling you about his dangerous operation and left you being sick worried about him for three long days? Or the one he did by not telling you any about it, unintentionally, and left you thinking that he was pissed and was just avoiding you?_

Geez. Confusing question. But one thing's for sure; neither was better.

"Ana?" Gavin said, snapping me out of my crazy thoughts.

"Yeah?"

He handed me a piece of paper and I couldn't help but laugh. "I asked Ted what flavors he wanted and wrote that." He shrugged and gave me a warm smile.

Teddy loved to draw and write, so sometimes I let him write a list of the things we needed to buy at the grocery store. No wonder he made a list of his favorite ice cream flavors. The funny thing was not just his big and curvy handwriting, also the spelling of the words. He spelt strawberry 'Strobery' and blueberry 'Blubery' with inverted Ys and cheese 'Cwhees' somewhat the same with the way he pronounce the word.

"He's so..." He trailed off, trying to find the best word to describe my baby boy.

"Cute." I filled in easily and smiled sweetly.

"Yes, he is." He agreed with that boyish smile that I hadn't seen for awhile.

The moment our eyes locked, I almost melted. _God, he's gorgeous._ His smile disappeared when I automatically licked my lips and his light blue eyes turned from playful to… dangerous. _Oh my_. I swallowed twice as he took two long strides forward, and soon our faces were just inches apart.

My lips slightly parted at the first contact of his knuckles to my cheek. Slowly caressing, his fingers traced my lower lip as he leaned closer, drowning me with his spicy scent. He closed his eyes and ran his nose along mine, making me grip his ripped biceps for support as I felt myself shaking with desire to kiss him, to feel his expert tongue on mine.

So when his tongue did a quick stroke on my upper lip. I nearly convulsed. Oh fucking my.

"Ana," He whispered and opened his eyes. His light blue orbs overflowing with need, pure unadulterated lust and... something else I couldn't describe. "You taste so sweet."

His strong and warm hands cupped the back of my head and slowly brought my lips closer...

"Mr. Boxers!" A voice rang so loud in my ears. "My ice cream!"

Oh geez. Teddy!

Gavin chuckled and brought our foreheads together. "Your son has the best timing in the world." A swift kiss on the lips, he whispered. "Later."

And with that he walked out and left me wanting for more.

After tucking my dead-to-the-world son into bed, he was so beat that his Skyping time with his father was cut short, I made my way back to the kitchen where my new sexy house help was busy cleaning the dishes. He did cook us a Chinese-American style dinner. It was heaven. When he came back after buying the ice cream for my son, he also brought in some grocery bags complete with fresh noodles, roast duck, long beans, tofu and dumplings. He even made a winter melon soup! Gavin's cooking skills were simply amazing. Seriously, who wouldn't fall for him?

I offered to help but the cop-that-could-pass-as-a-chef just shooed me away and when I insisted, since I thought he needed a hand, he threatened to fuck me there and then so I retreated back to the couch and watched TV with my baby boy. I didn't want to test him because I knew he wouldn't think twice in doing it. Geez, that man. He then played with Ted after feeding us and helped with my son's bath.

And when I peeked into the living room, it was tidy and clean. Teddy's toys were put aside neatly and the TV was turned off. He was doing everything! Oh Gavin.

If this was his way of wooing, then there was no need to give him points anymore. He was just too much. He was just... perfect. For me and my son.

_And he deserves more from you, Steele._

"So," I said as I leaned back to the counter, watching him to the side, "are you done yet, Mr. Chef slash Mr. House helper?"

He laughed and glanced at me with a wink. "Almost done, Ms. Steele."

"You know, you're exceptionally good at this. Are you for hire?"

"I am quite expensive if you're thinking about it." He said playfully.

"Oh?"

"If you don't have enough money, Ms. Steele I could make an exception and let you pay me with something else." He muttered while drying his hands with a cloth.

"Pay you with what?" I asked curiously.

He then turned to face me and eyed me from head to toe. His gaze lingered on my breasts and suddenly the air became warmer and his eyes turned a shade darker.

"Sex. Ten times a day, seven days a week." He said in a serious tone.

My eye widened at his boldness and smacked him in the chest. "You pervert!"

He caught my hand and pulled me by the waist, laughing. "What? It's a great deal." He grinned and wagged his eyebrows at me.

"Ten times a day? What are you, a machine?"

"Wanna try me?"

I tried to push him back but no such luck. "Go away, perv."

He just chuckled and pinned me against the counter, his arms circling around my waist.

"Do you want me to go?"

"No." I shook my head and reached for his face. His thick stubble rough against the palm of my hand.

He leaned into my touch and look me in the eyes. "Am I forgiven?"

Slowly, I moved my fingers and traced his jaw line, his lips, his nose and ran my other hand through his hair down to his neck. I could feel his pulse quickening, his erection hard against my stomach.

I pulled his head down and bit his lower lip. "Kiss me."

He let out that sexy growl and crashed his lips into mine. His lips were urgent and full of need. I opened for him, accepting everything he was giving. He thrust his tongue inside, writhing and powerful. He grunted as his hand roamed down my back to my bottoms and squeezed. I moaned, pressing into him, clutching at his broad shoulders. We kissed and tangled our tongues together for a breathless, heart-pounding minute or so.

"Ana." He muttered, catching his breath.

"Is this now the 'claim me' part?" I slipped a hand under his shirt, tracing his hard abs and bit my bottom lip. "Because I'm getting impatient waiting-

He silenced me with a hard kiss and the next thing I knew he was lifting me onto the counter, his hands greedily fondling my breasts through my shirt. I wrapped my legs around his waist and kissed him back with the same fervor.

When he pulled back, he helped me out of my clothes leaving me in my matching black lace bra and panties. He eyed my body with burning desire in his eyes. I reached for the hem of his shirt and quickly pulled it over his head, throwing it aside. I placed my hands to his chest, enjoying the feel of his hard muscles slightly quivering under my touch. He groaned then pulled me back for a searing kiss.

"Here?" I asked breathlessly.

"Here." He slid a finger between my legs and traced my wet folds through my soaked panties. "Fuck, Ana. I want you so bad."

"Then hurry." I said as I stroked him through his jeans. God, he was rock hard.

"Stop." He caught my wrist and pressed a wet kiss on the palm of my hand. "I won't last if you do that."

Gavin smiled that sexy sweet smile as I made a small whimper of protest. He captured my lips again, the kiss turning hard and rough showing how hungry he was for me. He then tugged my panties down and begun teasing as his hand moved up slowly, caressing my inner thighs. I tried to reach for his fly again but he surprised me by suddenly slipping two fingers deep inside, causing me to moan loudly. He brushed his thumb over my clit and felt my legs started to shake. His other hand slid up my back and with one swift motion, he unclasped my bra. He immediately grabbed my nipples and twisted them, pinching the sensitive flesh. It was deliciously painful, little shivers of pleasure shot through me.

His mouth released mine, seeking my throat, down to my breasts. I gasped as he started to suck and lick my nipples and wiggled against him. My fingers were in his hair, tugging on him urging him on.

"Oh God. Gavin. Please don't stop."

I could feel my climax building faster as he continued his assault with his fingers sliding up and down my slick folds. His thumb rubbing circles a little harder against my clit causing me to moan his name louder. He thrust his fingers faster, harder and when he bit down on my nipple more harshly, I moaned and let go.

He lifted me off the counter and kissed me. "I don't have a condom with me."

It took me a moment to register what he was trying to say.

"I left my wallet. I need to go get one, can you stay here-"

"It's okay." I kissed his jaw and reached for his belt. "I'm on the pill."

He cupped my cheek and gazed at me with his eyes burning with desire. "Are you sure? I'm clean but I could get the-"

I cut him off with a kiss as I fumbled with his belt, unbuttoned his jeans and pushed my hand into his boxers.

"I'm sure." I grabbed his cock, slowly rubbing up and down. "Please."

He growled and spun me around so my back was to him. His lips found mine as he stroked over my breasts, caressing, flicking his thumbs over my hard nubs. I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him greedily, arching my back to push my breasts to his warm exploring hands, urging him on.

"I'm going to take you from behind. Do you want that?"

"Yes."

"This time, no more barrier. Just you and me." He bent me over the counter and grabbed me by the waist, the tip of his hard cock teasing my hot wet core, rubbing my clit again and again.

He nipped my neck, licking and biting his way to that sensitive part of my ear. "I am going to taste you, but not right now. I want to be inside you. All of me." And with that he thrust forward, hard and deep, filling my dripping core in one stroke. Staying deep inside me, he tugged my head back and leaning forward, sucked and bit his way down my throat. As my heart beat faster, he sucked against my pulse, his lips and bare cock sending delicious flames through my body.

"Oh, Ana. You're so wet. So fucking tight." He pulled back and thrust in deep again. Holy fuck, he's so big. "Can you feel me? Can you feel me so fucking hard for you?" His low voice came to my ears in a sexy rumble, spurring my arousal even more.

He picked up the speed and all I could do was to moan as his thrust grew faster and harder. I couldn't speak. My body was shaking with his powerful thrusts. My walls tightening against his thick, hard shaft pounding in and out of me at a pace I didn't think existed. He kept thrusting, his breath coming out in short panting gasps to match mine, his groans deep and low. I knew I wouldn't last, my second orgasm building up so fast.

He pulled out and I gasped as I did a small squirt then he pushed back inside, pounding even harder. I met his strokes while his fingers rubbed my aching clit then after a few more thrusts, I cried out as my body spasmed and exploded.

The powerful orgasm sent me nearly to sleep when I felt him pulled his cock out, now slick and dripping with my juices.

"Gavin?" Spreading my cheeks wide, I felt his fingers dipping into my soaked folds and dragging my juices up and around that hole from my behind. Oh my god.

"Sshhh. I got you, my Ana." With one hard slow thrust, a finger pushed into my behind, causing me to clench hard and cry out. It had been a long time since I had been taken from that hole.

"Okay?" He asked and all I could do was to nod as he plunged his huge cock back inside me. He started in a slow rhythm, running his fingertips down my back, helping and waiting for my body to relax from the double penetration.

"Fuck, Ana."

I couldn't stay still. My hips wriggling against him, his cock started to swell inside me. His thrusts became faster again, bringing me closer to another orgasm. My body shaking again under his powerful thrusts. Grabbing my shoulders he pounded hard against me, over and over, until I felt him stiffen inside.

"Come with me, my lady." And with that, I moaned loudly and came again, quivering against the cold counter. He cried out, cumming deep inside me, hot spurts filling my insides. Leaning forward, he placed his head against the small of my back, our breathing ragged and bodies trembling.

Gavin recovered first. He pulled me back up against him and spun me around, hugging me close to him.

I snuggled against his chest with my eyes closed, listening to the fast beat of his heart. I doubt that I could walk after all that. It was amazing. Our first time without the condom was just extraordinary. The little anal play did surprise me but in a good way. I enjoyed it. I wasn't expecting it but boy it made me come so hard that I couldn't even talk.

"Are you alright?" He kissed my hair, his hand sliding up and down my back. Soothing, comforting me.

"Hmm." Was all I could say.

With a delicious low laugh, he carried me into his arms and kissed the tip of my nose. "Don't sleep on me yet, beautiful. I have something to tell you."

* * *

Tiffany stood up and raised her lemon drop martini.

"Here's to the luckiest single mother in the world with a smoking hot sex life, Ana. Cheers!"

Cam stood too joining Tiff as they clinked their glasses, urging me to join them. Thank god for the loud music, that announcement that Tiff made was just too embarrassing if some other people would hear it. We're having a Fun Martini Saturday Night according to Tiff, celebrating Cam's single life and his 'still locked and secured' virginity. Geez, there were just weird like that. And after I filled Tiffany in about how Gavin wooed me, she made it a double celebration.

Grace was early this morning and she looked very excited to spend the weekend with her grandson. It didn't surprise me that it wasn't Kate who picked up Teddy, Ava was sick since yesterday so Grace happily volunteered to come and get my son. Gavin was working double again but kept sending those texts every hour like he didn't have any important thing to do like chasing and catching the bad guys around the city. Geez, that man.

He finally told me about the reason his mother called last Sunday. I was ready to sleep after the three mind-blowing orgasms Thursday night when he blurted out that his Mom paid him a visit Wednesday afternoon. He told me not to worry about everything that was happening with his ex-girlfriend in San Francisco. But of course, I was worried. Why was his Mom so desperate to push Gavin to see his ex? Why would she think Gavin would still want to get back together with someone he hadn't seen for years?

Tiff sat down beside me. "Alright, Anastasia Steele. Now is the time that you should share how huge your man is." I nearly choked on my drink.

"What?"

"You can't keep us in the dark forever, woman." Tiff said and finished up her second drink.

This woman could definitely drink.

"Please, Ana. I'm dying here." Cam added, giving me his puppy eyes.

I rolled my eyes at them and gave up the fight. If you could call refusing to share your man's size a fight, then yes.

"He's huge." I said.

Tiff raised an eyebrow at me. "Sweetie, we already know that fact. We need the exact measurement." She enunciated each word slowly. Cam, in the other hand, nodded his head approvingly. Oh geez.

I looked around and saw an empty bottle of Budweiser in the nearby table. I stood up and borrowed the bottle from the two guys occupying the table. They looked familiar so I glanced back and recognized them as the two officers that Gavin was once with.

I took my seat and placed the bottle in front of Tiff and Cam. "There." I said and crossed a leg, taking a sip of my lemon drop martini.

Cam looked so confused while Tiff stared at the bottle then gazed back to me, to the bottle again then back at me. Her eyes widened the moment she realized what the bottle was for.

"This?" She asked, pointing to the bottle and I just nodded.

"Are you serious?" I nodded again, and I tried to hold back my laugh as Cam's jaw dropped, finally getting my answer.

"This thick and long?" I finally gave in and laugh at their shocked and amazed expressions.

"Oh. My. God. Ana!" Cam and Tiff both squealed, fanning themselves like they couldn't breathe.

"You lucky bitch." Tiff stole my martini and polished it in one drink.

"Hey! That was my martini." I just shook my head, still laughing.

Cam downed his second drink too and stood up. "We need more drinks!"

Thirty minutes later, we started this new game Tiffany made out last Tuesday during our girl time called 'Drippy Vaginas and Sleepy Vaginas'. I still end up laughing hard whenever I try to say the words. How did Tiff come up with those names? God only knew.

We were going to categorize every man who would step at the bar and order a drink. The hot ones would go to the 'Drippy Vaginas' and the not-so good looking ones would fall to the 'Sleepy Vaginas'. So far there were only two on team Drippy and five on team Sleepy.

"Okay, here's another one girls." Cam said as we turned to look at the new guy who sat on the far side of the bar.

"A cowboy!" We all looked closer, trying to see what was hidden under that black Stetson. And when the cowboy turned in our direction, we all said 'Drippy!' at the same time and giggled.

"God, he's so hot!" Tiff said and took a sip of her fourth martini.

"I think I just came." Said Cam, openly ogling the cowboy at the bar.

Tiff and I burst out laughing at his reaction. "And please wipe that drool off your face, Camy."

"He looks a lot like Brad Pitt." I said, lifting my gaze back to the cowboy.

"Oh you're right!" Cam added excitedly. "And I love Brad!"

"I fucking love Brad Pitt! You, back off." Tiff pointing a finger at Cam.

"Hey, I love him too!" I chimed in and laugh at their murderous expression.

"So," A deep voice came from the side and we all looked up, "you're all in love with the same guy, I suppose?"

Gavin! He's here! I thought he was working tonight? Though surprised, I had to hold back myself from jumping on him. I missed him all day.

_Calm down, teenager Steele_.

"Hey. I didn't notice you there." Both Cam and Tiff waved hello at him.

"Well, you were busy eyeing some other guy." He said, giving a pointed look at the cowboy.

"We were just..." I trailed off and glanced at Tiff and Cam giving them a 'help me' look.

"I asked Ana if that guy looks like Brad Pitt." Tiff said in a sing-song voice.

"Yeap, she did." Cam added.

Gavin just nodded and planted a swift kiss on my temple. "I'll drink with the guys for a bit." He joined the two other officers from the nearby table and seated with his back to us.

What was that?

Tiffany shook her head. "Uh oh. Someone is jealous."

* * *

A/N: Hello! Feeling a lot better now. Sorry for the errors.

Thank you guys! Happy Weekend xx


	38. Chapter 38

Cameron came back with my fourth martini and would be fifth drink for him and Tiffany. It had been half an hour since Gavin arrived and not once he looked back or checked in on me. Was he really jealous? Seriously? I didn't even talk to the guy. Or maybe not. It was just so not him. We've been together for more than a month now and I'd never seen him jealous, well except for a few times he and Christian were in the same room. Other than that, he'd never been like this to any other man.

_Talk to your man and ask, Steele._

Even with his back to me, I could see that he was enjoying this down time with the two other officers. Maybe I was thinking too much of this. Maybe he just wanted to catch up with the guys. He was having the same beer, the Budweiser, the one I shamelessly compared with his size. Geez. That harmless bottle of beer would never look the same.

Cam and Tiff were having a fierce discussion of who was the hottest guy on our drippy list.

"The guy with the dragon tattoo." Tiff said.

"No." Cam shook his head. "The cowboy."

"My guy has the biggest dick." Tiff raised her chin, challenging Cam.

"How did you know?" Cam asked suspiciously.

"I felt it."

"What?" Cam and I asked in unison. "How? When?"

"When I went to get our drinks a while ago, I bumped my hips into his crotch. I swear, he's huge!" Tiff giggled like a teenager. Geez, I wasn't surprised she did that.

"No." Cam shook his head again, disagreeing. "I'm still not convinced. What if my cowboy is bigger?"

"Then go see if he's bigger."

"How will I do that?"

Tiff shrugged. "If you can't prove it then I win."

"Hey, that's unfair!" If I wouldn't stop these two right now, they could on forever like this.

Amused by the fierce exchange, I stood up and reached for my purse. "Hey, I'm going to the restroom."

"I'll come with you." Tiff turned to Cam and gave him a flying kiss. "Stay here, Camy baby." She teased.

"Go away, Fany honey." He rolled his eyes at Tiff, who just laughed as we walked away from the table.

"Seriously, you guys." I said as we strolled in the empty restroom.

"So, Mr. Hot cop is still jeal?" I opened my purse and reapplied my lipstick.

"Afraid so. I didn't know he was coming. Such a bad timing."

"I'll tell him that we were just playing the 'Drippy and Sleepy Vaginas' game." She teased and laugh at my horrified expression.

"God, Tiff. You're going to give him a heart attack."

"I'm just kidding." She winked and turned back to the mirror to fix her hair. "Is he the possessive type?"

"Actually, no. This is the first time he went jeally like that."

"Really? I got this image that most cops are alpha male. You know, the possessive type when it comes to their woman." She said in a curious tone.

"He's really protective but not possessive. That's one of the things I love about him." I sighed. He was so unlike Christian. Gavin and I never had an argument about a man who wanted in my pants. Which was the exact opposite when I was still married to Christian. At first it wasn't that bad and I found it kind of thrilling that he was that into me. But I'd realized that it wasn't healthy to any kind of relationship.

"Have you told him yet?"

I frowned. "Told him what?"

"That you love him." She said like it was a natural thing to say.

"I-," I thought of denying it but Tiff somehow sensed it and cut me off.

"It's in your eyes, girl. The same thing with Gavin, your eyes light up when you see each other. Like there's some spark or firework, I don't know how to explain. It's like a lovers thingy." She said waving off her hand.

"Don't tell me you haven't been in-love?"

"What? No. I mean, yes but-," She placed a hand on her hips and glared at me. "Hey! You're changing the subject."

I laughed and made my escape back to our table.

"Ana!" Cam called out as soon as he saw me.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked as I took a seat beside him.

"What's the matter?" Tiff asked when she noticed Cam's worried expression too.

"Remember the british guy I used to date?" We both nodded. "He's here!"

"What? Where?" Tiff and I glanced around trying to locate the mysterious British guy who almost shagged Cam.

"Right there." He pointed a finger at the bar and there was a tall guy with brown hair wearing a suit with a red tie. He was talking to a blond man... wait.

"He's not that bad, Camy. Tall and hot." Tiff said, approving the physical attributes of the British guy. "If he didn't cheat on you, I would have included him on team drippy."

"Is that Gavin?" I looked closely because there was someone blocking my view of the two at the bar.

"Yeap. Looks like he knows my Gavin, I mean your hot cop and shamelessly flirting with him!" Cam muttered angrily and downed the rest of his martini.

"Flirting?" If I wasn't curious to why Gavin was with the British dude, I would have made a comment for that 'my Gavin' statement.

Tiff, on the other hand, didn't miss it and mouthed 'In your dreams' to Cam.

"I know how he flirts. Look at how he smiles at Gavin. I think your man needs to buy a gay radar."

"Yeah, Gavin doesn't seems to notice. His gay smile looks creepy to me." Tiff added.

The way the british guy smiled at Gavin did look creepy. From afar, the two looked just like normal guys having conversation about guy stuff. But my man looked stiff and uncomfortable and I knew he was just being polite and not wanting to be rude to the other. It wasn't that I was jealous or anything, but that british dude cheated on Cam and now he was trying to hit on my man. Someone had to put him into his place.

_Go get your man, Steele!_

"Ohmidgod, Ana! He's going to touch Gavin!" Tiff exclaimed and I quickly turned back to the two. The British guy placed a hand on Gavin's right shoulder while laughing. The gesture seemed pretty innocent and normal but when he slid his hand down to Gavin's bicep, everything went red.

I stood up and made my way to the bar.

"Go Ana!" I wasn't even sure who shouted that because I was so focused on killing two birds with one stone. First, cheating on my friend. Second, touching my man.

I stopped in between the two and noticed Gavin's questioning look. I smiled sweetly at the British guy and said "Excuse me" before I leaned in and ordered a shot of Jose Cuervo.

"I'm sorry, Miss. Do we know you?" The guy asked with his smooth accent.

I waited for my drink and glanced at Gavin who was looking confused but kept his mouth shut.

I downed the tequila then turned to face the British guy. "Who am I?" He nodded curiously. "Watch."

I stepped back, grabbing Gavin's front shirt and pulled him down for a kiss. I plunged my tongue inside of his, not caring for the people who could be watching around us. Gavin let me control the pace as I took my time savoring and tasting his lips and tongue. I ran a hand through his hair, tugging them hard. That seemed to set him on fire and took control of kiss. He grabbed my hips as he sucked, nipped and licked, almost fucking me with his tongue. When he pulled away, I had to grab his arms to balance myself after that earth-shattering kiss.

"Gavin." I whispered, suddenly turning shy as I noticed the cheer from the mini crowd that had formed around the bar. I was also painfully aware of his massive erection poking against the fabric of his jeans.

I looked up through my lashes and gasped at what I saw. His light blue eyes turned a shade darker, dangerously burning with carnal desire. Oh fucking my.

_Steele, you just unleashed the sexy beast. You're in deep shit trouble, girl._

"Let's go home." He said with a low growl. I'd heard of this tone before, the one he used as the bad cop in my fantasy. Sending my knees weak, pulling my body to submission.

He was about to turn us around when I put a hand on his hard chest. "Wait."

Before I get lost to the strong sexual pull, I twisted around to the stunned British guy with his mouth still hanging wide open. "Sorry for being rude. By the way, I'm Ana. Officer Boyle's girlfriend." I gave a small wave and a fake sweet smile. "See ya!"

I grabbed Gavin's arm and made our way back to Tiff and Cam, leaving the British guy with his jaw on the floor. The two gave me a standing ovation, clapping their hands excitedly like I won a prestigious award.

"Ana, that was epic!" Cam jumped like a five-year old.

"The look on his face was priceless! Good job, girl." Tiff added, smiling proudly at me.

We noticed that the lad was looking straight at us now and the recognition in his eyes was so clear when his gaze landed on Cam. He paled and nodded when I waved at him. Tiff and Cam did a small cheer when we he left hastily, like he'd seen a ghost.

"I thought we're going home?" Gavin pulled me closer to him and I almost forgot that I awoken a sexy beast and was growing impatient beside me.

"Okay, we need to get our victory drinks!" Tiff stood up, winking at me as she pulled Cam with her.

"Ana." Gavin whispered in my ear as he drew me closer to him.

I cupped his cheek, loving the light stubble that grazing the palm of my hand. "Are you still jealous?"

He scowled and pulled back a bit. "I wasn't jealous."

I chuckled and kissed the tip of his nose. It was written all over his face but I could tell he would never admit it. Men.

"You're the ignore-the-woman type when you're jealous, eh?" I teased, letting him know that I wasn't buying the 'I wasn't jealous' statement.

He let out a defeated sigh. "Guess I just didn't expect to hear you say that you're already in love with someone else when I haven't seen you all day." He leaned in to my touch and closed his eyes. He looked so tired. "I missed you."

So it was the L word that sent him to jealousy. "We were just messing around, silly."

"Let's go home."

"Did you come here without sleeping first?" He just gave me a tired nod but I knew sleep was the last thing on his mind right now. "One last drink, okay?" I said, running a hand through his hair and leaned in for a swift kiss.

Tiff and Cam came back with three lemon drop martini and a beer for Gavin.

"What was that all about anyway?" Gavin asked curiously, glancing back and forth to the three of us.

"You didn't like that kiss?" Tiff said, raising an eyebrow at my Mr. Boxers.

"Not that I'm complaining..." He met my gaze, giving me that wicked grin. I blushed furiously, suddenly feeling shy and embarrassed of that very public display of affection.

"It was so hot! I swear, it was the longest tongue action I've ever seen in my life!" Cam muttered while fanning himself.

"Damn, Ana. I didn't know you could kiss like that!" Tiff added and I wasn't sure if it was possible to blush even more.

"Geez, stop it." Gavin continued to give me that hungry look as I felt a hand on my knee. He just chuckled when I patted his hand away.

"So, are you going to tell me now why you seemed to be pissed at Michael Burton?" Who was that? "The british guy I was talking to. I met him this afternoon at the station." He said answering the confused look on my face when he mentioned the name.

"He was flirting with you." Tiff muttered from his side.

"Flirting?" He had clearly no idea that he was being targeted by the gay lad. "With me?"

"He's gay." Cam said. "I used to date him."

"A friend of Cam caught him making out with someone else." I shrugged and raised my drink. "It was kind of a sweet revenge and he was hitting on my man."

"You rock Ana!" And we drank to that.

I stretched out in my tub, snaking my arms around Gavin's neck as he continue to fondle my breasts with his big warm hands. We decided to relax in the tub instead of a quick shower after the three mind-blowing orgasms I had against the front door, the couch and in my bed. My back was to his front as he continued his free 'massage', plucking my sensitive nipples and I couldn't stop the moan that escaped my lips from heavenly feel of his hands.

"Gavin."

"Sshh. Just relax." He kissed my neck and trailed feather light kisses along my jaw.

"I thought you were giving me a massage?"

"Yes, I am. I'm just concentrating on this part first." He said and I could feel his mischievous smile from behind.

"Hmp. Perv." He turned my face to the side and captured my lips in a searing kiss.

"You love it." _And I love you_. I bit his lower lip instead of answering, before the words could slip from my lips. I didn't know if I was just waiting for him to say it first or if I was just still afraid to say those words again. I knew in my heart that what I felt for him was real and I was sure that he felt the same way. Then why couldn't I say it right now?

_Wait for the right time, Steele. Don't rush this._

I decided to change the subject to shake off the thoughts I wasn't ready to deal at the moment.

"Hey, I have a good news."

His face lit up. "Really? What is it?"

"I have a job interview on Tuesday." The excitement I felt when I received the email from Ooligan Press this afternoon came rushing back to me as I told him the rest of the details of the short email. Apparently, a senior editor had to quit because of sudden illness and they needed a replacement as soon as possible.

"That's good then. I would bet my Xbox console that you'll get the job."

"You're that sure that I will pass the interview?" That Xbox was too precious for him to be placed in a bet.

"Why won't you? You're smart, beautiful, compassionate, kind, patient, you love books-"

"Wait. You're being biased." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Well, it's true. Did I say you are beautiful, sexy as hell," He cupped my breasts, "has the best twins," then slid a hand to my aching core, "and the sweetest pussy, ever." He bit my ear as I felt him pushed a finger inside.

"Gavin," I moaned.

"Tell me what you want." He asked, adding another finger.

"I want you." He thrust his fingers faster as his thumb found my clit. I threw my head back, his thumb brushing the tight nub again and again and soon I was crying out in pleasure.

* * *

**MELISSA**

I watched Amanda and Chloe's brother stepped out of the room, talking silently as they head to the lift. I've been waiting for this perfect moment to have an alone time with that manipulating bitch. I knew she would cause some trouble the day I bumped into her. I just didn't expect the suicide stunt she pulled just because I told her a fat lie.

I glanced down the hallway to see if anyone was around before I entered the room.

"I thought you-"

"Chloe, how are you?" I smiled sweetly at her shocked expression.

"Melissa? What are you doing here?" She said in a weak voice. Was this all an act? She didn't look that weak and hopeless to me.

"I came here to visit, obviously." And to find out this evil plan of yours, klepto bitch.

She frowned, sensing that this wasn't a friendly visit.

"I heard of what you did and was shocked. Amanda told me that it was my fault that this happened to you." I said in a bored tone, not really caring if it was true. She remained silent, looking like she was having an inner war to answer or not.

I didn't wait for her to say anything and took the moment to push her with my questions. "What is this, huh? Just because I told you that Gavin got engaged to someone else, you tried to kill yourself?" I stepped closer, carefully assessing her reactions. "Why? Are you still hoping you're getting back together? After all these years? You'll just appear out of nowhere, expecting Gavin to fall on his knees and confess his undying love for you?"

"Melissa, it's not-"

"It's not what I'm thinking? That you're meant to be together?" Her weak expression was just fueling my rage and hate for the likes of her. God, she could win the Golden Globe Best Drama Actress Award. "Listen carefully, I know you're up to something, causing all these drama and shit."

"This is not a drama. I- I love Gavin. I was trying to change for him." She said trying to sound brave, but I knew better.

"Oh, how sweet of you." I put a hand over my heart, trying my best to mimic her weak expression. "Bullshit. You've been gone for too long, I doubt this has anything to do with Gavin."

"What are you trying to say, Melissa?"

I raised an eyebrow at her and noticed that she had gone pale. Bingo. "Whatever is this that you are planning, you're going to fail. Trust me."

The door burst open before Chloe could say anything.

"We're back- Melissa? What are you doing here?" Amanda pursed her lips, clearly pissed from the sight of me.

"I wanted to see how Chloe was doing."

"Why? To provoke her to do something again?" I knew that she liked Chloe a lot. But I didn't expect her to be this close to her, defending her like the klepto bitch was an angel sent from above.

"No, of course not." I acted shocked and looked a little hurt. "It was never my intention. Right, Melissa?"

I knew from day one that Amanda and I would never be best friends. We just didn't get along no matter how close I was to Gavin and Georgia. My dad and James, her husband, were business partners but she never did socialize with my mom. I wondered why not.

"Anyway, I'm leaving. You get well soon, Chloe dear." I gave her one final 'I warned you bitch' look and slipped out of the room.

* * *

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and inhaled the familiar Seattle air. I was back home. The time I spent away did nothing to forget where I belong. But nothing's changed. I left alone and came back the just the same. _A fucked up son of a bitch._

No, not entirely the same.

My head of security gave a curt nod as held the car door open for me.

I made a lot of mistakes in the past. I couldn't change them. I couldn't go back to change them all. It was me who needed the change. I did my best to change. To win my family back and all.

"Welcome back, Mr. Grey." I nodded at Taylor and buckled up at the back seat of the Audi SUV.

But it wasn't enough.

* * *

A/N: Hello! Thank you for the massive support and responses. Chapter 37 was indeed an intense one. I'm just hoping for World Peace. We can all leave our thoughts in the review section, just no fighting, pretty please? The trolls are making a come back UGH and those are the only reviews I will remove/delete. Things are going to be cray-cray now so stay with me! xx

Sorry for the lack of response to your reviews. And if there are any errors, it's all mine. Thank you again!


	39. Chapter 39

CHAPTER 39

9:30AM

I stood from the couch and paced back and forth after checking the time for the nth time. Thirty minutes before my scheduled interview and I certainly didn't want to be late. Gavin insisted to drive me today even after I refused a hundred times over. I only said yes because he was blackmailing me of buying a new car, for me, if I refuse again. Even though he was trying hard to be dead serious, he still looked sexy as hell when being persistent but no doubt that he would really buy me a new car. The last text from him was about five minutes ago, saying he was almost at the apartment. I knew he was on duty but that didn't stop him to give me a ride.

I couldn't help but to get nervous like this was going to be my first job interview. First, it had been more than a year since I last worked in a publishing house. Not an editor, but the CEO of Grey Publishing. Even if it was a lot of work, I enjoyed my job pretty much. At first I thought I was going to fail Christian for trusting me to handle the company because of my lack of experience, but just after a few months of being the CEO of GP and with the help of Roach, I got around and found it very challenging and fulfilling at the same time. And the other reason for me being jittery was that I would be having a job interview with a different publishing house. I got another email yesterday from Ooligan Press, informing me that the vacant position was given to a student from PSU. They explained that it was an unexpected request from the higher ups. But they graciously recommended me to One Portland Publishing, an independent company that had just started two years ago. I received a confirmation email from OPP just right after. They were impressed with my experience in publishing and they wanted to give me a shot.

Another five minutes and finally a text from Gavin.

_My lady, your carriage has arrived. - Mr. B_

I quickly walked to the bedroom to retrieve my purse and took one last glance in the mirror to check myself. I chose to wear a soft gray pencil skirt with a white mid-sleeve blouse with ruffle detailing then peep-toe pumps, belt, chunky necklace, and a wrist-full of silver bangles. I actually missed wearing such clothing but I would still choose jeans and sweats over pencil skirts anytime of the day. My hair, thankfully, chose to be tamed today as I let it fell down to the top of my breasts.

_Alright, let's do this, Steele._

Gavin was leaning against the passenger side of his Range Rover, waiting with his arms crossed against his chest. _Oh fucking my._ He was in uniform plus a pair of aviator sunglasses that just made him look extra sexy. Swoon. He didn't really look like a police officer on duty but a GQ model all ready to start his photoshoot. And his tousled dirty blond hair completed the bad cop vibe that was effortlessly melting my lace panties at this moment. Double swoon.

"Hi." I mumbled, finally finding my voice after shamelessly gawking at him.

"Hey. Ready?" I nodded as he closed the short distance between us. He reached out his hand, carefully caressing my cheek with the back of his knuckles. "Beautiful." He whispered.

I stood on tip toes and placed a swift kiss on his lips. "Thank you."

"God. You look so hot in that skirt, Ana." He added quickly with a wicked grin.

I rolled my eyes him. "Honey, I think you need to visit an eye specialist." I looked down and shook my head. "Work clothes are never hot." Yes, no way. I loved this skirt but it was not that short and nothing hot about it.

He just chuckled and led me to his car. "You're the hottest fucking thing. No matter what you wear, my sexy Ana."

He gripped my bottom and gave it a tight squeeze. Oh my god.

"You perv!" The delectable sight of him already made my day but the sound of his manly laughter was an added bonus and helped a lot to calm my nerves.

"Anastasia Steele?" I quickly shoved back my phone to my purse and looked up to a tall woman with long sleek black hair. "Erika Hendriks, Head of the HR department." She said and extended her right hand. She was very pretty, wearing a slim black cropped suit pants and a shorter jacket over a white dress shirt with the top two buttons undone. Her black pumps completed the professional classy look. And her eyes were telling me that she was half asian, chinese or japanese maybe, making her look more like a supermodel than an office lady.

I stood up and shook her hand. "Ms. Hendriks. Thank you for giving me this chance."

"Oh no, Ms. Steele. Thank you for coming in such a short notice." She gave me a warm smile and squeezed my hand before letting it go. "We are desperately looking for a qualified person to join our team." She then led me to a door to the right opposite to the elevators. She waved to the petite woman at the front desk as we passed and I couldn't help but remember Claire, the receptionist in Grey Publishing. I made sure to have good and friendly relationship with her and the other employees even when I got suddenly promoted as the new CEO. Back then I was so focused with my broken marriage that I never really thought about the other things that I lost when I left Seattle. Losing my job meant losing those few friends I had at work.

_Get a grip, Steele. You have to focus in the interview not about the past._

Shaking the thoughts about my former job, we entered a mini conference room with six leather chairs around a frosted glass table. I sat on the opposite chair as she opened the folder in front of her.

"I'm sorry if I brought you here, Ms. Steele. The other room where we usually conduct the interviews is currently unavailable." She said in a friendly voice as she took out a paper that I guessed was my resume.

"That's alright. And you can call me Ana." I muttered, in an equally friendly tone.

"Ana." She nodded then tipped her head down to the papers. "Since this company is relatively new and small, we are in need of more help. So after reading your resume from Ooligan, I am quite impressed. You worked for Grey Publishing before, right?" I nodded. "And it says here that you started as an assistant then shortly you became a Commissioning Editor."

I hesitantly told her about the edited version of the incident with Jack Hyde. When I was making my resume, I asked Kate if I should include all of the job details that I had in Grey Publishing. Kate advised me to be smart and practical in using my experience as a CEO. She thought that I might get a higher position because of it. I didn't want to use my connections as a former CEO because I found it embarrassing and unprofessional that my ex husband bought the company and gave it to me as a gift. I wanted to get my life back to normal with no influence from anything or anyone from my past.

I included everything in the résumé not because I wanted the top position. I wanted to start from the bottom or any job that Erika would give me if I pass this interview.

"I've been in the publishing business for some time now and I've heard a lot about Grey Publishing in Seattle. Ana, if don't mind me asking, are you that former CEO Anastasia Grey?"

Like what I've thought. There was no way she wouldn't ask me that. "Yes." I said.

"I see." Her expression was unreadable.

"That is my old job and I'm willing to take any position that you think I could handle." She seemed to be in a deep thought looking at the papers. I needed to keep my composure and prove to her that I can do the job. "It has a been more than a year now when I last worked in publishing and I'm willing to be trained again if needed."

"Actually, I was quite impressed of how things went better when SIP became Grey Publishing. Before Max started this company, he'd been monitoring the publishing houses from Oregon and Washington. And since Seattle had bigger company rivals like Grey Publishing, he chose Portland where we had less competitive publishing companies. After reading your experiences in publishing you are definitely qualified for the job, Ana."

Oh, wow. I didn't expect that. "Thank you. I loved my job even as an assistant before. I find it very challenging and exciting to discover talented authors and help them publish and share their work in public." I smiled nervously because I was still not sure of what's going to happen next.

Erika gave me a tight smile as she glanced down and wrote something. "Unfortunately, Ana," Oh no. "the CEO position is currently occupied by Max Barrett but if you are interested, you can be our new Commissioning Editor." Erika's smile widened.

"Really?" She nodded and beamed at me. "Oh god, thank you! I'm happy to accept the job."

"You can start on Monday and be here at 8 in the morning." She stood up and shook my hand.

"I'll be here, Monday. Thank you, Ms. Hendriks." I returned her beaming smile trying hard to control the excitement from getting the job. I might embarrassed myself in front of her if I didn't try to contain the five year old in me from jumping up and down.

"Oh, you can call me Erika. I know you are going to be a big part of the team, Ana. Welcome to One Portland Publishing."

* * *

"Oh my god, Ana!" Tiffany launched herself at me. "We need to celebrate!" I hugged her back and tried to calm her down as she continued squealing from her excitement over the news of my successful job interview.

"Okay, okay." I chuckled as she finally took a seat beside me. "People are staring at us now." Tiff's over excitement brought another attention in our table.

"We're fabulous, that's why." We giggled like teenagers and took our orders. "When are you starting?"

"Monday. I can't believe that I did it." I wasn't expecting that I would get such position in One Portland. Things went well and I was just glad that Erika kept things professional even after learning that I was a former Grey. She didn't ask more questions about it and instead she focused on my performance and experience in the publishing business. I'd decided I liked her and I would do everything to not let her down in trusting me. I couldn't wait to call my Mom and tell her about the good news.

"What did old Al say? Is there someone ready to replace you at the bookstore?" I already mentioned the interview to the bookstore owner last week. Good thing, Jenny was ready to go back because she needed the job after her husband got recently fired from work.

"It's all good. He said he was going to miss me." We continued to chat about her web designs and her projects when Cam walked in with the biggest grin on his face. He was radiating a happy aura and I could tell he had some good news for us too.

"Ana, girl, I knew you could do it!" He said, giving me a tight hug. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you Cam. Now, why are you grinning like you just got laid?" I raised an eyebrow at him and that seemed to get Tiff's attention back to Cam.

He blushed twenty shades of red. "Uhm.."

"Oh my god, you.. Don't tell me-" Tiff muttered in a loud voice, again gaining more attention back to our table.

"No. Jesus Christ, be quiet Fany. It's not that."

"Then what is it?" Tiff said again, this time in a whisper.

I leaned closer, getting more curious about Cam's dirty little secret.

"Well, you see.." Cam stopped what he was about to say when his phone suddenly rang.

"Leave it, Camy. Tell us already!" He ignored Tiff's pleading and answered his phone.

"Hey, honey."

Tiff met my gaze, her mouth hanging open. Holy freaking shit!

"I'm with the girls for lunch." He listened intently, his smile almost reaching his ears. "I see. So I'll see you tomorrow, breakfast?"

After a sweet good-bye, he hung up and turned back to us. "Now, where was I?"

"You little piece of shit!" Tiff was the first one to recover from shock. "SPILL!"

The day turned riot after Cam revealed the secret behind his happy mood. Nope, he was still a virgin. Sorry folks. But, with a capital B, he had a new guy! It was none other than the hottie cowboy back at the bar Saturday night. Tiff and I were both speechless for like five minutes. Our gay radar didn't pick up the signal because he was too damn hot and quiet that night. The two bumped into each other at the coffee shop Sunday Morning. The hottie cowboy spilled his coffee to Cam's dress shirt and the rest was... history I guess. After Tiff recovered from the massive shock of Cam bagging the hottie cowboy, she was firing questions after questions after questions, wanting all the dirty little details. She just stopped bombarding questions when Cam said they were just getting to know each other and just kissed only twice so far.

We decided to celebrate back at my apartment with a bottle of Jose Cuervo. Mom, Ray and Kate were all ecstatic after I called them informing that I would be working in publishing again. Kate wanted to drive down to join the mini celebration but work was too busy at the moment and just promised to visit on Saturday. My Gavin being as sweet as ever, volunteered to cook dinner this time featuring his special recipes Baked Teriyaki Chicken and Meatball Nirvana. My baby boy had a happy tummy that he didn't even get to play after dinner because he was too sleepy and hit the sack earlier than his usual bed time.

I thought the day couldn't get any better from the all the good things that happened. But Gavin had one more surprise for me.

"All done, honey." I said as we finished cleaning up. Tiff and Cam had already left half an hour ago.

He came up behind me and wrapped his arms tightly around me. "I have something for you."

Gavin gently brushed my hair with fingers and pushed them to one side. He trailed kisses from my collarbone up to that sensitive side of my earlobe. I couldn't help but to moan when slowly traced the same path down with his tongue. "God, Ana. You taste so fucking good."

"Are you kidding me? I'm all sweaty." I playfully shoved him away from me.

"I like you hot and sweaty." He turned my head and captured my lips in a sensual kiss.

When I pulled away and opened my eyes, he pulled out a shiny diamond necklace. Oh my god.

"Gavin." I gasped and turned to look at him. It was stunning, the chain were small clusters of diamonds that came together in the center and then cascaded down. I loved it.

"Here let me." I put my hair up as he placed the beautiful diamond necklace around my neck.

I quickly shuffled in the far corner to look in the mirror. Oh fucking my. Did I say I loved it?

"Gavin." I whispered as I turned into his arms. "It's exquisite. I love it. Thank you." I stood on tiptoes and kissed him with all I got. "But what is this for?"

He shrugged and smiled shyly. "When I saw it in the jewelry store, I just knew it would be perfect for you. It's called Floating Necklace."

"And what were you doing in a jewelry shop?" I asked playfully as I snaked my arms around his neck.

"I was thinking I should get you something. I know it's nothing fancy and maybe not as beautiful like the ones you used to have-"

I quickly cut him off. "I don't care where you got this or how much it cost." I placed a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. "Thank you. It's the most beautiful thing. I love it."

"I..." He looked deep into my eyes with his soulful light blue orbs, overflowing with powerful emotions. Lust, need, devotion, fear, sincerity, passion and-

"Love.. you, Ana" He choked out. "I love you, Anastasia Steele. So damn much."

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the errors, if there are any. Hello! Sorry for the loooong wait. Hope you all read my message on my bio? Another reason for the massive delay is that I thought we all needed a break from all the drama. I already told yo I'm not a big fan of drama. And I got really upset that some threw a fit because of the Ending that I haven't written YET. So I don't know where you got that Ending. I am hoping that we won't have anymore unnecessary drama and I will be deleting those 'KILLING' comments because I am getting sick of people telling me how to write my own story and how I should end it and that I should kill my characters. That's all. Oh and Thanks for everyone who voted in the POLL! You saw the results right? And like what I've said, it won't have any effect to the story. Just for fun. So thanks again!

I am actually working on Chapter 40 and planned to post it today also. But I am having a busy birthday even though I didn't plan anything special today. Not a fan of fancy celebrations. So I wasn't able to finish the chapter on time but I'm going to write as soon as I could. THANK YOU! - Ella xx


	40. Chapter 40

**GAVIN**

Fuck.

I said it.

I'd never plan to but I did.

Looking into her eyes, I knew she saw it all.

All of me.

The way I feel for her, I never thought I would love someone like this. I've always been so sure and confident about my feelings. I've always been ready. Everything was planned. But this was the first time my heart overruled and controlled my body. This was so different from what I'd had before with the others I'd been with. When she looked into my eyes, really looked into my eyes, it was my undoing. In that moment, I knew it was impossible to stop it. She had me and I'd no regrets.

The women in my past had that strong grip in my heart. They left scars that would always be a reminder of how painful it was to give yourself and be crushed in the end. But with Ana, it was hell a lot different. She had me chained. Fuck yes, chained. And she was the only key. Only her had that power to make or break my heart.

Right now, I didn't care. I knew we were just starting and she was still healing from her past marriage. I would never, ever push her into something that she wasn't a hundred and ten percent sure. She had to know, that was the most important thing. She had to know how it was impossible not to love her just by being … her. She had to know that there was nothing wrong with her, that she was perfect. She had to know how much she was loved.

It might be too soon, but I was taking my chances. I just wished I didn't freak her out.

I swallowed, hard. She was just looking at me, not saying anything. Other than the short gasp of breath, nothing. _Fuck, Boyle. You're going to lose her man, do or say something!_

"Ana–"

"Gavin–"

We were both cut off by a phone ringing. Damn, it was mine. I knew from the tone that it was not from the station, so it was safe to ignore it.

"Ana, you–"

"Your phone." I shook my head and tried to speak but she placed a finger on my lips. "It must be important, go ahead."

Hell, I didn't want to answer it. I looked at the caller and it was my dad. I wondered why he was calling at such a late hour.

"Dad?"

"Son." James Boyle's tired voice greeted me on the other line. "I'm glad you are still awake. Oh wait, are you on duty?"

"No Dad, I'm at Ana's. What's with the late call?" I wrapped my free arm around Ana's waist and pulled her close when she tried to step away.

"I've meant to call you this morning but some new clients got in the way and now I finally managed to take a break and call." He pause for a second. "It's about your Mom."

"Did something happen to her?" I asked quickly.

"No son. Nothing like that. She told me you were brushing her off."

I shouldn't be surprised about this then. Mom had been relentlessly calling the past week. I loved my mother, that's for sure, but I just didn't understand why she kept on pushing me to Chloe? I get that she was close to her but it just didn't make any sense.

"Dad–"

"Listen, son." He cut me off first. "I know you're building a new life there in Portland, and I am so proud of you for that. But she's your mother. Don't ignore her. I know you don't want anything to do with Chloe. Just humor your mother Gavin. Come and visit just once to check on the girl. Then tell her how is your life going in Portland. I'm sure they'll both understand."

"But Dad, I don't think that's a good idea. Mom might misunderstand–"

"She won't. She's your mother. Give her that." I gritted my teeth as I was trying to calm myself before I say something that would start an argument. But before I could say anything, I felt Ana's arms around me. Her warm body and sweet scent instantly calmed me. Thank fuck she was here. An disagreement with my Dad was the last thing I wanted to do right now. "She knew what you have been through. We've been taking care of those kids ever since their parents died. Before, your Mom just had this fantasy of making them as real family. And it just all came back after the incident with Chloe. Maybe the poor girl was just shocked about the false news that you were engaged. Melissa crossed the line this time. I can't believe that girl."

I sighed. "Dad. I don't know. Things might just get complicated"

"You're not doing this for me, son. Or for Chloe. Do it for your Mom. She misses you." Fuck, how could I say no to that?

I looked at Ana's mesmerizing blue eyes. Looking for an answer. Hell, I didn't want to go but Dad was right, I had to do this for Mom. But I didn't want to make a decision without talking to Ana first. She had to know. I wanted her to know.

"I'll think about it and I'll get back at you." I said and brought my forehead down to Ana's shoulder.

"This weekend, have dinner with us. Call me as soon as you can." After a quick good-bye, he ended the call.

**ANA**

"Okay?" I asked as he placed his head in the crook of my neck.

"Dad wants me to come home." He said quietly, his hot breath sending shivers down to my body.

"Then go visit your parents." This thing with Chloe was definitely making some conflict in their family, especially with his Mom. I knew how Gavin loved her and respected her. And the last thing I wanted to happen was to stand in between and place a crack in their relationship. Maybe I was just being paranoid, but based on her last visit I knew she didn't like that her son was already in a relationship with me. I wouldn't want to judge her because we hadn't even met, but I couldn't ignore this nagging feeling inside me. I was still unsure about his ex's suicidal attempt, but if she just did it to get Gavin's attention to get him back then she was failing miserably.

He just said he loved me. _Oh fucking my._

I ran a hand through his hair as we stayed close together. The way he said it, it was so raw and emotional. It never felt like being forced from his mouth or out of desperation. He had his fair share of love and heartbreak. He'd been betrayed, played and broken. Saying those words again was not that easy. It just flowed naturally.

"I don't want to." He pulled back and looked into my eyes. "And I want to ask you first."

"Ask me about what?" I asked curiously.

He tightened his hold on me. "If it's alright to visit Chloe."

"Why are you asking for permission? It's your decision to make, Gavin."

"Is it okay? You're not gonna be upset?" He asked carefully, looking like a tamed ten year old boy who didn't want to disappoint his momma.

A small smile played on the corner of my lips. "You're cute." I couldn't stop myself from pinching his stubbly cheek. I chuckled as his brows furrowed from my remark. "I won't be upset. None of your exes were on my top ten list of favorite people but this case is different." I shrugged. "Like what I've said it's your decision to make. I know she wants you back but I trust you, so don't worry about me."

He sighed and brought our foreheads together. "Alright then." He ran his nose along mine and bit my lower lip. "And besides, I already have you. I only want you."

He then captured my lips and gave me a slow and passionate kiss. No words could ever match the way he was making me feel right now. His every kiss, his every touch, he was giving it all.

For the past year, I did manage to build a new life after my failed marriage with my first love. I built walls that would protect me, that would help me heal from the past. I'd promised myself not to let anything or anyone inside that could leave me broken again. I did good, actually. Pieces by pieces, I found myself again and planned for a better future with my son. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I was trying. Then this man came along.

I thought that if I let someone in again, I would eventually go back to that broken woman that I became after learning my ex-husband's betrayal. But I was wrong. Gavin showed me a different world. He let himself in effortlessly by just being him. By showing me that I could care again, that I could love again. He even helped me strengthened those walls to shield myself and learn from my mistakes. The past year was all about me standing on my own. I might have been doubtful of what had left of me. But Gavin made me realize that I was still me. It all just made me stronger, that I could be a giver again without losing myself.

I was a single mother. A divorcee. And still, Gavin loved me.

_How did that happen? I love him but do I deserve someone like him?_

You think too much, Steele. Just feel it.

When I pulled back from the kiss, I opened my mouth to speak but he beat me to it.

"Ana, I love you." He started but when I tried to speak again he quickly added, "but you don't have to say it back. I understand. You are not ready for this and I don't want you to feel pressured about it. I know this might push you away but I want you to know that you're the best thing that happened to me. You and Ted. After Jane, I already gave up and never thought that I would feel... something strong like this. You're always on my mind, every second of the day. Just hearing your voice, seeing your smile, hell just your presence alone is making my life complete. I love you, Ana. I want to take care of you, protect you and love you with all I am. And I don't want to lose you." Oh my god. "Like what I've said, I don't want to push you and say it back. You don't have to. I will wait, it doesn't matter how long it would take."

"Gavin, listen."

"You don't have to say anything about it. I didn't mean to freak you out. And I'm willing to do anything–" His phone rang again. And this time I knew it was an emergency call. What with these late phone calls?

"Shit." He said and quickly answered the phone. "Boyle." He listened intently and just like that, from my sweet, vulnerable Gavin his demeanor changed to a dangerous hot cop. Hello Officer!

"Got it. Be there in 10." He placed swift kisses on my forehead, my nose then to my lips. "Duty calls. Gotta go. I'll see you in the morning." And with that, he was out on the door.

Geez. "I love you too, silly man." I muttered to myself and sighed.

* * *

"Steele! I missed you!" A beaming Kate Kavanagh Grey launched herself at me after I opened the door, almost losing my balance. My best friend hugged me like we haven't seen each other for years. She decided to come early Friday morning after her scheduled interview got canceled at the last minute. Elliot kindly offered to take care of Ava so Kate could stay for the weekend.

"Kate. I can't breathe!" I managed to say while laughing.

"Ooops!" She giggled and took a step back, eyeing me from head to toe. "Oh my god, look at you. You are glowing!"

I made a face. "I'm not a star, Kate."

"Dummy. I mean, gosh, you look different. Good different." Her voice softened. "You look... happy."

"I am happy." My face split into a wide grin.

"The hot cop, eh?" She gave me a knowing smile.

"I love him, Kate." I whispered and once again I found myself being enveloped into a bear hug.

"I'm so happy for you, Ana. He's perfect for you." When she pulled back there were tears in her eyes. Oh Kate. "I knew you could find someone that you truly deserve."

"He's..." I said trailing off, trying to find the perfect word to describe my man. Well, not that a word was enough to describe Gavin.

"I know." She muttered and pulled me down with her on the couch. "There are no words to describe your smoking hot personal police Officer." She fanned herself, swooning like a teenager.

"And you're forgetting something..."

"Oh shit, how could I? Congratulations! Welcome back to the publishing world. I knew you could do it." I told her about the interview and how excited I was to start on Monday.

"Teddy's out already? I miss his chubby cheeks. Ava has something for him and from Uncle Elliot too." Geez, the Greys were really spoiling my boy. I was about to say something when I heard a knock on the door.

I told Kate to make herself at home as I stood up and made my way to check my second guest for the day.

"Good morning, Ana!" And once again, I was locked in a tight hug by the redhead version of Kate.

"Tiff, morning. Come on in. I want you to meet someone." I ushered her inside and introduced her to Kate.

"Kate, this Tiffany. Tiff, this is Kate." Finally, I got the two closest girlfriends I had in the same room. Kate gave Tiff a once over and Tiff did the same. Uh oh. Was this a bad idea? Since they both had the same personality, well not really just almost the same, and same interests I thought they would get along just fine. I was about to speak when Kate finally broke the silence.

"So, you're the redhead my _best_ friend Ana was talking about." She said with a raised eyebrow.

"And you're the strawberry blonde _my_ best friend Ana was talking about." Tiff shot back. Geez, what's with these two?

But before I could cut the tension building between the two, Tiff and Kate both said, "I like your shoes." What?

And then, "I love your bag."

"I like your skirt." Tiffany said. "I like your jeans." Kate said at the same time.

"Shopping?" Kate said this time alone.

Then followed by Tiff, "Today?"

"Right. Katherine Grey."

"Tiffany Jones."

They shook their hands and both squealed "Friends!"

_Whew._ I let out a sigh of relief after that weird introduction or whatever it was. Geez, I was right,. These girls were long-lost twins.

"WHAT?" I almost blocked my ears from the high-pitched tone of Kate and Tiff's voice. Once again, we were attracting annoyed customers at Danny's. The girls and I decided to go shopping for my new work clothes. Okay, scratch that. Kate and Tiff decided that I should add more to my very few wardrobe. Kate brought some skirts and dresses from her own closet that she regarded as 'unused' and 'extra' things that she didn't need anymore. I saw the tags and I knew some were just recently purchased from the store. I was about to protest but when Kate said it was like her and Elliot's congratulatory gift for getting the job, I let it go.

"He finally said it?" Tiff leaned closer, dropping her grilled cheese burger and turned her full attention to me.

I nodded and smiled shyly.

"I told you, Ana. He's the one! How did he say it? After a wild or passionate kiss?" Tiff questioned and quickly followed by Kate probing, "After he cooked you dinner? Before, during or after sex? Or during his orgasm?"

Oh god. I didn't even know if I should be shocked first by their so inappropriate questions in a public place or laugh because they were just too much together. One was a riot enough but having these two girls in a room together? Talk about super cray-cray!

"Geez, you two." I said in a whisper, failing miserably to hide my amusement, "can you tone it down. I swear, we are going to be banned in this place for being so loud."

"They won't. Now tell us!"

"Fine, but please just don't be too loud." I pleaded since I liked it here and being kicked out would be very embarrassing.

"Okay, okay." Kate surrendered and zipped her lips.

"Yes, now tell us." Tiff muttered in a low whisper and turned her head from side to side in an exaggerated way like we were sharing some sort of highly confidential matter. It Kate and I giggle like teenagers. Seriously, these two.

"He said it after he gave me this," I said and fingered my floating necklace, showing it to the both of them.

"Oh, that's beautiful. Gavin's such a romantic guy." Kate sighed and gave me a small smile.

"He's so sweet. I wish I'm with someone like him." A sad expression crossed Tiff's face but was quickly replaced by excitement. I wondered what happened to her and Jamie's father. "Did you tell him you love him too? And had an explosive, mind blowing, explicit, body shocking sex after?" Tiff asked. I wished it was what happened but it didn't.

_You were too slow, Steele._

I looked down to my plate and picked my food. "No." I answered quietly.

"What? Why? You said you feel the same." Kate crossed her arms while Tiff nodded her head in agreement.

"I do. I was going to say it back but we got interrupted. First it was his dad who called and then an emergency at the station. He was out on the door even before I could say it."

Tiff shook her head. "Damn, wrong timing."

"Yeah. And that was Tuesday night. I couldn't find the perfect time yet to say those words too."

"Well, it's not like he's leaving for a war tomorrow. You could set something up and surprise him." Kate suggested and sipped her diet coke.

"Yes! That's a great idea, blondie. We'll help you plan it." Kate raised an eyebrow at Tiff after hearing the word 'blondie'. Good lord, what's with Tiff and her pet names? I wondered why I didn't have one from her.

"Blondie?" Tiff nodded. "Blondie." Kate tested the name again, looking like she was considering the new name from Tiff.

"Okay. But I'll call you Red."

"Deal." And they shook hands. I couldn't help but to smile at the sight of them getting along so well. Kate had been there for me since day one. Our friendship was built in a solid rock and would definitely last forever. After moving in a different state, I felt lonely and missed her like hell. But thank god I found Tiff and Cam. I just met them a month and a half ago but it felt like I've known them all my life.

We were about to leave when my phone rang. It was an unknown number.

Who could this be? "Hello?"

"Ana? It's me, Melissa."

* * *

**CHLOE**

I stepped out of shower and grabbed the white robe after drying myself with a towel. Thank fucking god I finally had a shower. I no longer smell like the mixture of disinfectants that I got my from hospital room. I hated hospitals. It brought back some nasty memories when my parents died. But I had no choice. Even cutting myself, it was a crazy idea I knew that. But it was very effective to get the attention I needed. Not from those… Fuck, I couldn't even say their names without having such horrible thoughts.

Seeing Melissa was an unexpected turn of events. That crazy bitch didn't even change a bit. She's still a spoiled nosy brat. I didn't know why Gavin was so fond of her. Even his sister, Georgia, treated her like she was part of the family. And she'd never treated me like one.

But I had to say, meeting Melissa that day did me a huge favor. I needed Gavin. The news that he was already with someone didn't surprise me and the news that he was engaged gave me the idea. But learning that he wasn't engaged yet was such a huge relief. I didn't care if he was dating someone now. _I need him so bad._ He was my only hope. I could work the same magic that captured his heart before. _First love never dies._ Yes, I had to hold on to that. I knew he was once engaged to be married, I had no doubt it didn't happen because it was just not meant to be.

Now, I just had to be patient and wait for Amanda's motherly magic to work. I had her side since day one. She might still me see me like a fucking barbie but I didn't care. Gavin would never say no to her. I doubt that woman he was currently seeing would be a problem. I heard she had a son, tough luck Amanda didn't like that a bit. Melissa might be another problem but as long as Amanda was on my side, she wouldn't be able to do anything.

I chose to wear a light blue sundress for tonight's dinner. God, I looked like a fucking angel. James was taking us to an Italian restaurant to celebrate my recovery. I was worried at first that he would suggest that I should stay longer in the hospital to get checked furthermore by a shrink. Fortunately, Amanda refused. They offered for me and my brother to stay with them for a few weeks. Why would I say no to that? A greater chance to see Gavin.

I was done applying my lipstick when Amanda knocked on my door. "I'm ready." I called out.

She walked in, looking classy and elegant as ever. "Darling, Chloe, you look stunning."

"Thank you." I replied and smiled shyly.

"I have a good news for you. Gavin is coming to visit! Finally. That boy is so stubborn but James was able to talk some sense into him."

An uncontrollable, huge smile crossed my face . "I can't wait to see him."

* * *

Here's the list of the other characters. Because someone mentioned losing track of the secondary characters.

Amanda - Gavin's mother

James - Gavin's father

Melissa - a close friend of Gavin. First mentioned chapter 17.

Georgia - Gavin's sister.

Chloe - Gavin's ex. First love.

* * *

**A/N:** Hello! I'm here, alive and kicking! Terrible week, with the typhoon and floods. Geez. Thanks for the messages, here and on FB. My home is safe, it's just that we were still demanded to work despite of the **massive** rains. It was Crazy with capital C. *in Filipino* _Buwis Buhay_. No mercy! Lol sorry, it was just not fair. Anyway, back to Strong Steele. Happy 40th chapter! Wow, the support and reviews you are giving this story... just amazing. Thank you. I'm so overwhelmed by your responses. I read every single one of them. I feel so bad for not replying to all of your reviews. But let me say THANK YOU so much. I do appreciate your time and every letter that you type in that box below.

And thank you for all the Birthday wishes! Your messages made it more special :)

And I would like to give a big Welcome to the new readers and followers and favorites! Read your reviews from the first few chapters and couldn't help myself but to read them again too. I have some new fave names like PopPopPopPop lol hello! Silly me, I have such dirty thoughts. _hihihi _oh hello Tilly Tilly Tilly! lol x I would love to mention all of you but.. too many! God, it's going to take me days. But anyway, you know I love you guys.

And to **be1900. **Hi Shannon! Glad you loved the books I mentioned before. I think you were pertaining to Up In The Air series by R.K. Lilley? Grounded was the third book. And of course Crossfire. Oh I loved Bad Things too! Yes, give me your email and I would love to recommend more to you. You can leave it as a guest and I will just delete it. I moderate the guest reviews before approving them, so it's safe ;) And you can also check my Goodreads page. :)

I hope you'll like chapter even if it's not what you're expecting. And for those asking for Christian, he's still in the story don't yah worry. Sorry if there are any errors. That's all. Thanks! - Ella xx


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